Marvel's Nick Spencer Works for Hydra

You know, I was relatively certain that Marvel comics couldn't get any worse. When they made Captain America himself an Agent of Hydra, they first said,

This is not a clone, not an imposter, not mind control, not someone else acting through Steve. This really is Steve Rogers, Captain America himself.

It's really, truly honestly not a gimmick. Honest. 

The current author, Nick Spencer, revealed himself to be a troll, and hated conservatives -- to no one's surprise -- and is probably antisemitic, as he makes the creation of two Jews into a Nazi.

Within the month, it was spun back the other way. Nope, a sapient Cosmic Cube with a will of its own has rewritten history.  In short, Marvel and Spencer lied to our faces, and called us stupid if we said that he was full of crap.

But now, wait, IT GETS BETTER.

Because now, they've started yet another SUPER DUPER MEGA COMIC BOOK EVENT, wherein they have decided that, once more, Captain America was always a Nazi. 

Again.

In fact, not only was Steve Rogers always a Nazis, Rogers had actually FORGOTTEN he was a Hydra Agent. The Sapient Cosmic Cube? The super powered doohickey that can rewrite reality? It only reverted Steve Rogers BACK to being an Agent of Hydra...

Uh huh.

Let's get this right: Captain America was always a Nazi agent, but reality had been rewritten so that Captain America wouldn't know that he was working for Hydra. But now, reality has just been rewritten BACK so that Captain America was now, and always has been, a Hydra Agent.

Well ... that was stupid.

We are also back to insisting that this will always and forever be the Truth of Captain America.

Uh huh. 

No.

Seriously, no. Marvel Comics, as a publisher of comic books, is done. Finished. Doomed. Obviously, they think their audience is too stupid to live. But I don't even think 12 year olds are going to put up with this bull -- or believe it. Because of course Steve Rogers will become the good guy again. Why? Because he's one of their lead IPs. You don't burn that bridge.

Okay, they can burn that bridge, but only until Disney comes back, smacks them around, and explains that the comics must continue in order for Disney to keep the film rights.

But it's too late. Marvel comics is done. Burn the whole building down. They're cooked. Enough is enough. There is no coming back from this. Fire everybody, scrap their storylines, and set the building on fire with them in it, and readers aren't going to put up with this crap. There's insulting the intelligence of the readers, and then there's treating them like crap, lying to them endlessly, and then smiling in their faces and telling them to like it or else. 

Screw you, Nick Spencer. You're trying to have it both ways, and it's not working, and it will not work. We'll find out that this was all a very elaborate scheme by Hydra to trick Captain America into pickng the wrong reality. I'm sure we'll even discover that Red Skull is behind it, even though he's dead.

Oh, wait, didn't I mention? Red Skull is supposed to have been killed ... again ... by Steve Rogers. Yes, you heard it here folks, Captain America assassinated he Red Skull in order to take over Hydra. 

Yes. In case you thought it couldn't get any more stupid. The hits just keep on coming.

I guess Nick Spencer wants to just keep pushing the "America is racist" narrative. 

This major super-duper world shaking event du jour is called Secret Empire. It's supposed to be the last ditch effort of Marvel to make political comic book story lines. 

I guess no one told him that we don't care, nor do we believe him. It's comic books. There are no permanent changes. Don't believe me, just ask the Grim Reaper of comic books about his revolving door policy of dead superheroes,

And, somehow, rewriting Captain America's memories, and all of reality, is supposed to explain this.

Yes, that's right. The magical / mystical object can't see through the "false goodness" of Steve Rogers, and the Cosmic Cube made him capable of wielding it on the field of battle.

[head desk] [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]   

.... I feel better down. I think I just rid myself of the dead and dying brain cells that Nick Spencer BROKE with this endless stupidity. 

To Nick Spencer, you fatuous, fascist f**ktard: just out yourself as an Antifa a-hole, grab your ISIS costume with the rest of your Antifa mates, and then go ahead and attack some defenders of the first amendment. I'm sick of your crap, and so is everyone else. Sam Wilson had become a racist, dickless wonder, and Steve Rogers has become a Nazi?

Screw you, and the house of mouse. Marvel is dead to me. And my friends. And my family. Captain America stopped during Ed Brubaker's run, he came back from the dead, retired, and lived happily ever after with Sharon Carter. Or perhaps found a time machine, went back in time, and went into hiding with Peggy Carter after they got married. Or a hundred different, better scenarios that I can come up with in my sleep that are better than this bullcrap. 

Guess what, Spencer, if you don't like heroes to be, you know, heroic, how about you get into a different line of work, like writing screenplays for Zach Snyder, or write for Top Cow's Millarworld, with all the other amoral, immoral, vile douche bags. The only reason you're currently employed is that Marvel doesn't care about sales anymore. 

Marvel will lie, BS, bluster and bloviate about why their sales suck, but they would rather cut their own throats with political message screeds and bleed out all over the fan base than believe in truth, justice, the American way, values, morals, ethics, or anything that is commonly acknowledged as an objective good. 

Right now, as far as I'm concerned, Marvel has been living in an elseworld's nightmare created by Mephisto, and until the last ten years of writing, and writers, have been stricken from the history of the company, I can't even imagine looking at a Marvel comic, unless I need something to burn in the fireplace to keep me warm at nice. And I'm afraid that the toxic fumes from all the stupid in the pages might not even make that worth it.

Dear Marvel and Disney, if you ever want to write good stories again, give me a call. I have a list of authors who would happily rip out all garbage clogging the pipeline, and get your comic books back into the top twenty list of comic sales. 

Until then, for those of you reading this blog, here: I have a whole list of recommended books right year that you should at least try reading.  And if you want to keep up with news updates, here's my mailing list, it comes with free stuff.

And Marvel, you sacks of crap very careful where you tread. You wouldn't want to step on James Gunn's toes while he's doing the Guardians of the Galaxy films, or the Russo brothers when they next bring Captain America to the screen. They may just have to step on you.

A whole bunch of books better than marvel comics right now.

The Love at First Bite series. 

    

More Disasters to Marvel At, a Fisk

Marvel doesn't learn. In fact, they've doubled down on their stupid.

Many moons ago, I wrote up an evaluation of everything wrong with Marvel comics, where I concluded that Disney should have Joe Quesada walk the plank off the top of Marvel's office building. 

They have since doubled down on the stupid by adding POLITICS to the mess.

And now, the VP of Marvel is declaring ..... that the problem is the readers.

Yup, you read that correctly: the problem isn't that the writing sucks, the characters, premises, politics, and situations are forced, or that gender and pallet swapping heroes in the name of "diversity" is an unoriginal and stupid idea. No, the problem is YOU. YOU, dear reader, have been proclaimed by Marvel to be the problem. YOU are the racist / sexist / homophobe who just can't understand all of their brilliant concepts and ideas.

..... So, obviously, we are so stupid, they're obviously too smart for us, and can't be tainted by our money.

Yeah, seriously, I was out of the Marvel market after One More Day, and they only got dumber from there. Since then, they've only made things more and more idiotic since then.

And, yes, for the record, I have serious problems with the new Ms. Marvel. Not because she's Muslim. Not because they've replaced one Ms. Marvel with another (Carol Danvers got promoted to Captain Marvel, which makes a certain level of sense), but ... Well, I'll give you a hint.

Fans of the film The Incredibles will see my problem immediately.

If you thought that capes were a problem, look at this design. It's supposed to be some sort of headscarf variant, but good God, if it gets caught on anything, it's going to take her head off. Forget flying through the air, or getting caught on wreckage, she'd be decapitated riding on a roller coaster. 

Oh, and speaking of Captain Marvel, apparently, Miss Marvel decided to become a fascist in Civil War II.

And one cover of Mockingbird was literally "Ask me about my feminist politics."

Yes, really. In a comic book where I want to see Spider Man beat up Venom, or vice versa, they want to stuff politics in there. 

You know, Marvel guys, it was really bad enough that the original Civil War was a piss-poor analogy on the War on Terror -- with conflicting plotlines, story ideas, concepts of what the original Superhero Registration act even had, and sticking heroes in a prison that made real life GITMO look like day care -- but going into full on, real world politics? Are you stupid over at 666 5th Avenue?

Yes. Yes you are.

Let's look at this interview with Marvel VP of Sales David Gabriel, shall we?

What we heard was that people didn’t want any more diversity. They didn’t want female characters out there. That’s what we heard, whether we believe that or not. 

Okay, I already have to stop. Hey, dummy, you're the VP of SALES. Have you NOT NOTICED that Marvel doesn't have many (or any, depending on the month) titles in the bestseller's column? So that means that EVERYBODY is getting screwed -- Daredevil, Spider Man, Hulk, Captain America, etc.

Seriously, Gabriel, you're VP of sales. Do you even math, bro? Seriously, are the sales of Captain America UP since he said "Hail Hydra," and your people treated the readers like idiots until the next issue came out and they retracted nearly everything they said?

Oh, and "That's what we heard, whether we believe it or not?" Hey, dummy, your sales are tanking. Believe in the power of the purse. People have voted with their feet, and they are moving.

In fact, his next sentence is:

I don’t know that that’s really true, but that’s what we saw in sales. 

Shocking, huh? Math. It's a thing. Use it.

We saw the sales of any character that was diverse, any character that was new, our female characters, anything that was not a core Marvel character, people were turning their nose up against.

So, Hydra-Cap? Was that working? Or maybe making a MODOK supervillain that was Trump? Really? Those were working?

That was difficult for us because we had a lot of fresh, new, exciting ideas that we were trying to get out and nothing new really worked.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE FRESH, NEW OR EXCITING IDEAS! You brought in a black female, threw her in Iron Man armor, and declared her something new. You gave Jane Foster Thor's hammer. They brought in another Spider-man who was black, and made another Miss Marvel as Muslim, and then made Spider-Gwen and "Moon Girl." 

These idiots stuffed the Falcon into the Captain America suit, and somehow turned Sam Wilson into more Black Panther party propaganda than the actual character NAMED BLACK PANTHER. And guess what, people like Sam Wilson. He was one of the stars of the Captain America films. He was awesome. But no, Marvel's writing sucked, and suddenly people don't like him because he's "diverse"? Really? 

Marvel has not used one "fresh, new or exciting idea" in a decade! They're giving old branding to new people, and praying that the popularity will transfer over. It's basically a pallet and / or gender swap.

EVEN IO9 KNOWS THIS IS BS. And io9 screw up is Beth Elderkin, the creature from the black lagoon that suggested killing or castrating Puppies. Even she's not stupid enough to fall for this.

Gabriel’s point is bull****, because it shelves blame onto the readers and blatantly ignores a lot of other reasons Marvel Comics are doing terribly. For example, the crazy over-abundance of events and crossovers....They also can completely screw over beloved characters for the sake of drama, like turning Captain America into a fascist as Sam Wilson has taken his mantle.

And of course, they upped the price, and they don't have anyone in the talent pool anymore worth a damn.

I wonder if those could have anything to do with it? Hmmmmm.

When io9 comes close to the voice of sanity, we know it's time to start firing people at Marvel.

Here, have some books that are more superhero focused than Marvel yesterday.

And they're cheaper than come comic book.

The Love at First Bite series. 

    

15 Movies Where the Guy DOESN'T Get the Girl

My family makes lists. We've done it for a very long time. After watching one of the following movies, we started assembling THIS list.

Easily 95% of Hollywood stories end with boy get girl, and vice versa. Personally, I'm a fan of this ending. I'm a romantic, somewhere under all this cynicism. So shoot me.

But how often have you seen a film where the man and woman meet, fall in love, and DON'T go home in the end?

There be spoilers ahead, so you've been warned.

These are listed in no particular order, by the way. I will not discuss Romeo and Juliet / West Side Story, because 1) it's the same bloody story, and 2) it's been talked to death.

Shall we begin?

Casablanca

If you don't know this one by now ... where the Hell have you been? It's a classic.

Chronologically, the events are -- Boy meets girl, girl leaves boy because she discovers that she's NOT a widow, girl wanders into boy's gin joint with not-dead husband. Husband happens to be hunted by Nazis because he is THE propaganda arm of the resistance, a true leader. Boy let's girl and husband go off into the sunset, despite that he still loves her, but it's for the greater good, because the husband is needed in World War II, and he needs her. Boy walks off into the fog with his best friend.

It was a great execution, and a classic film. And if you haven't seen it ... what the bleep are you waiting for?

Gone with the Wind
Another classic film, this one is more convoluted. Girl is a whiny little brat who becomes a manipulative woman. In order to keep the family farm within the family, she goes through several men, landing, finally, on a Han Solo prototype. After putting up with years of abuse from this woman, their daughter is killed in a horse riding accident. He has no reason to stay and put up with his wife's crap anymore, and leaves her -- at pretty much the moment where she realizes that she actually loves the guy she married for his money.

Yeah, this was one screwed up dynamic from minute one. Every time I turn into this film, I tune in for Rhett Butler's scenes, and the burning of Atlanta.

When they made a sequel, several decades later, the two finally ended up together, only after she leaves the family farm behind her, deciding that her home was with the family she had created.

But the original was truly an exemplary portrayal of Dorothy Parker's line: For every bitch there is a son of a bitch.

The Bodyguard

Do I even need to bring this one up? Won a few academy awards. Girl hires boy as bodyguard -- boy is a stiff, OCD security specialist. Boy and girl take a while to warm up to each other. SPend one night together. Boy is screwed up in that he didn't maintain perfect control. Yelling ensues. Boy saves girl. Boy moves onto his next job, letting girl fly off into the sunset.

This film was carried by style as much as anything else. A great many elements of this film still hold up, strangely enough. It's odd, but it mostly works.

Dr. Kildare

An entire series of films revolved around this character, but at the end of the day, in the penultimate film, the title doctor loses his wife to -- I believe -- a traffic accident. It was out of nowhere, and surprisingly heart wrenching for a series that is largely light and breezy.

If you trip over it on TCM, I do recommend the series, if only for Lionel Barrymore.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service

Louis Armstrong's piece, "We have all the time in the world has ominous overtones in our household because of this film. It is cruel irony for this film. A new James Bond had just taken over, and married the best Bond girl ever -- Diana "Emma Peel" Rigg.

Bond gets married. Leaves the Secret Service. Drives off on his honeymoon ....

And his wife is murdered in a drive by shooting by Enst Stavro Blofeld.

.... It is possibly the only Bond film that has a real emotional ending.

The Great Gatsby

Talk about a train wreck.

Boy meets girl. Boy is from the wrong side of the tracks. Boy grows up, gets his fortune, and dedicates his entire life to getting enough cash to make the Silver Spoon girl happy. Girl is married. Boy tries to woo girl away from husband. Girl drives boy's car, and runs over a local woman. Girl's husband talks the dead woman's husband into killing boy. Boy dies. Girl wanders off with husband as though nothing happened.

This feels like the prototype of every screwed up love story ever. Why is this guy chasing this girl? He could have any woman he wants, and he focuses all of his attention on married woman who is ultimately a vapid shell of a human being. I don't understand any "romance" where a guy is treated like a doormat by the object of his affections, and he takes it until she comes around -- only in this case, she doesn't come around.

Ugh.

The Manchurian Candidate (Original)

Boy meets girl. Boy and girl are broken up by schmuck parents. Boy goes off to Vietnam. Boy is brainwashed to be an assassin when the right commands are sent. Boy is sent to murder girl's father, girl gets in the way and is killed. Boy is deprogrammed, kills his handlers, and then himself, without ever knowing that he had killed the girl he loved.

... Just ouch.

And this was  Frank Sinatra film, sans Rat Pack. Oy.

Comic Book Films

Yes, they get their own category. Why? Because you generally don't expect comic books to have Romeo and Juliet syndrome, where everything goes bad. Unless the girlfriend is murdered because the writer has no idea what to do with her.

Captain America

Boy meets girl. Boy is frozen under the ice for decades --JUST AFTER finally making a date with her.

This doesn't help when you get to part two. Girl is still alive when he comes back.  Girl has Alzheimer's... damn that was heartbreaking.

Wolverine: Origin

Stop right there, and keep reading. I see you reaching for the comments section to complain. Yes. this is a film where the boy and girl don't end up together, even if you hated the film. And it's also sort of hard when you realize that not only does she die trying to protect him, he doesn't even remember her doing it.

The Dark Knight

Talk about your train wrecks. Boy meets girl, boy loses parents. Boy dresses up like giant bat. Girl finds a nice guy. Boy decides that the nice guy means he doesn't HAVE to dress up like a giant bat. Girl is blown up by killer clown. Boy thinks she would have waited for him, even though she was going to run off with the nice guy.

Ouch.

Amazing Spider Man 2

I haven't seen this one yet, mostly because I know what happens. I was never really a fan of Gwen Stacy in the comics, but Emma Stone made me like her. I was rooting for them. And then she gets dropped off of a clock tower. Really? Couldn't have waited until film #3?

Questionable Content

These are films and setups where you look at them and go ... "Was that a romance?"


The Dain Curse

Okay, this one is screwed up.

A Dashiell Hammett book made into a film, The Dain Curse centers around a rich girl who is hip deep in problems: there's a simple murder, to start with, and then a cult (and a murder), then another murder, and a bombing, AND she's got a major drug problem. Our main character is a PI hired by the family, who is dragged down the rabbit hole.

I"m not even sure if this one even counts, really. If there's really a romantic connection between the two, or what.

Big

10 year old becomes an adult Tom Hanks. Meets adult woman. At the end of the film, he becomes a 10 year old again.

..... This one just makes my head hurt.

Count of Monte Cristo

Boy meets girl. Boy is thrown in jail. Boy comes back for revenge and finds that one of his targets married the girl. Boy destroys all of them. Girl informs boy that burning all of his bridges on a quest for revenge isn't cute or endearing, and leaves.

This one is questionable because the original love story isn't the focus of the film, or the novel -- it's the revenge. So does it count? No idea.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

Yikes. What do you do with this one? Boy meets girl. We discover girl is a Nazi. Girl also slept with boy's father. Girl goes crazy and dies when she screws with the wrong artifact.

.... I won't even touch this one.

Zorba the Greek

Again, the love story here is secondary, and perhaps even tertiary.  Boy is setting up a business. Boy meets other boy. Both boys get girls. Boy #1 loses girl because a DIFFERENT boy killed himself because she wouldn't love him, and his family murders her. Boy #2 loses girl to disease. Business falls apart in epic failure.

I'm .... not even sure where to start. So I won't.

So, what did I miss? Anything in particular? 

For books where the boy will -- most likely -- get the girl ... eventually

Try some of these

The Love at First Bite series. 

    

Election Day: Who Would Marvel and DC Vote For?

After Green Arrow / Green Lantern, Spider-Man (Peter Parker), and Batman (Bruce Wayne), Captain America, Iron Man (Tony Stark), Daredevil, Deadpool, Catwoman, Superman, Fantastic Four, and Luke Cage ....it's already been a busy day.

But for those of you just showing up, we're doing an expanded version of the 2012 post where I broke down comic book characters by politics. Because the 2016 election has been a joke since the nomination process.

This was an all day thing. One post per character ... mostly. The shorter ones will be grouped together. After all, there's no much I can do with Deadpool.

The ones done for this year include...

Captain America

Green Arrow / Green Lantern.

Spider-Man (Peter Parker)

Batman (Bruce Wayne)

Iron Man (Tony Stark)

Daredevil -- with Wilson Fisk (of course)

Deadpool -- Includes Norman Osborn and Two Face as bonus rounds

Catwoman -- with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn

Superman -- and the Hulk, and even Nick Fury

Fantastic Four -- the Penquin, Mr. Freeze, and some nonstarters

Luke Cage -- this one will surprise you

Deathstroke -- this one may not surprise you as much.

Nonstarters

These are nonstarters in general, and I couldn't really scrounge up enough of these folks for their own entry.  They are both heroes and villains. And, while I would have loved to title this post "WWJVF: Who would Joker vote for," well, he's not really that complicated.

People who I have considered and rejected doing this time out include.

The Punisher: 
He's too easy. Frank Castle doesn't care. He wants his guns, and no one will take them away. Not the mob. Not politicians. No one. Ever. He's like a Honey Badger, he just doesn't give a darn. Trump? Hillary? He would probably take one look at everyone and tell them to simply leave him alone. Or they would be dead. Period.

Doctor Strange: It is too tempting to pull him in, since his film just came out, but really, would it help that much? I'm sure he would hate Obamacare, and what's been done to the healthcare industry in general, but as Sorcerer Supreme, I'm not even sure he's registered to vote anymore. And in what dimension? Hell, have you seen how he dresses? Imagine that walking into a voting booth. Then again, he does live in Greenwich Village, so would anyone notice?

Wolverine: Canadian. And unlike Deadpool (who I'm told is also from up North), he would let that stop him.

Jessica Jones: She's too drunk to vote. Otherwise, she'd vote Hillary, or Johnson, if she was feeling more nihilistic than usual.

Joker -- As noted, he'd probably kill everyone in the polling place, and vote Johnson.

Lex Luthor -- Would vote for himself. He was President once, after all.

Wonder Woman -- won't vote, since both candidates have no military service.

Thor -- Not a citizen, and therefore, can't vote.

Loki -- As a demigod of chaos, you can almost lay money that he would vote Bernie

And, while we're all here....try Murphy's Law of Vampires, sequel to the second place Sad Puppies 4 nominee for best novel, and Dragon Award nominated novel Honor at Stake came out yesterday. 

Enjoy.

Election Day special: Who would Captain America vote for? 2016

Ah, it's election time again, and boy, do we have a crop of losers this time.

In 2012, I did a post where I broke down comic book characters by  politics and concluded who they voted for.

I think 2016 needs s similar treatment.

In the spirit of going completely and utterly over the top, I figure I would take it one step further. However, I'm going to tell you right now that this is a joke from minute one to minute last.

But then, the 2016 election has been a joke since day one.

One of the differences between this and 2012 will be that this will be an all day thing. One post per character ... mostly. The shorter ones will be grouped together. After all, there's no much I can do with Deadpool.

Captain America (Steve Rodgers, Marvel)

Pro-Army, pro-gun, pro-Apple pie, Captain America has spent his entire existence dealing with foreign policy issues.

See a bad guy? Beat them into submission, or kill them.

Someone threatens Truth, Justice, and American Way? Beat them into submission, or kill them.

On social issues, Steve would be very 1940s -- abortion was a dangerous, illegal procedure, and any pills like birth control or contraceptives were also illegal, so that entire issue is a nonstarter.

Illegal immigration? Steve Rogers served under Eisenhower, who deported over a million illegal immigrants, so he'd see no problem with that.

And now that Hillary has outed herself as being for partial birth abortion, Steve would look at her like she was the freaking anti-Christ.

Economically, Steve's attitude would probably be very much on the order of, "People get their own jobs, right? Well, a little hard work, everything will be fine."

Between those two, I think we've got a one-issue voter. Given how much of a screw up Hillary was around the Benghazi disaster, I can't imagine him voting for Hillary.

If you can't imagine Steve voting for Trump, please remember that Captain America first served under FDR, the Democrat responsible for interning thousands of Japanese, and boiled down to being a fascist. And when he came out of the ice, it was 1964, so he would have served under LBJ, the only guy in the oval office in the 20th century who could give FBR a run for his money. If Trump went full dickhead, Steve could handle Trump. He'd probably break his wrist, but he could handle Trump.

This also assumes that Trump would be a dick to Captain America. He would probably be really bloody polite.

VOTE GOES TO: Trump

Stay tuned for Batman, Iron Man, Green Arrow, Green Lantern, and more.

Or, while we're all here.... Murphy's Law of Vampires, sequel to the second place Sad Puppies 4 nominee for best novel, and Dragon Award nominated novel Honor at Stake came out yesterday. 

Enjoy.

1000 Posts Later: The Best Posts Of the Blog

And now we're here. And now we're at post #1000.

Who knew?

Now what?

Well, as per tradition, I note all of the top ten blogs of all time.

1. Who would Captain America vote for? An election special.

Four years later, this is still on the list. Originally from the 2012 election, I this one was probably carried more by Alex Ross art than anything else. But it's still going strong as the #1 blog of all time.

This was fun. I was just going over the top and insane.

But here, Captain America punching Hitler in the face.

Can we have one of Captain America punching Osama in the face? Really. Pretty please?

Yeah, I know, I should probably do this again for 2016, but no. Have you seen the cesspit of this election? No one would vote for either one of these people. I think even Captain America would punch both of them in the face. Repeatedly. The 2016 election would make Tony Stark run for President as a 3rd party candidate, and win.

2. Sad Puppies Bite Back

From April of last year, and it jumped to the #2 spot immediately. This is so successful, I made this into a novel. Yes, it's a book now. Please, feel free to to buy it.

If you have no idea what SPBB is ... click here. It is a really, really, really long flipping story. It was a one-shot that spiraled so far out of control, I really didn't see the end of it.

But people are still coming to the blog just to read them.  Well, here you go, enjoy. 

3. Sex, DC Comics, and ... wtf?

Yup, it's still in the #3 spot, and shows no signs of leaving. Ever, really.

This was right after the dawn of DC's New 52 Universes in 2011, when the comics had gone into a sideways spiral of strange. 

Catwoman screwing Batman on a roof? Check. 

Starfire becoming an amnesiac slut? Check .... except that they're not even that clear, and backtracked, rewrote, and I'm not even sure that DC Comics know what the hell they were doing then. 

I think this the popularity of this had something to do with sex being in the title. You don't even want to see what the search terms look like.

4. Disasters to Marvel At: A Comic Discussion.

From 2010, I ripped apart with every stupid decision that Marvel comics had made for the previous 5 years.  Sadly, some of those decisions are still going strong. But it's hard to figure out which ones. 

Except for One More Day. F**k that, and them, and Joe Quesada.

I think I have to do this again. Because, well, Captain America as Hydra. Gah.

Seriously, Marvel, stop it.

I'm told that OMD might be reversed. I'm not holding my breath, though.

5. Review: Tom Stranger, Interdimensional Insurance Agent.

Yay, we have a new one. Yes, a new entry. who knew? But yes, this was the review of Larry Correia's really strange audio book, narrated by the awesome Adam Baldwin.

This was almost bizarre and hilarious, and the entire review exploded onto the top ten list in a matter of days, and it took a little while longer for it to make it to the number 5 spot.

But yes, I do recommend it. It's hilarious.

Also, Wendell the Manatee.

6. Sad Puppies Bite Back (Part 2)

This one is still on the list. Again, as new as last year, but still, it's here. And, obviously, you do need to buy the book to read the whole thing now, sorry.

Historically, though, this is where things started going really odd. And I probably should have seen it coming that things were going to really go sideways ... "sideways" as in "The Puppies have taken over my blog."  I think part one got suggestions of nominating this for a "Best related" award from the Hugos. 

I would have enjoyed watching the Puppy Kickers go insane. But we can't have everything. 

Oh well. Heh. 

7. Cry Havoc! And Let Slip the Puppies of War!

From April of 2015, this was after Entertainment Weekly's libelous article about Sad Puppies, written and published without talking to anyone within Sad Puppies. At all. Yes, really.

Believe it or not, in retrospect, this was not what got me really into the Sad Puppies bandwagon. That was when someone decided to go after Brad Torgersen's wife. Then, then I had a meltdown, and decided someone needed a stern talking to.

8. #MakeItStop -- please, make the stupid stop

From this June, 2016. This is months old. Heck, in the course of a week, this shot up.

This is what happens with the use of hashtags.

I'm still blown away that, well, this was a political post. I don't do politics here. I tend to avoid them. I'm surprised anyone bothered.

And all I did was round up arguments I've seen others make online. 

Funny thing? The douchebags whining in the comments are pretty much invalidated by the existence of the truck attack last week in Nice, France.

Shocking, huh?

9. Puppies Come to WorldCon (SPBB III)

Still here from last year. This was going to be The End. Period. Dot. Final. The last straw. The Puppies were going to come to the Hugos, and it would have to end there. Why? Because there would be nothing left for me to write until the Hugos came out. It was a perfect out, right? Right?

Yes. And that worked soooo well.

10. The Dragon Awards are Here, vote Early, Vote Often.

This was a simple announcement about the Dragon Award nominees from this year. That was it. This also made it on the top ten list in a matter of weeks, if not days.

Looking over this list, I've come to the conclusion ... that I should probably make this blog all about sex, Sad Puppies, politics, book reviews, and comic books.  But then, I reach that conclusion every few hundred posts or so.  We'll see about doing that sometime next time around.

Sadly, I'm all out of Puppy material. Tomorrow, more Codename: UnSub.

Enjoy.

900 Posts later

Yup, it's blog number 900. Who knew I would last this long?

One of the things I do at this point is to note all of the top ten blogs of all time.

Though of course, first, I'm going to remind everyone that the Dragon Awards are still out there, and they're they still need voting on. So, get to it. Click here, and have fun.  If you need some suggestions, I have some for you right here.

Now, as far as the top ten biggest blogs of all time are concerned....

1. Who would Captain America vote for? An election special.

From the 2012 election, I think this one was carried more by Alex Ross art than anything else. But it's still going strong as the #1 blog of all time.

This was fun. I was just going over the top and insane.

But here, Captain America punching Hitler in the face.

Can we have one of Captain America punching Osama in the face?

2. Sad Puppies Bite Back

From April of last year. Leaped to the #2 spot immediately.

If you have no idea what SPBB is ... click the Sad Puppy Tab above. It is a really, really, really long flipping story. It was a one-shot that spiraled so far out of control, I really don't see the end of it. But people are still coming to the blog just to read them.  I may be doing a little more with this along the way.

How?  Heh heh heh.

3. Sex, DC Comics, and ... wtf?

Yup, it's still in the #3 spot. Right after the dawn of DC's New 52 Universes in 2011, the comics had gone into a sideways spiral of strange. 

Catwoman screwing Batman on a roof? Check. 

Starfire becoming an amnesiac slut? Check .... except that they're not even that clear, and backtracked, rewrote, and I'm not even sure that DC Comics know what the hell they were doing then. 

I think this the popularity of this had something to do with sex being in the title. You don't even want to see what the search terms look like.

4. Disasters to Marvel At: A Comic Discussion.

From 2010, I ripped apart with every stupid decision that Marvel comics had made for the previous 5 years.  Sadly, some of those decisions are still going strong. But it's hard to figure out which ones. 

Except for One More Day. F**k that, and them, and Joe Quesada.

I think I have to do this again. Because, well, Captain America as Hydra. Gah.

Seriously, Marvel, stop it.

5. Sad Puppies Bite Back (Part 2)

This is where things started going really odd. And I probably should have seen it coming that things were going to really go sideways ... "sideways" as in "The Puppies have taken over my blog."  I think part one got suggestions of nominating this for a "Best related" award from the Hugos. 

I would have enjoyed watching the Puppy Kickers go insane. But we can't have everything. 

Oh well. Heh. 

6. Cry Havoc! And Let Slip the Puppies of War!

From Apr of 2015, this was after Entertainment Weekly's libelous article about Sad Puppies, written and published without talking to anyone within Sad Puppies. At all. Yes, really.

Believe it or not, in retrospect, this was not what got me really into the Sad Puppies bandwagon. That was when someone decided to go after Brad Torgersen's wife. Then, then I had a meltdown, and decided someone needed a stern talking to.

7. #MakeItStop -- please, make the stupid stop

From this June, 2016. This is a month old. Heck, in the course of a week, this shot up. This is what happens with the use of hashtags.

I'm still blown away that, well, this was a political post. I don't do politics here. I tend to avoid them. I'm surprised anyone bothered.

And all I did was round up arguments I've seen others make online. 

Funny thing? The douchebags whining in the comments are pretty much invalidated by the existence of the truck attack last week in Nice, France.

Shocking, huh?

8. Review: Tom Stranger: Interdimensional Insurance Agent.

This one hit the top ten most popular posts on the blog within 24 hours of being posted.

This is what happens when authors like your reviews.

Who knew?

9. Puppies Come to WorldCon (SPBB III)

Still here from last year. This was going to be The End. Period. Dot. Final. The last straw. The Puppies were going to come to the Hugos, and it would have to end there. Why? Because there would be nothing left for me to write until the Hugos came out. It was a perfect out, right? Right?

Yes. And that worked well.

10. Strong Female Character Problems

This is from April. The entire problem of waif-fu: where tiny little girls beat up 6'5" men. No. That doesn't work. Period.

How did this make it to the top ten? Was it that good? Maybe.

It made it to Castalia House's "radar sweep" -- they liked it enough to put it up on a roundup.

Next time, let's not have tiny little girls beating up on guys about the size of Larry Correia, huh?

Looking over this list, I've come to the conclusion ... that I should probably make this blog all about sex, Sad Puppies, politics, book reviews, and comic books.  But then, I reach that conclusion every few hundred posts or so.  We'll see about doing that sometime next time around.

Sadly, I'm all out of Puppy material. Oh well. Maybe something will blow up next week.