James Gunn does Supergirl

Pardon me as I channel my inner Critical Drinker.

Long time ago, back when people still cared about comic book films … or any films … I would break down ads, and analyze certain things from a writing point of view.

I haven’t done many in the last few years because, well, I haven’t seen a single ad that I cared about one way or another. 

Some of these characters were ruined before the ad dropped (we’re making a Black Widow movie after Endgame? Really?) or the ads have been so generic that I couldn’t tell you what I was looking at.

James Gunn’s Superman — he didn’t look like anyone else’s Superman — just looked bland and colorless. Because James Gunn can’t do “good people” as characters. They have to be quirky, with offbeat humor, and a soundtrack at least as old as I am. The only part of the Superman ads that made me even remotely interested was the John Williams music.

But now, the DCU films have accomplished what no one else could. They have made me feel something about a comic book film other than apathy.

Disgust.

Revulsion.

You see, DC has released their Supergirl trailer.1

And having seen the trailer, I can sum up my feelings as a big old “F you, no. Have a nice life.”

Or, in an approximation of Critical Drinker, “For the love of God, another James Gunn movie, by a James Gunn wannabe. From the soundtrack, to the humor. Just f*** off, film.”

If you saw James Gunn’s Superman, you realized that the presentation of Supergirl is presented purely as “drunken a-hole.”

The trailer is very much just that. Only with additional James Gunn soundtrack and some snarky lines.

Jason Bromoa2 is there, as promised, in a Lobo cameo so fast that if you blinked, you missed it, with lighting so bad that if you didn’t know to look for him, you wouldn’t have seen him.

So you don’t have to look it up, this is your best and only image of Lobo.

And you know that if anyone sees this movie, it will be for Lobo. That split-second view seems to be the only thing anyone is talking about the day after.

The trailer opens with James Gunn music on a record player, and James Gunn’s dog urinating on a newspaper with Superman’s face on it.

Supergirl is then on another planet, getting plastered with enough alcohol to float a cruise ship—because is it a James Gunn film without a main character being a drunken or libidinous a-hole?

And then, in James Gunn fashion, the rest of the trailer is pure havoc. There are random, flashing images that make no sense. Unhinged violence. Explosions. And none of it even looks particularly exciting.

And the narration … That’s where the trailer gets worse. Yes, because there is no bottom, it will always get worse.

I especially liked3 Supergirl’s narration of “Superman sees the good in everybody. I see the truth.”

Well, screw you very much, film. I had no interest in seeing you before. Now I have negative interest.

For the record, the Supergirl line SHOULD HAVE BEEN:

“Superman sees the good in everyone… And that’s why he puts up with me.”

Because if you’re going to to have a Supergirl with this much self-loathing that she’s a drunken mess, then you might as well go all the way.

So, why?

Why is it this bad?

Is it just James Gunn? Oh no. It’s worse than just Gunn’s influence.

There’s also Tom King.

If you don’t know Tom King, cast your mind back a few years. Remember when DC built up a storyline about Batman marrying Catwoman, but it ended with a rug-pull at issue 50 (of a planned 100 issue run)? That was Tom King. That rug-pull killed the sales of the entire run as dead as disco.4

Tom King’s Supergirl run been cited as the influence of this film5…

That must have been a really crappy run. I didn’t even hear about him being on it.

Tom King’s take on Supergirl is as a “grizzled drunken gunslinger.”

So, DC hired a 22 year old blonde to play John Wayne as Rooster Cogburn in True Grit?

Does anyone hear just how dumb this sounds?

So, why can’t the writers just like Supergirl be the female version of Superman? The best of us, with superpowers?

Because then she wouldn’t be a James Gunn character. Or even a Tom King character.

It’s not about giving the audience what they want.

It’s about serving the audience what these nihilist jerks want, and the audience will LIKE IT.

And this is the James Gunn method. James Gunn music and jokes and nihilism. If we’re lucky there’s going to be some sort of actual heroism in there by accident. He got away with it for Guardians because they’re not exactly the most well-known characters Marvel has, so there’s nothing to ruin.

With DC’s super-family? People know them and have certain expectations. This does not meet any of them.

Pardon me, I think I’m going to rinse my brain out by watching Helen Slater as Supergirl. The film was bad, but her character was at least presented like someone gave a damn.

Illegitimi non carborundum, y’all.

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What universe would I play in?

What would I do with Special Circumstances in original stories? I’d have the bad guys be smarter, for one. Thus far, the Special Circumstances villains all want to engage with Ringo’s heroine immediately.

The Scuttlebutt asked:

If I could play in any current series, what would I choose?

Um … The one with the best sales?

I don’t know. At one point I considered Monster Hunter International. Just a book in the New York City chapter. I would have had fun with that. You know

Everyone in the NYC chapter drove into Long Island or took the Long Island Rail Road. No one took the subways. That’s where the giant rats the size of buses lived.

Things like that.

I even had a random idea for a short story of “There are no alligators in the sewers because Sobek ate them,” only Sobek looked like a Gorn, and the chase ended at Big Alice (power station, Astoria). The solution was to plug the monster into the power grid and light it up like Gojira. It resulted in the the 1977 blackout…

Then Ringo wrote Monster Hunter Memoirs, where Sobek looked like a Caiman.1

I brought it up with Larry Correia once. He was busy. 

Since then, four other random people are playing in the universe now.

Another series I considered: When Ringo posted on X that “All series without an ending will have to stay that way, unless I can get a coauthor to wrap them up,” I immediately asked how to volunteer for his Special Circumstances novels.

Princess of Wands

After 12 books of Saint Tommy, I think I can handle it.

That’s a bit in limbo right now. I’d been going back and forth on it with … people…

My last exchange with said people was last June … before LibertyCon …

IE: Right before I went into the hospital.

I got out of the hospital, recovered, and went almost immediately into marketing On Tiber’s Edge.

After that I started writing the sequel.

At least I think that was the exact sequence of events. I may have started on the outline for Beside Still Waters before On Tiber’s Edge even released. If that’s correct, that means I was working on the sequel before I even finished my recovery.

It’s funny, looking back on it, the hospital stay really screwed up my schedule, didn’t it? 

For a “near death experience” so undramatic,2 it really did screw up a few things.

But to honestly answer the question… I’d work in anyone’s world who wanted. I’m not particularly picky.

Would I like to do Ringo’s Special Circumstances? Sure. Though I wonder how much would look like James Patterson’s NYPD Red series…

Now I have to explain that, don’t I?

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Okay, Marshall Karp is a Hollywierdo who wrote a book series lampooning Hollywood. The first book was The Rabbit Factory. It took an awful lot of shots at a theme park in Anaheim that was, really-honestly-truly-NOT-Disney-don’t-sue-me, and the first murder victim worse a character costume of a Rabbit, not a mouse, so it was not Mickey. Honest.

I found two of Karp’s books in his series. One of the novels (don’t ask me which, this was decades ago) featured a serial killer, who was following his own script on Hollywood producers who rejected it.

The next time I find Marshall Karp, he’s working on a book series with Patterson called NYPD Red, that also deals with Hollyweirdoes.3

The first book features — wait for it — a serial killer who has scripted out the murders. 

It felt very much like a retread of his own novel. Karp moved it to New York, changed the leads, and … not much else, really.

Anyway, I bring this up because that could—very technically — be an option with Saint Tommy and Special Circumstances. Don’t mistake me, I have thoughts for at least two original novels worth of Special Circumstances. Personally, I think just swapping characters would be cheating.

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But…

Ringo has over seven million copies of his books in print. If I had 1% of his readership, I’d close all my social media down and retire from the internet. 

You, the person reading this now, clearly reads me and my books. If you read a Special Circumstances novel that took from Saint Tommy NYPD, you’d noticed. 

But unless there’s a lot of pirated novels out there, a sizeable margin of Ringo’s readership have clearly not read anything by me.

So, technically, I could take my twelve Saint Tommy Novels and rewrite them as four Special Circumstances novels. They would be very different novels by the time they were done. Ringo’s lead is different. Large parts of developing / discovering powers would be excised. Tommy’s supporting cast isn’t Barb’s. Etc, etc.

Why four novels? The Saint Tommy novels are half the size of the standard Ringo, and I ended up with trilogies each time, whether I planned it or not. And cutting them down to run continuously would shrink them further. I could technically take Ringo’s Barb, drop her into similar situations, and run them from there. Figure each book would translate down into, maybe, 50,000 words? And each trilogy would make a 150,000 word John Ringo novel.

Granted, if we did that, I’d probably have to pull the Saint Tommy novels from the Baen website. Yes. Baen sells my books. They’re just a vendor. They do not publish my books. 

Forgive me for stressing that, some people have been confused. I figure if we turned Saint Tommy into Special Circumstances, having those just lying around would look awkward. I’d be amused if they didn’t.

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Queen of Wands

At least one of Ringo’s short stories could have turned into a full novel if he changed two elements, one of which is “have the villains scatter.”

It would have looked like a Mitch Rapp novel as Urban Fantasy, but still…

And frankly, his second novel changed the world so much that I don’t see how it couldn’t reshape the planet.

And I’d have more detective work…

Yes, detective work.

Don’t look at me like that. I think Die Hard has a mystery in it, but like Mike Hammer novels, we’re all too busy getting shot at to pay attention to said mystery.4

No, I have not read Ringo’s new chapters on his paid Substack. I don’t even have time for the free Substacks I’m subscribed to. You don’t want to see my email backlog. Oy!

So yeah, I’ve had thoughts here and there.

One of my ideas for a Special Circumstances novel is a concept I’m holding back on.

Originally, I was going to make another Saint Tommy novel with “the kids,” Jeremy and Lena. But life has gotten in the way of that one. 

And frankly, if it’s possible to become a co-author of a Baen novel, I’d rather write use the original idea to write that one. 

Not that I don’t want to play more in my own universe, but because I want to make something like money.

As for any other series I’d want to play in … nothing comes to mind.

I mean, White Ops is if I did Babylon 5 by way of Baen.

Love at First Bite and Honeymoon from Hell was if I did vampires, and it started as a Buffy fan fiction long, long ago.

If you follow my stories in the Fantastic Schools anthologies with L. Jagi Lamplighter Wright, I’m basically doing “Harry Potter university,” and I’m sort of making that my own novel, with each short story being a chapter.

I wouldn’t really want to do Star Wars unless Timothy Zahn was in control of Star Wars.

I could see myself doing Marvel comics, but only if they let me fix Marvel. The plot is called “One Final Day,” where Mephisto has been responsible for screwing up all of the Marvel universe since Civil War, and using One More Day to rewrite reality and screw up everyone.

I have an idea for a Punisher story, where my thought is put Frank Castle in a situation where he has to save people from a shootout—I was thinking a Texas divorcee, with children. Make Castle suspicious of her. Make him do detective work. For extra change of scenery and comedy, make her live across the street from Aunt May in Queens.

Follow that with a plot where Castle kills The Wrong Person (like a member of The Hand), and we put a $50 million bounty on him, so Castle gets to play with every villain in the Marvel universe except for Doctor Doom (like he needs money. Ha!). I figure it ends with Deadpool trying to kill Castle, until Frank talks Deadpool into faking Castle’s death, taking the money, and letting the Hand after Wade—it would be much more fun for Deadpool that way, he kills more people. (The real finale comes when the Hand sends ninjas after Castle directly. At that point, the Marvel heroes come in to break it up, because enough is enough.) Castle then works for SHIELD for a bit.

Keep in mind, what I’ve read and see of The Punisher is so old, what I read was written by Frank Miller. So if all of these plots have happened already, then I got nothing.

I don’t have many ideas for DC Comics. I have a general idea of

“Superman is allergic to magic. First, Lex Luthor hires one of Constantine’s villains to curse Superman from another continent. Then, we invite every magic user to kill Superman.”

I figure that would run a few issues. Maybe a year?

Also, I’d want to do more with Bane. He might be the most underutilized, misused character in all of Batman lore. But Chuck Dixon would have to have first dibs. And then I’d have Chuck Dixon read any comic script I produce.

That’s all I have immediate ideas for.

However, I do follow the advice of the late Peter David.

When somebody asks you if you want to write in their series, you say YES.

I think I’ve beaten this topic to death.

Again, feel free to ask me anything in the comments. If you get an email, you can ping me through the comment button at the top.

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Ireland and Connor McGregor

 So, Josh asked:

For those who don’t know: who the flip am I to pontificate upon such a question?

I’ll give you a hint. This was my master’s thesis.

Buy here.

Am I therefore fully up to date on everything? No. But I do know a thing or two.

So, some background before I answer Josh’s question.

Europe has been undergoing some problems. Think of every problem we’ve had in America:

• Out of control immigration

• Corrupt government officials

• “Deep state” / (permanent bureaucracy) BS

• Anarcho-tyranny (Letting felons go free while arresting law-abiding citizens)

And then multiply it to an absurd degree, you have an idea of what’s going on in Europe.

They have a large Pakistani problem. And of course, like all Muslims abroad in the last few years, to goal seems to be a takeover of the countries they’re in.

This includes Ireland.

Now, there is a movement in Ireland against this. Let’s call it Make Ireland Great Again. Or just Irish nationalism. One particular slogan being “Ireland belongs to the Irish.”

But MIGA will do for our purposes. (“What’s up my MIGA?“)

One of the guys encouraging it, is, of all people, a man name Connor McGregor, an MMA fighter and actor. He has already tried once to run for President of Ireland.1 It fell flat, and McGregor’s campaign died in the crib.

He is uncouth, loud, brash, obnoxious … sound like any Orange Man we know?

Personally, I think Trump’s braggadocio is more a public persona he learned from his days working with the WWE. But with McGregor, it seems much more like his base personality. That’s my best guess based on assessments by news junkies I know and trust, I don’t obviously know him personally.

That said, yes, I think McGregor should keep running. Persistence leads to success. There’s enough boots on the ground sentiment to encourage it.

Do I think that McGregor, personally, will be victorious? No. Not really. But the American TEA party movement has morphed into MAGA, and that seems to be doing well in America so far. You can’t reap what you don’t sow.

And the threat of Islam has Orangemen marching with Catholics in Belfast, breaking approximately 400 years of animosity2 in Northern Ireland. If this isn’t an age of miracles, I don’t know what is.

Not to mention, there has been backlash by locals. Certain “migrant havens” have had mysterious issues with fire. Only ten people have been arrested for several arsons, the majority of which are still under investigation, with no arrests.

It’s almost like some people don’t like being invaded by Muslims who go out of their way to be parasites on the welfare system.

At this point, I’m just wondering how many old PIRA guys are still wandering around. Probably not many. Perhaps enough?

As for the next part of the question. A King? I’m not even sure who they would put on the throne.

Seriously, before Henry II decided to take over, Ireland had few moments of island unity. The last high king of Ireland was, who? Brian Boru a thousand years ago?

“A Nation Once Again” makes for a nice song, but calling the Ireland of the post-Roman, or the Early modern period, a nation is straining it. Then again, the modern “nation” as we would see it is truly a modern notion, from perhaps the 1500s onward, if not the 1700s, depending on which historian you ask.3

Therefore, trying to go to a royalty-based system would be an issue, on a few levels. Are we going to dig up Brian Boru and DNA test the population in the hope of an heir? Are we going to do a lottery and just appoint some sorry bugger? And what sort of royalty? A full Tyrant who does the job and then spends most of his time enjoying his own hobbies, or one that’s gelded by a parliament?

While Democracy is starting to show its vulnerabilities,4 I’m not sure royalty is a viable option. There’s a reason why the quote is “Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others.”

Again, feel free to ask me anything in the comments. If you get an email, you can ping me through the comment button at the top.

And please, feel free to buy a book, or leave a book review. Either would be greatly appreciated.

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On AI

 So, as keruru asked…

Ah, everyone’s favorite subject. Artificial Intelligence. Otherwise known as Genuine Stupidity.

Yes. AI is a tool. I have used it a little. Very little. But the limits are hard and fast and oh boy are you going to need to work it over with a crowbar by the time you’re done.

A while back, maybe a year ago, I tried AI to see just how much of a threat it was. I posted about my art results.

It was bad.

When it came to writing, I gave AI a better than average chance. I gave Grok a few pages of a book that I wrote. I told Grok to rewrite it.

The results were gibberish. Literally. It turned a chapter into a page. Who does Grok think I am? James Patterson?

I told Grok to rewrite it some more. It turned the page into a paragraph.

Now it definitely thought I was James Patterson.

Okay. Fine. Let’s give Grok more data. Call it my world bible. After that, I told Grok to write the next scene, after describing what I wanted to happen.

The result was not … entirely… gibberish. But let’s just say that out of 3,000 words, maybe 1,000 was useful.

After that, it was diminishing returns, and they diminished really fast. Do you like endlessly repeated phrases? Enjoy, because after the first entry, that is ALL YOU’RE GOING TO GET. Then I thanked God that I wasn’t trying to use it for real. That would suck, because I’d have to fix it all by hand.

And may the good Lord help you if you’re going to have several characters in several places. AI will just lump them all together in whatever scene you’re writing. You can either edit it so that it makes sense, or you can keep cracking the whip so that AI knows who’s boss, and it keeps rewriting your scene over and over until it gets it right. Or until it’s “good enough” and you are just going to edit the rest yourself.

Either way, you are going to edit it yourself. AI may be good at line editing (more below), but dear Lord, it is bad at line writing.

Frankly, if you use AI to write something, you’re probably better off getting a draft or two, and then rewriting the whole thing yourself. It’ll be faster.

Now, I have given Grok a paragraph and gone “Expand this. No word cap.” Why no word cap? Because again, if it gives you ten pages and you get one out of it, you’re probably ahead of the game.

It gave me some okay results.

If I had used it in an actual novel, I still would have had to edit it down into something that made sense.

Does AI like the em dash? Yes. A little too much. So much so that it will use em dashes when it should be using hole sentences. But I’ve seen worse. It also likes short, sharp, William Shatner sentences, which I found way more distracting.

The most useful thing that I have seen AI used for has been research. You can either ask AI how to blow up a bridge (in your narrowly confined, very specific scenario, which better involve orcs or aliens or something), or you can spend hours trying to figure out hot to become a structural engineer in order to describe it, and a military engineer in order to blow it up.

Granted, you will still, 100%, end up rewriting most if not all of it. Then you should probably find yourself a guy who knows about blowing things up, just so they can make certain that AI didn’t hallucinate something that isn’t there.

Also, DO NOT have AI write the scene. Let it research the scene. Then you can doublecheck it, then you can write the scene yourself. Because yikes. All the problems I listed above? That’s going to come back and bite you.

I’m told that AI can be used to edit things. I tried it. If you use it as an editor, it can catch repeated phrases, words you rely on a little too much. I always knew I leaned on “that” too often. I didn’t know I leaned on “just.” I’m not the most emotive person, so my written character reactions can be repetitive.

But do not try to write with AI, and then edit with AI. Because AI thinks that it is perfect, and everything it has written is perfect. And boy, is that an issue.

Can you use AI for writing? I guess. If you edit faster than you can write, sure, it can be useful as you CHANGE EVERY SINGLE WORD.

Can you use AI for research? Sure. If you are already good at research and know how to refine your search so that AI doesn’t hallucinate results… and that you make certain to ask for footnotes so you’re not getting someone’s fan fiction, or Wikipedia results.

In short, is AI a tool for good authors? Yes. If you’re already a good author, and you have the means and wherewithal to hold AI’s hand every step of the way so that it turns out all right.

After going through all that, I’m not entirely certain if I answered the question asked. So, just for my own clarity…

TLDR: AI is a tool. Mostly a research tool, or prompt mechanism. Will it maintain the quality of an author’s work by itself? Hell no! Will it maintain your quirks? No, but it will give you all new quirks. But frankly, if you use AI to write, you’re going to spend so much time rewriting, I suspect there will be little different by the end of the day.

Unless you just tell the AI to write a book and just post it as-is. Then you’re in trouble.

You know why modern Hollywood writers are scared of AI? Because AI is as soulless as they are. If you know what you’re doing, you can use your best judgement to fix whatever garbage AI gives you. If you don’t know what you’re doing … I don’t know what to tell you.

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EDIT TO ADD

Growing up, I accompanied my parents to medical conferences. To be specific, the American Society for Clinical Laboratory Scientists (ASCLS).

One constant exhibit was a device the size of a dinner table. It was going to do the work of ten MedTechs—it would run all of the lab tests on specimens taken by doctors and nurses.

Every time he saw it, my father asked one question: “And when it breaks down, where are you going to get the ten MedTechs to do the job while the machine is being fixed?”

Apply that to writing.

Meanwhile, AI is supposed to do the work of a dozen programmers. But it makes mistakes … so it’ll make the mistakes of a dozen programmers? And where are you going to get the programmers to review the resulting code and fix it?

And no, the answer isn’t India. I know one of the guys they call in to fix the code from the Indian programmers. In the long run, would be cheaper to just hire real coders, locally, than AI, or importing from abroad.

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I think that’s about all I have for right now.

Again, feel free to ask me anything in the comments. If you get an email, you can ping me through the comment button at the top.

And please, feel free to buy a book, or leave a book review. Either would be greatly appreciated.

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My process

 JDM85 Asked:

I don’t really have a process. Sometimes I get an idea stuck in my head and it won’t let go.

And every book is different.

Love at First Bite started off as my sister’s fan fiction. I took over and it spiraled.

Saint Tommy NYPD started with an idea in college.

• Hell Spawn: If a wonder worker cop, we need a possessed serial killer.

• Death Cult: Clearly, the cult raised the demon

• Infernal Affairs: Clearly, the cult has a backer.

• City of Shadows: I read a lot of Starman and really wanted to use the Shade’s powers

• Crusader: There was a lot of trafficking going around in the news at the time.

• Deus Vult: I read a lot of Gabriel Amorth during my research for this series.

• Coven: I wanted to get witches into the series. This was one attempt. I did better later.

• Hussar: I needed a plot for everyone’s new job. When you read it, you’ll see it.

• Destiny: The villain inspired this one. What was his endgame? Rome.

• Lightbringer: I wanted to go out with a bang. And Hollywood was trending.

• Dark Web: Given how the series ended, I needed to wrap up some loose ends. Also, I wanted to use Silk Road.

• Blue Saint: This needed to end big. And there were a lot of moving parts that needed wrapping up.

After this was Honeymoon from Hell. Honeymoon from Hell came about because I had certain ideas that wouldn’t fit anyone else. With White Ops, it was Babylon 5 fan fiction that spiraled. A lot.

So, first, an idea won’t leave me alone.

Then the characters don’t leave me alone. We won’t go into the shorts that came after I wrapped up Tommy.

Now, the usual follow up question is “discover writer or outliner”?

The answer is just Yes.

Some books fit into outlines. Like Tommy Nolan.

Some characters refused to be outlined. Like Marco and Amanda.

When Blaine Pardoe wanted me to write for his Land & Sea series, I read four books in a matter of days, and I’m trying to keep up with them ever since. But once I had the rules nailed down, I approached it like any other rule book.

Unless John wants me to go into any more detail, that’s all I have for right now.

Again, feel free to ask me anything in the comments. If you get an email, you can ping me through the comment button at the top.

And please, feel free to buy a book, or leave a book review. Either would be greatly appreciated.

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Music Blog: PDQ Bach, Junior

 Don’t worry. I’m still doing the AMAs. But it’s spiraled. What doesn’t? However, there are a few cute bits of business that I’ve tripped over on the internet. And there are a few bits coming up that are time sensitive.

This is something that I’ve enjoyed and would like to share with y’all.

I grew up in my household with the music Professor Peter Schickele, the creator of PDQ Bach—21st of JS Bach’s 20 children. The results? He had more than a few comedy chops under his belt. And his music was pure comedy gold. If you don’t know who he is, this is a good sample.

If that conductor looks familiar? Why, yes, the conductor is John Williams.

It’s long, but if you don’t know him, you may want to try it.

Something shorter is his Panther Dance.

Heh heh heh.

Professor Peter Schickele died in 2024. Like many comedians, he died at the age of 88, because he who laughs, lasts.

Anyway, I bring up Peter Schickele because I tripped over the next generation. And surprise surprise, it’s another music professor who likes to do cute things to music.

I’m not sure which one I like better. I’m only annoyed that he doesn’t do longer clips of music.

For example, there’s “House of the Rising Sun” … as done in Chinese festival style.

And then there’s this party trick. Taking very specific children’s melodies and turning them into spy themes.

If you don’t believe me:

Apparently, this fellow (don’t ask me to give you his name, I’d have to dig) grew up in Japan. Giving us this little masterpiece.

Finally, there is this. And I love it. Heh.

Again, feel free to ask me anything in the comments. If you get an email, you can ping me through the comment button at the top.

And please, feel free to buy a book, or leave a book review. Either would be greatly appreciated.

Buy my books

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