Top 10 Christmas Classics

Tolstoy said, "All happy families are happy in the same way; all unhappy families are unhappy in their own unique way."

This, of course, as has been discussed before in a previous post, is bullcrap. Pure 100% unfettered bullcrap.

To prove it in this particular instance, take my family, please. Growing up, I had a distinct set of Christmas films. I would even go so far as to call them unique. The following list consists of these Christmas films, in no particular order; the numbers are not indicative of quality, simply to count them off.

#1 Captain Newman, MD

My family has, from time to time, described itself as "philo-semetic". that would explain why a group of Irish Catholic New Yorkers know all the words to "Hava Nagila," in English AND Hebrew. This might explain why one of these Christmas movies is written by a man named Leo Rosten.

This movie stars Tony Curtis and Angie Dickinson and Gregory Peck. If you can believe that Captain Ahab is the head doctor of a mental ward in World War II, you have a pretty good idea where this is going. This includes bit parts from James Gregory (Manchurian Candidate, Barney Miller), and also includes a bit part by Robert Duval, (The Godfather I and II, To Kill a Mockingbird).  Duval might also be familiar to people who remember the original film "MASH". If you do not remember these films, please go out and rent them, thank you.

What makes this a Christmas movie? Mostly Act Three, and the conclusion. The themes are present throughout the movie, but you don't see it until the finale.

#2 Desk Set

A charming little Tracy and Hepburn comedy, and one of the few times I really enjoy them together. It's computers versus people ... and it ends at the most wonderful time of the year.  Heh

#3 Bell Book and Candle

Jimmy Stewart is a book publisher, Kim Novak is a witch. Jack Lemmon is her insane brother. When Novak puts Stewart under her spell, the problem really becomes who ends up bewitched, bothered and bewildered. Largely a comedy that takes place over a week, from December 25th to New Years. Hilarity ensues.

#4 The Bishop's Wife


Our current generation might be aware of that particular abomination called The Preacher's Wife, which was not only a criminal waste of the acting talents of Denzel Washington and Courtney B. Vance, but was a flat-out rape of a good classic film. The original Bishop's Wife starred the always-charming David Niven (Guns of Navarone), Loretta Young, and the ubiquitous Cary Grant (Notorious, North by Northwest, any popular Hitchcock that didn't star Jimmy Stewart). If you have been fortunate enough to avoid The Preacher's Wife, an Episcopal pastor prays for aid, and he gets it in the form of angel Grant. Hilarity ensues.

This film also stars Monty Wooly, the Yale professor - turned- actor who taught Cole Porter. which leads to...

#5 The Man Who Came to Dinner

In this one, Monty Wooly stars as a beloved radio personality who makes Doctor House look warm and cuddly. He come to Small Town America, slips on the ice, and is trapped there. He is confined to the house of the family that was to host him, and proceeds to make their life a living hell, belittling them, their friends, their town, and causing general mayhem.

Also starring Bette Davis as his secretary, in possibly the only role I ever found her remotely attractive or appealing.

Also guest starring Jimmy Durante as the most bizarre deus ex machina ever. 

A more recent version stars Nathan Lane as the titular Scrooge, co-starring the ghost of Jimmy Durante. 

Speaking of Scrooge...

#6 Scrooged

One of Bill Murray's better performances outside of Ghostbusters, recasting Scrooge into the world of modern, cutthroat Wall Street, in charge of a major TV network. The four spirits that haunt this fellow cannot be translated into a Disney cartoon, unlike the original. His female lead is Karen Allen (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull). It is dark, and it is funny, despite having Bobcat Goldthwait (okay, he was funny here, and maybe Police Academy).

#7 Lethal Weapon

Even though this film has not aged well, and is populated by more psychos than a Norman Bates family reunion, it has a bizarre charm in its use of Christmas carols. Yes, I grew up with this film. I can't really watch it anymore, since so much of it creaks, but it held up for years.

#8 The Long Kiss Goodnight

A female Jason Bourne, played by Geena Davis, aided by a low-rent PI, played by the grand muthaf****r himself, Samuel L. Jackson. It is a very 90s movie, but still holds up well. It's MacGuffin ... doesn't work today, but it worked then because it was the first one to do it.

#9 and #10 Die Hard and Die Harder

I've done two blogs on why Die Hard is perfect. I don't think I really need to follow it up. But while Die Harder feels like a rehash of the first one, it has some nice twists, an interesting cast, including the late Senator Frank Thompson.



Also, if you haven't already, check out some of the books below.

Die Hard is perfect, part 2

This is a continuation of my post on why Die Hard is such a perfect movie. I suggest starting there.

Dialogue, Character, and Plot

Every line in the movie adds to the film.  Nothing is wasted. And if there is something, I can't see it.  Yes, there's a reason I'm not breaking this up, mainly the dialogue feeds into both the character and the plot ... and because character adds an extra dynamic to this plot.

The first scene alone does so much, it's stupid. Remember, the scene is John McClane talking to the passenger next to him on an airplane.  It gives him a reason to be shoeless during the movie, and establishes his profession, and is already adding to his character by both giving us his CV in a smooth, effortless way. It establishes his anxiety about flying, giving him a cute character trait.  Also, it already shows us just how much of a smartass he can be... McClane's shoeless wardrobe "choice" in the film leads into a brilliant, brilliant moment that deeply hurts him later on.

We've already covered how the Rolex adds to the plot, and that was all covered in three lines of dialogue -- it both underscores Ellis' pursuit of Holly, struts it before John McClane, and dangles this metaphorical gun in front of the audience's face without anyone realizing how integral ANY of it actually is. Ellis, who has few lines in the movie, serves many functions. One, his presence gives a counterpoint to McClane's actions throughout the film -- no matter how many gunman McClane takes out, he's still only one person. Ellis is one of the many realists in this film, but the only one who is among the hostages.

Ellis' strutting egomania, his coke problem, and his focus on Holly all culminates in the pinnacle of his arc. His egomania and his drug problem drive him to try and negotiate with Hans and company -- he thinks he can talk them down, give them what they want, and they can all go home. And while he gives them McClane's name and occupation, Ellis makes it a point to spin the story that he brought McClane to the party, and there is no mention of Holly. For such a minor character, Ellis provides a lot.... even though giving up John's name will eventually lead to Holly.  And his death is one of the few things that hurts McClane.

And that's a secondary character. Maybe even tertiary.

Dialogue establishes a lot in this movie. It establishes Mr. Takagi's character and backstory with Hans' first speech, and adds an emotional blow to Takagi's death.  The offhand lines about needing the FBI, and "it's all part of the plan" feed into the turning point of the film, and a mystery that is on par with any twist by Mission: Impossible, Leverage, or Jeffery Deaver.  In fact, I would say that Deaver was warped by Die Hard.

A lot of things in the second half of this movie are almost perfect mirrors to stuff from the first half.  The conversation between John and Holly in (what I think is) her private bathroom leads directly to a conversation that is the turning point of the film... which is also in a bathroom.  McClane is at his lowest point. He's been wounded physically and emotionally. It's the flip side of the earlier conversation with Holly, and while it's depressing, it has a point, and also accomplishes much.  McClane's relationship with the LAPD Sgt. Powell, outside of the building comes to a head, and it leads directly to the punchline.

Dialogue, and the Little Touches

And there are aspects that are not major, massive plot points, but are little things. It was Michelangelo, I think, who said that trifles make perfection, and that perfection is no trifle.  In the case of Die Hard, it's the small things that add a surprising amount of character to people who serve some very basic functions.

Heck, just look at the character shown in Hans' merry band of killers, and the LAPD, who are most assuredly the most basic part of this endeavor.

For example, look at "Karl."  He's the Bond Villain sidekick of this film.  But the first time we see him is carrying a chain saw, about to cut the phone cables for the building...and he's competing against another gunman, who's trying to either bypass the alarm for the building, or cut the phone system via a more elegant, less brutal fashion, I could never tell.  But you could tell from that scene alone that the two gunman are brothers, and that the death of the younger brother by McClane (the first gunman he kills), drives Karl throughout the film, giving him solid reasons for actions that are detrimental to Hans and his plans.

Then there's the terrorist who sets up shop in a confection stand, bringing out piles upon piles of gun magazines .... and grabs a candy bar.

Then there's Theo, the Hacker. Who gambles, likes sports and sports analogies, and takes his computer job seriously, yet treats everything else with a sense of levity.  He's dour and serious about breaking into the computer and the building's vault, but cracks jokes as he coordinates the gunmen to shoot and blow up a bunch of cops.

And then there's the chauffeur, Argyle, whose presence in the film is almost comic relief -- whether we're laughing at his obliviousness to the situation, or his line to the stuffed animal to "shut up," and even his little victory over Hans' hacker.

Conclusion

Obviously, I can go on forever about this movie (as though I haven't already), but let's face it, it's a good film with lots of little things thrown in that make it a great movie. Notice, there are a whole bunch of things I didn't mention that are also writing moments.

Such as?

Hans and McClane, face to face, giving the audience a much-needed confrontation between hero and enemy... 

Enough C4 to Orbit Arnold Schwarzenegger..."Heinrich had the detonators"... all feed into the finale...

Why Hans is possibly the most quotable movie villain ever. He's cultured, he's educated, he's well dressed, he reads all the "right" magazines, and he's such a cold-blooded, callous murderer...

How Die Hard also has elements of parody, going after both the media and the FBI.

There's a lot here, but this article is almost two thousand words long already. Though I think there's no denying that Die Hard could be used to teach writing classes.

Why Die Hard is the most perfect movie ever: A Writing Blog

I've been meaning to do this for a while now, but Die Hard is a perfect movie.

Seriously, perfect. From almost every angle.  Writing-wise, it's a textbook marvel of how to write. Cinematically, it's perfectly shot. Acting wise, it's pitch perfect.

Let me show you what I mean.  At least writing-wise.  I'm not sure I'm good enough to do this for cinematography, but I may give it a shot later on.  I started writing this expecting to go over everything I mentioned, but I may not be able to.  There's a LOT to cover in one topic alone.  In fact, I'm going to break up this blog into two parts. Maybe three.  Also, there will be a Christmas short story launching today: Deck the Maul.

And obviously, spoiler alert.

Quotable Quotes

We all know that the dialogue is brilliant. If Die Hard is not the most quoted and quotable film out there, it's probably in the top ten list.  Tell me you can't see the exact moment, or fill in the blanks of all of the following...

In German: "Karl, schieß dem Fenster."
".... and father of five."
"Happy Trails _____"
"Boom! Two points!"
"I'm going to count to three. ________ there will not be a four."
"Rumor is that Arafat buys his there."
"What kind of _____ are you?"    "Who said we were ______?"
"No Relation."
"We're going to need some more FBI guys."
"I don't want ______ I want dead."
"HHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSS.  Why'd you have to __________?"
"That man looks ________."  "He's alive. Only John _________"
And, of course, "Yippie Kay Yay, _________"

We all know that.  However, what I mean is how well the Gun in Act One is utilized.  Don't know what I mean? Also called Chekov's Gun.

DragonCon Report #3: Fightin' and Writing with Ringo; Buffy with Marsters and Landau

A Poison Ivy on line, with Zombie backup.

So, yesterday, believe it or not, didn't go exactly as planned. I would have sworn that I had filmed at least twenty minutes of the Furlan / Boxleitner panel. So much for that idea.

I had taken notes, but much of the notes I had taken had been posted online in various and sundry pieces and parts.

As I said, it wasn't exactly as I wanted it to go.

However, one of the things I did get to record involved John Ringo.  You might get the impression that John Ringo is my favorite author, given how much he's been mentioned lately (and considering my review of his latest novel). He might be, but considering that I read practically anything that's not nailed down, that would be hard for me to say.

I can tell you that it would be nice to be John Ringo when I grow up.  I'm already about as sane, but I would like to write as much, and as often ... then again, that would presume I'm also published, so....

Anyway, John Ringo appeared at one panel on the Saturday night of DragonCon, called Fightin' and Writin' ... yes, it was spelled exactly that way, try not to shoot me.  Things went a little strange with the audio, so I spliced the bad audio to the end --  the last part might be harder to hear, but it's a small part of the whole video. I thought the facts he went through are fun.

Writers really should be taking notes.

I shot her twice on two different days.
The Ivy's started to blur after a while.

Now, next, there was another panel that I was not at.

Again, it was a panel that I could not get in to.

Welcome to DragonCon.

Who was on this panel? The case of the Avengers? The leaders of a major TV show? Major film stars?

James Marsters and Juliet Landau.

If you're asking "Who?" the answer is Spike and Drusilla from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer universe.

Anyway, this will be the last video I post for this week. The last time that I did a DragonCon report, I was pounding out transcripts for a month.  I am so not doing that again.  So I'm going to take my time, and assemble a lot of my notes in an orderly fashion.

Don't be surprised if I have a whole blog dedicated to pictures at some point next week.

Now, on with the vid.