Going Solo

Once before, I've discussed the joy of having characters go something completely and totally alone. After all, it's what Jack Bauer and Harry Potter have in common: no one listens to them, so they have to do it themselves. In their respective cases, "no one" is a bureaucracy and know it all grown ups who are so busy "protecting" the poor innocent children while ignoring that they're the ones in the crossfire.

Anyway...

Somehow, I've avoiding using what I've coined as The Cassandra Effect, and replaced it with good, old fashioned paranoia.

Let's face it, in The Pius Trilogy, there's a lot of "We don't know how far the bad guys have reach, or who's on their payroll" (okay, with a touch of Sean AP Ryan saying "Screw it, I'm the ultimate badass, I don't need no stinking authorities"). There's even a bit of that in Honor at Stake (though much of that is tempered with "vampires? No one will believe us." )

In Codename: Winterborn, the majority of why Kevin Anderson rides out into battle all by himself is because .... okay, to start with, he's a little insane at the moment. He's had everyone he's close with blown up, the people at the top of his command structure are responsible, and trusting anyone in between seems like a Really Bad Idea. And he's cynical enough that he's relatively certain that leaking a covert operation, getting operatives killed, would only be worth a slap on the wrist for Senators.

I can't imagine where he would get that idea. Can you? I mean, it's not like Senators can get away with mishandling classified material and getting away with it, or commit out and out felonies and get off with just a slap on the wrist.

.... Yes. Obviously, I'm being sarcastic.

But in Kevin's case, after a while, even the bad guys in Codename Winterborn were explaining ways for Kevin to just stop killing people, and just turn over the remaining victims on his hit list, and perhaps even the media would call for their blood.  While this suggestion was never directly made to Kevin, had it been, it would have been scoffed at. Then again, I've had people dismiss the Senators in Winterborn as cardboard cutouts with no redeeming qualities. It only so happens that I've smashed together the vices of real life politicians, most of whom have actually gotten away with it. Had I only but known about Leland Yee at the time...

And what about now? What could Kevin possibly do for help in San Francisco? Who would even consider coming to his aid. This entire city looks like Thomas Hobbes on acid with a cocaine chaser. Man is a wolf to man, it's always a full moon, and there are no silver bullets. Kevin has some acquaintances: he's befriended an assassin .... the assassin has some contacts. The priests might be useful ... if they weren't under siege just by virtue of living in this town that most people forgot.

Sometimes, it helps to have the grand finale be one-on-one when everyone else in town wants nothing to do with it. "Aww, there's a serial killer in town. Is there any chance he's going to kill me? No? Then screw it, have fun, leave me alone."

Okay, so I rely heavily on paranoia and solipsistic douche bags.

Granted, this time, Kevin isn't totally alone. After all, the assassin, Kyle Elsen, will gladly step in if someone is trying to kill Anderson right in front of him.

Kevin runs into a woman in San Francisco named Nevaeh Kraft, a Eurasian woman with midnight blue eyes, and she runs a shop called Artful Krafts. You could even say she's ... magic.

And if you don't know that there's an in-joke there.... well, I suggest reading Honor at Stake. Heh.

As for Mandy, she's a subject for another time. Tomorrow, to be precise.

Review: Designated Survivor Written by Designated Idiots

Remember when I showed you that video about Designated Survivor, a TV show about the Tom Clancy plot point where someone blows up the State of the Union address, making the last man standing President? I had expressed some concerns. After all, Kiefer Sutherland and politics? Let's not recreate season 6 of 24; and none of us want a rehash of that.

Here, Kiefer plays the HUD secretary, left behind for the SotU. That sent up warning flags.

And it's on ABC, the channel dedicated to the morally bankrupt and the vile; ie: everything done by Shonda Rhimes.

And it co-stars Kal Penn, the actor who left House to join the Obama administration, and also Harold and Kumar movies.

A subplot would include FBI Agent Maggie Q trying to figure out who blew up the State of the Union. And I liked her on Nikita and Stalker.

So, there's gotta be the hope that if the Presidential plots are agit-prop BS, the subplot with the FBI would save the day, right?

But noooooo. Whatever you're thinking the problems my be, it is so, so much worse than this.

Let's talk about what worked for a moment.

I like Kiefer Sutherland. I really do. When he is on, he is on. When he was Jack Bauer, he apparently fell into Guns and Ammo Magazine. Here, he's ... Mister Rogers. He's constantly wearing sweaters, dorky glasses that have been deemed "Unpresidential," and he's a dork. He really is, and he's supposed to be. When he is thrust into the situation room (which has now become a massive CTU headquarters under the White House, complete with massive computer screens the size of jumbotrons), he has to leave and puke his guts out. Reasonable. He does not want this job, he does not want to be here, but it's better than the alternative.

In the first and second episodes, he carries it off very well as the main focus of the episode. When Iran tries to make a move after the SotU bombing, he stares down the ambassador, and invites Iran to call his bluff, with a subtle message of "F with me, and I will end you, have a good day. Thanks." And it doesn't break the character. When he has to deal with another situation of a governor going rogue and arresting people, Kiefer explains that they arrested three FBI agents, and you have to release everybody, or their cover will be blown ... there are no agents, but it works anyway. And it's fairly well executed.

There is a cute bit of business with "cops harassing Muslims" in episode two, which is undercut by Kal Penn being approached by two cops -- one checks his ID and lets him go, and one asks him if he lost anybody in the bombing. That was touching, and helped swallow the rest of the episode's premise, which we will touch on below.

Now, some problems. All of them.

"Wait," you ask, "What about the rest of the good stuff?" No. There is nothing else. Kiefer Sutherland is the only reason to watch this show, and by episode three, we are hip deep in everyone else's business.

Let's take this in order.

Not to nitpick, but episode 1 declares Kiefer to be POTUS witin 10 minutes of the bombing. Ten minutes. Maybe 20. How did they know the President and the VP had died? I know it's television, but come on, at least cut away to an hour later.

Nope, we can't do that, because "an hour later," the end of the episode, Kiefer has to be on television giving a speech to reassure everyone that the government is up and running. I would make a joke about "events happen in real time," but that joke is too good for this show.

By the end of the first episode, you have the general and the presumptive Chief of Staff having a discussion about replacing Kiefer as president.

Yes, that.

My first thought is: "NOOOOO, YOU WENT TO SEVEN DAYS IN MAY." This is the oldest political cliche in movies, possibly inspired by Eisenhower warning about the Military Industrial complex. I'm sure, back then, someone said, "Ah, the military overthrowing the government, no one's ever done this before. But to sell it, we need two powerhouses of Hollywood, get me Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas!"

Instead, we have General Evil McObvious being so blatant about it from minute one, he should be fired on the spot.

Oh, wait, because it gets better. Because they basically repeat this EXACT SAME CONVERSATION in the second episode as well.

And around this exactly same time, FBI agent Maggie Q is starting to have doubts about who blew up the White House, trying to frame some poor innocent Islamic terrorist bastards.

AND General Evil McObvious uses all of his screen time to push President Kiefer into nuking this "obviously not Osama" knockoff.

President Kiefer wants undeniable proof who did it, and "While we're looking for evidence, find me not Osama, so that when we have the proof, we can cut his head off."

Okay, I read into that one, because I wanted Jack Bauer to deliver that line.

I should mention that, by the start of episode three, Kiefer has been President for 36 hours.

Show of hands: does anyone remember how long it took for President GW Bush to declare who was behind 9-11? About 30 days, give or take a few. It was mid to late October when he made the decision to go into Afghanistan. This show has General McObvious wanting to JUST BOMB SOMEBODY ALREADY.

Episode two has the reveal that the Republicans had their own designated survivor, because Republicans. And the Governor of Michigan is declaring martial law, arresting whole swaths of the Muslim community, throwing them in jail, and beat one teenager to death. Because .... decades of the Caliphate of Dearborn have become too much for him? I don't know. He's republican, he's evil, and he's got to be so blatantly evil he's doing this just because "he's afraid." I'm sorry, have the writers even BEEN to Dearborn? It's more likely they're having a party.

Here, let me show you Dearborn.

Pardon me if I have trouble believing the "cops go out of control, beat Muslim teen to death" narrative. If they're not handing out wooden showers to these folks, I have problems believing they're targeting innocent teens.

Episode 3, of course, is where I drew the line. Remember when I highlighted that Kiefer was the designated survivor as HUD secretary? Apparently, he was going to be given an Ambassadorship to ... I don't recall, micronesia or something. Basically, he was going to be fired.

Wait ... I'm sorry... if he was fired, whose bright idea was it to give him the designated survivor position? He didn't draw straws or anything, he got the news by phone call. And it's obvious he was on the way out to everybody but him. WHOSE BRIGHT IDEA WAS THIS?  When it becomes public in episode 3, no one says, "Obviously, I wasn't fired, I was given the designated survivor position, thanks."

During episode 3, we have not-Osama claiming credit for the SotU attack. Then it's highlighted that these Jihadis claim credit for other people's attacks, so President Kiefer tells them to sit on it until real evidence comes in. When the news piece on "weren't you fired?" aired, Chief of Staff wannabe leaks it to change the story to not-Osama.  When given the chance to fire this a-hole, Kiefer keeps him on because he needs a snake on his payroll... because giving the guy who just stabbed you in the back a second chance is really a good idea.

At the end of the day, it is an abomination that -- side from General McObvious-- Maggie Q is the worst part of this serious. I'm waiting for her superior to check off all of the 80s cop show cliches: "You're a rogue cop, going off the reservation, trashing the fourth amendment," blah blah blah f**kity blah.

And no ABC network show would be complete without the soap opera elements. Oh, heck, Maggie Q brings that, too. Because one of the Senators who got blown up? She was sleeping with him. He was still married. And "separated from his wife." And even SHE acknowledges that it was stupid. And, since that's not enough soap opera, Kiefer's son is a drug dealer. Yes, because slipping your secret service detail is just so easy for a teenager.

At the end of the day, I had to give up on this show. Every time the focus is off of Kiefer, I don't care, and when the focus is on Kiefer, I want more than what I'm getting. It's way too rushed, and not rushed enough. The minute by minute interactions are relatively calm and relaxed, while the show is insisting that all of these things have to happen THIS MINUTE -- gotta blame somebody this minute, gotta have a funeral for the President before we even have a body.

Say what you like about the agit-prop that The West Wing became at the end, but it had snappy, quick writing, easy banter, and you could maybe give a damn about more than two people in the ensemble. This show was obviously trying to be an ensemble show, but was designed around The Star. This leads to poor use of The Star (Kiefer), and crappy, cliche plot lines. By the end of the pilot episode, you know that General Evil McObvious is the bad guy who blew up the White House; by the first appearance of the "Republican Designated Survivor," you knew she was going to stab someone in the back eventually (does it in episode 3). And by the end of episode 3, there's more shadowy, elliptical hints of conspiracy theory plotlines that I just threw up my hands and said "Enough."

Dear Kiefer, you're executive producer on 24: Legacy. You can get a part in the cast. Do it now. Because THERE'S NO TIME.

Anyway, you might want to check out my novel Sad Puppies Bite Back.  I promise, it's funny.

Fall Season Mini Reviews: The Failures and the Returning

I, and my family, have long since held the idea that we never judge a television show by its pilot episode. In fact, if we're interested in the topic, we do our best to hold out through 3 episodes before we declare it a failure or a success.

And then there are some exceptions to the rule. The following include the exceptions.

The Exorcist: I knew this was in trouble the moment that the original author, William Peter Blatty, wasn't named in the credits as working on the project. That was a great big warning flag. The first ten minutes were atmospherics. I know that's a lot of the original film, but good God in Heaven, this is a pilot episode, not a movie, the two things operate differently. Eventually, we get to the primary family to be haunted in this particular incident, and we see them in church, with Father Charismatic, who is upbeat, and friendly, and does a reread of the gospel reading in layman's terms and modern English. He's not hippy-dippy, but this is just the opening, during a sermon. They try to set up a bit of the character dynamics of the family, and they do an okay job -- enough to give us a sense of how the family operates, including a hint of the reclusive daughter, and highlighting that the father is a bit of a flake who can't keep track of his hat. Okay, fine. This is all right. Then, we're whisked away to a Flavella, where an African Priest is hunting down an exorcist in Rio, who "hasn't checked in," and is supposedly in the midst of an exorcism....while hanging outside, in the sun, drinking a beer, while the person being exorcised is chained up inside. I'm a little curious at this point to see exactly what's going on, when Father African objects, claims that this is against Church policy, blah blah blah, and Father Burnout pulls a gun on him.

That's the point when I checked out of this particular fiasco.

Blindspot: This was on the bubble for me last season, especially when half the episodes were good, and the other half were agit-prop written by morons, for morons. Especially when they had an episode dedicated to Black Lives Matter, suddenly made one character a lesbian who had been involved in Prism, and had evil cops using body cameras for blackmailing gay sports stars.  Yes, that was season 1.

Season 2 opened with our heroine, Jane Doe, being tortured by the CIA. We will discover that she was part of a super-duper black ops team that no one has ever heard of called Orion, and had been nuked by the CIA Director. They're pissed, and the tattoos on Jane's body are all part of a plan to bring down the entire government of the United States, BWAHAHAHAHAHA.  And Jane has to spend all of her time undercover with these idiots.

Yeah. I'm done.

ON THE BUBBLE

I'm going to be giving the following shows just one more episode to prove to me that I shouldn't ditch them and be done with it.

Conviction and Timeless only just aired this week, and they didn't immediately suck, as I was afraid they would. Give it time.

Designated Survivor: We all know the premise by now -- during the State of the Union, one guy in the line of succession stays away so that someone would stay alive in the event of an attack on the SotU. Part of the problem I have with it is that for every good moment they have, they added a subplot that looks like Seven Days in May, and I'm worried that it will be the punchline. If you don't know what that is, I'll explain when I do the full review.

Blacklist: I enjoy James Spader as Raymond Reddington, but the original premise of the Blacklist, taking down the Bond villain du jour. seems to have been replaced by bad soap opera. Let's just say that it's become a cold bowl of ... Masha potatoes.

You may groan now.

I'm going to give them one more day before I just tell them to go to Hell already.

MacGyver, the pilot sucked, with bad acting, color-by-numbers writing, and their MacGyver moments were so poorly executed, I said "I miss Burn Notice, they did this so much better."  The second episode was okay. The third episode is going to be the deciding factor.

Bull: I like Michael Weatherly, and I do like the premise. But I'm afraid they're going to SJW this to death. The first one was, again, iffy, with your standard alibi of "he's accused of killing a girl, so he's really gay!" I've only seen that about a dozen times.

Notorious: They haven't alienated me yet. If they haven't by the end of episode 3, I'll review it.

I'm currently watching: Scorpion, Lucifer, NCIS (the franchise), Hawaii 5-0, and Elementary.

More to come.

Anyway, you might want to check out my novel Sad Puppies Bite Back.  I promise, it's funny.

The Attack of Fall Television

This season of television isn't even over yet (gee, thanks, CW) and I already need to do a post on the upcoming Fall season. Yikes.

If you haven't heard, Fox has already dropped some of their upcoming shows, and the list of the season in general.

Let's see some of the highlights.

THE RETURNING

Lucifer will be back in the spring. If you don't know this show already, it's really quite inoffensive ... okay, Lucifer is an arrogant hedonistic egomaniac with a chip on his shoulder the size of Plymouth Rock, and always does the right thing when he realizes that even he benefits from it, but it's like working a redemption story with the unredeemable. Next year will probably be fighting more supernatural threats -- when Lucifer refers to "mom" escaping, I presume he means Lilith, because that's the only thing that makes sense, really. At least he's more likable than House.

And that's ... the only show on Fox I care about, really. You'd have to pay me to watch Gotham.

THE NEW ... ISH

The Exorcist (Friday Nights, Fall)

Yes. Really. What the hell? No pun intended. I'm not sure what's stranger: That this is actually a series, or that Geena Davis is in it.  Yes, the mother is Geena Davis. I don't recall the film that much -- was the mother such a big role that they got movie-quality star power for it?  Or is Geena Davis not doing that well in this point of her career?

They want to make this a psychological thriller, following two priests tackling one case of demonic possession. There's Father new priest of Chicago, all shiny and new and "progressive," and probably screwed. The other is ... sigh ... "a modern-day Templar Knight, an orphan raised since childhood by the Vatican to wage war against its enemies. Father Marcus is everything Father Tomas is not: relentless, abrasive and utterly consumed by his sacred mission." While I have no problem with that, there are so many ways to spin that as a negative that I'm almost certain they're going to make him look like an utter nutcase by the end of the day.

And "it's the house"? Yeah. Sure. Thanks. I think I heard this movie was called The Amityville Horror. The original incident of The Exorcist (yes, based on a true story) had a little boy playing with occult crap that ended up playing with him.

Pros? If William Peter Blatty -- author of the original book -- is involved, this should be awesome. We should be seeing the entire process of what it takes to get an exorcism performed in this day and age. MRIs, psychologists, every expert scientist in every field should come on the show, run tests, and come up with alternate solutions for what's wrong with ... whoever this child is, I guess.

Cons: If they make this another stupid horror show like The Following or Sleepy Hollow, I'll throw rocks at the screen.

Lethal Weapon (Weds night, Fall, 2017)

All right, hold on. When I wrote that post "The Return of everything," I didn't think that I would be that predictive. Stop it already. First Rush Hour, then The Exorcist, now this?

No, seriously, was this inspired by the Rush Hour TV show? You know, "If CBS can make this crappy movie into an ok TV show, we can do it with better original material?"

While I grew up with the Lethal Weapon films, has anyone watched them recently? Sure, they almost started the genre of "opposite personality syndrome" in cops shows (I don't recall it in DragNet, The FBI Story, The Untouchables, The Naked City, or Hill Street Blues), but wow, those films do not hold up as well. Far too shallow, and far, far too superseded by movies that came after them and did it better.

But now it's Damon Wayans? Remind me, is he trying to get a career as a serious actor? Because "insane cop / bad comedian cop" doesn't sound like a show I want to see.

I'll give it a try.

This time they want to make Riggs a former Navy SEAL, and they want Murtaugh to have recently had a heart attack.

Pros: There's a lot of room for improvement on the originals.

Cons: There's also a lot they can do terribly, terribly wrong.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show.... 

Do I even need to say any more about this?

Didn't think so.

Let's move on.

Prison Break

I guess Wentwood Miller and Dominic Purcell made an impression on The Flash.

24: Legacy

I am so conflicted about this one. On the one  hand: YES, MORE 24, BWAHAHAHAHA

On the other hand ... WHERE'S MY JACK BAUER. I WANT BAUER BACK NOW DAMNIT! THERE'S NO TIME!

Anyway, again, another terrorist attack is coming to United States soil. After killing an Osama knockoff, the Rangers from the mission have been targeted by not-Osama's followers. With the help of Eowyn (Miranda Otto, “Lord of the Rings”), he's going to strike back. Here, Eowyn is "a brilliant and ambitious intelligence officer who has stepped down from her post as National Director of CTU to support her husband (Jimmy Smits) in his campaign for President of the United States."

Dear Hollyweird, while I appreciate you bringing back one of my favorite shows, could you please read a book or something and make a tv show out of that? And not for premium cable?

Cons: Our lead looks like a kid. He could be the brother of Jax from Berlanti's Arrow-verse. He's supposed to be an officer, with a wife and family? What happened to the veteran?  Oh yes, and least I forget, WHERE'S JACK BAUER? ... oh, wait, he's producing.

Pros: It's more 24, with several solid actors, even some bit players.

THE NEW: YES, REALLY

APB (Spring, 2017)

So, Tony Stark took over a police department, and he's now on his way to taking over the police department of the entire city.

Do you want to create RoboCop? Because this is how you get RoboCop.

Seriously, this feels like someone saw the 90s show The District, and just threw in Tony Stark.

However....

The executive producer is the same one from Lucifer, and the creator of Burn Notice, Matt Nix.

All right, they have my attention.

"Inspired by true events" ... huh. Okay.

Pros: This looks like insane fun. With the guys from Lucifer, Burn Notice, and Ernie Hudson.

Cons: Too many possibilities to take this into Mary Sue territory ... which they may have deflated in the last scene of the trailer, so who knows, there may be hope for this.

Developing Character: Kim Bauer

I just finished reading a book that was .... well, it could have been better.  Don't get me wrong, it was perfectly fine from the primary plot of a military thriller. The author is a friend of mine, so the names have been changed to protect, well, me.

Then there was the female lead.  The character, let's call her Rebekah, has come back from a rape, and trained herself with all the makings of a vigilante. She works with a cop in learning MMA, has a black belt in Tae kwon do. She shoots, has no problem taking fire, and yet, unless directly threatened, she has all the survival instincts of a guppy. Seriously, she has not one, not two, but FOUR stalkers throughout the book, friends and family warning her about three of them, and yet STILL persists in not seeing them as a threat? The victims on the tv show Stalker have better survival instincts! Gah!

While this would not have been out of place in a straight romance plot, it felt strange.  Rebekah already has plenty to do in this book just trying to not get killed while around her a friend who has been targeted by terrorists. She could have had an entire plot thread dedicated to gun and run, then it stops.  She makes few if any decisions that impact the plot. She's just sort of ... there.

And Rebekah is annoying me because she doesn't impact her own story. She doesn't DO anything except emotionally support a "wounded puppy" so he saves her at the end of the book. She has one shining moment of bad-assery when terrorists come for her friend, and then ... nothing. Nada. She has to be saved by everyone else in her life when it comes to her own story. She makes no choices.  And the worst part is, her actions are inconsistent with the character already established. A rape victim, who's built herself into a badass, trusts no one ... but is so trusting and helpless in this book, I want to bash my head against a wall.

It feels like there were too many moving parts around Rebekah, in order to give the illusion that she has a plot of her own in this book.

All I could think of was Kim Bauer.

If you have ever watched 24, you have learned of the awesomeness that is Kim Bauer.

If you've seen the series past the first season / Day 1, you know of all of the mistakes that were Kim Bauer.

Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

Jack Bauer, Harry Potter, and the Cassandra effect.

So, what do Jack Bauer and Harry Potter have in common?

No, this is not a joke.

Jack Bauer, the hero of 24, is the key agent on the Counter Terrorism Unit.  He will torture (mostly just interrogation with yelling and threats), kill, fight his superiors, and lop off heads in order to save the day. He developed a drug addiction to go undercover with a cartel, stopped LA from being nuked about three times, saved the President of the United States at least a dozen times, and will occasionally go on revenge-fueld rampages. He is also the winner of going-the-longest-without-sleep-while-still-kicking-ass award.  He's mostly a lone wolf, because everyone who helps him eventually dies.

Harry Potter is essentially experiencing the worst high school experience since Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Instead of being born with martial arts skills and preternatural strength, all he has are the wits of a ten-year-old (to start with) and inborn magical ability that he's still learning to control.  His biggest assets are his friends-- one of whom is smarter than he is. And he's got a death sentence on him since he was born, all because of some Saruman wannabe who has his own Manson family.

So, what do the two of them have in common?

The Cassandra effect.

No, really.

Going through both series, you'll notice that no one actually listens to either Jack Bauer or Harry Potter.  If people listened to Jack Bauer in several seasons, the show would be called 12, not 24.  Every time Harry Potter falls head first into a plot, like some sort of magical Jessica Fletcher, no one over the age of 18 listens to him.  They are both Cassandra, knowing something will happen for certain, only no one will listen to them, especially when they're right. Leaving it up to our heroes to act on their own to save the day, despite the stupidity of others.

Now, granted, it's a plot device specifically designed so it can end with the hero standing alone against all odds, with maybe some cavalry coming over the hill at the last minute. One might say it's a very American concept -- rugged individualism, cowboy duels in the street, the Lone Ranger, every superhero, every Clint Eastwood western-- except that there is still the basic mythology of Odysseus, or Bellerophon, and other folks of yore who have special powers and abilities that make them the only ones to face demons and monsters.  It's the same concept, only we need different reasons for the lone hero to be lone anything.

In the case of comic books, that's easy-- most superheroes have superpowers that enable them to go toe-to-toe with the bad guy and walk away. Even Batman and Iron Man have special toys, special training, and a wealth of experience on their side.

But what happens outside of that? When everyone has the same training? The same knowledge base?

Enter the Cassandra effect.  In both cases, it stems from Finn's Law of Committees: to get the IQ of a committee, you take the total IQ of the individual committee members, and then divide it by TWICE the number of members on said committee.  Why? Because people are dumber in groups.

In either case, this holds.  In the Hogwarts School model, the faculty obviously know more than this pissant little child, so how could he possibly have the answer to anything in particular?  In the case of Jack Bauer, the CTU bureaucracy looks something like the bureaucracy of the damned, filled with political operatives who know nothing about kicking ass and taking names, and everything about kissing ass and shuffling papers.  And, in both cases, our heroes can only appeal to an individual --Harry Potter's Dumbledore, or Bauer's President Palmer -- and that person can cut through the red tape that has made everything so very, very screwed up.

If you don't have that, you don't have a plot in either case.

"Oh, Harry? People are going to try and steal this valuable stone we have in the forbidden wing? We'll triple the guard on it. Thank you."

Or...

"Jack, you've got information that says that there were other people behind the terrorist threat? Sure, we'll have an air strike on them in the next five minutes."

Sounds boring, doesn't it?

At the end of the day, individuals who will fight the good fight are always more appealing to us than a massive, faceless bureaucracy. We trust individuals to get things done, but not the byzantine structure of bureaucracies, who will seemingly let anyone in. It doesn't matter if it's the IRS, the State Department, the NSA, CTU, or Hogwarts.  But good fiction uses this plot device well, exaggerating the natural ineptitude of bureaucracies into a plot point -- and sometimes, you don't need that much exaggeration.

Even when you have something like the Magnificent Seven, or the Avengers, it's very much the same concept. It's the individuals coming together to take on a threat that none of them could deal with alone.

Now, one could counter with military fiction... except in that case, fiction makes certain to focus on the officers and high-ranking foot soldiers -- people who have already been promoted because they have special abilities and knowledge that put them at the head of the back. Just look at 300-- we focus on, possibly, six of three hundred Spartans. It's hard to make us emotionally invested in 300 individual soldiers in the time and space allotted, but making us invested in a select few allows us to be invested in all of them.

At the end of the day, we the audience become invested in individuals.  The Cassandra effect -- or the committee effect -- gives writers the excuse to focus on a select few in a modern age where great big monolithic installations are supposed to take care of everything.

Fighting and Writing, what is Krav Maga?

In one of my DragonCon reports, I noted that various authors have various reasons to have fight scenes in their novels: to honor those who have fought, to get realism in the writing, to come to grips with wars they've been in.

I'm not so high-minded.

There are some situations my characters won't be able to talk their way out of … in the case of A Pius Man, when there are people who start shooting up the Spanish Steps with a full-on assault with automatic weapons and RPGs, then there is only so much good harsh language can do for my protagonists.

The same goes with my theories on close-quarters combat. Unfortunately, most of my early fight scenes were developed by watching stuntmen dancing in various and sundry TV shows and movies. In fact, one of my characters, Sean A.P. Ryan, was a stuntman before going into the mercenary business—which is the only way that I could justify some of his crazier stunts.

Why not just use a real martial art?

Really? Which one? Tae Kwan Do, which has been referred to as a sport, even by black belts I've met? Karate, with kata dance routines that have about as much to do with an actual fight as ballet (I should know, I went for that when I was ten)?

I had come across penjakt silat, an Indonesian martial style, in Tom Clancy's NetForce novels; it was very practical, but overly complicated for writing purposes. MMA hadn't been popular when I started writing, and that, too, is merely a sport (high kicks are nice, but MMA doesn't have to deal with being kicked between the legs).

However, a few years ago, I was exposed to a system called Krav Maga. Not in standard media, but in a video game—Splinter Cell, to be exact. Yes, for you video game nerds, Sam Fisher is using an actual style of combat. They didn't just make it up as they went along

Later, I picked up novels based on the series 24, written by John Whitman. And, wow, it was practical.

And Krav Maga kept popping up in things I read. After a while, I took a hint, and I did some research into Krav Maga. I started by doing some research into John Whitman.

I discovered he was a black belt in Krav Maga. And he was more than an authority. He was apparently The authority in the United States.

For me, Krav Maga worked from a writing standpoint. It was simple, it was straightforward, and, most importantly, it used weapons. Not to mention that it was a style that was practical—a kick to the groin is a standard weapon, one that's practiced repeatedly; eye gouges are another tactic, one that I've never seen in a standard sparring match.

It was so much better for my writing, where all of my characters are … very practical. MMA is nice, and the fighters are all real athletes, but I don't recall the last MMA match that required having participants defend themselves against a knife, or one where someone is bleeding from bite marks.

I decided to look into Krav Maga a little.

Building Character: Scott "Mossad" Murphy.

**Spoiler alert.  Be sure to read O Little Town of Bethlehem and Tinker, Tailor, Goyim, Spy before reading the blog.**

Two of the short stories posted on this site have, thus far, been about Scott “Mossad” Murphy.  Mysteriously, they all seem to fit with the end product of Murphy in the novel. I think it helps that I essentially wrote a short biography for Scott, like I have for all of my other characters. The character becomes alive in my head, and all I need to do is drop him into a situation and let him play.

Though it wasn't until I wrote Tinker, Tailor, Goyim, Spy that I realized how much of a stiff Scott really was. But, then again, I don't know too many party animals who want to be accountants when they grow up.

And by the time of O Little Town of Bethlehem, I only just managed to hint at Scott's isolation. Not only did he not fit in anywhere in Israel, even his own office, he had just killed or arrested most of the people he had spent the previous three weeks with. At that attrition rate, it's hard to keep a long term friendship going.

And then I started considering how much the character of Scott Murphy fit with the end product in the novel.  Despite all of the new things I discovered about his character, and the more his past has developed in front of me, the puzzle pieces of his life still fit together.
[More below the break.]

Writer's Rules For Villains

Rules for Antagonists, Villains, etc.


A long while ago, a writer came up with a contest for Rules for Superheroes. It was cute, and genre-specific.

But I always like a smart enemy to go with my protagonists. Preferably, someone who thinks ahead.  So, I have Rules for Antagonists.  Be they killers in murder mysteries, archvillains in comic books, or your basic takeover the world types in science fiction and fantasy, this should be their playbook.


Rule #1: NEVER. TOUCH. THE GIRLFRIEND.  It only pisses them off.

Drazen's Corollary: While abducting the significant other / close relation of your archrival in order to lure him/her into your sinister trap, it will only serve to piss them off.  Your normally docile hero, who tends towards nonlethal force, will seriously consider thrashing you to within an inch of your life, and--if no sidekicks are there to enforce restraint--might go three inches beyond that.

Parker's Corollary on Drazen: If you MUST lure them anywhere, use the standard busload of children chosen at random--it will typically serve to get the required effect, especially with a note to the local media sources and/or police agencies.  Should you do this in a city with a high protagonist population (eg: Marvel's New York), be certain to request the hero of your choice: otherwise you get all of them.


Rule #2. Don't gloat. The amount of time it takes for you to boast, and threaten, and deliver your well-practiced maniacal laughter, someone you overlooked will have unplugged your weapon / unlocked the handcuffs on the prisoners / otherwise screwed up your plans.  Gloat after you've won. (Also: See rule 7)

Fletcher's Corollary: Overlook no one. Seriously, if you're going to take over the world / kill someone / unleash a diabolical scheme, no one is unimportant. Witnesses will provide evidence. Just because it's some nobody in the background asking questions doesn't mean there's no threat—people in the background tend to observe a lot.

Goldfinger's Corollary: Never use the line, "Because you are all about to die anyway, I will tell you all about my evil plan."  This includes all variations on this theme.


Rule #3: Avoid patterns. No matter how comfortable you are with a certain places / style / or MO, repeating it on a constant loop will only serve to have the authorities find you.



Rule #4: Wear gloves during your crimes. If possible, wear a full body suit to prevent fingerprints, hairs, or skin cells from being left behind.

Grissom's Corollary For Killers: This includes keeping souvenirs.



Rule #5: Don't let ideology govern your tactics. Just because your ideology says that your enemy is inferior doesn't make them stupid.

Tarkin's Corollary. Underestimating your enemies will get you killed.

Thrawn's Corollary on Tarkin: Underestimating your allies will also get you killed.


Rule #6: Suicide bombers have never won a war, or even a battle. It only wastes experienced soldiers. Even disposable foot soldiers are not infinite. Minions do not grow on trees.

Zahn's Corollary: Unless you have a cloning unit for disposable foot-soldiers.

Von Doom's (PhD) Corollary on Zahn:  Or you build your own.


Rule #7 (or Rule 2, Expanded): If you have a chance to remove the adversary from the playing field on a permanent basis, do so. Do not lecture them, explain your scheme, or toy with them. Shoot them in the head, and move on.

Stark's Corollary: Also, do not wound them so they can still be useful to you. If they can be useful to you, they can also hurt you.

Ming's Corollary on Stark: Your enemy can be useful to you – dead. Examples are usually better that way.



Rule #8: If you cannot see the hero, worry.

Murphy's Corollary: If you cannot see your adversary, s/he is behind you.



Rule #9: No self destruct mechanisms, unless they are password protected, and require the passwords of at least three of your closest allies.  And confirmed by you. Twice.



Rule #10: Plan ahead.  You have all the time in the world to unleash your deadly plot on the world, or execute your crime.  Take appropriate precautions, and don't assume that everything will go according to plan.  If your plan is perfect, you're missing something.  Murphy is always right.

Palpatine's Corollary: If you are going to invite your enemies to come into range of your ultimate weapon, make sure that it's finished first.



Rule #11: No time travel. You don't have enough aspirin in the world to deal with the headache it will cause.

Doctor's Corollary: Unless you have a blue box.
 

 
Rule #12: Whatever psychological problems you have, make sure that you utilize them well.

Wilson's Corollary: Don't suffer from madness.  Enjoy every minute of it.



Rule #13: When your adversary is incapacitated, on the floor, at your mercy, it is not the time to (a) exercise your creativity in designing Rube Goldberg-esque death traps (b) write your monologue or (c) start gloating.  The answer is (d) shoot them in the head and move on.

Disasters to Marvel At: A Comic Discussion.

While I generally leave anything referring to comic books or superheroes to others, I am now stepping in.  The disaster known as Marvel Comics has become a wasteland of jibberish for years now.  Finally, there is a solution at hand.

Dear Disney, you own Marvel now. Have Joe Quesada walk the plank off the roof of 666 5th avenue. You can have Johnny Depp hold the sword that nudges him off, if you like.

Why do I say that? About five years ago, DC Comics started their epic of the week. Marvel, in perfect monkey-see-monkey-do fashion, has tried to keep up. In this effort, the result has been … nothing I can adequately describe using PG-13 language.

Let's see if we can all follow this round of abject stupidity.