Fight to the Pain

I only just recently noticed how much I've been beating the crap out of my heroes lately. Funny enough, it's because I submitted Set to Kill and noticed how few named characters I put into the hospital.

Okay, granted, I've put an awful lot of people into the morgue, but that's another conversation about my tendencies for mass murder of armed stupid people.

But at the end of It Was Only on Stun! ... I put Ryan in the hospital

At the end of A Pius Man ... one dead, one in the hospital, and two carted off in an ambulance.

A Pius Stand?  Two in the hospital. Sorry, three in the hospital. One impaled on a machete.

We won't even go into what happens to Sean in A Pius Legacy.

And of course, Marco Catalano gets the crap beaten out of him repeatedly.

Guess what? Pain is necessary. Why? Well, in some cases, it's simply because you don't get into a fight without getting a least a little hurt. Hell, you don't get into fist fights and gun battles with a few dozen people without getting at least a little beat up.

I've found that I have been beating up my characters a lot, ever since I started my Krav Maga training a few years ago. Getting the tar beaten out of you for three hours a day, four days a week, will inspire you to rewrite your characters into being winded after every fight. Or at least experience adrenaline fatigue.

It's one of the reason why schwarma in Avengers works so well. Because after fighting an alien army from the other end of the universe and nearly being nuked, you're not that much fun for a few hours. Probably not until you take a nap.

Jim Butcher has a special appreciation of pain, because he has suffered from migraines for many, many years. He's gotten to the point where he must lift weights every day or two, otherwise he gets them with a vengeance. This is one of the reasons why Harry Dresden is always getting his ass kicked, and probably why he had three books of constant headaches that threatened to literally make his brain explode out of his skull.

Robert Howard, the creator of Conan, was another one who appreciated pain and fights. The man actually got into fights a lot. As opposed to someone like Edgar Rice Burroughs, who never got into a fight in his life, and made John Carter of Mars look like Legolas after every fight scene. Legolas at least had a good reason, being an elf and all. In fact, I think they deliberately made it a running gag on the Lord of the Rings film.

Obviously, you can have a problem describing pain all the time, blow by blow. For one thing, that just clutters up the page. And second, it's not realistic. It often may not hurt when you get hit.  In my experience, pain usually comes later, after the impact happens -- maybe even after the inciting incident (fight, accident) happens. I even remember breaking my leg. It didn't hurt that much, but it did when I tried to walk on it. That was fun (read: KILL ME NOW).

But there's a reason my characters slow down by the end of the novel. Being beaten black and blue will do that. There's a reason that the TV show Arrow has our hero needing dire, emergency room level medical attention at least once a season. It hurts.

And frankly, it's going to hurt to be my characters. Bwahaha.

Gone Rabid: Madness Returns

Yesterday, I did a post on "The SWATting of Moira Greyland," and I called it Sad Puppies Bite Back, 2016.

I made a mistake. Several actually.

First of all, I made a lot of assumptions, which I should not do at one in the morning. The major one being that people know what the Hell I'm talking about by "Sad Puppies Bite Back."  I had someone on Twitter ask me what was going on, and I couldn't do exactly explain in 140 characters very well.  And while I can direct them to the tab at the top of the page, it's a long, long story, and a bit of a slog.

And so, the following is presented for everyone who has no bloody idea what the heck I'm talking about when I mention Sad Puppies Bite Back.

Last year, I described Sad Puppies Bite Back as follows:

This is one of those fever dream moments. You know, that bit where you don't know where the ideas came from, or what you were thinking, or even why it happened in your head at all? It's sort of like how I wrote It Was Only on Stun! ....
.... if you look down the Sad Puppy backers, you have "Sarah Hoyt, Evil Yet Beautiful Space Princess" (Yes, as a proper name), Larry Correia has adopted the moniker as the International Lord of Hate. Brad Torgersen .... anyway, we'll get there in a moment.
To be honest, I have no idea how many were self-named, and how many just sort of ... happened ....
Anyway, back in January, I tripped over a funny piece by Vox Day .... which basically boiled down to "The monthly staff meeting of the Evil League of Evil" (in the Lair of the Puppies).
For some reason, ever since I heard about the death threats on the Puppies, and I wondered when Larry Correia or Brad would be SWATted, all I could think of was, well, what would happen?
For those people who are not familiar with the concept of SWATting, it's the practice where someone calls 911, insisting that the target has a gun, is violent and actively threatening to shoot people, in the hopes that the SWAT team knocks down someone's door and possibly gets them killed. Fun, huh? This has been a tactic that's come up in the last year. I was going to call this SWATing Sad Puppies, but I can't see that title going over well.
But just imagine....

From that one inciting incident, I ended up with a 16 part series, including a Guest Blog, and ended up as the #1 Sad Puppy nominee for Best Related, and #2 as Best Fan writer, and I think the comments section of File 770 has a shoot to kill order out on me, though I may be mistaken. Heh.

I said I made several mistakes. The second mistake was calling yesterday's post "Sad Puppies Bite Back 2016." Why? Because on the one hand, Moira Greyland herself said she's more of a Rabid Puppy. She's a Rabid Puppy nominee. And the Rabids have most of the categories.

And, most importantly, from what I've gathered, with the announcement of the Dragon Awards, the Sad Puppies just don't give a crap about the Hugoes anymore. I've had discussions that boil down to "Should Sad Puppies go on to something else," and that's a conversation on another post -- this one, over here.

As for myself, no, I have not gone Rabid, as I said before. I don't have the energy to care.

So, I'm thinking of calling this "Rabid Puppies Bite Back" as we go along. After all, I SWATted Sarah Hoyt and Kate Paulk last year, as well as Jim Butcher. And since there was only major Sad Puppy success in Best Novel, it incites little interest. I have no interest in SWATting Naomi Novik, Leckie or Jemisin, and I suspect Neil Stephenson doesn't care, he's got his Hugos.  

And while I might SWAT Brian Niemeier in the future, there's overlap with the Rabid list there, too.

So I think "Rabid Puppies Bite Back" will be a good title for what's coming next.

Yes. What's next. Because we're going back down the rabbit hole again.

Though I guess from now on [slides on shades] we're going down the Rabid Hole.

YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

#RabidPuppies Bite Back: The SWATting of Moira Greyland

As I said the other day, I was unaware of  who or what a "Moira Greyland" was until I tripped over her in a Facebook group. Even then, I didn't know anything about her aside from that she was nominated for ... a thing.

Then Brian Niemeier explained exactly who she was. Then I was upset.

However, before I learned about that, I explained to someone in the introductory Facebook thread what Puppies had to do with anything by posting my Sad Puppies tab to the thread. Of course, this included Sad Puppies Bite Back, and the SWATting attempts on all the "Evil Legion of Evil" version of the Puppies. They of course, end hilariously.

I will highlight that all of these SWATtings are, to my knowledge, completely and utterly FICTIONAL. It was a combination of the exaggerated, "Evil" caricatures of the Puppies, and the SWATting tactics of the anti-#GamerGate trolls who joined forces with Puppy Kickers last year (see: Arthur Chu). If any of the Puppies have been SWATted, someone let me know.

Madam Greyland also looked at SPBB, and proposed how she should be SWATted.

I resisted the urge. I really did.

Then I was staring at a blank screen, wondering what I was going to write today. And then, frankly Screw it.

CRY HAVOC! AND LET SLIP THE PUPPIES OF WAR!

Texas

Moira "Modred" Greyland 

If you don't know who or why the nickname ... you might be missing something 

[SWAT leader looks around. They only have 15 guys. It technically should be enough, but it is Texas, after all] Okay, the 911 call said she has a weapon in there, it's loaded. and she's ready to us it. Research tells us that she's against transgender bathrooms and gay marriage, so don't worry if the 911 call is inaccurate.

[SWAT nods. They are all hand picked from West Texas, and possibly the only Texas cops who didn't vote for Rick Perry]

[SEAT leader] 3 ... 2.... 1... GO GO GO.

[SWAT takes the door. Musical chimes next to the door ring out with strains of "Modern Major General," SWAT #2 shoots the chimes, changing the tune to "Admiral of the Queen's Navy."  SWAT continues to sweep into the house, slipping on sheet music.]

[SWAT Leader] Keep going. I think I hear something.

[Off screen] You better, I'm practicing on a harp. And I can hear you trashing my house. Come in already.

[SWAT sweeps into a parlor.  In the center is Moira "Modred" Greyland, in a Disney Princess gown, hands still on her harp] May I help you gentlemen?

[SWAT leader is about to open his mouth when he feels something at his feet. He looks down and discovers an adder sliding up his leg. He goes stone still, and slowly looks at his men. They have similar problems with other adders. He says, in a harsh whisper] What's with the snakes?

[Greyland shrugs, and said, terribly polite] My mother's fans are allergic to even the sight of them. Their venom sacs have been removed, I only need them for fright factor. Now, may I help you?

[SWAT leader] We heard about a homophobe with a gun here.

[Moira gently bangs her head against the harp] More of you people? Really. Considering what happened to me, did you not think that I might have an opinion in the matter? Some insight? Seriously, does everyone have the empathy of a sociopath? Nevermind, Hannibal Lecter had more empathy than those twits and ... you can move, you know that, right?

[SWAT team frozen in terror. Moira rolls her eyes.]

Three Days Later

[SWAT team dances through the parlor, singing Gilbert and Sullivan's "A Policeman's Lot is Not a Happy One." Some of them are wearing the adders as necklaces.]

[Moira continues to play, and mutters aloud] i'm going to have to find out if I have any more room in the D'Oyly Carte company. If they update it, they can use the SWAT gear for props.

[Singing continues as the camera pulls away, and we FADE TO BLACK.]

For the record, Moira Greyland's only contribution to this was mentioning the last bit with teaching the cops Gilbert and Sullivan. That was it. The rest is a result of my own deranged mind.

Okay, my logic on the nickname: given the history on her mother's "major work," which was slash fanfic from Hell, anything that would wreck Camelot would be a plus. Why not Morgan Le Fey? Because she was the lead in those crappy novels. Yes, Bradley's major work boiled down to doing Wicked with the Arthur Legend, and it sucked. Imagine Politically Correct Fairy Tales, only meant to be taken seriously.

If Modred was also made a positive force in that slash fanfic from Hell, forgive me. It was such f**king drivel, it made me want to bash my brains against a rock, and I didn't get that far.

As for the adders ... look it up, it's in the Arthur Legend.

EDIT

I hate to break it to you, but the rest of this post has been moved to a different location. Where, you might ask?

Here: To the Collected SAD PUPPIES BITE BACK, in Paperback and Kindle.

The Catholic Geek: Space and Eden

The Catholic Geek: Space and Eden 05/08 by We Built That Network | Science Podcasts:



Tonight on the Catholic Geek, we will look to the stars and in ourselves. First up, at the bottom of the first hour, Karl Gallagher will regale us about the space program, why it's the final frontier, and who's going to make it there first. Keith Korman will talk about his new book, Eden: The Animal's Parable, and look at the Bible as Art or Literature, and how it inspires.

Karl K. Gallagher is a systems engineer, currently performing data analysis for a major aerospace company. In the past he calculated trajectories for a commercial launch rocket start-up, operated satellites as a US Air Force officer, and selected orbits for government and commercial satellites. Karl lives in Saginaw, TX with his family. 

Keith Korman is an American literary agent and novelist. Over the years he has represented many nationally known clients through his family's agency, Raines & Raines. The agency is most noted for representing the following books: The Detective, Deliverance, Die Hard, Cruising, My Dog Skip, How to Eat Fried Worms and Forrest Gump. Korman's novels include Secret Dreams, Banquo's Ghosts (with Rich Lowry), and END TIME -- (Macmillan, August 2015).

Set to Kill, submitted to Castalia House

Yup, that's it. Nothing else here. Move long.

Set to Kill is emailed to Castalia, synopsis, author bio, manuscript, and everything.

Meanwhile, I have an artist working on a cover for the novel, just in case Castalia doesn't have any interest in it.

No, Sad Puppies Bite Back is not yet submitted. I'm slow.

More importantly, I'm sleep deprived. There will be nothing more here.

Here, have some pics of hot women. Why? Because I'm really bloody tired.  Ciao.

Yes, most of these have appeared on the blog before.  Don't make me think at this hour. I'm going to bed. Night.

Labyrinth - Nostalgia Critic

Yes, this is a late post today. But I was barely coherent last night, and got six hours of sleep. So I'm not sure I'm coherent now.

However, this will amuse most people. It is, for the most part, a love letter to something that is bat guano insane.

Also, this is worth is for the opening alone.

Warning, language.

Batman v Superman - Nostalgia Critic

In case you haven't figured out why people dislike the Batman versus Superman film ... well, this could serve as a quick primer.

On Moira Greyland and the Hugos

When George RR Martin proclaimed that the Best Related category was a "toxic swamp," due to Vox Day taking over the category, I wondered what the bloody blue heck his problem was.

Look at this.

I mean, when the short story category has Space Raptor Butt Invasion and gay alien dinosaur erotica, and the other has those? What the heck?

Let's face it: the one about Gene Wolfe shouldn't be a problem. Gene Wolfe is an awesome author. Having been on a panel with him, I can verify that he is an amazing person. Can't see one thing that would be a problem about it.

Jeffro? Funny, it wasn't that much of a problem last year, was it? Not a toxic swamp then, was it?

SJWs Always Lie: Taking down the Thought Police, and Safe Spaces as Rape Room .... yeah. That's interesting. Both are about challenging rampant PC idiocy storming the universe.

Then there's The Story of Moira Greyland.

Who's Moira Greyland? I had no idea. Even when I tripped over her in a Writer group on Facebook, her post was "Wow, I have a Hugo nomination!" I asked her if she knew about Puppies, she did, and it ended with her making suggestions about how to SWAT her in another Sad Puppies Bite Back if I did that .... and I might ...

That was it. No idea who she was, where she came from, nothing. Call it a lack of curiosity, or apathy, or maybe I was busy.

How bad could this be?

Then I read Brian's blog entry.

Yeah. Moira Greyland is the sexually abused, frequently raped daughter of Marion Zimmer Bradley -- author of The Mists of Avalon, worshipped by the PC crowd, because "feminism" -- who enabled (and joined in with) her husband in raping young Moira.

Sooo..... George Rape Rape Martin, do you have a problem with The Story of Moira Greyland because she's taking one of the sacred cows of your "Fandom" and making a stake out of her? Is that your problem? Because frankly, making a rape victim a punching bag because she kicked over the rock that you and people like you hid MZB, her husband, and creatures like them?

So if the entire field is a toxic swamp, you have to wonder about Martin hating a book about Gene Wolfe, who is a brilliant fantasy author (who writes for Tor). Or Martin hating Appendix N this year, but not really last year...but hey, he works for Vox, so of course he hast o hate them.

The anti-PC books, we're not really surprised about.

But The Story of Moira Greyland? Really?

So.

Ahem ... Dear George RR Martin, the only reason to hate this story is because you didn't want to hear the truth about a rapist in the midst of your depraved, vile gathering of corrupt, contemptible people who would let rape happen, turn a blind eye to rape because of politics.  Screw you.

Stronger language is probably illegal. Because trust me, I want to throw rocks. 

XANDRIA - Voyage Of The Fallen (Official Lyric Video) | Napalm Records

How very ... Flying Dutchman.

With some Pirates of the Caribbean thrown in.

I'll be busy the next few days. I may not be here a whole heck of a lot.

So there will probably be music blogs. Though I might do one or two other things as well. Heh heh heh.

The Catholic Geek: John C Wright's Iron Chamber of Memory

The Catholic Geek: John C Wright's Iron Chamber of Memory 05/01 by We Built That Network | Books Podcasts:





Author John C Wright will join host Declan Finn to discuss his latest fantasy novel, Iron Chamber of Memory. With luck we might get him to talk about the Hugos, Sad Puppies, or maybe even a little bit about Rad Puppies. Just a thought.

John C. Wright is a retired attorney, newspaperman and newspaper editor, who was only once on the lam and forced to hide from the police who did not admire his newspaper. In 1984, Graduated from St. John's College in Annapolis, home of the 'Great Books' program. In 1987, he graduated from the College and William and Mary's Law School (going from the third oldest to the second oldest school in continuous use in the United States), and was admitted to the practice of law in three jurisdictions (New York, May 1989; Maryland December 1990; DC January 1994). His law practice was unsuccessful enough to drive him into bankruptcy soon thereafter. His stint as a newspaperman for the St. Mary's Today was more rewarding spiritually, but, alas, also a failure financially. He presently works (successfully) as a writer in Virginia, where he lives in fairy-tale-like happiness with his wife, the authoress L. Jagi Lamplighter, and their four children: Pingping, Orville, Wilbur, and Just Wright.