Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Films in 2018 I Might Actually want to see in the theater

I don't do films in the theater. I don't. Generally, it's not worth the time or the energy.

For once, Hollywood has provided an entire slate of films that I may give a damn about.


Black Panther 
February 16, 2018

From the trailer. Tell me this doesn't remind you of Simba
talking to the ghost of Mufasa
I've talked about this before, and you can see the trailer here. The only thing that really puts me off of this is the hip-hop in the trailer music. This is Africa, not America, they have their own music. Perhaps someone should use it. Hell, I don't care if you got Hans Zimmer and told him to do what he did for The Lion King, only for a Marvel film. He could get away with it -- he did some interesting African tones for Lion King, and they're both Disney properties. Seriously, someone, get on it.


Death Wish
March 2, 2018




So, this is ... odd. I have no idea what to do with this one. 

Though I might wind up just getting this in DVD. It looks interesting. 



Red Sparrow
March 2, 2018

This is problematic, because I read the novel by Jason Matthews. The really, really awesome novel, that makes John Le Carre look like a pansy. It starts with a Russian woman who has been drafted to be a professional honey trap artist, and it turns into a spiraling maze of traitors and defectors and spies that make this particular game at least a six sided one, with a few more adjacent sides, just for fun. The original novel was written around 2012, so it wasn't set in the current narrative around Russia-- in fact, Matthews novel flew in the face of the prevailing wisdom of the politirati that stated that Russia wasn't a threat. So I was looking forward to it....

Then Jennifer Lawrence opened her mouth about her last film, mother!, and I became worried that she'd try to turn her next project, Red Sparrow, into a political diatribe.

Then I got this trailer.... which needs work, people. Lots of work. 

As a fan of the novel, I have to say, pretty please, DON'T. SCREW. THIS. UP.


Though I wonder if Jennifer Lawrence got this job because of her hacked cell phone selfies.

Tomb Raider
March 16, 2018

I've been looking forward to this ever since I played the video game release. The new game was awesome, with a solid character arc from simpering wuss to extreme badass.


The trailer looks like the film took a concrete badguy from the second game, Rise of the Tomb Raider, to the setting from the first Tomb Raider game from the rebooted game franchise. And this is a good thing. I like the look of both the setting and the actress (play the game, you'll see what I mean). Heck, I like the actress' attitude towards stunt work.

Though I'm a little curious about why this is being released in March. Are they trying to keep this away from the big releases? Or are summer blockbusters now being released all over the calendar.

Pacific Rim: Uprising
March 23, 2018

The first movie was poorly advertised and its reception was so blah that a sequel was in doubt. But I seriously recommend it. I only saw the first Pacific Rim because it was remaindered on DVD, and I could spare the five bucks.

This? This one I'm thinking of seeing in the theater. Because giant robots.


Avengers: Infinity War
May 4, 2018

I think I covered my reaction to this one here.

Though, please, if someone could make it look like the Thanos of Avengers ONE, I'll be happy.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - June 22, 2018

I had been interested in this one, since the first one was just fun.

Then I saw the trailer.


No. No no no. The Lost World film was "let's defend the poor helpless DINOSAURS from the big evil corporation." They've made this film "let's defend the poor helpless DINOSAURS from the big evil VOLCANO."

... You know guys, Yellowstone national park is settled on a great big seismic catastrophe waiting to happen because, well, if it's gonna go, we'll have plenty of warning, and, well, everyone within a few hundred miles will be nuked anyway, so why not?

Choosing to place your dinosaur theme park on an unstable island? Who does that?

Not to mention .... um, guys, you had a sequel all set up with BD Wong as the villain after he was packed off in the first film. What the hell is your problem? Did you not read your own notes?

Ant-Man and the Wasp
July 6, 2018

While I'm not a fan of the first Ant-Man, Paul Rudd had some nice moments in Civil War. Whether or not I see this one in theaters is solely contingent of what they have of a plot this time.

Mission: Impossible 6
July 27, 2018

I quite enjoyed Rogue Nation and Ghost Protocol. This one threatens to be a follow up to those. Who knows, we might have a complete trilogy by the time we're done.


The Meg
August 10, 2018

I read the original Steve Alten novel Meg about twenty years ago. The premise was simple: deep in the Marianas trench, it's possible that prehistoric aquatic life might still exist.

Enter the Meg, short for "Megalodon," an eighty-foot shark that eats anything that comes in its path, including a submarine, and a boat filled with green peace idiots trying to keep the shark from being killed. The first book was short, but awesome. Don't read the others, but the first book was awesome.

... On the other hand... It's being adapted by Jon Turteltaub, of the National Treasure films and The SOrcerer's Apprentice, not the tone I expected from Meg. We needed Jaws, not the director of lighthearted comedies and feel-good inspirational films.

Also, the hero of the novel was a scientist who studies aquatic life. What they got was ... Jason Statham as a rescue diver, trying to save a stranded submarine from the shark.

Really, people? Meg was optioned as a film 20 years ago, before the book was even on the shelves. The reviewers called it Jurassic Shark. The best that you idiots could do was make it into a SYFY CHANNEL MOVIE? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS....

Yes, I know I stated I might see this in the theater, but the more I look at this stuff, the more I wonder why I was so hyped in the first place.


Possible, but perhaps on DVD

There are also some films coming out next year that I might end up seeing, but not in theaters. The following are some of them. These are interesting, but not the big block busters where I need to see everything on the big screen to appreciate it.

Also, in at least one case, it might suck.

12 Strong
January 19, 2018


I don't think I need to see this in theaters. But I'm going to definitely shoot for it on DVD.

Please Stand By
January 26, 2018

I generally don't do inspirational films. But this seems inoffensive. Though nothing in the trailer justifies the cost of movie tickets.


15:17 to Paris
February 9, 2018

This is a movie about the Paris train attack of a few years ago. Normally, I would expect Hollywood to screw this up so royally, I wouldn't be able to put it into words.

But this is directed by Clint Eastwood. The stars of the film are playing themselves. I don't think it gets much more accurate than that.





How The Grinch Stole Christmas
November 9, 2018

Universal Pictures is rebooting the animated Grinch. Why is this even being considered, considering the travesty they've made of the story already?

Benedict Cumberbatch is replacing Boris Karloff. This might help.

On the other hand ... it's a full movie? The original was only 30 minutes wrong for a really good reason. At best, I might give it a DVD release.

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