Guest Blog: Winter is Coming. So?

Personally, my thoughts on Game of Thrones is that it's a Lord of the Rings parody that got turned into a snuff film by mistake.

Dave's opinion is more nuanced.

~Declan



David Morris

DavidB226Morris@aol.com

June 12, 2018

Winter is Coming. So?

My Problems With Game of Thrones

For Declan's Blog Exclusively

Greetings. My name is David Morris. I have known Declan Finn personally for well over a decade, since he helped me edit some 24-Alias novels. We don't always agree politically (I'm a centrist libertarian) or on television, but we have mutual respect for our abilities as writers. For that reason, he has gracious allowed me to guest post this piece at his site.

A basic introduction. While I have written a formidable amount of fanfiction for the last two decades, the majority of my writing over that period has been based in television criticism. In that sense, Declan was instrumental in getting me my first professional piece at the now (mostly) defunct Examiner.com. Since that website stopped publishing television reviews, I have posted at two website - medium.com under my pen name David B Morris., and at my own personal blog davidbmorristvbonaza.blogspot.com (Yes, I know its misspelled; I didn't do a spellcheck, and by the time I registered it was too late. C'est la vie.)

The article you're currently reading represents my five hundredth post at the latter. In recognition of this, Declan has graciously allowed me to do a special guest post at his website, commemorating a series that I am sure everybody at this blog has a reason to despise: Game of Thrones. I appreciate his generosity at allowing me to make this posting on his website. It is my fondest wish that, having read my article, you will go to both my websites and start following me. I can't always promise that my choices in television will be entirely to your liking, but that's the job of a critic.

This piece will also probably be fairly longer than the majority of the pieces I usually write. Considering the length and breadth the series takes up, there's a certain logic to that, too. That said, most of what I know about Game of Thrones comes second-hand, so if I get any names or plot points wrong, they're my mistakes, and I hope you don't hold that against me.

As I have mentioned in my column and blog many times, all of my criticism takes a narrow view. The shows that I recommend are only series that I have time to watch. At my most active, I can watch maybe ten percent of all the series currently on the air, and as a result, many, many good series have fallen by the wayside. I never got into Downton Abbey, I only sporadically watch NCIS, and there are so many streaming services that I barely can watch a few key ones on Netflix and Amazon.

But there are some very popular series that, even given the fullness of opportunity, that not only would I never watch, when I hear what they are about and what happens on them, I am frankly appalled that these are the series that my fellow viewers have chosen to embrace. Even worse, I wonder what it says for the public that so many of them worship these series. Today, I'm going to discuss one such series that has already infected its network, the audience, and frankly the world for reasons that I can't comprehend: Game of Thrones.

Now, I'll be honest. Initially, I chose not to watch Game of Thrones out of any political or artistic reasons. When it premiered, Sundays at 9, I would, usually and faithfully be watching The Good Wife with my mother. Political points of view aside, it was a truly brilliant written, acted and often extremely funny, courtroom drama that absolutely represented the best of what network TV could do. In fact, I would spend many articles raging why the Emmys would choose to overindulge one series and practically ignore the other. (End of digression)

I know, that's a weak excuse. Even though streaming was still in its infancy at the time, HBO makes a habit of repeating its original series so many times after the premiere that I could've chosen to watch the initial episode of Thrones at any time after the initial premiere. The major reasons I chose not to watch it were even simpler. I didn't know anything about the books they were based on, I had major problems with any television series based on fantasy, and it sounded too much like a mix of period piece and swords and sorcery for me to even consider quality TV.

A couple of words about George R.R. Martin. At the time, I didn't know what a polarizing figure he was among the sci-fi community. I only knew him through his work on the 1980s incarnations of The Twilight Zone and Beauty and the Beast, and the odd sci-fi story I'd read, none of which I'd found particular impressive. Furthermore, as much as it's easy to blame him for a lot, at least some of the blame must go to showrunners and head-writers David Benioff and D.B. Weiss. Indeed, a good argument can be made that much of what happens on the series is more their fault then it is Martin's, particularly in the later seasons where (presumably) they have begun to depart rather largely from the published books. This doesn't absolve Martin, particularly as Benioff and Weiss stuck pretty close to the spirit and text of the novels, but let's at least to be willing to put some of the blame where it belongs.

But even if I didn't have all the baggage that pertains to Martin and the world of Westeros that many people, the fact is, most of my problems with the series would still be there. How much of this you want to blame on Martin or the show's writing staff is open to debate, but the fact the problems are there, and frankly, I think they would've been insurmountable. Let me state them for the record, and explain my problems with them purely as a television critic.

1. The cast is too large. Now, almost immediately I must quantify this. I don't have a problem with series with large casts. The New Golden Age of Television works as well as it does, because of large, multi-talented casts. It would take an entire article to go through these great series, so I'm going to limit it solely to HBO dramas.

OZ, the prison drama that basically started the revolution, began its run with more than a dozen regular members and nine semi-regulars, and would expand with each successive season. Deadwood had nearly twenty lead actors to start show and managed to do a fairly good job expanding all of them in its (unfortunately) too limited run. And of course, the gold standard for great television, The Wire, had one of the most sprawling cast in the history of the medium, starting with two dozen lead actors, and often putting in a whole new group of regulars with each new season.

But the difference seems to be, each series was run by a genius, who knew how to keep things from spiraling out. Oz was in a claustrophobic setting, and there was a fairly high death rate. Deadwood was limited almost entirely to the breadth of the town, and made its missteps when I tried to give too much room to new characters. And as Simon and his co-writers constantly said, The Wire was the Great American Novel with the central character being Baltimore.

Game of Thrones, in the meantime, seems to deal entirely with so large a realm that it needs a map over the credits to tell you where everything is. And it keeps jumping about from location to location so frequently that its nearly impossible to figure out where the hell you are. There's also the fact that each season so far has been ten episodes a year, as opposed to the usual thirteen for HBO, so that even this close to the series end, its hard to tell who exactly the main characters are. (I read one article a couple years back saying that even the biggest characters on Thrones are often limited to no more than forty minutes of screen time per season.) Again, I have no problems with ensemble shows in general, but even in previous ensemble shows, at least the major characters would interact occasionally. In many cases, most of the major characters didn't start interacting until Season 5, and that's mainly because Benioff and Weiss diverted from the text. I know sometimes you need a chart to keep characters clear; Game of Thrones would seem to require a wall.

That's a huge burden for any series, and that wouldn't bother me so much, if not for the second point:

2. Characters keep dying, and they keep dying horribly. Again, I don't have a problem with series where characters are killed. A fairly solid argument could be made that's part of what makes the New Golden Age so special: no one is safe. (Declan may have problems with this, but even he admits it works at times: his favorite season of 24 was Day 5, and that's the day which by far had the highest body count.) And indeed, so many of the great shows of this era - in addition to the ones I've mentioned, I'll add Breaking Bad and Lost - work so well because when the death comes, it stings a lot.

What I have problem with our series where the characters seem to die arbitrarily or for the sole purpose of shock value. This isn't the sole property of Thrones, either: Shonda Rhimes seems to be even bloodier, and I've had major issues with series like Sons of Anarchy that seem to delight in killing people unpleasantly. What makes Game of Thrones particularly unpleasant is that it seems to revel in killing off its very large cast in particularly unpleasant way often before we even get to know them. It was one thing when Ned Stark got killed, the series had built so much around him in the first season, you almost forgot what was in the book. But from this point, the butcheries just seem to come constantly and using all the gore that HBO can get away with. Indeed, they seem to delight in following characters for an entire season, and have you get attached them, and then mindlessly slaughter them in as public a way as possible. (It probably goes without saying, but if you get a wedding invitation in Westeros, don't RSVP.)

All of this has a level of reaching the kind of detachment you need to get through your typical teenage slasher movie, which would be fine. Sometimes you need that to get through some dark series. Except it now seems that the whole point of the series - the battle for the Iron Throne - is solely go to depend on which character is still alive after all the slaughter. Now, I know battles for thrones can be bloody, but this is ludicrous. Frankly, I'm amazed so many people are still taking it seriously. Or maybe that's not why they watch. Which brings me to my final problem:

3. The copious, ridiculous sex. Declan and I had a running gag about a similarly blood and sex soaked HBO series. We said that the real difference between True Blood and porn is that porn has less nudity. You could substitute Game of Thrones and not have much a debate. Of course, the major difference between Thrones and Blood is that in Thrones, the majority of the sex is incest, half the time known, half the time it is unknown, and all if it pretty violent. Hell, the pilot opened with a scene where the Lannister twins were spotted having sex, and the more onlooker was thrown out a castle window! It's gotten a lot worse from there,

And even when the people who are having sex aren't related (which is the other half of the sex) it can get pretty darn perverse. If there's a field for this kind of sex (and given the mass popularity of the novels and the series, its probably a lot bigger than we'd like to believe), at least, its not doing anything radically new, even on the levels of TV series. (There've been two series on the Borgias that came around the same time, and I think True Blood as well had a fair amount, though again, that's just rumor.) What is the most horrifying part of the sex is the brutalization of women. Now, you would\think in this new era of female abuse there'd be some mass outcry for the way that female characters on this series have been debased and often brutalized. There was a fair amount on controversy when one of the surviving Stark children, barely in her teen, was essentially raped on her wedding night. But it didn't last very long, mainly because not that long afterward all everybody cared about was whether or not Jon Snow was alive or dead.

One could make the argument that this shaming of women is part of time and place, but since we don't know when or even where this series is taking place, that holds very little water with me. It doesn't seem to bother millions of other fans, and that troubles me even more. Not quite as much as the untold millions who worship Shonda Rhimes or The Walking Dead, but it is very troubling.

However, I will be honest. There is one thing about Game of Thrones that I admire. It is simultaneously the biggest and smallest thing about. I speak, of course, about the magnificent Peter Dinklage and his work as Tyrion Lannister.

Unlike the majority of viewers, I had actually heard of Dinklage before his work on this show. He is a formidable and charismatic actor who, but for his stature, would have been a superstar actor in a field. As it is, he had already managed quite a remarkable career in the independent film industry, most memorably in The Station Agent and Find Me Guilty. The matching of him with this kind of fantasy role should've been a no-brainer, but Dinklage, prior to this series, avoided these roles because he didn't want to be typecast. Indeed, he made it very clear when he was cast in the role of Tyrion that he didn't want to have to grow the conventional beard associated with so many fairy tales. When he finally had to grow one, he made it clear it was going to be that of desperate fugitive, not a cuddly dwarf.

Dinklage is by far the best thing about this series. He plays Tyrion like Richard III melded with Frank Urquhart/Underwood, with the drinking and whoring of Falstaff thrown in. From the beginning of the series, he has been one of the more magnificent schemers - he's literally the red-headed stepchild of the family, and he knows the only way he's going to get power is by manipulation. For that reason, he is generally loathed everyone, and the feeling is mutual He is probably the only character on the series one feels even the remotest amount of sympathy for, even though he would probably disdain the viewer for doing so.

And of course, he is responsible for the one truly glorious moment of the show. In season 4, after months of being suspected of the murder of his nephew, he goes before the court, and yells out: "I did not kill Tyrell Lannister, but I wish to God I had! His death brought be more pleasure than a thousand whores!" You could hear the ping of brilliance in that moment, mainly because it was surrounded in the filth and noise and bloodshed of hundreds of other beastly acts. Now, I'm not saying that Dinklage deserved the Emmys he's gotten for Game of Thrones, but he deserves to get awards for something, and if this the only way to get them, I can't begrudge them that.

But for all that, Game of Thrones is almost entirely a bloody, disgusting orgy of violence that even for HBO represents the worst elements of pay cable with little of the benefits. I'm inclined to give the network some credit because I know its because of popular shows like Thrones and True Blood, HBO has been given the latitude to experiment with less showy dramas and comedies. We probably wouldn't have gotten The Deuce or Big Little Lies or Insecure or any of HBO's other brilliant experimental series without these monstrosities.

What bothers me is that HBO seems to be its future is Game of Thrones. The series is scheduled to come to an end in the summer of 2019. But there are at least four other prequel or sequel based series being planned, and one is already in production. Is this going to be what HBO looks like in the 2020s, with half of its schedule devoted to Westeros?

The world of television has been expanding exponentially in the new millennium. For the most part, I consider this a good thing, as it has allowed for truly magnificent programming. And HBO must be given credit - a lot of it -for leading the charge. But HBO lost its place at the top of the pyramid when it expanded its reach beyond its grasp ten years. Could winter really be coming, not only to Westeros, but to HBO? There are plenty of other services more than willing to take the crown. Indeed, AMC, Showtime, and Netflix have spent most of the past ten years showing they have the imagination and the will to do so. I really hope that the network that showed the realism of Sopranos and Six Feet Under and so many other great series hasn't decided its future lies with dragons and Wind Walkers. That would be a fate I'm not even sure Jon Snow would want to come back for.

Dave's Blog

Honor at Stake & Demons are Forever

The Dragons are coming.

If you don't have your ballot filled out already (either IRL or in your head,) here's my list. It includes the lists of other people, so there are options.

Just remember to vote.

Revenge Is Best Served With Success

Just a reminder...bzzt...Declan...bzzt...vacation...bzzt...hey...bzzt...what...bzzzzzzzttttttt...

Hi there my fellow Finnians (fans of Declan Finn of course, and you have to admit it sounds better than my fellow Pius Geekians, right?) my name is Richard Paolinelli and I’ve commandeered Declan’s blog today.

I’ve been a professional writer in one form or another for over thirty years now – and yes I swear I just felt at least six more grey hairs sprout out of the top of my head – and for the last couple of years I’ve been focusing most of my efforts on writing novels.

As part of the marketing strategy for my recent releases I’ve been hitting several circuits, radio shows, online webzine interviews and the occasional guest blog post, like this one. At almost all of the stops I’ve made I’m asked the same question: “What motivated you to write?”

What they are asking is what made me start writing and my stock answer has been that I began writing little stories as a very young child as my dad’s drilling business moved us from one state to the next all across the United States and just kept on writing as I got older.

I started writing professionally as a freelancer back in 1984, got my first fiction credit as the lead writer for a comic book, Seadragon, in 1986 and became a sportswriter for daily newspapers in 1991. In 2013 I retired from sports writing and spent two years researching and writing a sports non-fiction book before turning to fiction in 2015.

So, what I’d like to do here on this blog today is address the question that they should be asking instead: What motivates me to continue to write after over three decades of pounding typewriter keys and computer keyboards?

Mostly, it’s because I love storytelling. Whether it was a game story or a feature on an athlete or a fictional tale conjured up from my imagination, I love putting together a story to inform or entertain. And while the three awards I have picked up along the way were very nice, hearing from readers how much they enjoyed reading something I wrote is a whole lot better.

But what about the times I got the negative reviews – the honest ones from readers that just didn’t like what I wrote as well as the politically motivated ones from people who can’t separate politics from any aspect of their life – or the rejection letters/e-mails saying my work didn’t meet a publisher’s standards?

Nowadays, I’m not bothered so much by the rejections, or even the criticisms. More often than not I can find a nugget within that I can use to improve my writing. But in the early days the “no thanks” letters and the negative critiques cut deep. And while I was, and still am, too stubborn to give it up, I can certainly understand why some would-be writers packed up their typewriters or deleted their word processors from their computer when presented with a rejection letter or two.

It isn’t easy to put yourself out there and it is certainly no fun to take the kind of hits you take when the answer is in the negative.

In my case, I was introduced to the dark side of writing early on. At the tender age of 14 I wrote what I thought was a nice little sci-fi/horror short story about a Coast Guard ship sailing through a thick bank of fog. The ship picks up a distress call from another vessel but is unable to locate the ship. The signal is lost as the fog bank dissipates an hen the ship docks at its home base, the crew is stunned to discover the ship they head from had been lost at sea – twenty years before. The story ends with the captain of the lost ship, still trapped in the fog, still calling for help that will never come.

I typed up the final draft, neatly double spaced on 20-lb paper and sent it off in the mail to a magazine that published such stories. Three weeks later I received a letter, a rejection letter, of course.

But instead of your standard “thanks-for-submitting-but-your-story-isn’t-what-we’re looking-for-and-good-luck-with-your-future-writing” letter, I instead got a long-distance beaten-to-a-pulp-in-a-dark-alley rejection letter from the magazine’s editor.

Basically, the letter stated that my story was the worst thing he’d ever seen hit his desk in his career and I should cease insulting the craft of writing by attempting to do it any longer and apply myself to something I was clearly more suited for – flipping burgers.

Now, about 99.9% of people on this planet would have been completely crushed and would have packed it in at that point. I got mad. Then I got even.

For years I kept that rejection letter – the only one I ever kept at all – pinned on a corkboard above my typewriter and later over my PC. Whenever I began to even slightly doubt my chosen career path I’d take a long look at that letter and keep on writing.

I finally tossed that letter – about 10 years into my sports writing career and after my first award (voted on by my peers) from a state newspaper association – when I realized that I no longer needed it as a motivation. At that point I had discovered what it is that motivates me to keep on writing, even after three decades.

I continue to write because there is nothing else in this world I can see myself doing professionally and because I enjoy every aspect of it. Most importantly, even if no one else ever reads another word I write, I can’t wait to see what new world, what new collection of characters I will create next and what new adventure they will take me on.

I can’t think of a better motivation for any writer than that.

Find out more about Richard and his books at http://www.richardpaolinelli.com/ including updates on when his new blog, Scribes Scribbles, will launch.



For good storylines with some great romantic tension, check out the Love At First Bite Series

  

Why Social Justice Storylines Don’t Work

Just a reminder that Declan is on vacation for the next couple of weeks and guest bloggers will be filling in. Today, I'd like to welcome Moira Greyland Peat (author of the Hugo nominated "Story of Moira Greyland") to the Pius Geek blog with her post on Social Justice Story lines.

Yes, I know. We are all supposed to be diverse, and treat every new fad as though it is as “valid” as the traditions and cultural norms spanning thousands of years. But deep down, we know that even though the more sensitive (read: adolescent) members of our culture really want us to validate their folly, it remains folly, and diversity doesn’t work in movies if it eclipses our most basic human needs and drives.

We can see the failure of the social justice storylines all around us. The most famous, of course, can be found in the more recent iterations of the Star Wars saga. No amount of money, CGI or big-name actors has ever equaled the thrill of Luke and Leia swinging over the chasm, or the cliffhanger interchange between Han and Leia where she said “I love you” and he said “I know.”

What passes for “romance” in the first three prequel Star Wars movies was an implausible mess between a preadolescent child and an older teen girl. Creepy enough on its face, it was difficult to believe that Padme Amidala could possibly have seen anything attractive in him. One day, he came to her whimpering and crying about having committed genocide. Genocide! Padme Amidala, the ruler of so many people, was completely unconcerned about Anakin’s distinctly un-manly show of emotion, or the gut-wrenching atrocity he had just committed.

Instead of running like hell, Padme Amidala MARRIED the psychopath, and unsurprisingly, his insanity continued unabated. But oooh! We are meant to be more impressed by the CGI!! Starships and pretty lightsaber duels and Really Cool Abilities!! Padme’s death was reminiscent of that one might find in an operatic heroine like Lucia di Lammermoor: she died of a broken heart. This is coherent for a princess: less so for a career politician. Where in psychological terms, a princess can represent pure nobility and pure emotion, a politician is something else entirely.

I am trying to imagine Hillary Clinton dying of a broken heart over ANYTHING that her erstwhile husband did, from bimbo eruptions to military missteps. Seriously, if Anakin’s genocide does not provoke any emotion in Padme, how could his brutal rejection cause her death?

So now we have “The Force Awakens,” where Rey can magically do anything at all, better than anyone else, despite her low economic status. She can beat a much better trained Sith lord with a sword, despite his obvious reach and height. In a swordfight, this is ludicrous. She can fly starships… could it be that in her culture, flight training is a normal part of slave life? And Finn, who really ought to be a romantic figure, doesn’t get to do a whole lot, because she is The Powerful Leading Woman. The guys stand around, or help Rey Be Impressive. They don’t get to think, or be heroic. Not very inspiring to the guys out there, except for the very few guys who hope that Finn will become a gay love interest. Is this the future of romance in movies? The women save the world and the men turn to each other??

Yes, the Star Wars franchise had a chance for a great romance, and they blew it! After all, what do men and women almost invariably want? Partners, sex, companionship, even (gasp) commitment. Movies which have good love interests pique our interests, and we project ourselves onto the characters. Millions of women wanted to have a love affair like Leia and Han, and couldn’t wait to find out what happened after he was sealed up in the mythical Carbonite! They cared! Does anyone give a fig about Finn and Rey? They couldn’t even manage a kiss.

Wouldn’t it have been more inspiring to show us that even powerful women can still love men and be loved by them? Is the bottom line that an impressive woman must be a single woman? Do powerful women still need men, or can they still choose to have them? Do powerful women regard men as bonbons to be snacked on and forgotten, or is partnership between men and women still necessary in fiction?

For those of us who belong to the human race, the answer is an emphatic YES. We need love and we want romance, and plain old stories of courtship. They give us hope. They inspire us. Will we have a generation of girls dressed like Rey, not bothering with romance because their need for love has been eclipsed by the need to Go Forth and Be Awesome? Does any man want to be like Finn, stuck in the background and un-kissed?

I don’t think so. Romance will always be in style. This is why the original Star Wars will always beat the new ones, until and unless Finn manages to give Rey a really good kiss!



For good storylines with some great romantic tension, check out the Love At First Bite Series

Failure Will Not Be Tolerated

Declan is on vacation for the next two weeks, whether he likes it or not. He has books to write and I can't have him stroking out before book 4 of the Love At First Bite Series is completed. I really want to know how that ends. So, my killer chiweenie Saedie (aka Satan) is guarding the office door to keep him out. (Can't trust G. K. Chesterton aka Satan's minion for this job, he likes everyone.)

Over the next two weeks there will be guest bloggers filling in for Declan, beginning with me.

It's been awhile since I've posted here so I should probably reintroduce myself. I am Dawn Witzke, I design all of Declan's book covers and torture him into letting me read his books before they come out. 

Last week, Declan mentioned failure in his post. Okay, he's mentioned it in other posts as well. And I think a few of his haters have mentioned it as well. So I thought I'd address failure in this blog.

I don't accept failure. Suck it up Sweetheart, Failure will not be tolerated.

From anyone.

SEE THROUGH THE LIES OF FAILURE

The thing about failure is that it is subjective. It's all in how you set up your expectations and how you look at success. It is not an indicator of who you are or your level of talent or skill.

Failure is an indicator that you did not meet the expectations you set for yourself. It does not mean that you can never meet those expectations, only that you haven't...yet. You'll get there eventually, just keep going.

For example, I have my first book coming out in March. Now, if I expect that everyone is going to love it and that I'm going to have sales to the tune of those earned by JK Rowling or Stephanie Meyer, well I'm going to fail. My expectations are way above what reality will support.

I could wallow in the injustice over people not seeing how great of an author I am. (I am really, buy my book) Or I could reassess my expectations to something that are reasonable. Like say selling a few copies to friends and family because I nagged them into it. Anything beyond that is icing on the cake.

Or, I could also look at the fact that I have written a book, which is more than millions of other people have done. Of course, next to Declan's 15 or so books he's published in the same number of years, my lowly one looks like a failure. But, for me, it's a success. I have my first book published. I can check that off and move on to my next goal.

HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF

When things don't go the way you expect, you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself, down that margarita and take another run at it. (Maybe have two margaritas...they are yummy) Yup, it gets tiring. Yup, it gets frustrating. Yup, after ten years of writing, even I want to give up.

There is a saying that life is like a car with a huge windshield and iddy bitty mirror. The reason is that you should spend more time looking forward than looking back. It makes sense.

But, sometimes you just need to stop once in a while and look back at all of your successes.

I have a stack of magazines in a plastic tote that includes almost every article I've ever had in print. It's a nice visual of the success I've had as a writer. I also used to make a list of accomplishments, both big and small so that I could "see" how far I've come since starting. When I look back at what I've done rather than focusing on where I'm going (aka what I haven't done yet), I'm always amazed and a little impressed. This keeps me moving forward rather than giving up.

ALTER THE DEAL TO CREATE SUCCESSES

First, never ever ever compare yourself to someone else (like I did earlier) it sets you up for disappointment. You can never follow another's path, you have to forge your own. If you need a visual, make one, then post it so that you can see your progress. If you're moving toward your goal, even if it's very slowly, you are succeeding.

Second, create small goals that are easily accomplished. "Whoohoo. I made a new contact on
Twitter.", "Whoohoo. I got a new review", "Whoohoo. I got dressed like a normal person." They might not seem like much, but like pennies they add up.

Third, reassess your goals on a regular basis. Adjust them accordingly. Goals are not set in stone. If you don't meet the goal, change it or break it down into smaller goals. Make the goal fit work for you.

BECOME THE MASTER

No one Masters anything overnight. It takes years of hard work and dedication. Writing is no different. Some people get lucky and find fame and riches early on, but that is not the norm. The norm is busting your rump trying to get your book noticed in a pile of several million other books.

Success doesn't come with sitting around waiting for something to happen. It takes practice. It takes finding new ways to get where you want to go. It takes having faith that you will get there...eventually.

RELEASE YOUR ANGER

Everyone comes across that one jerk. You know the one. They have to tear other people down because they are unhappy with their own successes. 

Well, this is what I have to say to them...Kiss my bright white ass.

Don't let them destroy your faith in yourself. Don't let them derail your progress. Drive around those losers, focus on your goals and leave them in the dust.

Your successes are yours and they can never be taken from you.

I AM YOUR FATHER

Oh, sorry, got carried away there. No, I'm not your father. I'm not even your mother...unless you're name is Andrew and happen to look like a much taller male version of me...then maybe I am.

Now, go out and be the success I know you are. LET SUCCESS RUN THROUGH YOU

Psst...you. Yes you. The one that just finished reading the post. I've got something for you. A free copy of Bad Date by Declan Finn. Just sign up for his email list to get it. You'll also get 2-3 emails a month from Declan with added extras that no one else gets, plus advance notice of sales and appearances. It's an easy success...go for it.

And check out his books on Amazon.

  

Making the rounds

I'm not so much lazy this week as I am busy. Silver Empire got back to me with edits for A Pius Man ... actually, they got back to me with them a month ago, but Gmail decided to play games.

Thankfully, more and more people are interested in my lately, and I've made some appearances on their sites.

Bokerah Brumley, who was a guest on the radio show a while back, invited me to do a guest blog.

Book Horde also had me do a guest blog.

And I did an author interview

Oh, and I'm posting on the Superversive SF blog!

And in other news ... I've been suggested for a book of the year. Yes. Really. Both Brian Niemeier and JD Cowan nominated Murphy's Law ofVampires for the 2016 Planetary Award .... I don't even know what that award is, and I'm blown away by the fact that these two enjoyed Murphy's that much. This isn't bad for a novel that I thought would suffer from that "annoying trope of trilogies where the second book is superfluous and is merely treading water to the final book" -- when Mr. Cowan deliberately noted in his review that I had completely and utterly avoided that trope, I was flooded with so much relief, it's hard to describe. I'm flattered, admired, and so blown away, I have to pull out this meme again.

So, yeah, I'm going the rounds apparently.

Not bad for someone with a failing book business, is it? Heh.

Speaking of business ....

If you haven't already, check out some of the books below.

And if you have, please leave a review.

Thanks.

    

Guest blog: Amie Gibbons's "Making it" List

Author Amie Gibbons offered me a guest post for the blog. I, being a burnout case lately, agreed.

Amie’s Author Makin’ It Alphabet List

This is a shameless ripoff of Larry’s List of Author Success.  It was funny and seemed spot on, but I kept comparing it to places I’d be in my own life if I made that much so I decided to just write mine down.

A: I Can’t Even Imagine Having That Much Money!!!  All the $s:
More money than the Queen of England, could buy an island, could buy a president (What! I wanna be that person pulling the strings behind the scenes. Do I bash your dreams?), sets up a trust for a scholarship to a private university that’ll fund kids going there for hundreds of years.

B: Nope, Still Can’t Imagine It: $$$$$$$$$$
You have huge TV shows/movies based on your books, are a household name, can buy a few Senators, go on talk shows for your books (It theoretically happens), have lessor authors actually write your books under your name, and don’t even bother going to cons because you’re above mixing with the hoi polloi of common street writers.

C: Could Pay Off Law/Med School Loans With One Year’s Net Earnings: $$$$$$$$$
Otherwise known as The Dreammmmmm.  This is around where Larry is (I’m guessing based on his descriptions.)  You could pay expenses, taxes and then write a check for those loans in one fell swoop and still live for the year.  For normal people who didn’t bet their future on a brand name law school, substitute house for law school.  And after that first year, you have enough money each year to help out poor students of your choice by paying their tuition in a scholarship or two.

You’re also probably the guest of honor at a con or two a year and have signings with hour long lines.

D: The Top 1%: $$$$$$$$
According to some BS literary journalists (I use journalist as loosely as possible because you know they do), these are the authors raking in at least a hundred thousand a year.  They don’t count Indie authors, so if you’re Indie, you don’t get to be on this list because some literary fop who couldn’t make it as an author and became a magazine writer says so.

E. The Indie Authors Top 1%: $$$$$$$$
You make as much as (probably more than) the D list, but can’t be there because you’re “not a real author.”  And it’s still in the arena of enough money to pay off those student loans, it just may take you two years instead of one.  Or you could buy a Congress person, invest enough to be at risk of being accused of insider trading if you know anything, or buy that stupid literary mag… just because you could.  You go to the cons as a guest of honor, a normal guest, whatever.  You’re doing well and want to help the newbies learn.

F. Livin’ Large and Lovin’ Life: $$$$$$$
You’re living comfortably, paying those student loans off at a steady pace that’ll get them out of the way in a very reasonable five years or so, buying a new car, and looking into running for state judge, legislator or local mayor with your own funds.  It’s probably not enough to buy the election, but hey, that law degree has to be good for something, at least enough to make you more qualified than the jokers actually in office.

G. Professional and Proud: $$$$$$
You live off your writing, and it’s enough to live comfortably and pay off some amount of those loans. Not fast, but you make your monthly payments to get the suckers out on the ten year plan.  You have some savings after that and are considering a new house, or at least a new car.  And your spouse is no longer carrying your ass like they have been since you quit your day job.

H. Quit The Day Job! $$$$$
You make enough that you make more by writing and marketing your books during the time you were doing your day job than you would by “authoring” at night and doing your day job.  You are making the ten year loan payments but are really glad your spouse is covering the house payments and half the utilities because if you lived on your own, you’d be seriously pinched.

I. You Would Quit The Day Job If It Weren’t For Those Pesky Loans: $$$$
You make enough that you could live off your writing, but can’t get rid of that extra income just yet because of those damn student loans. You’re finally paying them down though, so go you!  You pay the loans with day job money and food/utilities with your book profits, even have money left over to go clothes shopping!  If you weren’t too exhausted after your two jobs to go do something, of course.

J. Wow, People Think I’m a Real Author? $$$
You make more as an author than you did in your first job out of school. In all fairness, you weren’t making that much because it was a BS public interest job you took to get experience so you could get a real job, because these days that big, expensive grad degree just doesn’t mean that much… no matter what they charge.  But hey, you’re paying your loans down between the two jobs, so it wasn’t the biggest mistake of your life, right?  Right?  Maybe it’s a good time to spring for another expensive bottle of something or other because you have enough profit for a splurge here and there.

K. Quarterly Taxes Are Bullshit! $$
I can’t believe I have to do this four times a year!  Who came up with this *%#$ rule?  Wait, that means I’m starting to make it, right?  I have enough that I have to deal with this bullshit even after taking the taxes I go over and would usually be my refund from my day job and my author expenses into account.  That’s pretty cool.  And I can pay expenses and my loans with my spouse covering my ass on the house… as long as we don’t have kids for ten years.

L. Shopping Spreeeeeeeee! $$
You made enough one month to go shopping from your profits  (the real profits, the ones you calculate after you take expenses and taxes into consideration) after you pay your bills.  And this is real shopping.  The I’m buying silk, suits, shoes and scotch shopping, and then getting a fancy ergonomic chair to do the writing in… that last one counts as a business expense, right?  Maybe it’s time to get an accountant.  Wait, have I made enough to have to pay quarterly taxes?  It’s definitely time to get an accountant.

M. Time To Pop The Champagne! $
Holy shit!  You made as much off one book in a year as you would’ve if you had gotten a deal with the Big 5 with a typical new author advance.  That means you made it!  You’re an author!  You get an expensive bottle of champagne and pop it.  And after the euphoria wears off, you realize that’s not that much money.  It’s enough to cover your half of the bills if you stop blowing the money on booze and dinners out though.  Not bad.

N. I Can Actually Pay For Something Monthly With My Profits?!?! 1/2$
Checking Amazon once an hour to see where your royalties are, checking CreateSpace at least three times a day to see paper sales, and getting a happy every time someone buys something or there’s a spike in KU sales. Calculating at least once a day how much you’ll make over the year if the trend keeps up, and crashing whenever your sales do because that’s all you’ll make ever and since sales went down you must be a failure and it’s time to just give up and focus on your day career, and hey, sales went back up, you’re happy again.  And doing the math, you can pay your phone bill from profits as long as sales don’t go down again… oh crap, why do they keep going up and down like that?
You do conventions to network and shove your books down the throats of anyone who comes to your panels.
(This may or may not be where this author happens to be hanging out right now.)

O. I’m An Author! 1/4$
Published some shorts or a book so you’re getting some sort of monthly royalties, got something published in a magazine for a one time payout and get to tell people at work you’re an author!  You start planning what you’ll buy when you make it big and dream about how quickly you could pay off your student loans while you’re at it.  You take your spouse out to dinner and that’s pretty much all the profit you’ve made so far.
The average literary writer who won some award or got something published in one of those literary magazines that at least pay the writers, so that’s something.

P. Literary Fop $?
You tell everyone in your writer groups you’re a real writer, while they are just commercial and you’ve sold stuff, but can’t tell anyone where it is because, well, reasons.  But they exist and you are the only real writer there.  And you proceed to tell all the writers in your group about how bad and shallow their writing is, while yours is deep and symbolic so you’re going to get published soon.  You’ve got an agent, which means it’s only a matter of time until you get published and of course the house is going to put their all behind promoting you so you’ll make it big overnight, so there.

Q: All Bow Before The Next Dickens… Emphasis On The Dick: 0$
You work at Starbucks, but that’s just while you finish the next great American novel.  You’re going to be a star, like J.K. Rowling, but not all commercial like she is.  You’re going to be rich and famous on true literary merit.  You have an MFA in creative writing so you know what you’re talking about.
If you stay here, you may become a high school English teacher or a creative writing professor in college who will churn out other P and Q-holes.

R: Couldn’t Make It As Authors:
So they became editors and agents.  Not necessarily a bad thing.  Some people are great at reading, editing and analyzing without having the ideas or the wherewithal to become authors.  It’s what they do in this position that makes them good or bad.

S: Yeah, I’m A Writer, I Guess: $0 (so far)
The people who have written a few books and shorts but know enough to know they aren’t up to par… Yet.  You made the basic newbie mistakes and are pounding out words every day whenever you can get away from work and life.  You already know this is a profession and you have to put in the work, and you’re well on your way.  You’re the future of writing.

T: Dude, I’m Totally A Writer Too! (Never gonna have $$$$$)
The guy who says he’s a writer too and goes on to describe his amazing book.  Sure, it’s not done, but he has a few chapters and wouldn’t you like to read them and tell him how brilliant he is?

U: Starting To Write But Not Really Telling Anyone Yet: (Not thinking about the $ yet.)
The people who’ve started writing, don’t know what’s going to become of it besides the fact that it’s a fun hobby.  You can go from here to S or T.  If you find yourself saying how cool your book is and doesn’t someone want to read the rough draft, go home, grab a drink, and keep writing, sparky.

V: I’ve Got This Great Idea!
Sit here and let me tell you about it… half an hour later: so that’s brilliant, right?  So I’m thinking you write it and we’ll totally split the royalties.  50/50 sound fair?

W: The Writer’s Group Troll: (No $, no sense, no respect, just no.)
They’re in the writing group, they do write, or so they say, and they just love to tear up everybody’s work.  They rip your work up because they don’t like your politics, they tell you that you need to explain every tiny detail in the first chapter for “world building,” which would just destroy your book because it’d be so boring.
These are also the people that hang out on review sites or have blogs, tearing up others’ work under the guise of reviewing.

X: The Subterrestrials on File 770 and 4Chan: (No $ ever, probably don’t even have one job, let alone a second one as an author.)
These are the people sitting in their parent’s basements and ripping apart authors, actors, photographers, basically anyone who dares put anything out there.
This is the dark part of the internet, that shadowy place is outside our borders.  You must never go there, Simba.
No, really, don’t go there.  Not because those pussies are dangerous. (No offense to real cats, who, even though they’re neutered, have more balls than those wankers.)  But because if you go there, you’ll get violent when you see what they’re saying about your friends and you can’t afford that good of a lawyer yet.

Y: The Anti-Authors: -$
The people who get jobs as literary critics or just write about it in whatever passes for journalism online these days.  Technically they get paid, but they do it at the expense of real authors, which is why they’re the negative dollars.  They pass judgement from on high, and might have a government grant or two to produce “art” but never actually stop drinking long enough to do it.

Z: Politicians Getting Illegal Campaign Contributions… I Mean Advances.
And the cream of the creepy… drum roll please.
Politicians!
Publishers give them great huge brib… I mean advances, the politician gets a ghost writer to write some non fiction thing about their life or their thoughts (which are created by other people who are footing the bill for the politician) and then people buy the book so they can put it on their coffee table and tell their friends they are up on the issues and cultured.

Alright!  That took so much longer than it was supposed to.  I am literally a starving artist right now.
And since I’m a starving artist and still figuring out this marketing thing, here’s an oh so subtle push of my new book, Psychic Undercover (with the Undead),

Singers are a dime a dozen in Nashville, so despite her mama's urging, psychic Ariana Ryder's working her way towards a career in law enforcement at the FBI, one tray of fetched coffee at a time, instead. She's got an extremely handsome boss, a dancing partner among the lab techs, and a solid year as the team rookie under her belt...

Right until the director gives her a big break, working undercover as a singer at a club to investigate why it's being targeted by a serial killer. This might have worked better if the club didn’t happen to be a vampire nest.

Now, with the vampire's investigator, Quil, on her case, the jurisdictional battle isn't the only thing heating up as they race to solve the case before the killer strikes again!*

*Vampires aren't the only things that go bump in the night...

Destroying our heroes -- William Lehman on Captain America, a Guest Post

After my little piece on Steve Rogers going Hydra agent from forever ago, (because you know, that makes such perfect sense), William Lehman wanted to take a crack at it, too.

For those of you who may not recall Mister Lehman, he made a brief appearance in Sad Puppies Bite Back. He's also one of the folks I work with over at Otherwhere Gazette, and he's the author of Harvest of Evil, and the upcoming sequel, Keeping the Faith, which I've had the honor of reading for review (it'll come up after the book hits on Amazon).

The really short version is he's a former navy man (submarines) and has been reading SF since forever. And I'd like to thank him for putting this much thought into a guest post.

Enjoy.

Destroying our heroes

So now, I’m told that Steve Rogers is, and always was, a Nazi. Ya know, in the great circus that is life, such a little thing as this, and compared to a possible war with China, the disaster that this presidential election is, a Submarine nuclear missile capable North Korea, a president that's selling our country down the unsanitary estuary, the trials and tribulations of my own life etc. et al. This is really a little thing, should not bother me, but it does.

I quit reading comic books in fourth grade or so (that would have been in the 1970s) so it's truly only of academic and theoretical interest... But it still pisses me off, and way more than it should.

The thing is this: we (and by we, I mean society and specifically you rat bastard self-designated keepers of society's values, IE the media) have gone about utterly destroying anything like a good role model, first:

By destroying any dead man's legacy, if they were the sorts of role models that existed in the era prior to 1970, which could be found.

Then by making sure that everyone knows the failings and falling short of any living man who might step up to be a hero.

Now because that isn't enough, we're going to destroy any FICTIONAL character that may be considered a role model!

Then we (again that societal we) will sit around and wring our hands at how the criminal element is so strong, the men are brutes, the women are sluts, drug addiction and crime in the streets etc etc etc.

The author of this particular bit of buggery says: “We knew it would be like slapping people in the face," confessed Brevoort. "The idea of Captain America means something very primal and very strong to the people of this nation, and they have a very visceral reaction when you get to something like that. You want people to feel and react to your story. So far, so good.” OK so he admits that he’s trying to piss off his audience…

Now I am aware that there is a certain section of the artistic community that feels that if they’re not offending and shocking their audience, they’re not making “art”. As an aside, I note that this same set of Avant Guard morons can’t figure out why they aren’t making any money, and write it off to “the fools just can’t understand my work”. This mind set has however, no place in Comic books for pity’s sake!

I can’t say that I’ll make the coffers of Marvel any smaller by boycotting their work, because as I mentioned, the last time I bought a comic book it was with lawn mowing money. Still, I think this goes to damn far.

Further I see this as part of a grand conspiracy. Now, hold on, before you tell me my tin foil hat is too tight, I’m not saying that the members of this conspiracy ACTIVELY conspired, each and every one of them, to tear apart the values of the nation. It’s not that simple. What I am saying is that the news headquarters for all the major news networks, newspaper conglomerates, publishers, etc (the self-designated arbiters of culture) are clustered in two relatively small areas (I’m talking 40 miles square or so each) and they all know and party with each other. They all go to the same schools, send their children and protégés to the same schools, and have a “group think”.

We saw our first evidence of that group think back in 1968, when someone that I had admired, and as the child that I was then, believed, told me that the Tet offensive was a horrible defeat, and we had lost Vietnam. I was raised thinking that Walter Cronkite was “the most honest man on TV”, so when he says we got our butt kicked in ‘Nam, well of course I and my family believed him. As we know now, that was bullshit. The Tet was a massive disaster militarily for the NVA, and in fact we never again faced them on the field of battle. The Tet should have been their Collodion Fields. It wasn’t, because after we destroyed over half their troops on the field, in exchange for casualties that were damn light in comparison we allowed ourselves to be told we had lost the battle and the war.

It was shortly after that, we started seeing the rise of the “anti-hero” in the media, and on the screen, and we started reading articles about how Audi Murphy was an alcoholic and general dirt-bag, Babe Ruth was an alcoholic womanizing racist, Captain O’Kane and Adm Burke where genocidal, etc…

Oh I’m sure that there’s no one guy sitting back in a room somewhere orchestrating this stuff (though if I had to list a suspect, George Soros leaps immediately to mind) No it’s more of a group think thing, done by conversations at dinner parties, and over drinks. It’s created by contempt for the masses of this country that live in what these folks dismissively call “fly over country”.

It’s an attempt to “fundamentally change” America (now where have I heard that before?) And now that they’ve destroyed all the living and dead heroes that they can, they’re going after those that exist only in our imaginations, because in spite of everything they’ve done to date, there are still those that cling to their values of honesty, loyalty, patriotism, liberty etc… and these things are anathema to the left.

There seems to be this idea that if we can just get the kids early enough, we’ll have achieved our goal of making the nation over in our image. So suddenly we get dark and brooding superman, who wonders if saving the nation and the whole “Truth, Liberty and the American way” thing is right after all. And we get THIS SHIT, a Captain America who’s secretly a Hydra agent. (of course all of his story to date would indicate that he’s the WORST secret agent in history, as he’s foiled more plots by Hydra, and stopped more global domination schemes by them than Michael Moore has eaten cheeseburgers) I say ENOUGH. These clods have not only declared a social-political war for the heart of America, they’ve decided to use my children and grandchildren as pawns in the fight.

Folks it’s time to fight back. Fight with your wallet, fight with your stories and tales of heroism and bravery, and if it comes to it, fight with that fourth box we really don’t want to break open.

Guest post: The Real Scandal

Declan Finn confession: I watched the first season of Scandal...okay, maybe even some of the second season (I think I gave up after a sitting President asked the first lady for a divorce -- The soap factor, it's over NINE THOUSAND).

Dawn has addressed the real Scandal of the past week. What is it? I'll let her tell you.

THIS WEEK'S STUPID.

I was going to write something mushy about Thanksgiving or being thankful, but I’ve seen too much stupid crap lately that I’m in the mood to slap stupid people.

First is Scandal. You may have heard about the recent Planned Parenthood episode of Scandal. If you haven’t, let me give you a quick rundown.

The show Scandal revolves around the exploits of Olivia Pope who makes her living covering up political scandals in DC. She is having an affair with President of the United States. It glorifies lying, cheating, stealing, torture, murder, backstabbing, infidelity and other things that normal people abhor. The show is so over acted it is ridiculous. And EVERYTHING is a world ending crisis. A Senator breaks a fingernail...the fate of the United States hangs in the balance until Olivia Pope brings in an emergency manicurist to fix it two seconds before said Senator has an interview where that broken nail could start a world war or some such. The drama is so over the top it would make a teenage girl proud.

Yes, I watch the show...or rather I did. The show is rather a lot like a traffic accident where you just can’t help but stop and stare. I also like the puzzle aspect of the plot. It starts with a problem and Pope has to find a way to make it go away one way or another. Usually that involves all sorts of nastiness, some of which bleeds into later episodes.

Sooooo...Olivia gets pregnant and “has to have” an abortion. If she doesn’t the fate of the Presidency is at risk. President Grant would lose his political power if it was found out his whore was having his baby. (Getting caught banging women who aren’t his wife didn’t seem to hurt Clinton any, but I digress.) Yes, God forbid, a person’s life would be more important than political power.  The show didn’t just reference the abortion, they thought it was a wise idea to make the entire episode a commercial for abortion “rights.” (I never could understand how it’s a right to kill another human being.)

Over at Vogue, Michelle Ruiz writes:

It was a remarkably meta moment: a fictional politician tackling the real-life assault on abortion rights and women’s health at the very moment when it remains timely and pressing. Not only did the episode begin the process of destigmatizing abortion on television, but as Planned Parenthood said in a statement after the episode, “The millions of people who tune in to Scandal every Thursday night learned that our rights to reproductive healthcare are under attack.”

The stupid in that statement is mindblowing. People don’t watch that show for political commentary or for life tips. These people are deluding themselves if they think that abortion on Scandal does anything but make it look as bad and as selfish an action as it is. I mean come on. Olivia is no teenage girl who falls for the bullshit that sex comes without consequences and gets knocked up. She is a grown ass woman who is unapologetically the whore for a married man. She didn’t choose an abortion because she didn’t think she had any other options, it was political decision.

On the other side of the fence, there have been boycotts and hand ringing over this single episode. Um...hello. The entire show is about using and tossing away people. Killing a child is well within the realm of vileness that is Scandal. Everyone, and I mean everyone, is expendable on that show as long as it’s done in the interests of gaining more political power. The characters are not sympathetic and when bad things happen to them, the first thought is “they got what was coming.” Get with the program.

Second on my list is the Reproductive Freedom Festival being put on by a Words of Choice blog. (No I’m not linking to the site. It’s nasty. Trust me on this.) They claim to be “pro-women’s rights, pro-human rights, pro-reproductive rights, pro-reproductive justice and pro-choice.”

One of those things just doesn’t go with the rest. How the hell can you be pro-human rights if one of the things you support is killing humans? The stupid is beyond words.

They are wanting short theatrical works that celebrate the dismembering of children that they can perform live in New York City next year. Oh yay. Exactly what no one in their right mind would ever go to see.

Anyways...that is all the stupid I can handle for now. I may be back with more at a later date. Ciao.