Fall season 2016 preview

Why, yes, I am off at DragonCon. However, I have some things to look at before I go,

I've already started my look at the fall season, where we discovered that Lethal Weapon, Exorcist, and 24, were all coming back, with only one new show.

And how we have. ... Training Day (CBS)

Guys, when I joked that this was the return of everything? IT WASN'T A SUGGESTION.

On the one hand, I never liked the premise of the original. Yes, I've heard that Denzel was awesome in the film, but... Denzel? Bad guy? Yes, he was also the bad guy in The Siege (sorry, post 9-11, Bruce Willis it the hero of that one), but still, really?

This ... I don't know, I might be able to get behind it. It'll be nice to see Katrina Law as someone other than part of the League of Assassins (she's a side character, honest. She's there). It's also nice to see Bill Paxton as something other than being horribly misused on Agents of SHIELD. Okay, he was gleefully chewing the scenery there ... and looks like he might have a bit of fun here as well.

Here, Paxton seems a little less of a corrupt cop and more of a burnout cop, with a few corrupt tendencies. Though, to be perfectly honest, destroying a drug lab and stealing their money sounds like a reasonable way to deal with the problem.

Pro: It has potential.

Con: Never bought the idea of the original movie.

Pure Genius (CBS)

In APB, the new series from Burn Notice creator Matt Nix, we have "Tony Stark takes over the police."

In this, we have "really boring Stark takes over a hospital."

Yes, I'm sorry, this does look an awful lot like one of those "inspirational shows," that looks about as inspirational as an insipid romance novel.

But then there's Reshma Shetty.

If you don't know Shetty, she's a fun Indian actress who was a star of Royal Pains for its eight seasons. She was charming and witty, and entertaining.

And yes, I'm hoping she's playing the exact same character, just with a different name.

And since she's going from a PA to being a doctor, my guess is that it's likely.

But yes, in general, it looks highly uninspiring. I've read Avon romance novels that had more depth and character.

Yeah, there's really only on Pro here. The rest, I can do without.

TIMELESS (NBC)

Oh God, not another time travel show.

I'm wondering what the bloody blue hell the writers were smoking. Did they binge watch Legends of Tomorrow back to back with Doctor Who and decide that time travel was the in thing?

Okay, yes, I'm being picky, but ... a show of hands, how many people think that this is going to have at least one preachy moment an episode? You know, the same exactly parts of Legends of Tomorrow  that really, really, really drag, and make me want to bash my head against a wall? Like trying to preach at us about the "sexually repressive sixties," even though, you know, IT GENERATED A BABY BOOM?

But, yeah, like with the bad episodes of Legends of Tomorrow, or with the entire series that was Cold Case, I expect that a good chunk of this series is going to be Orwellian rewriting of history to match whatever PC BS narrative is up and running.

I will give this a try in the hopes that it will try something new and creative with it. I won't hold my breath. I would like Goran Visnjic to have a good TV show, since I generally liked him, even on e.r. 

Pro: Goran, and perhaps a good action scene every episode.

Con: "In this episode, we have to make sure over a dozen people DIE on the Hidenberg." Yeah. That's going to be a barrel of laughs. Add in the potential preach factor, and the "I'm drunk, didn't think I'd be called in" cliche, and I'm not holding out a lot of hope.

MacGyver (CBS)

Oh come on. MacGyver? Why ... what ...

No, really? MacGyver?

Granted, in a world where Burn Notice lasted for years, we should have all seen this coming.

Also, he's still not comfortable with guns, but high explosives aren't a problem.

And oh God, the hair. Why? Wasn't the mullet bad enough?

And, while the original series had the concept of spy for hire (seriously, he blew up a Middle East nuclear reactor before the opening credits once), it wasn't quite this explicit.

Also ... where's the music?

Bull (CBS)

Dear Michael Weatherly ... was NCIS so bad that you had to leave it to come to this?

Sigh. On the one hand, the psychology of jury selection and running juries can be fun. Don't believe me, just watch The Runaway Jury. Or one of the Parker episodes of Leverage where it's 12 Angry Men.

This .... I'll give it a shot, though I think I'd rather shoot myself in the head by the end of it. Especially if they make it into multiple PC endings. "Oh, his alibi is he's gay."  Pull that once to get past your politically correct overlords, and I'll understand. Do that every episode, and I'm out of here.

Notorious (ABC)

Oh look, it's Piper Perabo, the blonde who made a CIA television show into a boring soap opera.

With games that slimy lawyers play action.

The description?

“Notorious” is inspired by the true-life stories of famed criminal defense attorney Mark Geragos and cable news producer Wendy Walker, who serve as executive producers. The series is a provocative look at the unique, sexy and dangerous interplay of criminal law and the media

1) Geragos never looked that good.

2) Geragos is also known as the man who only defends the guilty, and does it badly.

Among Geragos' clients are:

Clinton crony Susan McDougal: spent 18 months in federal prison. In his defense, at least Geragos didn't get Susan McDougal the death penalty. Any additional damage Geragos could do to McDougal's case was nullified when Clinton granted her a presidential pardon hours before he left office. As Susan McDougal assured New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd in 1997, Clinton would never pardon her: "He's not going to wake up one day and confer it on me." As to how McDougal knows the way Bill Clinton behaves when he first wakes up in the morning, I'll leave that to your imagination.

Gary Condit: suspected (but never accused!) of involvement in Chandra Levy's disappearance. Condit was never charged with any crime. But he hired Geragos to manage a media campaign to defend his reputation. The next thing Condit knew, he was kissing his 30-year political career goodbye when he lost to his Democratic primary opponent by a whopping 18 points. Or as the kids are saying these days, Condit got "shrummed" by 18 points. The only way Condit could have lost by a bigger margin would be if Bob Shrum had managed his campaign.

Winona Ryder: convicted of grand theft. Instead of having her throw herself on the state's mercy and beg for a plea bargain, Geragos took the case to trial, where the jury had to balance a videotape of Ryder caught in the act of stealing against Geragos' argument that the store security guards were mean to her. (If there was any more to the defense's theory, I missed it.) Geragos boasts that he won a sentence of only community service and probation for Ryder. That might be something to crow about if the prosecutor had asked for anything more than ... community service and probation.

Michael Jackson: fired Geragos almost immediately after hiring him.

Scott Peterson: convicted of first- and second-degree murder 

With him as executive producer (meaning he has direct control over the content of the show) expect this to be Geragos rewriting a lot of history to make him look good.

Seriously, though, Geragos? Has Shonda Rhimes run out of ideas for morally bankrupt bastards, so they had to go to the LA lawyer?

Designated Survivor (ABC)

On the one hand, Jack Bauer is back on television. On the other hand ... the last time Kiefer Sutherland had a season that focused really heavily  on politics, is was season 6 of 24, and none of us want a rehash of that.

And he's the HUD secretary? HUD as president? Oh good God, this has so much potential to suck.

Please, I really want Jack Bauer back. Don't screw this up, ABC....

Oh, who am I kidding, ABC is dedicated to the morally bankrupt and the vile, I think it's their primary audience. If you want to prove me wrong, feel free to point out when all of Shonda Rhimes' shows are off the air.

Pro: President Jack Bauer. And you thought President Jack Ryan was scary. And FBI agent Maggie Q investigating the initial attack, leaving us plenty of 24 like drama to play out.

Con: HUD secretary as President. With Kal Penn ... freaking Kumar ... former Obama employee ... as his aide de camp. We are so f***ing doomed.

Conviction (ABC)

Oh, Hayley Atwell, I really do like you. You have a great smile. Lovely eyes. You're downright beautiful. How the heck did you end up with this mess for a show?

Pro: It's a new concept. We're going to take a former first daughter, who has all the bad habits of Paris Hilton, the Kardashians, and every other child actor train wreck, all blended into one person, and put her in charge of reviewing cases that had come before the DA's office. Add to that Eddie Cahill of CSI: NY (my personal favorite among all of the CSI franchise).

Con: There is no way this would work in real life. Suspension of disbelief? Heck with that. Just turn off your brain entirely just to get into the initial premise. She's a law professor sleeping with multiple students, drug, alcohol and party habits? Once upon a time, you had to be smarter than lawyers to teach law, but this? This.... This.... gah!

Time After Time

Here we have a plot instead of just "Oh look, a time travel show!" Granted, it's HG Wells versus Jack the Ripper, but okay.

I don't know how to feel about this one. Mainly because HG Wells hanging around just to deal with one villain seems a little like a solid movie of the week, not an entire tv show. And no, I don't recognize anyone off hand, but that doesn't really mean anything.

Biggest con, though? In the trailer, he has Jack the Ripper at gunpoint, and doesn't pull the trigger.

When in doubt, YOU SHOOT JACK THE RIPPER. Seriously, dude, otherwise he gets kidnapped by the Vorlons and used as their own personal psychopath.

This season has a lot of mishmash around here. It may all suck. Only time will tell.

And while you're waiting for all this to come out, you can kill some time with my novel Honor at Stake. Heh.

And ... enjoy.