Review: Monster Hunter Files

If you don't know Larry Correia's Monster Hunter International series, this would be a place to start.

Monster Hunter Files is an anthology written (mostly) by the best fantasy authors in the business


“Thistle” by Larry Correia
Owen and his team take on a new kind of monster in Arizona -- It starts as your straightforward monster killing story. Then Larry does a twist at the end of this one that makes Rod Serling proud. I didn't see it coming, but I should have.  5/5

“Small Problems” by Jim Butcher
MHI’s new janitor has to deal with some small problems -- It's Jim Butcher. Do I have to say this one was awesome?  It's like he hasn't recovered from all of his Roman legion research from Codex Alera ... while watching The Secret of NIMH.  6/5

“Darkness Under The Mountain” by Mike Kupari
Cooper takes a freelance job in Afghanistan-- The Chinese have dug too greedily and too deep... and that's a line in the story. It's almost a Monster Hunter procedural novel, with a soupcon of MCB BS. 4/5

“A Knight Of The Enchanted Forest” by Jessica Day George
(Trailer park elves versus gnomes TURF WAR!)-- A straight up comedy from the first page, with the redneck elves, meets hippies.  4/5

“The Manticore Sanction” by John C. Wright
(Cold War era British espionage with monsters) -- This one was dark. Very British. Also very Universal monster movie... the black and white version, not the new crap with Tom Cruise. This one was ... surprisingly powerful. It left a mark.  6/5.

“The Dead Yard” by Maurice Broaddus
Trip goes to Jamaica on some family business-- It was okay. It needed more meat to it. It was awkwardly paced, and over suddenly. I think it needed more room to work. 3/5

“The Bride” by Brad R. Torgersen
Franks wasn’t the only thing Benjamin Franklin cut deals with-- BWAHAHAHAHAHAAH.  This one was awesome.  Brad writes Ben Franklin perfectly. I can hear the actor from 1776 when I read the story. Also, Franklin's a badass. Though this one pissed me off ... I wanted it to run another ten pages. Dear Larry: Can Brad write the novel on the Revolutionary War history of monster hunting? Please? 5/5

“She Bitch, Killer of Kits” (a Skinwalker Crossover Tale) by Faith Hunter
Jane Yellowrock teams up with MHI -- This was okay. I honestly think that the author is more interesting than the story she wrote. Which is odd, because the inverse is usually the case. 3/5.

“Mr. Natural” by Jody Lynn Nye
an STFU mission in the 70s has to deal with plant monsters and hippies! -- Hilarious. Fun as heck.  I deduct half a point for the bunny ex machina ending. 4.5/5

“Sons Of The Father” by Quincy J. Allen
Two young brothers discover monsters are real, and kill a mess of them -- Quincy is apparently a newb author, but I couldn't tell from the story. It was very Supernatural, if they focused more on being badass than anything else.  4/5

“The Troll Factory” by Alex Shvartsman
Heather gets some help from MHI for an STFU mission into Russia -- Yeah, this was fun. A post-Siege story. It has a nice setup of a newbie hunter, and it has an awesome, awesome punchline. 5/5

“Keep Kaiju Weird” by Kim May 
A Kitsune may have already earned her PUFF exemption, but she’s not going to let some monster squish Portland -- I really enjoyed this one. I was having flashbacks to the better episodes of Grimm, though. Heh. 5/5

“The Gift” by Steve Diamond
Two of the Vatican’s Hunters from the Blessed Order of Saint Hubert the Protector on a mission in Mexico -- I wanted to like this one more. It felt like someone condensed a novel with a lot of backgroundinformation left out. Perhaps this would work betters as the first five chapters of a full novel.  4/5 stars... maybe 3.

“The Case of the Ghastly Specter” by John Ringo
while studying at Oxford, Chad takes a case -- Was Ringo watching old Sherlock Holmes movies? There were moments when Chad sounds like Basil Rathbone. I might like this one better in the full novel of Sinners, as downtime in an action packed novel. But here, in this anthology, it just feels like the slow bit. The difference is jarring. It's still good, so I mark it a 4/5

“Huffman Strikes Back” by Bryan Thomas Schmidt & Julie Frost
Owen’s vacation gets interrupted for some monster revenge-- This was part comedy, park action scene. Either way, it was awesome. 5/5

“Hitler’s Dog” by Jonathan Maberry
(It is WW2 and Agent Franks really hates Nazis)-- Do I even have to make comments? It's Franks versus Nazis. But I think it needed a little more fleshing out. 4/5

16 great stories, at a little over a dollar a story. You can't beat this deal.

DragonCon 2017: Monster Hunter Files

Focused on the upcoming anthology of stories set in the world of Larry Correia’s Monster Hunter International! Panelists: Jim Butcher, Larry Correia, Faith Hunter, Jonathan Maberry, Jody Lynn Nye.

This is one I actually got to see, unlike many of the videos I'll be posting. However, as I noted before, the video is not mine. How can you tell? It's got film quality.

One of the authors was a last minute addition, since Kelly Lockhart had not written for this anthology, so Larry acted as moderator, and they slipped in ... Quincy? I think that's his name.

Anyway, if you're waiting for the next Monster Hunter Book, and can't wait for the Anthology, may I suggest...

Love at First Bite

Science Fiction as Epic at RavenCon 2017, 4-28

So you can compare and contrast, you can see that this was my general idea for the panel originally, as this was my first panel at a convention as a moderator.

And now, you can see how my execution was.

The Description?

Often science fiction that is epic in nature is dismissed as "space opera," but science fiction can be epic without resorting to the world destroying of Edmond Hamilton or the dogfighting X-Wings of Star Wars. What constitutes epic science fiction and what does it do that more personal stories can't?

With panelists including...

Steve White
Jack McDevitt
Charity Ayres
Nancy Northcott

The Dragon Awards are open and ready for nominations, and I have a list of suggestions you might want to take a look at. If you already  have a good idea of what you want, just click here to go and vote for them immediately. The instructions are right there.

Or: sign up for my mailing list in order to get free stuff.

The Love at First Bite series. 

    

Newsflash: Hugo Awards Swamped by Crap

This once again boils down to a, "If anyone still cares about the Hugos anymore" story.

Their pathetic list of nominations came out this year. Is anyone surprised that it's all Tor, all the time?

I'll go into detail in a minute, but let's look at one thing in particular.

Six nominees for best editor. See anything missing?

I'll give you a hint: we were all told that This Person would have almost certainly have won the Hugo award for best editor, but she lost because she was a Puppy Pick.

If you said, "Who is Toni Weisskopf, Alex?" you'd be right.

But strangely enough, Toni isn't here. But she's not a Puppy Pick this year. We were all told that she would have *won* if she weren't a Puppy Pick.

Guess what: she wouldn't have even been NOMINATED if she weren't a Puppy Pick.

They lied. Shocking, isn't it?

Yeah, I know it's not a surprise, but I can't convey the depth of my sarcasm without indulging in a dump truck's worth of hyperbole right now.

I mean, where do you want to start?

How about Best series?

The Vorkosigan Saga by Lois McMaster Bujold (Baen)
The Craft Sequence by Max Gladstone (Tor Books)
The Expanse by James S.A. Corey (Orbit US / Orbit UK)
The October Daye Books by Seanan McGuire (DAW / Corsair)
The Peter Grant / Rivers of London series by Ben Aaronovitch (Gollancz / Del Rey / DAW / Subterranean)
The Temeraire series by Naomi Novik (Del Rey / Harper Voyager UK)

Okay. Bujold is good. Novik is ... okay, I guess. I gave up after she rewrote Waterloo.

Everyone else ... should I have heard of these people? I'm almost surprised that they're just this obscure. Then again, I wouldn't have heard of Jemisin without the whole Hugo mess, so I'm not surprised.

But where's Honor Harrington?

Where's Black Tide Rising?

Where's Terry Goodkind?

Where is any of a half dozen other, good, BETTER writers? You know, the people who sell ten times the books than these folks? If these represent all of fandom, shouldn't we be expecting more best sellers on the list? After all, you become a bestseller by selling more books than other people. So ... where are the big names? There are six nominees here, but only two are people I can pick out of a lineup? Really?

But of course, this doesn't represent all of fandom, this just represents an ever shrinking niche that is WorldCon.

Best fan writer is interesting, if only because it's Mike Glyer (770), Jeffro Johnson (Castalia), Chuck Tingle (anarchist), and Foz Meadows, who I'm sure I should know of offhand, but danged if I know who it is. There's also a Natalie Luhrs and Abigail Nussbaum.

But best dramatic presentation, long form .... look at this

• Arrival -- okay. Sure. I've heard good things.
• Deadpool -- not surprised
• Hidden Figures -- Who? What? Huh?
• Rogue One -- Eh. Okay. It was entertaining.
• Stranger Things, Season One-- I've also heard good things about this.
• Ghostbusters, -- AAARRRRGGGHHH. Expect this to win. Because the Hugos

Argh, this is depressing me. Let's see if I can plow through the rest of this without getting an ulcer.

Best Related work: "Geek Feminist"? Really? Ugh. Carrie Fisher's "The Princess Diarist."  "The Women of Harry Potter." There's an Ursula Le Guin project, and a Neil Gaiman. I guess someone decided that "womyn" were the "in" thing this year. (Again, expect crap Ghostbusters to win)

Best Novel .... again, who?

Best Fanzine: Oh, Jeffro and the Castalia blog. Congrats again, man.

And, as someone just pointed out to me: all but one of the John W. Campbell Award nominees are women. What are the odds of that, considering they are "clearly an oppressed and underrepresented member of literary society?"

I guess "womyn" really were on the bullet points this year.

[EDIT.] Keep in mind, this is a list where the most votes went to Best Novel .... with a little over 2,000 votes. Jon del Arroz did a great job of showing just how bad a drop this is. A 44% drop in some cases. This has to hurt revenue.

You can see the whole list here.

But why bother? Go vote in the Dragon Awards.  Here are some suggestions.

If you want books by someone you've never heard of before, 

Here, have some of mine.

Starting with the Love at First Bite series. 

    

Review: Monster Hunter Memoirs: Sinners

John Ringo's second book in the Monster Hunter Momoirs: Sinners, is both better and worse than Grunge.

Our hero from the last book, Chad, is continuing his mission to be a Monster Hunting killing machine. Due to circumstances beyond his control, he has to leave Seattle, his home base in Grunge. After complaining -- a lot -- about never wanting to be in the heat ever again, MHI headquarters has the perfect gig for him: New Orleans. The Big Easy has got a lot of problems, and it needs all the help it can get.


Sinners does a great job of capturing the flavor of New Orleans, especially when you consider that standard policy can boil down to "Don't scare the tourists." Every local either believes in the dark arts, or practices the dark arts. Of course, we have at least one team member who really wants to turn every other beastie into jambalaya, shootouts in cities of the dead, and one massive shootout at marti gras.

Oh, yes, and for the record, Mr. Ringo, I saw what you did there with those chapter titles.

Another thing Ringo did better here than in Grunge is build an emotional connection to his teammates. At the end of Grunge, one of Chad's teammates dies.  Listening to John Ringo at DragonCon, we were supposed to feel the emotional impact of the character death. I didn't then. Here? Oh yes. Characters were much better established, and for the most part, when characters died, I felt it.

Critics of Grunge will be happy to know that Chad spends less time getting lucky and more time being pummeled. There is even less sex in this book than in Grunge, and seriously, people, he spent more time on politics than sex. And for some reason, people claimed he was a Mary Sue .... to which I will soon reply with a blog post explaining what a Mary Sue looks like, because obviously, people have little to no experience with the phenomenon. Yes, he's a super genius who's good at shooting people, but he's also hospitalized every few chapters.

The only thing that's really off-putting about this novel is the marked shift from "looking backwards."  In Grunge, there is a lot of time spend on his family, and Ringo outright states that the larger evil behind everything Chad is fighting is Chad's brother. This book? Nope. Barely a whisper of Chad's family, and not a whisper about what's the ultimate evil of the trilogy. I'm wondering how much of that is editorial, or how much was in the process of the novel. These books are thinner than Ringo's usual fair, so if you told me he wrote them as one continuous novel, broken up into a trilogy, that would explain certain things.

Also, in Grunge, time was spent on the moral of the story: "Chad" wrote each chapter to illustrate a point. Here, there's no such clear lesson plan; "Chad" does have "pro-tips" scattered throughout, but the concept seems strangely abandoned. Perhaps this is due to the chaotic nature of New Orleans, where every night is insane, and the full moon is like Arkham asylum let everyone out on a day pass, so Chad is merely fitting in tips where he can.

Heh, it's a coin toss.

Final verdict is still the same: Sinners is even better than Grunge. Go out, buy it, enjoy it, consider it for a Dragon Award next year. (No, not a Hugo. Ringo will freaking skin you alive if he found out)

Anyway, if you like this review, you might want to consider one of the following books for your reading pleasure

 

The Future of Declan Finn The Publishing Industry, and DragonCon

I went to DragonCon with a bit of a mission: to enter something close to traditional publishing.

I was actually feeling kind of good about it, especially by the time I left. I had the business card of an agent with connections to Baen and Tor. I had Jodi Lin Nye's business card. After the Dragon AWard ceremony, Baen editor Toni Weiskopf came up to me, shook my hand, and said it was nice to meet me, she had read my blog.

For that last part, I grinned like an idiot until I had to sit down. Also, it may have been because I am generally terrified of public speaking, and it only kicked in after the ceremony was over.

Ever since I got back, I've been having backroom conversations with people who have varying opinions on the publishing industry.

The short version of the conversations seem to boil down to, "Baen is okay, screw everyone else, and just self publish. You don't need no stinking agent. You just need to publish four books a year."

Uh huh. Gee. Thanks for the help.

I try not to talk money, or sales numbers on this blog. I do everything I possibly can to avoid any such thing. I'm told that, proportionately, I'm not doing that bad.

"Not bad" is enough for me to live with several other people in New York City, but not enough for me to move out of this town, into somewhere else. I love New York, but the cost of living is murder.

But I've been inundated with stories of bad agents -- agents who have great ratings in predators and editors, and are not scam artists, but who have rewritten and destroyed books by inserting themselves into the writing process.

Or stories of publishers who will destroy books by lousy covers. I've gotten a few of those stories from multiple sources. Not to mention, hell, have you seen some of the covers put on good books lately? Count to A Trillion is a great book, but the cover art is very .... bland.

So, what the hell am I doing?

First of all, I'm going to do everything. Yes, everything.

I'm going to submit something to Baen that no one has ever seen before.

I'm going to talk with Jodi Lynn Nye about her agent experiences.

I'm going to submit to the agent.

I'm going to self publish the Complete Pius Trilogy as one Kindle volume. Just as soon as the artist is done with it.

I'm going to self publish the sequel to Codename: Winterborn. Just as soon as the artist is done with it.

Yes, I'm going to blame Dawn Witzke, the artist, for a lot of it. Even though I really should be spacing out releases on principle.

I've also got another project on the block. Which I will discuss tomorrow.

What will I be doing with Set To Kill and the vampire novels? No idea yet. I'm waiting on rejections.

So far, this year, I'm going to at least publish three more works of fiction.

So ... yeah, we're not done yet. The year isn't over, and neither am I.

The fun is about to start.

#DragonCon Report 2016, Military SF Tech

"There's an awful lot of high tech in military science fiction. Some of it is solidly based on current science/tech. Some of it is highly futuristic. What is the future of military technology, and how much of what we read is possible--or even probable? Additional Panelists: Marcus Christiansen"

Speakers include: Michael Z Williamson, John Ringo, Charles Gannon, and Mac Edelheit

And I have some nice toys in my Sad Puppy and Dragon Award Nominated Novel Honor at Stake by clicking this link.

And ... enjoy.

LibertyCon 29 AAR

So, yeah. I went to LibertyCon. How was it?

It was okay.

To be honest, I got an attack of shingles during my trip to Chattanooga, so I missed the third day of the convention. But, to be honest, I was expecting to do more at the convention. On Friday, my only two things to do was to have a signing at 6, and a reading at 9.

I knew that I was going to have an hour. So, originally planned to do a reading for 45 minutes -- an intro, maybe some questions.

Then I learned that each hour was 50 minutes. Well, I planned for 45 minutes of reading, so I was good.

Then I learned that I had to read with someone else. Oh well. I had to make it up as I went along. You can see the video of my reading from a few days ago to see how well that went.

I arrived on Thursday, the day before the convention, and ended up in a party with Sarah Hoyt, and many of the people who I've known from Facebook. It was fun. And strange. I'm generally not a social person. But these were basically "my people." I think I talk more to more people face to face at conventions than I do every other month of the year. I met Lin Wicklund, and Dorothy Grant, and other people whose names haven't appeared on the blog. I was at least in the room with Gunny Mormon, but he was busy.

The first panel I saw on Friday was "Weaponized Artificial Intelligence" ... which went off the rails so much, someone from the audience screamed at the panel "TO GET BACK ON TOPIC ALREADY."  So that was fun.

Next was Eastern Weaponry, with Larry Correia and Baen editor Toni Weisskopf. Apparently, Toni's late husband collected swords. There was a nice collection of sharp pointy things.

The next panel I was at was Monster Hunter International, with John Ringo, Sarah Hoyt, Larry Correia, and it was high-jacked by Toni. The discussion turned to "writing about monsters." Toni had to leave, and the conversation went back to Larry's MHI universe. Ringo has done a trilogy going back to the 80s. Hoyt is doing a Julie Shackleford novel. And Larry is going back to Owen and the main series.

There were the opening ceremonies, where I managed to stand, wave, and sat down. I then tottered off to sign books and stuff.

Upon entering the dealer's room, I was stopped by Michael Z. Williamson. Mad Mike opened my blazer, checked my shirt, smiled, and said "Ah, that one," and wandered off.

The orange t-shirt I'm wearing in the picture above reads "Sometimes, I have to remind myself that it's not worth the jail time."

I do subtle so very well.

At 8 pm was "Georgette Heyer and her Influence on Science Fiction." Mostly, it was about how Heyer managed to do world building for historically-set novels, even down to getting slang right. Which of course, is also what you want to do when you're writing science fiction.

Not to mention that she did a lot of great character building, and did her best to write against standard cliche, in both character design and plot.

After my reading, I rushed to John Ringo's reading at 10 pm. I rushed there faster than Ringo himself did. So did everyone else, as we were jammed into a very nice, almost roomy, walk-in closet. He did readings from Monster Hunter: Grunge, which will be a laugh riot. It was standing room only, and I stood in the back, next to the door. At one point, someone in a bright green shirt came in; I think I noted him at first because he was the only other person as brightly dressed as I was. Then he sort of looked familiar. I looked down, and saw the tag "Tom Kratman."

Huh. Okay then. I went back to listening to the reading, and Col. Kratman wandered in and out of the room. I would have said hello (with an emphasis on "Thank you for the Sad Puppies Bite Back support"), but (if I gathered correctly) Kratman had been waiting for Ringo, and I wasn't going to be run over by John when he was running in "Convention mode."

Saturday morning. I was going to see Global Pandemics and Biosecurity, as well as "Bringing Modern Technology into Urban Fantasy," but my entourage wasn't moving quickly that morning, and we missed both of these panels. I also missed the first half of Principles of War.

However, I did run into Lou Antonelli, one of the nominees from Sad Puppies 3. He's a pleasant, genial fellow, who will even talk to a guy like me, and picked me out of a lineup. Who knew? Since I had no idea what to do for the next hour or so, I followed him to his panel "Retro-Futurist Alternate History." Basically, a high-tech alternate timeline ... sort of like the Fallout franchise, or Watchman, only fun, and with technology, instead of superheroes.

I went to Perspectives on Military SF ... which had very comfy seats. I must admit, I fell asleep. Which would have been interesting, because I fell asleep around the time that Peter Grant, military veteran, started arguing that you could only write military fiction if you're a veteran ... and he was arguing against another vet that insisted that, no, you didn't need to be a vet to write military fiction.

Afterwards, there was the very long winded title panel: Do Utopian cities or Dystopian cities make the better backdrop for Urban Fantasy? Starring Gail Z. Martin, MB Weston, Terry Maggert, and ... me.

I think I had only one good line. The question was "Can you have a plot in a true utopia? A utopia that has no dark underbelly?"

Me: "Remember, the first Utopia was written by Sir Thomas More. Utopia sounds like eu, as in good, like euphoric. So it's a good place ... only it's spelled with a U, which is a negative. It's a good place that doesn't exist. And at the end of the day, the book Utopia had no plot. It was just a travelogue. So the answer is probably not."

Martin: Unless someone is attacking or threatening the utopia from the outside.

Me: "Point."

I caught the second half of the Baen Slideshow, which is basically everything that's coming out in the next few months.

Panel Noir, With Kacey Ezell, Larry Correia, et al, was mostly a matter of dueling quotes by Hammett and Chandler. One of them did the best Sydney Greenstreet I've heard in a while.

Then I wound up doing the "Invasion of the Podcasters" panel. I think my best line in terms of giving advice was "be prepared for a crappy guest." I used the example of a man who had been at Inside the Actor's Studio with James Lipton, and the guest was Ed Norton. Apparently, Norton is such an empty suit, Lipton stopped the cameras, and bitched him out, telling him to straighten up, or else.

Immediately afterwards was the It's in the Blood panel from the video yesterday.

And Sunday, I ended up in the nearest ER, getting some nifty anti-virals. Yay. I'll spare you the pictures.

Anyway, if you haven't already, you might want to pick up Honor at Stake. 

Preferably before the sequel comes out.

900 Posts later

Yup, it's blog number 900. Who knew I would last this long?

One of the things I do at this point is to note all of the top ten blogs of all time.

Though of course, first, I'm going to remind everyone that the Dragon Awards are still out there, and they're they still need voting on. So, get to it. Click here, and have fun.  If you need some suggestions, I have some for you right here.

Now, as far as the top ten biggest blogs of all time are concerned....

1. Who would Captain America vote for? An election special.

From the 2012 election, I think this one was carried more by Alex Ross art than anything else. But it's still going strong as the #1 blog of all time.

This was fun. I was just going over the top and insane.

But here, Captain America punching Hitler in the face.

Can we have one of Captain America punching Osama in the face?

2. Sad Puppies Bite Back

From April of last year. Leaped to the #2 spot immediately.

If you have no idea what SPBB is ... click the Sad Puppy Tab above. It is a really, really, really long flipping story. It was a one-shot that spiraled so far out of control, I really don't see the end of it. But people are still coming to the blog just to read them.  I may be doing a little more with this along the way.

How?  Heh heh heh.

3. Sex, DC Comics, and ... wtf?

Yup, it's still in the #3 spot. Right after the dawn of DC's New 52 Universes in 2011, the comics had gone into a sideways spiral of strange. 

Catwoman screwing Batman on a roof? Check. 

Starfire becoming an amnesiac slut? Check .... except that they're not even that clear, and backtracked, rewrote, and I'm not even sure that DC Comics know what the hell they were doing then. 

I think this the popularity of this had something to do with sex being in the title. You don't even want to see what the search terms look like.

4. Disasters to Marvel At: A Comic Discussion.

From 2010, I ripped apart with every stupid decision that Marvel comics had made for the previous 5 years.  Sadly, some of those decisions are still going strong. But it's hard to figure out which ones. 

Except for One More Day. F**k that, and them, and Joe Quesada.

I think I have to do this again. Because, well, Captain America as Hydra. Gah.

Seriously, Marvel, stop it.

5. Sad Puppies Bite Back (Part 2)

This is where things started going really odd. And I probably should have seen it coming that things were going to really go sideways ... "sideways" as in "The Puppies have taken over my blog."  I think part one got suggestions of nominating this for a "Best related" award from the Hugos. 

I would have enjoyed watching the Puppy Kickers go insane. But we can't have everything. 

Oh well. Heh. 

6. Cry Havoc! And Let Slip the Puppies of War!

From Apr of 2015, this was after Entertainment Weekly's libelous article about Sad Puppies, written and published without talking to anyone within Sad Puppies. At all. Yes, really.

Believe it or not, in retrospect, this was not what got me really into the Sad Puppies bandwagon. That was when someone decided to go after Brad Torgersen's wife. Then, then I had a meltdown, and decided someone needed a stern talking to.

7. #MakeItStop -- please, make the stupid stop

From this June, 2016. This is a month old. Heck, in the course of a week, this shot up. This is what happens with the use of hashtags.

I'm still blown away that, well, this was a political post. I don't do politics here. I tend to avoid them. I'm surprised anyone bothered.

And all I did was round up arguments I've seen others make online. 

Funny thing? The douchebags whining in the comments are pretty much invalidated by the existence of the truck attack last week in Nice, France.

Shocking, huh?

8. Review: Tom Stranger: Interdimensional Insurance Agent.

This one hit the top ten most popular posts on the blog within 24 hours of being posted.

This is what happens when authors like your reviews.

Who knew?

9. Puppies Come to WorldCon (SPBB III)

Still here from last year. This was going to be The End. Period. Dot. Final. The last straw. The Puppies were going to come to the Hugos, and it would have to end there. Why? Because there would be nothing left for me to write until the Hugos came out. It was a perfect out, right? Right?

Yes. And that worked well.

10. Strong Female Character Problems

This is from April. The entire problem of waif-fu: where tiny little girls beat up 6'5" men. No. That doesn't work. Period.

How did this make it to the top ten? Was it that good? Maybe.

It made it to Castalia House's "radar sweep" -- they liked it enough to put it up on a roundup.

Next time, let's not have tiny little girls beating up on guys about the size of Larry Correia, huh?

Looking over this list, I've come to the conclusion ... that I should probably make this blog all about sex, Sad Puppies, politics, book reviews, and comic books.  But then, I reach that conclusion every few hundred posts or so.  We'll see about doing that sometime next time around.

Sadly, I'm all out of Puppy material. Oh well. Maybe something will blow up next week.

6 Years. and 800 Blogs later, Still alive

When I started this blog five years ago, it was to drum up publicity for A Pius Man: A Holy Thriller, book one of what would become The Pius Trilogy

After a while, it was the only way to sell my books.

Then I went rogue from my agent, and did the entire Pius trilogy myself. Books two and three came out in 2014.

Now, six years since we have started, and 800 blog posts later, I guess we should be looking back and asking: what the hell are we still doing here?  Especially now that the Puppies have taken over the blog?

You'd think that this would be something obvious.  Look above, under the giant blog banner. You'd think I don't get much clearer than that.

But, when I posted one of my Sad Puppies Bite Back posts over in the comments of a blog called File 770, I was met with some ... interesting replies in the comments. Including derision, people who thought that SPBB was about threatening the anti-Puppies, and people who wondered what the site was even about.

And people wonder why I don't read comments on most websites. The term "cesspool of stupid" comes to mind. Who allows these people out in public? There should be a license to be on the internet some days.

Not that I'm cynical or anything.

But, it did occur to me that there would be some people confused about what this site's common thread was, considering we've veered so wildly from the original point of glorified marketing.

So, what's it all about?

It's about stories. How do you create them? How do you shape them?  How do you assemble dreams when the world is so busy trying to stomp on them and take them away from you? That's why I dissect political opinions of Superheroes, or examine bad comic book storylines, or try to predict where things are going.  That's why I look at faith in fiction, to see just how much of the writer goes into the story, and how much should go into the story.  This blog will also address the Catholic faith in particular because, well, I'm Catholic -- it's part of me, and who I am, and part of my stories, so it comes with the package.

But, as fiction is not just about how a story is made, but also about the process of selling it. That's why I look at women in fiction, or the politics of publishing, etc.

Also ... it's about marketing. I'm not dead yet and I'm still writing and publishing books. I have a publisher now, and I'm not afraid to use them.

(Honor At Stake, now #2 suggestion for best novel for Sad Puppies 4 -- subtle plug, subtle plug).

That's why I allowed my brain to be taken over by a parody universe that won't leave me alone. I mean, it's not like I can make money on Sad Puppies Bite Back yet, despite how popular it is.

Okay, I may not be able to make money on it at this point. May. Not.  Why not?  Because I use the real names of real people, like George RR Martin, and Scalzi, and the Haydens, David Gerrold, Moshe Feder, and additional psychos.

Yes, they're parody -- and boy, are these guys a parody -- but there are also lawyers, and you don't need to have a leg to stand on to file a lawsuit. And while I would probably win any lawsuit, and any countersuit, the legal fees would probably kill me before we got to the countersuit phase.

However, there might be a few ways in order to rub the serial numbers off of this. Only if I scrub really, really hard. If you've looked at Set to Kill, you probably have a good idea of what I can do for Sad Puppies Bite Back, if I work at it.

And, of course, now that Sad Puppies Bite back is up for two different Hugo awards? I should at least consider publishing it.

If it gets a Hugo Nomination? It's more than likely I will publish it. Why? Because it would be a Hugo nominated work, and I don't think anyone would want to draw attention to the fact that they are so thin-skinned, they can't take a joke.

But, one disaster at a time, folks. One disaster at a time.

However, even if I can't sell it, Sad Puppies Bite Back has brought hundreds of people to my blog, and has improved my sales a lot. It won't get me into the big money territory, but it's a lot more than I've been getting.

It's also gotten me some interesting friends along the way, which is an improvement for an introvert like me.

So, to the trolls who lurk under the bridge at File 770, that's what the blog is about.

As for all you newcomers who want a laugh, or want a book recommendation, or some music to listen to as you pen your destruction of an alien civilization, or comic book trivia, or just want to look into the brain of a deeply deranged writer, welcome, my friends, to The Pius Geek.

The party is just warming up.

Because of this mischegas that is my life, I've made some great friends, like Sarah Hoyt,  Ann Margaret Lewis, Karina Fabian, Daniella Bova, Daria Anne DiGiovanni, Margot St. Aubin, Dawn Witzke, and Matt Bowman, the Novel Ninja.

I've read some awesome books, like Amy Lynn, Ordinance 93, The Watson Chronicles, the Book of Helen, Stealing Jenny, and a whole slough of others. Slew? Slough? Oh, you get the idea.

Kia

And these people.  Wow.

Heck, due to Kia Heavey, I have a new model for Manana Shushurin, now that the previous model is far, far too respectable to be associated with the likes of me.  She was before, but I guess she finally figured that out. :)  Kia is an author, and I recommend her books. Heck, I have.

Ann and Karina have been responsible for dragging me into the Catholic Writer's Guild. And if they weren't (it's been so long, they may not have), they're a large chunk of the reason I've stayed.

There's the CLFA, and that's also a long story.

Margot was largely responsible for the gun shop visit of 2014, and accompanied me to the first Catholic Writers Guild conference that I was a guest at.

I've lost some good friends.  One of my first beta readers for A Pius Man died before it was published. The first artist for the site, with whom I was acquaintances since college, and I drifted apart.

This blog caught me one of my best friends, author Rebekah Hendershot, and we managed to burn that bridge, with each other still on it. Heck, we burned that bridge so thoroughly, I think I've completely edited her out of the history of the website, with perhaps one exception.

Yeah. When things go badly, they go badly.

This blog has gotten me some of the best things in my life, and has taken away a few.  It's been a bumpy ride, almost from day one.

Along the way, I've shared with you how I invest myself in my work, dissected my life to show you how it enters my writing, given you the story of everything that has been important in my life. You folks know when I'm single, when I'm hurting, and when I'm going to lose myself in video games.

Mandy

I've shared my wonder at emerging technology, my irritation at politics and the comic book industry, my love of reading and even the music du jour.

I'd like to thank you all for putting up with me that long. I never thought I was that interesting.  This blog has lasted has still longer than some relationships I've had.

And now, I have an almost constant readership of over 4000 people a month, give or take a few hundred.

Now if only you would all buy The Pius Trilogy, Honor at Stake and Codename Winterborn....

Yes, I'm joking.  But you can't blame a guy for trying, can you? :)

Looking back on some of the strangeness, these are the all-time top blogs ever read on this site as of this minute.

1) Who would Captain America vote for? An election special:
This one is still on top. Odd though, huh?  Written back for the Presidential election of 2012, I was fed up with politics, and thought it much more amusing to speculate on what comic book characters would vote for who. I still like it better than most modern politics.  The hits on this one used to equal an entire month of viewership on the blog....

But then #2 happened.

2) Sad Puppies Bite Back.
The first journey down the rabbit hole. Yes. It was a one-shot that spiraled so far out of control, I really don't see the end of it. But people are still coming to the blog just to read them.  I'd publish these, but I'd really like to avoid being sued by David Gerrold or John Scalzi, or any of the other Puppy Kickers.

This is where it started, with Larry and Brad and Sarah.  And from what I've found? All of them I've SWATted found it funny.  Who knew?

3) Sex, DC Comics, and ... wtf?
Yup, it's still here. Right after the dawn of DC's New 52 Universes in 2011, the comics had gone into a sideways spiral of strange. I think this had something to do with sex being in the title.

4) This one is also still here.  Waaaay back in 2010, I ripped apart all of the Disasters to Marvel At: A Comic Discussion, with every stupid decision that Marvel comics had made for the previous 5 years.  Sadly, some of those decisions are still going strong.

5) Sad Puppies Bite Back (Part two)
This is where things start going really odd. And I probably should have seen it coming that things were going to really go sideways ... "sideways" as in "The Puppies have taken over my blog."  I think part one got suggestions of nominating this for a "Best related" award from the Hugos.

6) Cry Havoc! And Let Slip the Puppies of War!
This was after the Entertainment Weekly's libelous article about Sad Puppies, written and published without talking to anyone within Sad Puppies. At all. Yes, really.  Believe it or not, in retrospect, this was not what got me really into the Sad Puppies bandwagon. That was when someone decided to go after Brad Torgersen's wife. Then, then I had a meltdown, and decided someone needed a stern talking to.

7) Puppies Come to WorldCon  (SPBB III)
This was going to be The End. Period. Dot. Final. The last straw. The Puppies were going to come to the Hugos, and it would have to end there. Why? Because there would be nothing left for me to write until the Hugos came out. It was a perfect out, right? Right?

8) Snarky Theology 4: "Things that go boink in the night."
Yeah, this one is still here.  From the Easter of 2011, it's still on the top ten list. I can't get rid of the damn thing. I had tried to play nice and explain my faith, and tenets of Catholicism to the average person.  That ended in disaster and a flame war, and a few other things going wrong along the way.

But, once again, Sex scores well on the site.

This is still freaking strange for a blog all about Catholic thrillers.

9) Sad Puppies Bite Back XI: Puppies with Teeth

Yeah ... I'm not sure what part brings people to this chapter of SPBB than any of the others. Is it SWATting Jim Butcher or Peter Grant? Shadowdancer? Having a final reckoning with Andrew Marston?

Yeah. I have no idea.

10) And a surprising newcomer, a post I only published about three weeks ago: #SadPuppies ask -- who's rabid? It was a brief look at some of the psychosis among Puppy Kickers ... maybe Puppy Kickers adjacent ... and John C. Wright, Vox Day, and File 770 linked to it.

This is going to be an interesting year.

Do I want a Hugo? #SadPuppies Again

This blog is going to wander a bit, but I ask that you stay with me.

As of this minute, I'm not doing too badly in the Sad Puppy nominations. Enough so that Vile 770 is really, really rooting for me.  Solely based on the premise that I will single-handedly destroy Sad Puppies just by being nominated. No, no joke.

So, great question, do I want a Hugo?

No idea.

Some people shoot for the moon, because why not?

I say that if you shoot for the moon, you're gonna run out of oxygen if you miss. Just ask any space mission.**


Author J. Michael Straczynski (and yes, I can spell that without looking up his name) grew up with the Hugo as a mark of good writing. The Hugos were everything good about science fiction. It was how he chose what to read growing up when he borrowed books from the pharmacy book rack (he always returned them without breaking the spine, so, it's really borrowing, not stealing). And when he got a Hugo, he was moved and surprised and in awe.

The only Hugo award winning novelists I've read in the last 15 years? JK Rowling and Neil Gaiman. That's it.

I grew up with Asimov and Neal Stephenson, These people don't rate.

Sure, I've read Hugo award winning novels.  Ender's Game and Hyperion, and Dune.  But lately? Those winners are not who I read on a regular basis.

For me, it's Weber and Ringo and Correia. They're people who have fun with powered armor and wrecking worlds. Mostly Baen authors.

And no novel from Baen will get another Hugo unless it's Lois Bujold. John Ringo doesn't want it. Kratman is more on the Rabid Puppy side. Correia doesn't want it. And no one has even discussed David Weber or Timothy Zahn, which is a crime in itself.

Then again, the people I admire also make money at writing. So I'll take that.

Without anyone I admire getting Hugos, I don't have the motivation of JMS.  So, solely on my own initiative, do I want the grand prize?

First of all, I think I'll be shocked and amazed if I get a Sad Puppy nomination. Delighted as Hell. Because on the one hand? The women in charge of Sad Puppies 4 want thousands of people involved in this. That's PR I can't buy ... okay, maybe I can buy it, but I couldn't afford it.

Also, it means that a sudden and violent wave of animosity will come down on me like the hand of Satan, and I'll take that press. After all, I am a Cis White Male with blond(ish) hair and blue eyes. I'm even Catholic, so Vile 770, the Guardian, and everyone else who want to lynch the big dogs will be able to go into Opus Dei conspiracy theories instead of evil Mormon comments.

Because, yes, I can see the CHORFs spinning Vatican conspiracy theories should I get a nomination. A Pius Man will suddenly be lambasted with negative reviews. I'll get a whole 15-seconds of fame, and I'll probably end up with the usual reputation of everyone else -- evil blah blah blah.

But as I've noted before, I'm a Conservative Catholic in New York City. For me, this is called Tuesday.