A lot of shows got cancelled this season, and I suspect that they're planning a lot of half-seasons coming up in the fall. Funny thing is that there are several upcoming shows that seem like a lot of shows that were already cancelled. We had high-tech cop shows that are being replaced by ... high-tech cop show. We had two hospital dramas replaced with .... two hospital dramas.
And apparently, some channels are bringing back the summer replacement show.
Let's start this.
Oh look, I saw this film! Only it was called Deep Impact. Maybe Armageddon. I can't recall if it starred Bruce Willis or Frodo.
And, wait a second ... an Earth killer asteroid is going to take out the world, and we only have 6 months to stop it?
This is only up first because it's coming out this month.
As is the next one...
No, I don't know what there are two trailers back to back here, I didn't find one by itself.
Okay, I put this one first because it's coming up first. It's coming out this month, actually. And I must admit, I like Charlaine Harris ... to a point. I think True Blood would have been more interesting without the tons of gratuitous nudity, and if they were closer to the books. I even enjoy Harris' cozy mysteries.
This looks like off the wall strange, and I almost feel like it could be fun. But damn it, I hope they do not have "evil priest #9" as the bad guy. I am really sick of that one.
As long as avoid that, and they don't end up going the X-Men route. The second half kinda starts giving that vibe.
Speaking of X-men...
Sigh ... I'd really like for Amy Acker to have a TV show that lasts a while. Person of Interest was close. And oh, yeah, that young guy from Burn Notice, what's his name. Yeah. I know him. Good to see him get work.
But Bryan Singer? They let Bryan Singer back within a hundred flipping miles of this franchise? Come on, people, haven't we learned our lesson yet? And oh, look, angsty teenage mutant being bullied by the evil normals! That's something we haven't seen since .... the last time I looked at anything X-Men related. Oh, COME ON! The comic books had wars with alien races, wiped out whole solar systems with billions of lives, and they keep coming back to this? The same old tropes. The exact same cliches. Every. Single. Time. Stop it, people. Just stop it.
And oh, look, this time, they managed to have full mutant freak out at a party ... a scene they stole from Stephen King's Carrie. Marking a new low in being completely unoriginal.
Right now, the only thing in this I see that looks even vaguely original is that they're keeping these new mutants together with their original family, and they're going to keep the family together as they go on the run. And, if I hear the trailer correctly, they're going to have a Logan's Run element to it, where the mutant hunter is protecting his own mutant children.
I'm going to use the dreaded phrase "So, if they're smart," what they'll do is focus on the non-mutant adults as they go on the run. Hopefully, the mutant powers of the kids won't be in every single episode as a deus ex machina. I'll try not to hold my breath.
Oh look, it's that show that ABC spun off of that other show they'll never cancel, despite them having ratings so far in the toilet that even the CW would cancel them.
Yes, that's right, The Humans, the idea that Marvel used in Agents of Stupid as an X-men knockoff for two seasons. They did it so poorly that it killed the movie they were going to do. That's right, even though the TV shows have little to no connection to the MCU, and is basically glorified fan fiction, Agents of Stupid used the Inhumans so poorly that they tanked the planned movie. That's how bad it was.
And this? What is this? Game of Thrones, Marvel style? I thought that was going to be part of the Black Panther film, but now they're going to do it on the moon. Yes, the moon.
Sigh. You know, I was never a fan of the Inhumans, mostly because I barely knew they existed. But Marvel Studios managed to make an adequate film out of freaking Ant Man, fer crying out loud. So you know that everything Agents of SHIELD did and went "Crap. They sunk the movie before it even began. Can we make it a TV show?"
Sigh. And Ken Leung gave up his character on The Night Shift for this series? Damn it.
This feels like every other TV show I've watched in the past five years. A little bit of the machine from Person of Interest. A little bit of The Mentalist -- man loses family and seeks justice. A little bit of APB.... okay, maybe a lot of that. Oh, yeah, and it's San Francisco, so add some Watch Dogs 2.
Oh, yeah, and the line "Crowd sourcing is sifting through the dirt until you find the gold" .... tell me that isn't a line from Lenny Briscoe on 10 years of Law and Order, on police work in general?
Sigh. I can't tell if the idea if weaponizing the selfie generation is brilliant or terrifying.
But I like Richard T Jones. I'd like this to not suck. I guess we'll see.
I think this is simply called Galaxy Quest, the TV show. I could be mistaken.
Maybe more like A Ship Called Francis.
The CW tends towards the young good looking crowd, so having an older lead is interesting. And trending older is unexpected.
But my God, I hate the costume at the 1:40 mark. It looks tacky, and it looks more like Iron Man than anything else.
I'll have to see what they do with it. I'm expecting them to botch it like they have almost every other show thus far. I mean, they've screwed up The Flash, and Legends of Tomorrow, and Supergirl. I'm just looking for how much they can screw the pooch on this one.
Or as John Ringo would say, "Arf! Arf!"
All joking aside, I like David Boreanaz. I thought he was terribly misused on Bones, and I'm happy he has work. Does he bathe in the blood of innocents? Because Buffy was 20 years ago. Isn't he a little old for this s***?
But really? We're going to open with the psychologist scene from the opening of Sherlock?
I'll give them points for not making it look like the married life is completely doomed from episode one, but okay. My only problem is, well, hmm, "Hey, we're going to focus on a SpecOps team as well as their family life?" I think I saw this series already, it was called The Unit, also on CBS, and written by David Mamet.
And I like that the -- I presume -- CIA brunette is not "heartless cur #5."
This feels like a knockoff of a knockoff, but I'll give it a few episodes.
What? Did we get a run on SpecOps shows this season? Did Hollywood suddenly start reading Baen? Is Richard Marchinko suddenly popular again? How did we end up with two of these shows premiering the same season? Yes, I know, I shouldn't be complaining. But I've been burned by too many of these shows too often. Either they suck, or they get cancelled when they start getting good.
Problem one: "Keep your head on a swivel, anyone could be a hostile"? It's a SpecOps team in the middle of the sandbox, and they felt the need to actually have to say that?
I suppose I should be happy that there's a show that has Middle Eastern bad guys that isn't called 24... and then they inserted the obligatory Islamic team mate. Because PC...
Am I unduly cynical?
On the one hand, I really want to like this show. The 2005 film S.W.A.T. was at least entertaining. It wasn't a great film. It was a little unbalanced, plot-wise. But hey, it a least had the original TV theme. Even this trailer uses the theme.
And I like Shemar Moore. I really do. I liked him on Criminal Minds. He was smooth, and charismatic.
But, by God, a S.W.A.T. team doing community relations? What? Really? Did I miss a memo? I thought that if a S.W.A.T. team wasn't training to kick ass, take names, break things and kill people, they were actually kicking ass, taking names, breaking things and killing people.
Sigh. This is going to be Social Justice, Black Lives Matter, "Hands Up Don't Shoot" agit-prop, isn't it? Isn't it? Sigh. Damn it.
And, oh, by the way, how many cliches can they cram into the first episode? 1) The black cop from the bad neighborhood. 2) Community policing, "we need to treat them like family." 3) The #2 replaces the old commander because of a mistake. At least two or three others.
On the other hand, one of the people attached to this project is Justin Lin, who is a veteran of Star Trek: Beyond and the Fast and Furious films. This is not a name I expect to be attached to soft and squishy, PC BS franchises.
So, which will win out? The action? The cliches? The potential for PC BS? I suspect the truth will be somewhere in between.
Based off of the Caleb Carr novel of the same name, this is basically Criminal Minds, 1890s.
Only darker. Yes. This is going to be really flipping dark.
Also, Dakota Fanning is an adult now. I'm not entirely certain if she's grown up well, or just strangely.
A magician joining with cops to solve crimes? Uh huh.
Remember when I mentioned The Mentalist earlier? Yeah. Check that. How's this for a Mentalist rip-off. Okay, yeah, it's almost more of a knock off of FX -- the films or the TV show, pick one. With a dynamic that feels very much like Castle... then again, everyone wanted to be Castle for a while, it's the only way to have a police procedural feel more like Diagnosis Murder or Murder, She Wrote while still having an official police presence make it feel a little legit.
The positive spin on this is that they seem to be bringing in the magicians bit as a way of slipping in elements of Mission Impossible as well. We'll see how it goes.
I can't tell what this show wants to be. Is it evil doctor show? Is it rogue doctor show? Does this want to be House, MASH, or Saint Elsewhere?
Sigh. And it has Emily van Camp (Revenge, The Winter Soldier), and I really want her to have a career.
I like how Pure Genius dies, and we get not one, but two medical shows the very next season. The second one being...
Yeah. This one actually is from the people who brought you House. And, oh, look, we're going for the wounded healer bit. Again. Because that's the only thing these people seem to know how to do. Then again, House lasted at least three years past its expiration date, so I can't see how they'd be discouraged from doing the exact same thing all over again.
But hey, it's got Hill Harper from CSI: NY, and Toby from The West Wing. So nice that they found work.
On the one hand ... autism savant surgeon? Doogie Howser anyone? Where's Neil Patrick Harris?
On the other hand: Difficulty in communicating. Unable to relate to people... "Does it sound like I'm describing a surgeon?" Um ... yes. I thought those were qualifications.
But I can't get a read on this show from the trailer. Do they want to be a medical drama, or one of those heartfelt, touchy feely shows? Because if it's the latter, I won't be getting through the first episode before wanting to hurt myself or others.
Heiroglyph -- Egyptian vampires? John Rhys Davies? Images from Assassin's Creed? No. Thanks, but no thanks. Next.
9JKL .... look it up if you must. But Good got, what did Mark Feuerstein and Elliot Gould do to deserve this?
For the People: It's a Shonda Rhimes thing. Kill it with fire.
I think we're done for now.
Remember: Illegitimi non carborundum
And apparently, some channels are bringing back the summer replacement show.
Let's start this.
Salvation (CBS)
Oh look, I saw this film! Only it was called Deep Impact. Maybe Armageddon. I can't recall if it starred Bruce Willis or Frodo.
And, wait a second ... an Earth killer asteroid is going to take out the world, and we only have 6 months to stop it?
This is only up first because it's coming out this month.
As is the next one...
Midnight, Texas (NBC)
No, I don't know what there are two trailers back to back here, I didn't find one by itself.
Okay, I put this one first because it's coming up first. It's coming out this month, actually. And I must admit, I like Charlaine Harris ... to a point. I think True Blood would have been more interesting without the tons of gratuitous nudity, and if they were closer to the books. I even enjoy Harris' cozy mysteries.
This looks like off the wall strange, and I almost feel like it could be fun. But damn it, I hope they do not have "evil priest #9" as the bad guy. I am really sick of that one.
As long as avoid that, and they don't end up going the X-Men route. The second half kinda starts giving that vibe.
Speaking of X-men...
X-Men The Gifted (FOX)
Sigh ... I'd really like for Amy Acker to have a TV show that lasts a while. Person of Interest was close. And oh, yeah, that young guy from Burn Notice, what's his name. Yeah. I know him. Good to see him get work.
But Bryan Singer? They let Bryan Singer back within a hundred flipping miles of this franchise? Come on, people, haven't we learned our lesson yet? And oh, look, angsty teenage mutant being bullied by the evil normals! That's something we haven't seen since .... the last time I looked at anything X-Men related. Oh, COME ON! The comic books had wars with alien races, wiped out whole solar systems with billions of lives, and they keep coming back to this? The same old tropes. The exact same cliches. Every. Single. Time. Stop it, people. Just stop it.
And oh, look, this time, they managed to have full mutant freak out at a party ... a scene they stole from Stephen King's Carrie. Marking a new low in being completely unoriginal.
Right now, the only thing in this I see that looks even vaguely original is that they're keeping these new mutants together with their original family, and they're going to keep the family together as they go on the run. And, if I hear the trailer correctly, they're going to have a Logan's Run element to it, where the mutant hunter is protecting his own mutant children.
I'm going to use the dreaded phrase "So, if they're smart," what they'll do is focus on the non-mutant adults as they go on the run. Hopefully, the mutant powers of the kids won't be in every single episode as a deus ex machina. I'll try not to hold my breath.
Inhumans (ABC)
Oh look, it's that show that ABC spun off of that other show they'll never cancel, despite them having ratings so far in the toilet that even the CW would cancel them.
Yes, that's right, The Humans, the idea that Marvel used in Agents of Stupid as an X-men knockoff for two seasons. They did it so poorly that it killed the movie they were going to do. That's right, even though the TV shows have little to no connection to the MCU, and is basically glorified fan fiction, Agents of Stupid used the Inhumans so poorly that they tanked the planned movie. That's how bad it was.
And this? What is this? Game of Thrones, Marvel style? I thought that was going to be part of the Black Panther film, but now they're going to do it on the moon. Yes, the moon.
Sigh. You know, I was never a fan of the Inhumans, mostly because I barely knew they existed. But Marvel Studios managed to make an adequate film out of freaking Ant Man, fer crying out loud. So you know that everything Agents of SHIELD did and went "Crap. They sunk the movie before it even began. Can we make it a TV show?"
Sigh. And Ken Leung gave up his character on The Night Shift for this series? Damn it.
Wisdom of the Crowd
This feels like every other TV show I've watched in the past five years. A little bit of the machine from Person of Interest. A little bit of The Mentalist -- man loses family and seeks justice. A little bit of APB.... okay, maybe a lot of that. Oh, yeah, and it's San Francisco, so add some Watch Dogs 2.
Oh, yeah, and the line "Crowd sourcing is sifting through the dirt until you find the gold" .... tell me that isn't a line from Lenny Briscoe on 10 years of Law and Order, on police work in general?
Sigh. I can't tell if the idea if weaponizing the selfie generation is brilliant or terrifying.
But I like Richard T Jones. I'd like this to not suck. I guess we'll see.
The Orville (Fox)
I think this is simply called Galaxy Quest, the TV show. I could be mistaken.
Maybe more like A Ship Called Francis.
Black Lightning (CW)
The CW tends towards the young good looking crowd, so having an older lead is interesting. And trending older is unexpected.
But my God, I hate the costume at the 1:40 mark. It looks tacky, and it looks more like Iron Man than anything else.
I'll have to see what they do with it. I'm expecting them to botch it like they have almost every other show thus far. I mean, they've screwed up The Flash, and Legends of Tomorrow, and Supergirl. I'm just looking for how much they can screw the pooch on this one.
SEAL Team (CBS)
Or as John Ringo would say, "Arf! Arf!"
All joking aside, I like David Boreanaz. I thought he was terribly misused on Bones, and I'm happy he has work. Does he bathe in the blood of innocents? Because Buffy was 20 years ago. Isn't he a little old for this s***?
But really? We're going to open with the psychologist scene from the opening of Sherlock?
I'll give them points for not making it look like the married life is completely doomed from episode one, but okay. My only problem is, well, hmm, "Hey, we're going to focus on a SpecOps team as well as their family life?" I think I saw this series already, it was called The Unit, also on CBS, and written by David Mamet.
And I like that the -- I presume -- CIA brunette is not "heartless cur #5."
This feels like a knockoff of a knockoff, but I'll give it a few episodes.
The Brave (NBC)
What? Did we get a run on SpecOps shows this season? Did Hollywood suddenly start reading Baen? Is Richard Marchinko suddenly popular again? How did we end up with two of these shows premiering the same season? Yes, I know, I shouldn't be complaining. But I've been burned by too many of these shows too often. Either they suck, or they get cancelled when they start getting good.
Problem one: "Keep your head on a swivel, anyone could be a hostile"? It's a SpecOps team in the middle of the sandbox, and they felt the need to actually have to say that?
I suppose I should be happy that there's a show that has Middle Eastern bad guys that isn't called 24... and then they inserted the obligatory Islamic team mate. Because PC...
Am I unduly cynical?
S.W.A.T. (CBS)
On the one hand, I really want to like this show. The 2005 film S.W.A.T. was at least entertaining. It wasn't a great film. It was a little unbalanced, plot-wise. But hey, it a least had the original TV theme. Even this trailer uses the theme.
And I like Shemar Moore. I really do. I liked him on Criminal Minds. He was smooth, and charismatic.
But, by God, a S.W.A.T. team doing community relations? What? Really? Did I miss a memo? I thought that if a S.W.A.T. team wasn't training to kick ass, take names, break things and kill people, they were actually kicking ass, taking names, breaking things and killing people.
Sigh. This is going to be Social Justice, Black Lives Matter, "Hands Up Don't Shoot" agit-prop, isn't it? Isn't it? Sigh. Damn it.
And, oh, by the way, how many cliches can they cram into the first episode? 1) The black cop from the bad neighborhood. 2) Community policing, "we need to treat them like family." 3) The #2 replaces the old commander because of a mistake. At least two or three others.
On the other hand, one of the people attached to this project is Justin Lin, who is a veteran of Star Trek: Beyond and the Fast and Furious films. This is not a name I expect to be attached to soft and squishy, PC BS franchises.
So, which will win out? The action? The cliches? The potential for PC BS? I suspect the truth will be somewhere in between.
The Alienist (TNT)
Based off of the Caleb Carr novel of the same name, this is basically Criminal Minds, 1890s.
Only darker. Yes. This is going to be really flipping dark.
Also, Dakota Fanning is an adult now. I'm not entirely certain if she's grown up well, or just strangely.
Deception (ABC)
A magician joining with cops to solve crimes? Uh huh.
Remember when I mentioned The Mentalist earlier? Yeah. Check that. How's this for a Mentalist rip-off. Okay, yeah, it's almost more of a knock off of FX -- the films or the TV show, pick one. With a dynamic that feels very much like Castle... then again, everyone wanted to be Castle for a while, it's the only way to have a police procedural feel more like Diagnosis Murder or Murder, She Wrote while still having an official police presence make it feel a little legit.
The positive spin on this is that they seem to be bringing in the magicians bit as a way of slipping in elements of Mission Impossible as well. We'll see how it goes.
The Resident (Fox)
I can't tell what this show wants to be. Is it evil doctor show? Is it rogue doctor show? Does this want to be House, MASH, or Saint Elsewhere?
Sigh. And it has Emily van Camp (Revenge, The Winter Soldier), and I really want her to have a career.
I like how Pure Genius dies, and we get not one, but two medical shows the very next season. The second one being...
The Good Doctor (ABC)
Yeah. This one actually is from the people who brought you House. And, oh, look, we're going for the wounded healer bit. Again. Because that's the only thing these people seem to know how to do. Then again, House lasted at least three years past its expiration date, so I can't see how they'd be discouraged from doing the exact same thing all over again.
But hey, it's got Hill Harper from CSI: NY, and Toby from The West Wing. So nice that they found work.
On the one hand ... autism savant surgeon? Doogie Howser anyone? Where's Neil Patrick Harris?
On the other hand: Difficulty in communicating. Unable to relate to people... "Does it sound like I'm describing a surgeon?" Um ... yes. I thought those were qualifications.
But I can't get a read on this show from the trailer. Do they want to be a medical drama, or one of those heartfelt, touchy feely shows? Because if it's the latter, I won't be getting through the first episode before wanting to hurt myself or others.
Losers
Heiroglyph -- Egyptian vampires? John Rhys Davies? Images from Assassin's Creed? No. Thanks, but no thanks. Next.
9JKL .... look it up if you must. But Good got, what did Mark Feuerstein and Elliot Gould do to deserve this?
For the People: It's a Shonda Rhimes thing. Kill it with fire.
I think we're done for now.
Remember: Illegitimi non carborundum
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The Love at First Bite series.
It can't be A Ship Called FRANCIS, they're missing a Chaplain. "Tester, spare us from your tests..."
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