Ah, it's election time again, and boy, do we have a crop of losers this time.
In 2012, I did a post where I broke down comic book characters by politics and concluded who they voted for.
I think 2016 needs s similar treatment.
In the spirit of going completely and utterly over the top, I figure I would take it one step further. However, I'm going to tell you right now that this is a joke from minute one to minute last.
But then, the 2016 election has been a joke since day one.
One of the differences between this and 2012 will be that this will be an all day thing. One post per character ... mostly. The shorter ones will be grouped together. After all, there's no much I can do with Deadpool.
Captain America (Steve Rodgers, Marvel)
Pro-Army, pro-gun, pro-Apple pie, Captain America has spent his entire existence dealing with foreign policy issues.
See a bad guy? Beat them into submission, or kill them.
Someone threatens Truth, Justice, and American Way? Beat them into submission, or kill them.
On social issues, Steve would be very 1940s -- abortion was a dangerous, illegal procedure, and any pills like birth control or contraceptives were also illegal, so that entire issue is a nonstarter.
Illegal immigration? Steve Rogers served under Eisenhower, who deported over a million illegal immigrants, so he'd see no problem with that.
And now that Hillary has outed herself as being for partial birth abortion, Steve would look at her like she was the freaking anti-Christ.
Economically, Steve's attitude would probably be very much on the order of, "People get their own jobs, right? Well, a little hard work, everything will be fine."
Between those two, I think we've got a one-issue voter. Given how much of a screw up Hillary was around the Benghazi disaster, I can't imagine him voting for Hillary.
If you can't imagine Steve voting for Trump, please remember that Captain America first served under FDR, the Democrat responsible for interning thousands of Japanese, and boiled down to being a fascist. And when he came out of the ice, it was 1964, so he would have served under LBJ, the only guy in the oval office in the 20th century who could give FBR a run for his money. If Trump went full dickhead, Steve could handle Trump. He'd probably break his wrist, but he could handle Trump.
This also assumes that Trump would be a dick to Captain America. He would probably be really bloody polite.
VOTE GOES TO: Trump
Stay tuned for Batman, Iron Man, Green Arrow, Green Lantern, and more.
In 2012, I did a post where I broke down comic book characters by politics and concluded who they voted for.
I think 2016 needs s similar treatment.
In the spirit of going completely and utterly over the top, I figure I would take it one step further. However, I'm going to tell you right now that this is a joke from minute one to minute last.
But then, the 2016 election has been a joke since day one.
One of the differences between this and 2012 will be that this will be an all day thing. One post per character ... mostly. The shorter ones will be grouped together. After all, there's no much I can do with Deadpool.
Captain America (Steve Rodgers, Marvel)
See a bad guy? Beat them into submission, or kill them.
Someone threatens Truth, Justice, and American Way? Beat them into submission, or kill them.
On social issues, Steve would be very 1940s -- abortion was a dangerous, illegal procedure, and any pills like birth control or contraceptives were also illegal, so that entire issue is a nonstarter.
Illegal immigration? Steve Rogers served under Eisenhower, who deported over a million illegal immigrants, so he'd see no problem with that.
And now that Hillary has outed herself as being for partial birth abortion, Steve would look at her like she was the freaking anti-Christ.
Between those two, I think we've got a one-issue voter. Given how much of a screw up Hillary was around the Benghazi disaster, I can't imagine him voting for Hillary.
If you can't imagine Steve voting for Trump, please remember that Captain America first served under FDR, the Democrat responsible for interning thousands of Japanese, and boiled down to being a fascist. And when he came out of the ice, it was 1964, so he would have served under LBJ, the only guy in the oval office in the 20th century who could give FBR a run for his money. If Trump went full dickhead, Steve could handle Trump. He'd probably break his wrist, but he could handle Trump.
This also assumes that Trump would be a dick to Captain America. He would probably be really bloody polite.
VOTE GOES TO: Trump
Stay tuned for Batman, Iron Man, Green Arrow, Green Lantern, and more.
Or, while we're all here.... Murphy's Law of Vampires, sequel to the second place Sad Puppies 4 nominee for best novel, and Dragon Award nominated novel Honor at Stake came out yesterday.
Enjoy.
ReplyDeleteThis also assumes that Trump would be a dick to Captain America. He would probably be really bloody polite.
I think he'd do a minor fanboy at him, and try his very best to be Good Buddies.
Because, come on, Captain America is cool!
This is true.
DeleteThough seeing Trump going full Coulson around Cap would be entertaining.