This blog tracks the epic of kick-starting a whole writing career, with spies and thrillers, now saints and vampires. I cover the creative process, stuff that blows up, history, philosophy, and theology. If you like any or all of the above, you'll like this one. We talk about comic books, movies, music, and writing. Usually, all at the same time.
[Note: All Amazon links here are associate links. Which means nothing to you, but it means Declan Finn gets a few pennies for the sale. Thank you.]
The Pius Trilogy, at long last, is coming to a close. I'm almost done. The stories and the book of history is coming next, and then the rerelease is closed up.
You know how hard it was to say goodbye to this thing the last time I did this?
I've actually been rather busy going through a lot of different things, so I haven't really be able to dwell on this thing finally being put to bed.
I wrote the original one-volume A Pius Man novel in 2004, during a slow season in my graduate studies -- I had written my Master's Thesis, For all their Wars are Merry, during the winter break. This original volume had guest appearances from Merle Kraft before he met vampires, Marco or Amanda. It was before Middle Earth's Most Wanted Elvin Assassinhad grown into a character and took over whole novels.
And now, 14 years later, I can finally say goodbye.
The Pius Trilogy is the second longest running project that has consumed my life. I was 22 when I wrote it, and I'm just short of turning 36. The only other thing that has eaten up even more of my life is my space opera project, which I started when I was 16. That's something I hope to be rid of by the end of next year.
So, there is some emotion when I dwell on the conclusion of this project for too long.
It's not even so much a matter of never playing with the characters ever again. I have already done more horrible things to Sean A.P. Ryan in Set to Kill, a sequel to It Was Only on Stun! and a bit of an epilogue to The Pius Trilogy. And several of the characters are already slated to come back in other work .... in part because I had written Pius as a capstone to a dozen other novels I had written, using secondary characters as the leads. Obviously, those will have to be rewritten. But I will be playing in this sandbox again. I'm not done with these people yet. They all have a long road ahead of them.
But this will be the last time I relive (and rewrite) the deaths, some of the more dramatic moments. The Pope's kidnapping. The final stand of the Vatican against the forces of darkness. The people I've buried. The moment when I finally, at long last, put a stake through the heart of this one son of a bastard who JUST. WOULDN'T. DIE!
I think that the first time I really ever answered the question "What advice do you have for people who want to be writers?" was on Geek Gab, with Brian Niemeier and Daddy Warpig. I don't remember exactly what I said, but my answer is still the same.
If you want to be a writer? DON'T. You have no idea what you're getting into. You really don't. Getting emotionally entangled with the voices in your head? Staying awake because of the plots and action burning up your brain until you write them down? You don't know what it's like until you get into it. But if you have to be a writer, go for it, all in. Don't even blink.
But then you have a project that eats up your life, with characters you don't want to kill, but you know must die, because they won't stop until they pay with their last breath, and they're at war with beasts who won't stop until one of them is dead. You'd think it would be easy, considering they don't exist except on paper and in the head of the author .... but no, the author has all of the biographies of everyone s/he kills. You know how they like their drinks, and their favorite songs. You know that this character grew up wanting to avenge the death of his father at the hands of the Red Brigade. You know that this other character had a girlfriend who died during the Irish Troubles, and could never love again because everything he had left went to The Cause. You know that the other one is actually a lesbian who doesn't even want to BE in this Charlie Foxtrot, but she's fully aware that the Vatican is the right team to be on, even if this all ends in fire.
And no, most of that isn't even on the page for your reader, but YOU know it, because these people are yours.
So, yeah. That's the end of The Pius Trilogy. No more battles in the Vatican. No more warring on the streets of Rome. I can finally say goodbye to the story of Pope Pius XII, the Battle of Rome, and this particular battle against the army of darkness...Next time, I'll remember to bring the chainsaw.
In writer parlance, "Kill your darlings" refers to a writer needing to take an ax to something that the writer really REALLY likes, but doesn't ultimately work in the book itself. It can be anything from a self-indulgence mocking of someone in real life, to "that fight scene was NIFTY"....but why was it there? Did it really serve a purpose? No? So sorry, but your cherised piece of the word count is now DEAD.
In this case, I've just pulled the plug on The Pius Trilogy.
You know how hard that is? Let me tell you, it's not a good feeling inside to just yank everything you've poured excessive amounts of time and energy into. But it's in the certainty that Silver Empire can only improve both the quality of the work, as well as the sales.
I still had the bottom fall out of my stomach. This of course wasn't helped by the fact that I removed SEVEN BOOKS: A Pius Man, A Pius Legacy, A Pius Stand, Pius Origins, Pius Holidays, Pius Tales, and Pius History.
I was actually afraid that I had unpublished one of the other novels as well.
So, yes, the Pius serious is dead.
But, damned if it didn't go out on a high note.
This was my author rank for the last day of The Pius Trilogy.
Welcome to the power of Instapundit.
.....
Anyway, I'll be on the Superversive Roundtable this Saturday, I'll have Jagi Lamplighter on Sunday on my show, and Monday will be the debut of Set To Kill, and Tuesday will be my annual Black Friday list.
The Pius books are gone. Some of them are dead. The rest will be back.
Until then, let's get to work.
Set To Kill is out on Monday. It is awesome. It will be badass. If you liked It Was Only On Stun!, you're going to love this. If you hate Stun!, you're probably going to at least enjoy this one. Why? Because it was freaking awesome.
Preorder Set To Kill now, read it Monday, review it on Tuesday, order it for your nearest and dearest on Wednesday, and avoid the rush of Black Friday. Because it is just that awesome, and if you're a long time reader, yes, this IS the first time I've said that about my book.
Last reminder, this is the LAST DAY to buy anything Pius on Amazon. Or anywhere within my control. Silver Empire Publishing allowed me two more weeks of letting The Pius Trilogy online before they take over.
Pius Holidays blows up even more stuff with Christmas lights and the accompanying music. ($.99)
And Pius Tales gives you all that and more. ($.99 for this last day)
If you're new here, there are the usual suspects.
A Pius Man: A Holy Thriller -- It's surprisingly well reviewed, no one hates it (yet, give me time), where I take the war to Dan Brown, and every other nimrod who thinks they can write bad history in a thriller and get away with it.
A Pius Legacy: A Political Thriller -- The villains who survived A Pius Man have decided that some payback is involved. Step one? Kidnap the Pope. Then the fun really starts. Surprisingly, this one had better reviews than the first.... also fewer. Anyway, please buy the book already. Thank you.
A Pius Stand: A Global Thriller: The end of the trilogy. Saving the Pope has consequences. And army. A war. And no quarter given. It's time to finish the fight.
And the funniest thing of all? Pius History isn't even a year old yet, and its time is up (It, too, is $.99 for the last day.)
So, time to say goodbye to The Pius Trilogy.
Well, for you anyway, I'm going to spend the next year working on the edits with Silver Empire.
While we're here-- and if you haven't seen this blog post in time -- you might as well consider buying Set to Kill, which takes place after A Pius Stand.
As my regular readers know I'm writing this new book called Set to Kill: a murder mystery that takes place at "WyvernCon" in Atlanta.
Yes, WyvernCon. Because I'm subtle.
I have two groups at WyvernCon, the Tearful Puppies (the Hydrophobic Puppies didn't show up), and their Puppy Punters ("Dog Catchers" didn't convey my meaning).
It's been a while since I talked about Set to Kill, but I thought that now might be a good time to go into who's who in the world of Set to Kill.
You might remember the description is along the lines of
After the events of "A Pius Stand," Sean A.P. Ryan has spent the last year in Italy, keeping his head down and his mouth shut. But now, he has been brought out of his exile for one big job: security at the world's largest science fiction convention, WyvernCon. His mission? To keep the peace between two factions warring over the "coveted" Hubble Awards -- the Tearful Puppies and the Puppy Punters. Even though Sean has a bad feeling about it, he takes the job, expecting a relatively quiet weekend. Unfortunately, Sean soon learns that he has a bounty on his head. Every bounty hunter and mercenary within shouting distance of the internet is descending on the convention, each of them set on killing him. And his enemies list is long enough to cover half the free world, and most of the world still in chains. If that wasn't bad enough, the first casualties of the War of the Puppies happen at the convention. Could it have been one of the Puppies, who are all armed and dangerous? Or could it have been one of the Punters, who claim pacifist tendencies, and fanatical devotion to their cause? With the bodies piling up, and the attacks becoming more frequent, Sean has to discover who wants him dead, and who the true Puppy killer is, before all of WyvernCon goes down in flames.
For the record, The Pius Trilogy is NOT essential to following Set to Kill, though you might want to have it, just in case. Just saying. Please remember that the entire Pius Trilogy will no longer be there after this Friday, November 18, 2016, due to my deal with the publisher.
Now, just so you have a better sense of the setup with Set to Kill, I want to discuss some of the cast ... or, more precisely, the suspects.
I should note now that there are NO SIMILARITIES between the following characters and real life people. None. At all. Ever. Honest. Would I lie?
Tearful Puppies include ....
Gary Castelo, intergalactic lord of rage / dark lord of the fisk.
Described as being around seven feet tall, he's really only 6'5". He uses a tetsubo like a walking stick.
Don't know what a tetsubo looks like?
Well, here's a photo of a random person on Google Image search holding a tetsubo.
What's that you say? That's Larry Correia holding a tetsubo? Why, yes, I do believe you're right. Isn't that funny.
Needless to say, Gary Castelo, intergalactic lord of rage / dark lord of the fisk, has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with Larry Correia ... International Lord of Hate...Nothing at all. It's a complete and utter coincidence.
Rachel Hartley, Vile yet Glamorous Fairy Princess
Sturdily built, with more of an oval face. She even had dimples. She was a few pounds on the heavy side, but overall, quite cute. Looks early 30s, but is probably more in her early 40s. Still cute. Occasionally talks with what sounds like a Pottsylvanian accent, despite being from the opposite end of Europe. Fans of hers continually try to get her to talk about "Moose and Squirrel."
Obviously, there's no one on the planet Earth who looks like her, so do I even need a disclaimer on her?
Ahem....
Jesse James, and his daughters Faith and Sophia. Do not mention the old west outlaw to him. He is commonly known for destroying whole planetary populations in his novels. He doesn't like the daylight, and during conventions, seems to run on Red Bull. He dresses almost entirely in golf shirts or kilts.
The Great and Powerful Barbara, Queen of all things Goth
She is wife to Jesse James. Described as almost living black leather, which emphasizes her nice figure … and her blue hair. Or, as Sean AP Ryan sums it up, "the hot, blue-haired goth chick.”
Let's just say that someone comes close to touching her kids, and words like "terrifying Valkyrie" are used.
Omar Gunderson
His first introduction:
"The
guy with the flamethrower started, then smiled at him with a broad,
almost skeletal-like grin. He was of average height, with a balding
head that looked almost as perfectly symmetrical as a basketball."
Colonel George Bradley
Army Colonel. Not much is known about him, aside from the fact that he gives off a public appearance of George Patton, and thinks Sun Tzu is a sissy.
Described as
The
older man smiled, which, on him, always looked more like baring
teeth. His bright blue eyes twinkled with amusement. The man's head
looked like it had been carved from granite, and Sean was a little
worried about the possibility that he would ever have to headbutt
him—Sean might suffer a skull fracture.
Then he takes a phone call from his wife, and speaks "in
a voice so sweet, he sounded like someone else."
Tom Knighton
.... Yeah, no contest. It's Tom. I asked if he wanted to be in this one, he said yes.
Cryomancer, an Australian artist... she's friends with a Papa Warhog.
Her first appearance looks like..
"Sean
turned. At his shoulder, there was a tiny slip of a woman. She was
Asian, with a broad, smiling face. Her deep brown hair was combed
back on her right side, and covered her left, going diagonally past
her eye. Her glasses were wire-framed, and she had cute, dangly
earrings. She wore an outfit too long to be considered a little black
dress. Sean was grateful he didn't turn around too fast. She looked
like if he had collided with her, he would have broken her. She
wasn't even five-feet tall, and a size two, at best."
There is, of course, no similarities to the Australian artist Shadowdancer.
Or anyone else.
Honest.
Calvin Y, "Crazy Cal" Jefferson.
Gun smith. Sword smith. Described as looking a little like Freddy Mercury.
Agnes O'Day, leader of the Hydrophobic Puppies. Actually, come to think of it, I don't even think she makes an appearance in the entire novel. The nicest thing said about Madam O'Day is, well....
“Agnes O'Day. She's mostly an American ex-pat who lives in Europe. Most of her comments are race-based, with a lot of sociology on top of that.”
Sean blinked, nodded, pretending as though he had some idea of what Knighton was talking about, and said, “Uh huh … such as?”
“Well, simple concept: That every culture goes through stages of development. And that every culture develops at a different rate. Sounds okay, right?”
“Sure,” Sean agreed. “Heck, when the Conquistadors met the Aztecs, they didn't even have the wheel or understand sailing vessels, but they had multistory buildings. What's so controversial about that?”
“Yes, now if I say that every culture has been, as she puts it, 'savage,' is that a problem?” Knighton asked.
Sean chuckled. “Last year, I went toe-to-toe with half of NATO because they wanted to break up everything in the Vatican and distribute the parts. I don't need a slide-rule for that.”
“Now, what happens if she declares all of Africa as still in the savage stage of development?”
Sean raised a brow. “It comes off as a little racist. Not even I would say the entire continent. I've got a friend who was shot to pieces saving my ass, and he was an Egyptian cop.”
“Exactly,” Knighton concurred. “And now you see why there are problems with Agnes O'Day and, well, most of the association of SF&F writers....And that's when O'Day is being nuanced. There are days she just lets fly.”
Puppy Punters include
Patty and Terry Smith-Smythe-Smits, publishers at Rot books (Name of Publisher to change ... I hear "Midden" is a good idea).
They are both asexual. They dress in brown leather and combat boots. It's hard to tell which one is the loud boisterous one, and which is the quiet one who always nods and says "Yes dear."
They have a minion named Fred Moshevsky, a drooling hunchback with slick, greasy hair.
Kendall Adler, who draws on company walls with crayon
Author S Typhoon Teacup
Fat, squat, and toadlike racist, who had declared a Fatwa on any authors who don't look like her.
Johnny Noah Prada
Really, he's just a stuck up snot who dresses in nothing but tweeds.
Nicole K.Victoria Daalman.
With initials like that, do I even need to describe her? And Charles RR Martinez. ... who is so white it's pronounced Martin-es.
Described as "taller than Sean thought, though not by much. The short Santa Claus beard didn't help much, though. And the fisherman's cap on his head looked strange, but then again, some people needed a brand."
Obviously, looks like no one we know.
Yama "Crabs"Marshman, out of the back end of Massachusetts. From what we can tell, he hasn't done anything that anyone can really get him on—not lately. Agnes O'Day sicced a horde of PIs on Marshman, and got him banned from the Internet. Since then, Marshman has rotated targets, and he feels brave enough to cyber-stalk Cryomancer via rotating IP-anonymizers, but everyone knows it's him under a half-dozen different Internet aliases. He has a distinctive style of crazy.
Do I even need a disclaimer? Of COURSE a snot like this would never exist.
And, of course, Jerry Friedman, an aging author still claiming cred for a popular creation over 50 years ago, the Hairballs. He tends to dress like Oscar Wilde after ingesting LSD.
There are, of course, a few friends of mine tucked in here, at the corners, at least so they could make cameos. I couldn't stuff in everybody I wanted to, because otherwise, the book would have been double the length.
For example, there's one guy described in the lines as
There
was also a guy who was dressed like an angry dwarf, even though he
was too tall to be a dwarf, wearing a booze keg on his back, and
using a war hammer as a walking stick, wearing a name tag that read
“Brodder.” There was an impromptu party happening in the lines
around him.
Sean eats at least once from the Aloha Snack Bar
The investigative detective is a Jim Bellmore....
One of Sean's security guys on this case is a member of the 501st named Moses Lambert....
There's at least one fellow who seems to have a "Professor X wheelchair, only made out of Legos."
You get the idea.
Overall, to be honest? This might be one of my better books. It's a better one shot than It Was Only on Stun!, though some people might fight me on that one.
And yes, Set to Kill is set after The Pius Trilogy. If you care what happens in The Pius Trilogy, everything Pius will only last UNTIL THIS FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 18TH. This book takes place after the actual trilogy, so if you want to only buy A Pius Stand, that should catch you up. Though I recommend the entire trilogy. However, I should stress that YOU DO NOT NEED TO BUY ANYTHING PIUS TO READ SET TO KILL. Seriously.
Anyway, Set to Kill is available for preorder right now.
HARVEST, Ala. (November 7, 2016) – From vampire horror to satire to science fiction, Declan Finn's imagination has brought no end of excitement to life for his readers. Now the noteworthy Dragon Award nominated author of Honor at Stake is teaming with Silver Empire Publishing to bring his thriller series, The Pius Trilogy, to new readers. The five book deal includes the original Pius Trilogy - A Pius Man, A Pius Legacy, and A Pius Stand. It also includes Pius Tales, a collection of short stories feature characters from the Pius Trilogy, and Pius History, a non-fiction account of the actual history behind the series.
A political and religious thriller in the vein of a more historically accurate Dan Brown, A Pius Man takes readers on an action packed romp through the innards of Rome and the Vatican. The tale follows the adventures of Sean A.P. Ryan - stuntman, martial artist, security consultant, and all around badass - and Scott "Mossad" Murphy, among others, as they unravel a conspiracy designed to undermine the new pope and even bring down the Catholic Church itself.
“We're really excited to add the Pius Trilogy to our lineup,” said Russell Newquist, owner of Silver Empire Publishing. “Fans will love Declan Finn's masterful suspense thriller. Most of all, the subject matter is a perfect fit for Silver Empire.”
Declan Finn lives in a part of New York City unreachable by bus or subway. Who's Who has no record of him, his family, or his education. You can find his ramblings over at The Catholic Geeks and his rantings on writing at apiusman.blogspot.com. But to hear him really rant and rave, check out his interview show at The Catholic Geek podcast, over at Blog Talk Radio.
A Pius Man will continue to be available in its current paperback and e-book formats on amazon.com through November 18, 2016. New editions will be released soon by Silver Empire. If you would like your copy autographed or would like to purchase an autographed copy in person, contact Declan Finn at DeclanFinnInc@aol.com to make arrangements. For more information, visit apiusman.blogspot.com.
About Silver Empire
Silver Empire is an independent publisher of novels, short stories, and games and is located in Harvest, Ala. Founded in 2014, Silver Empire continues to strive to be a creative outlet for new and rising authors. The publisher provides quality literature for public consumption and enjoyment. For more information about Silver Empire, visit silverempire.org.
Words can't describe how happy I am with this.
2017 is already looking good.
While we're all here....Murphy's Law of Vampires, sequel to the second place Sad Puppies 4 nominee for best novel, and Dragon Award nominated novel Honor at Stake came out today.
Yes, I'm still heading for Atlanta. I still have a blog to do.
You know, it's occurred to me that I should probably so something really strange .... and have a blog post that actually collects, you know, my books.
Yes, I know, I'm slow.
I'm going to be putting these together in order, sort of. Mostly in chronological by story. Most of these books are not really that tightly interwoven. For example, It Was Only on Stun! marks the first appearance of Sean A.P. Ryan, but you don't need to read it in order to understand The Pius Trilogy. Technically, you don't even need it to understand Set To Kill when that comes out. Granted, I want you to buy all of them, but I'm not going to force it.
This one, everyone knows. Why? Because it's "murder mystery at a science fiction convention." I won't say it's typical at all, because, well, this one has terrorists, assassins, and a psychotic who thinks he's an elf.
You've seen every Dan Brown knockoff in existence. You know, a Mozart conspiracy, or a Michelangelo Pattern, and Daniel Silva, or I don't know, someone else who decides to smash pseudo-history together with "high technology" MacGuffins.
Granted, Dan Brown is actually a knockoff of James Rollins, who had been putting theoretical science together with mysteries of history well before Brown's train wreck of a series.
The Pius Trilogy is pretty much where I started in the general insanity of my writing career. Stun! came first, but Pius is what I was passionate about for years. It ate a decade of my life, and if you don't believe, me, I can tell you I went through two agents just getting there.
You want history? We got history.
You want a culture war? We fight it with real bullets.
You tired of seeing religion put on trial? See it mount a defense.
Hate lawyers? I think we shoot some.
War on God? God will have none of it. I'm putting the militant in "church militant."
We have an evil Cardinal, a psychotic mercenary, shady priests, a zealous Pope, and everything you think I'm going to do with them, you're wrong.
The follow up anthologies, which are really prequels, are
There are some people who might suggest that this comes first before any of the other books. Technically true. All of the stories in these are the result of, well, promotion. I was trying to build up buzz for the Pius trilogy with stories about the characters. That's how I had....
Sean Ryan vs. the IRA, on twitter .... and versus the meth dealers, on a public street...and in a mall on Black Friday
Scott Murphy, Catholic Mossad Spy, blowing up Bethlehem and Boston.
Jon Koneig, Mafia Enforcer, versus drug lords.
Father Frank Williams .... vs. terrorists on St. Patrick's Day.
On the one hand, this is out of order. Other books have come out since then. However, this is the cherry on top of the trilogy. It's the final straw, really. It's all the footnotes, to pretty much everything I used over the course of the entire series.
Because when in doubt, through everything out there, and see what's bought.
So that's all nine books -- and I'm not counting the pieces and parts of Tales, it's just one book, as far as I'm concerned. I have at least three more that are ready to launch within a matter of weeks.
Anyway, it's been suggested that I go into nonfiction. And my thesis just happens to be about 50,000 words long.
And it's been edited to within an inch of it's life already. So, hey, guess what's one of the next items on the list of things to publish?
Also, I've had to make changes, if only because some research has overtaken my original study. Then again, I originally claimed that "Songs of the PLO" weren't a thing you got on CD. I've been told otherwise, but it's not like you can go on Amazon and purchase a copy. Trust me, I know, I tried.
Also, I'm trying to figure out what the heck Amazon is thinking in suggesting that this particular work should be $3.99. If they want to suggest a higher price like that, I'm not exactly going to argue with them.
Why today as well? Because I had an extra day lying around, thanks Amazon.
If you don't recall what Pius Tales is ... it's the complete anthology that compiles every short story connected to The Pius Trilogy.
If you haven't read the Pius books yet, I actually recommend starting with Pius Tales. It's actually a good deal -- it collects Pius Holidays, and Pius Origins, and throws in some essays, too.
There is, of course, some overlap between these projects. Why? Um.... duh? Because my Pius books are nothing but history.
Sigh. Nuts. That means I'm going to have to do "Pius History," the papers I originally used for the creation of TPT. One on Pius XII, one on the Sudan, and one on JPII versus the Soviet Union.
Oh yay. More work.
That's alright, I'm just going to have to make more work for Dawn doing the covers. Heh.
I only just recently noticed how much I've been beating the crap out of my heroes lately. Funny enough, it's because I submitted Set to Kill and noticed how few named characters I put into the hospital.
Okay, granted, I've put an awful lot of people into the morgue, but that's another conversation about my tendencies for mass murder of armed stupid people.
At the end of A Pius Man ... one dead, one in the hospital, and two carted off in an ambulance.
A Pius Stand? Two in the hospital. Sorry, three in the hospital. One impaled on a machete.
We won't even go into what happens to Sean in A Pius Legacy.
And of course, Marco Catalano gets the crap beaten out of him repeatedly.
Guess what? Pain is necessary. Why? Well, in some cases, it's simply because you don't get into a fight without getting a least a little hurt. Hell, you don't get into fist fights and gun battles with a few dozen people without getting at least a little beat up.
I've found that I have been beating up my characters a lot, ever since I started my Krav Maga training a few years ago. Getting the tar beaten out of you for three hours a day, four days a week, will inspire you to rewrite your characters into being winded after every fight. Or at least experience adrenaline fatigue.
It's one of the reason why schwarma in Avengers works so well. Because after fighting an alien army from the other end of the universe and nearly being nuked, you're not that much fun for a few hours. Probably not until you take a nap.
Jim Butcher has a special appreciation of pain, because he has suffered from migraines for many, many years. He's gotten to the point where he must lift weights every day or two, otherwise he gets them with a vengeance. This is one of the reasons why Harry Dresden is always getting his ass kicked, and probably why he had three books of constant headaches that threatened to literally make his brain explode out of his skull.
Robert Howard, the creator of Conan, was another one who appreciated pain and fights. The man actually got into fights a lot. As opposed to someone like Edgar Rice Burroughs, who never got into a fight in his life, and made John Carter of Mars look like Legolas after every fight scene. Legolas at least had a good reason, being an elf and all. In fact, I think they deliberately made it a running gag on the Lord of the Rings film.
Obviously, you can have a problem describing pain all the time, blow by blow. For one thing, that just clutters up the page. And second, it's not realistic. It often may not hurt when you get hit. In my experience, pain usually comes later, after the impact happens -- maybe even after the inciting incident (fight, accident) happens. I even remember breaking my leg. It didn't hurt that much, but it did when I tried to walk on it. That was fun (read: KILL ME NOW).
But there's a reason my characters slow down by the end of the novel. Being beaten black and blue will do that. There's a reason that the TV show Arrow has our hero needing dire, emergency room level medical attention at least once a season. It hurts.
And frankly, it's going to hurt to be my characters. Bwahaha.
You have probably already seen this Rogue One: A Star Wars Story trailer, but in case you missed it, here it is.
This inspired the question among some friends of mine: what the hell is it with these really freaking tiny women adopting the "strong female character" trope?
Now, if you've read my novels, you know that I have no problem with strong, kick ass women. I've defended against that stupidity from feminazis often enough. Look at my defense of women in military science fiction. Or my article on SFCs. Or when I beat up on the idiocy of Tor writer Liz Bourke.
On the other hand, there is a major problem with the Strong Female Character that's being used lately. Because, sorry, when I create a woman character who is ALSO a bad ass, I also make certain that these women are either a) not a size zero, or b) fighting in creative, indirect ways.
Why? A few reasons. To start with, even among well-skilled (and equally skilled) male fighters, the bigger fighter is probably going to win -- the odds are nearly certain. There's a good reason that Loki rarely, if ever, directly engages with Thor -- Thor has got at least fifty pounds of muscle on him. Depending on the comic, the Joker is not squaring off against Batman and exchanging punches most of the time, because Batman is twice Joker's weight.
Hell, if you have two pro-wrestlers, how many of them fight exactly the same? When you get out of different weight classes, the changes are extreme. But you're not going to have a 5'6" wrestler like Rey Mysterio take on the 6'11" Undertaker in a direct fight -- the smaller wrestler will be bouncing around the ring like a ping pong ball, and trying to catch him is a pain in the ass. Small people fight different than bigger people. Simple as that. If you're small, you go in, strike something critical, then get away from them as soon as possible. If you're big, you close with the opponent, and crush them.
So, why are women being treated so much differently than men in this area? Seriously, there are weight differences between men, but somehow, all women are allowed to fight exactly the same way as men in media, even though women are naturally 50-100 pounds lighter.
Granted, in some cases, this works -- when these well-trained kick ass females are going up against untrained hoodlums, there is no contest. That's superior skill versus brute strength. I'd take a dozen marines with handguns versus three dozen MS-13 members armed with SMGs any day of the week.
But, somehow, as I go through my collection of media, which grows larger with each passing day, the kick ass woman are getting smaller, and their opponents (many of whom are supposed to be of equal talent and ability) are getting bigger.
For example, look at Jaimie Alexander, who is basically playing Jason Bourne on Blindspot -- who can kick the ass of almost everyone she comes across. She is possibly better known as the Lady Sif in the Thor films.
Okay, yes, she's very pretty. But I didn't pick this photo for the underwear value. Look at her arms. Now look at her legs. Where's the muscle? She's 5'9", but she's also a toothpick. I am never happier than when she's using weaponry, because her shooting someone feels more believable than her bringing down a 6'3" thug with her bare hands.
Enter the other 5'9" female bad ass who has spent her days swinging a sword.
Yeah, I know Xena is a stereotype, but please look at these two actresses, and riddle me this, Batman, which one looks more believable in terms of being able to hold her own in general?
She's not a toothpick, she's not "a guy with breasts," and she had this bright light in her eyes right before she wiped the floor with everyone in a berserker rage, and she looked like she was having fun. (Yes, I'm ignoring some of the later seasons. I think I ditched the show somewhere around the time she met Lucifer ... or when she was crucified by Julius Cesar, after having only met King David ... yeah, that show hurt my brain after a while).
And even after all you do the compare and contrast in build, why are the "strong women fighters" straight-up brawlers? When you consider that not even all men fight like this, why are all women fighting like this? Are the stunt coordinators that stupid? (Unlikely). Or are the directors and writers? (That's where my money is).
Hell, the closest we have to a Lucy Lawless type these days is Adrianne Palicki. She, sadly, was wasted on a Wonder Woman pilot from David E. Kelly (seriously, who allowed the lawyer show guy to make Wonder Woman?), and is currently being wasted on Agents of SHIELD. People who have better things to do with their lives might recognize her as Perkins from John Wick.
Note, from this photo, three things.
1) Her body type is not "Toothpick."
2) She is 5'11" in body armor.
3) She is holding an improvised weapon, because people who fight have weaponry.
Thank you. Was that so hard?
Frankly, I think I would have preferred her to being Wonder Woman in the films than Gal Gadot. Why? Because Wonder Woman was many things, but never a toothpick. Heck, I would have even taken Hayley Atwell (Agent Carter), who is 5'7", and not a size zero.
Does anyone remember Antje Traue from Man of Steel? I mean, look at this woman.
Oh wow, look! Muscles!
Height? 5'6"
Can we have her in some of these films? I know everyone in Star Wars is British, but still, can we make an effort here, people?
Seriously, Hollywood, what are you doing to get these toothpicks as actresses? It's very offputting. There's "thin" and then there's "good God, please eat a hamburger, I'm expecting you to break."
This is why, at the end of the day, the most believable kick ass woman in current media is, well, Scarlet Johansson's Black Widow. Why? Because despite her being 5'3" (yes, she's that tiny), she's 1) not a toothpick and 2) she fights in so many varied and sundry methods and styles, she never takes someone on directly and / or bare handed. She's jumping on people and breaking necks, or dropping them with a gadget, or just shooting them.
Hell, remember Black Widow in Avengers, where she just stood square against Hawkeye and exchanged blows with him? Of course you don't, because it never happened. She jumped all over the place like a freaking rubber ball, and catch her if you can.
Don't get me wrong, there are places and points where not only should these smaller women be used, the can, and have, been used WELL. Black Widow is brilliantly and intelligently executed. Remember Rey in The Force Awakens? She was tiny, short, and the managed to be victorious in her light saber duel because she fought smart -- she spent most of the fight strategically maneuvering to better positions, using her environment, and was fighting a partially trained Sith who had already been shot with the SciFi equivalent of a howitzer.
Frankly, the best points where getting these tiny, tiny women to perform great feats of strength is, really, science fiction or fantasy. Whether it's the Bionic Woman or Summer Glau as a Terminator, or Buffy the Vampire slayer, it's impressive because they're so small. Supergirl is fine, because, well, she's a freaking alien. But this isn't how normal people operate. Hell, Buffy was supposed to be stronger than your average bear, and she still jumped around all over the place.
Why is Buffy the Vampire Slayer better executed than some of these more "serious" thrillers, like Blindspot?
(Hell, I'm actually surprised that Jaime Alexander isn't better built, considering she has to carry what looks like at least twenty pounds of plastic armor in the Thor films. I didn't expect her to be that tiny.)
For a moment, let's look at my books ... with normal characters, because I'm not counting the vampire as "normal." That's covered under my "science fiction and fantasy" exception.
(Though I should note, Amanda Colt is not the toothpick Jaimie Alexander. I think I would rather have Scarlet Johansson, if she were a little taller. Anyway...)
If you haven't read / don't recall The Pius Trilogy, I have three women who have gotten into fights.
Exhibit A) Wilhelmina Goldberg: Five-feet tall (really 4'11") Goldberg is a computer nerd. She used to work for the NSA, but went over to the Secret Service to audit security, since she's not tall enough to jump in front of Presidents. Her fights included: punching someone in the balls, and dropping low and cutting their Achilles tendons.
Exhibit B) Maureen McGrail: somewhere around 5'9 (because I don't recall), imagine Jaimie Alexander with about thirty pounds of muscle on her, and a broader frame. She's ridiculously over skilled. Even though she has more black belt levels than Chuck Norris, her fighting style boiled down to: attack joints, attack eyes, and deflecting, rather than blocking attacks.
Exhibit C) Manana Shushurin: 5'7" or so. Also insanely well-trained. Her primary form of fighting?Shooting people in the head. Yes, really. She may have gotten into three actual physical altercations in the entire trilogy, but most of the time, she just shot her enemies. Because bullets are your friend.
Seriously, at the end of the day, can we have a collection of characters and actresses who look, well, healthy? I'm tired of the cliche. It's getting problematic, and the execution is getting more and more lazy as things go on. At least in the Thor films, Alexander's Lady Sif is covered in body armor to bulk her up. But in general, the actresses seem to be getting smaller and shorter, and becoming more like empty-handed, bare-knuckle brawlers. And it really needs to stop.
Originally posted last February, this was before I had 6,000 readers a week, so there may be one or two who haven't seen it originally.
[If you've seen this before, well, don't be surprised. I have jury duty today, so my time's a little backed up. Sorry for the rerun, folks.]
The Mad Genius Club is going to force me to actually work. I don't mean they're holding a gun to my head, but they are making me up my game with their most recent posting of their year's topics.
If they're going to up their game, let's see who can out-blog who. Ha!
… Which, sadly, makes me think “Who ha's? Didn't Sarah Hoyt talk about this once?”
If you'd been to Cedar's blog last week, you've already read this one. If you haven't ... why haven't you?
Anyway...
If you're interested in pacing an entire series, you could do much worse than look at the fantasy novels of Terry Goodkind. In his case, the solution to one, world-ending doom leads to the next world ending doom. I did that in one series, the Pius trilogy, where book one ends nice and happy and yay the bad guys are gone … then that lead into book two, where the bad guys had a backup plan, which led into causing problems in what would be book three.
But for pacing an individual novel, the short version is, I like putting pressure on my characters. I have to, otherwise I don't get the best out of them. After all, these are thrillers. Even when I'm going through character moments, the moments have to keep the tension on – on the protagonist or on the reader. It is perfectly and completely fair to have a long conversation about love and emotions, and politics and economics. It can go on for as long as you like … though the reader might find it more interesting if there's a bomb in the room. (For those of you who don't know who I mean, watch the Tommy Lee Jones film Blown Away, and pay particular attention to the kitchen scene. What scene is that? You'll know it when you see it.)
With my Pius trilogy, I take the “machinegun through the door” a little too literal at times. The first chapter opens with a gunman picking up tech expert at Rome's airport, and leads into a body being blown out of a window and landing on their car. Then I reveal that it's the head of Papal Security picking up a Secret Service agent. When I'm not dropping bodies out of windows, everyone has just barely enough time to analyze what's going on before they're attacked again. Or they have a nice quiet conversation about their past, their feelings, their character exposition … did I write that out loud? Oh well … and then somebody is mugging them, or shooting at them, or performing strange gymnastic attacks with a halberd. Yes, that last part is a long story. ReadA Pius Man for that one.
With my other project, Codename: Winterborn (yes, after the Cruxshadows song), my protagonist, Lt. Kevin R. Anderson has more internal pressures driving him. At the opening of Codename: Winterborn, send Kevin and his team of spies into the Islamic Republic of France (the IRF … or the Irritating, Revolting Frogs).
Then I kill off almost everyone Kevin likes, because some politicians thought that blowing the cover on his SpecOps team would be just a great idea for political points, and their bank accounts.
So, I was hanging out, discussing the sequel to It Was Only on Stun!, perhaps around another convention. As mentioned, I had considered a sequel where Sean would be protecting "not" Natalie Portman at Harvard, or perhaps where he was protecting an adult actress on a set.
And then there was the idea where I was going to send Sean Ryan to protect DragonCon.
Originally, when the concept rattled around y brain a few years ago, it was going to be the murder of JJ Abrams by J. Michael Straczynski, and Rick Berman would be arrested for it at the end of the novel. If you have no idea who these people are, don't worry, this involves LOTS of inside baseball. Also, William Shatner-- mentioned in the book only as "the Whale"-- in the same room with Chris Pine. Hilarity ensues.
Sean: "What do I have for security?"
"Stormtroopers."
"Star Wars or World War II?"
"Star Wars. They're all marines or cops. It's the only reason they can march in file. And hit what they aim at."
Sean cackles. "Exxxcellent. I have an army!"
"We have a hulk."
Sean: "What?"
"Nevermind."
This premise was never going to happen. This sequel was never going to happen. Why? Think about it for a moment-- It Was Only on Stun! was not the best-received novel I've ever written. Why do a sequel? I have one or two fans of the book who are loudly demanding a sequel, but aside from that.
Anyway, while I was having this discussion with a friend of mine, Margot St. Aubin, she started laughing, and jokingly suggested a crossover with my Sad Puppies Bite Back Universe.
As all of those you were present for the creation of SPBB, making suggestions like that will only get them added.
So, of course, Sean had to be at "WyvernCon" in Atlanta, to "protect" three groups of players in FanDom from each other.
Imagine trying to explain this to Sean.
"So first, we have the Tearful Puppies Save the Orphans campaign--"
Sean: "The what?"
"Long story on the name. Anyway, we have Larry, Intergalactic Lord of Hate--"
Sean: "Who's that?"
"Him, over there?"
Sean: "The seven-foot tall teddy bear? Hey, I think I bought a few guns from him."
"Probably. Anyway, you have the Stunning Yet Vile Space Princess and her umbrella of Death--"
Sean: "Darth Leia?"
"Not quite. The Portuguese female over there. The White Mormon Male with a great rack."
Sean: "....Um .... Dude ... She's clearly a woman."
"Long story."
Sean: "There are a lot of those, aren't there?"
"You have no idea. And you have Jessie James."
Sean: "That's an alias, right? Pseudonym?"
"Nope, it's his real name. Don't bring up the old West outlaw. Just don't. Anyway, that's him over there."
Sean: "Is he wearing a kilt?"
"Yup."
"Is that common?"
"Yup."
Sean: "Lemme guess, long story?"
"Kinda."
Sean: "And the hot, blue-haired goth chick is...?"
"His wife. She's smarter than all of us put together, and we have some rocket scientists at this con, so don't make jokes."
Sean: "I'd never. So, we have the Sad--"
"Tearful!"
Sean: "--Puppies, and they're interested in what?"
"Saving the Hubble Awards from their own obscurity and left-wing nutters who have control over it."
Sean: "No one cares about the Academy Awards, and no one's trying to save that from left-wing nutters. Have I heard of this Hubble Award?"
"Oh, sure. Asimov won it. Heinlein won it. I think Ellison won it."
Sean: "Two out of three ain't bad. And the Distressed Puppies are trying to ... what? Make sure other people can play with the Hubble?"
"Basically so that anyone can win an award based off of talent, merit, that sort of thing."
Sean: "Good luck on that. Hell, the Golden Globes have been screwed up since the start, and that's voted on by five guys in the foreign correspondents dinner. So, the people who were begging for my protection are the Bawling Puppies?"
"TEARFUL .... no, those are the Puppy-Kickers."
Sean blinks .... shakes his head ... counts to ten .... "The what-now?"
"We have a few names for them. SMURFS for one. CHUDs for another."
Sean: "Riiiight. SciFi people and their acronyms. Next you're going to try convincing me that and RPG is NOT a rocket propelled grenade."
"Actually--"
"Smurfs, what about them? Lefty-looney nutjobs? That's it? Who are those players?"
"Well, you have John Prada -- wrote a Star Trek Fan Fic named Goldshirts, and got a Hubble for it."
Sean: "I thought they were Red Shirts?"
"Not on the Next Generation. Also, you have the guy who invented the Hairballs."
Sean: "Something a cat coughed up?"
"Kind of like the flat cats made by Heinlein. The guy's name is Jerry David."
Sean: "Uh huh. And you said something about another group? A third group?"
"Yes, the Hydrophobic Puppies. They want the Hubbles scrapped, burned to the ground, and start over with something new."
Sean: "Well, if someone told me they were going to burn down the Academy Awards, I would just make sure that George Clooney was still in the building when it went up. And who's in charge of the Rabid--"
"Hydrophobic Puppies! It's a her, actually. She goes by the name Agnes Dei."
Sean blinked: "Riiiigh. Sure. Of course. So, lemme just get this clear. You have the Hubbles, the lefties who own the Hubbles, The Hydrophobic who want to burn the Hubbles, and the Tearful Puppies who want to save the Hubbles from themselves. Is that what you're telling me?"
"Yup."
Sean nods slowly: "And the Hubbles are this great big Sci-fi award? At WyvernCon?"
"Nope. UniversalCon. But they wouldn't allow any Puppies there, so they all thought this would be neutral ground."
Sean looks around the room: "They do realize we're in the South, right? They have guns here, don't they? And the --whadid'ya call them? The smurfs? Thought that this would be neutral ground? Are they smoking many drugs, or only great quantities of one in particular? Because if it's the latter, I need to be on the lookout for if it hits LA anytime soon."
Let's not even go into Sean Ryan meeting someone who goes by "Tom, the Tank Engine." And don't even get me started on his reaction to Avery the Porpoise, the official spokesperson for Tearful Puppies.
And, of course, I had a few titles in mind. Goldshirts was one, just because I'm a bit of a smartass.
The Puppies of Warwould fit better ... and might even bring in anyone who's following PuppyGate, et al.
But then I considered that the first book was It Was Only On Stun! Therefore, wouldn't it just make more sense to have this become Set To Kill? Of course, someone will have to die, but the first one was a murder mystery, why not this one?
And keep in mind, everything you've read has been cooked up tonight. No, I don't outline all that often, why do you ask?
But yeah, this just goes strange. Sean Ryan meets people who are not real-life authors -- I say they're not real-life authors because they look more like the SPBB authors than anyone in real life. After all, the SPBB versions are already fictional, this would just go the rest of the way.
Obviously, most of the jokes write themselves.
And don't even get me started on what happens when we bring in Middle Earth's Most Wanted Elven Assassin. Who, if you've read both Stun! and The Pius Trilogy, you'd know has stuck around.
Keep in mind, there will not be too much crossover with the Piusbooks. There would be no Scott Murphy in this one. There won't be German spies or commando priests, or IRA hitmen ... okay, there's the one who's on Sean's payroll. but aside from that, no.
Unless of course, they decide to just butt into the story without asking me. That happens. Sean wasn't even supposed to be in the Piusbooks, so that tells you exactly how much control I have over these people.
This should be fun. Or deranged. Deranged is good.
As for self-published versus regular publishing ... good question. The covers are cheaper if I do regular publishing. And I think Damnation might be amused. But we'll see.
Yes, I'm still in Indiana. Otherwise, I would have posted something yesterday.
So, I recently got fan mail that asked me when I was getting back to the world of Sean A.P. Ryan (professional nutjob) & Co. And it was more of a when, not if question. There was a mention of Voodoo curses, so I'm not taking any chances.
Recently, I posted about pornstars, and mentioned how I researched "adult entertainment" because I wanted to put Sean in the most uncomfortable position I could find.
That was actually going to be book 3. Because book 2 was going to be about Sean Ryan running security for a Natalia Boatman, a young scifi actress who was going to Harvard. Because there was no relation, at all, to Natalie Portman. Really. There would be terrorists who want to kill her ... mostly because she's Israeli, and a high-profile target. Oh, and yeah, her uncle has heard about it, and he wants to sort the situation ... oh yeah, and he happens to be a semi-retired Mossad hitman.
And did I mention that there would be a mercenary involved who appeared in It Was Only on Stun!?
And that's part of the problem. There are few people who like Stun! Surprisingly enough, it's one of my least reviewed books, and the one with the most mixed reviews. So there's little incentive to finish that trilogy.
However, I do have another idea for the continued career of not only Sean AP Ryan, but also the entire cast of The Pius Trilogy. And one that might be more up-to-date given his post-Pius career.
Simple premise: After Pius, there's a new President in charge, and he is nowhere like President Barry. If you're read A Pius Stand, you probably know who the new guy is. But the short version is that he is not a fan of standard business as usual practices. After a terrorist attack, said President wants to assemble an armed NGO that will hunt down and kill terrorists, steal their money, and use that money to bankroll doing the same thing over and over again. And it would be led by "the most relentless, determined, psychotic son of a bitch" that he can find.
No points for guessing who said psycho is.
And you can probably guess who the team he assembles is going to be.
If you're a Baen reader, this might sound a little familiar. Very slightly familiar. There is a passing similarity in that terrorist-hunting duties are handed off to a private contractor. But since Tom Kratman is a former Lt. Colonel and is essentially a one-man think tank on waging warfare, and I'm a schlub from New York who's only fired two guns in his entire life .... one apiece ... these are going to be two very different outcomes. Less military / war novel, and more Monster Hunter International for hunting terrorists.
It's one way to take it. And given ISIS lately? Sounds pretty darned timely to me.
Actually, doing the Impossible Missions Fund effects a space opera I was working on. Why? Because Sean AP Ryan was not the first Sean Ryan I created. The first Sean Ryan was of the 2300s (or was it the 3300s?) in said space opera. Either way, setting up the IMFund creates a family business for later on.
Anyway, welcome to the dark recesses of my brain, and what's coming down the pipe later on.
![A Pius Stand: A Global Thriller (The Pius Trilogy Book 3) by [Finn, Declan]](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51GcETou1kL.jpg)
