Showing posts with label thor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thor. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Review of Thor: Ragnarok

If you know Norse mythology, you know that Ragnarok is basically the doom of Asgard. It is the end of all things. Can Thor, god of thunder, stop the cataclysm from happening?
Going by the first minutes of the film, yes. Yes he can.

When last we saw our intrepid Avenger, Thor had flown off in search of the Infinity Gems (the shiny MacGuffin devices from half the franchise). Finding none, he is now in search of the cause of his dreams: dreams of Ragnarok. It leads him to Surtur ... some sort of magma ...Satan ... thing. Surtur monologes a bit about how he will destroy of of Asgard, bwahahahaha ... and Thor interrupts him for some comic moments, and we're off.

However, the end of all things isn't quite averted. Hela, goddess of death, has been trapped for half a million years, and she's out, and she's ready to rule everything.

So, nicely epic. But can they pull it off?

Largely, yes.

Hela is released, and due to a problem with the Rainbow Bridge, Thor and Loki don't get a full confrontation with Hela, but are thrown down onto an alien planet. Thor is captured via cheap technology tricks, and is made to fight in a gladiatorial arena owned by Jeff Goldblum.  Yes, Jeff has tired of playing with dinosaurs, and wants to play with comic book characters instead. It's all very strange.

The whole film is strange from start to finish. There is a definite departure in tone from the other Thor films, giving it more of a Guardians feel to it. Thor, the deadly serious, makes for a surprisingly good slapstick artist. I was surprised too. I think I laughed at this one more than I did at Guardians.

All in all, this was straight up fun. There are shoot outs that make me think of Flash Gordon (the one with Topol, Queen, and Max von Sydow) to such a point that I thought excerpts of the soundtrack would start playing at any moment. At one point, "Pure Imagination" does start playing. Yes, really. There's comedy. There's some well-done plotting. Nothing is really forced (okay, one scene is, to be seen below). I'd even say the Pulp crowd would be entertained, given that we have a space ship firing a machine gun at Fenris while a horde of zombie soldiers are being mowed down by a lightning-wielding demigod, who shot his way out of an intergalactic gladiatorial ring with a laser rifle.

Now, you know that there are several elements they must address in the film. such as the post-credit scene in Doctor Strange. You know from the end of The Dark World that Loki is on the throne of Asgard, pretending to be Odin. You know that he was looking for the Infinity gems. You know that someone might want to mention that Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) isn't in this movie -- and frankly, I have no idea how they could have fit her in as well. All of these plot points are actually addressed and resolved within-- at a guess-- about fifteen minutes in.

I have two major problems with the movie, and a minor one, below. One, we have a moment that is a variation on the "you have hidden depths" meme that we've seen before -- though I don't have a problem with how they did it, I have a problem with where they put it. It's rather awkwardly jammed in. I blame whoever edited the film together. It's fairly jarring.  You'll see where they put it. I liked the scene itself (it could have been a minute longer), and it had some witty lines, but it's sort of shoehorned in, like the editor went trigger happy somewhere along the line. I know there are several shots and lines of dialogue cut from the trailer to the film; I know that it happens, but given some parts of the ending, I think someone went overboard.

My second major problem: character deaths. Of the five character deaths in this film, only one is lingered on for any length of time. The other four were murdered off-handedly, making me wonder why some of these people were even brought in.

The acting is surprisingly well done. Hemsworth is a great straight man, and pulls off the big epic moments, as well as the slapstick. Don't worry ladies, you'll get shirtless Thor -- though he seems to have bulked down, and has gone more for martial art muscle than gym muscle.

Cumberbatch as Strange is even better, and funnier here than he was in his own movie. It was fun, and they got rid of him in a matter of three minutes, a good thing, since he might have stolen this film if he was more than a cameo.

Tom Hiddleston as Loki ... is Tom Hiddleston as Loki. Has anyone ever had any problem with his Loki? Loki's still insane, but dang, he's got style. And he knows how to make an entrance.

Hela ... she's a serviceable villain. She's fun, and she leaves more of an impression than the dark elves from The Dark World. She even comes with her own army of zombie Rivendell elves. Yes, I know they're supposed to be old Asgard warriors. And she comes with Fenris as her pet.

Valkyrie -- Sigh. You know, I didn't mind Idris Elba as Heimdall, because he brings gravitas and .. he ACTS LIKE HEIMDALL. I didn't mind a random Asian dude thrown in as one of the Warriors Three, since they're largely background characters. But when you replace Valkrie, a six-foot blonde who should be built like Red Sonja, with a 5'4" Tessa Thompson, I have multiple levels of why this is a problem. It will help if you have no actual attachment to the comic book character in the first place. Trust me on this

Karl Urban as the Executioner ... while I like Urban, pretending that this character is anything like the comic book version is idiotic. I presume that this is the last Thor film, for multiple reasons, but most of all because they felt the need to jam in certain characters without bothering to make them anything like their comic book counterparts. Damn it, Idris Elba at least acts like Heimdall.

Again, a fun film. Possibly the best Thor film. Definitely the funniest Marvel film. Though I'm surprised at their restraint: I had expected at least new one Infinity Gem, and didn't get one. If I recall correctly, there are still two missing.

But we'll see.

Right now, I don't have an analysis for what this means for the rest of the Marvel universe. I have some guesses, but it's pure speculation.

Ragnarok is definitely recommended on the big screen.

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Marvel at #SDCC 2017: Captain Marvel, Thor, and Infinity War

This will not be a comprehensive look at everything Marvel had at San Diego Comic Con this year.

In part because they dropped an Avengers trailer during SDCC .... and it's been leaked, and taken down in short order. It's come back and forth from being released online, and taken down.

So, to start with, the most important piece of news ... Punisher will be in The Defenders.

And if he isn't, they've got a trailer to explain (the 60 second mark)



Well, that didn't add much ... but show us that Stan Lee is still alive. Good for him.

And now, we've got Thor: Ragnarok



I was a little worried that they were going to be focused on the wrong things in this one. I like that Bruce Banner appears in the trailer as Bruce Banner. It could have been all too easy for them to have the not so jolly green giant have all the screen time. But seeing Mark Ruffalo is reassuring. And ... is that Hulk versus Fenris? Really? Huh.

Though I'm amused that Jeff Goldblum is even in the franchise now.

I especially like how Loki is revealed here. I was wondering how they were going to handle it. Also, gee whiz, they're using GUNS. Heh.

But, damn it, I want to see how Doctor Strange shows up in the film. I'd rather it would be more than just a glance at the end.

Again, we've got more of a humor vibe here, with our opening to the trailer. Definitely more of a Guardians, over the top vibe here.

Also the Avengers Infinity War trailer opened with the Guardians running into space debris ... Thor. Who looks pretty much like he does here, only far more run down.

Speaking of Avengers Infinity War, it's got some poster art.

infinity-war-poster

So, there's that.

In other news, they're discussing Captain Marvel. In the comics, Carol Danvers, air force fighter pilot, was kidnapped by aliens called the Skrulls, experimented on, and turned into a neigh-invincible, flying juggernaut who shoots lasers out of her hands.

In the Cinematic universe .... Captain Marvel will be set in the 1990s.

... What?

Okay, it's been confirmed that the Skrulls will actually show up. They've been wary about showing another alien race here. Though I'm wondering why they haven't used the Skrulls before this, given that they've had ample excuses and opportunities to do so. Especially since, in the Comics, the Skrulls have been at war with the Kree (of Guardians) forever ... why were the Kree at war with the Nova Corps in Guardians? But I suppose that legal issues have been settled, and Captain Marvel will settle the Kree-Skrull war? Who knows?

The film will also star Samuel L. Jackson with two eyes. Because the 90s.

Yeah, I have no idea why they'd set it in the 90s. The actress they have for Captain Marvel, Brie Larson, looks like she's 12. Unless they're going to say that the powers have slowed down her aging ... but if that's the case, where the bleep has she been through: three alien invasions, a robot army, and a SHIELD meltdown?

The answer is probably ... IN SSSSSPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAACCCCCEEEE.

But we'll see.

All in all, it looks like Marvel is going to stay on top for a while. As long as you don't count their network TV shows. Those just look like they suck.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Marvel after Guardians 2: Where do we go from here?

After Age of Ultron, I did a post on the rest of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Where would it go, what would we see? What would the movies consist of?

I did the same thing after Captain America: Civil War ... which was only last year. Huh.

I didn't do anything after Doctor Strange ... though I don't recall why. Probably because it didn't have a lot to add.

It goes without saying that everything from here on out is going to have spoilers for the franchise to date. If you've seen Guardians of the Galaxy vol 2, the only spoilers will be speculation that I might get right. Also, perhaps some comic book spoilers.

If you don't want spoilers, STOP NOW.

Now then, where were we....?

After Guardians of the Galaxy vol 2...

Infinity Gems in The Line up

Throughout the series the Infinity Gems have been the major MacGuffin devices: The Tesseract / Cosmic Cube, the "mind gem" in Vision's head, the "Aether" of Thor: The Dark World, Guardians of the Galaxy delivered one to the planet of the Nova corps.... and Doctor Strange showed us a gem in the amulet of Agimotto.

Which means there is still one infinity gem left out there.

Given everything that's happened thus far, I'm surprised how little Phase 3 has been about the build up to Avengers: Infinity War.  Especially considering how little Thanos has made an appearance. The main villain, Thanos, has been a background character in three films: Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, Age of Ultron, and that's about it. And yet, he's barely been involved. A little more on this later, but ... Thanos is supposed to be the villain behind everything since Avengers (okay, not everything, he's not Moriarty, but still): he provided Loki an army, unleashed a crazed Kree on the universe, and .... he showed up for a second after the credits of Age of Ultron. That's it.

On screen, we know nothing about his character, his goals, or why he wants the gems.

At this point, I'm seriously wondering just how much screen time Thanos is going to have in the upcoming films. By the time Inifinity War comes up, we will have been building towards him for a decade. (Iron Man came out in 2008).

The lineup thus far is
  • Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
  • Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
  • Black Panther (2018)
  • Avengers: Infinity War Part I (2018)
  • Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)
  • Captain Marvel (2019)
  • Avengers: Infinity War Part II (2019)
If you're wondering what happened to the Inhumans movie, Agents of SHIELD happened, that's what.

And yes, Spider-Man, even though he's shared by Sony, will be part of the MCU from here on in.

We'll also know that there is one Infinity gem left in play.

I'm going to cut out everything that isn't new, so check out the previous post to get the full story.

Where is Thanos? 

My mind is blown at how we didn't see any hint of Thanos or the infinity gems in Guardians 2. Nebula complained about how Thanos abused her growing up. But he's barely been in this franchise. Despite his appearances, even in Ultron, all he's done has been to back Loki in Avengers and the Kree in Guardians. He's had a handful of lines in the three films we've seen him in. If he's had a full page of dialogue, I'd be surprised. At best, he's a consulting supervillain.

I expected that Guardians 2 would at least have had Thanos attacking the Nova Corps to get the MacGuffin gem from GotG.

The last Gem

I was surprised that they didn't use a single gem as a plot point in Guardians 2.

Infinity gems we've done:
  • The Cube (Captain America, Avengers) currently in Asgard
  • The Eye (Doctor Strange), currently with the rest of the sorcerers.
  • The Aether (Thor: The Dark World), last seen with the Collector
  • Mind Gem (Age of Ultron), last seen with Vision, 
  • Purple Gem, (Guardians of the Galaxy), with the Nova Corps  

There is still ONE MORE GEM kicking around.  So where the bleep is it.

Is it possible that we can see the last gem in...
  • Thor: Ragnarok (2017)? Possible, but I doubt it. Asgard already has the Cube. Though I suppose Hel could be using a gem to trash Asgard.
  • Black Panther (2018)? Gee, what does Wakanda use for a power supply?
  • Avengers: Infinity War Part I (2018)? Could they be holding off until this film to reveal the last gem? Not impossible ... not sure if it's likely. I'm told that Thanos will have the whole set by the end of this film... but they could be lying.
  • Captain Marvel (2019)? It's not impossible, given the premise of Captain Marvel. More on her later.
  • Avengers: Infinity War Part II (2019)? Again, Thanos should have everything by the end of the first part. So we'll see. Marvel lies.
I suppose that they could easily hold off on the last gem until Infinity War part one. That way, we can unite Marvel cosmic with Earth bound Marvel.

Adam Warlock

There was only one reason for the the writers to have brought out the Sovereign race (the gold people) to be in this film, and it's setting up Adam Warlock, as I said last time.

Who?

This guy.



As I predicted, they're following enough of the original 1991 Infinity Gauntlet storyline that Adam Warlock made a cameo. Who is he and what does he do? Well, having read the Infinity Gauntlet comic ... I have no idea. He was designed to be the perfect creature, and was trapped in one of the infinity gems for a while, giving him a tight connection to the Gauntlet.

.... A connection he won't have time to develop at this point. Which is going to be strange. But then, it's Marvel Cosmic. It's all strange.

Celestials / Watchers



Stan Lee's cameo in this one is stranger than usual, as he's talking to a race of large, big-headed creatures. They're called Watchers and they're supposed to observe reality, even though they're really powerful, and could probably warp reality whenever they like. Earth's watcher is named Uatu.

The Watchers are Celestials, which Ego, the Living Planet, is. A celestial is, as it sounds -- a celestial being. They're all powerful, beyond reason, even. Galactus, who literally eats planets, is one of the least powerful Celestials. One of the other Celestials makes a cameo appearance in the movie, mostly by name -- Eternity. Yes, In the Marvel Cosmic universe, there is an entity called Eternity, which is the embodiment of all of space and time.

In the original Infinity Gauntlet storyline, the celestials went up against Thanos, armed with the gauntlet. This included Eternity.

Thanos won.

Consider this a moment, and just consider how deeply everyone is screwed.


The Ravagers

Yondu's people, the Ravagers, are either space pirates or space rednecks, depending on who you listen to. The cameos included Sylvester Stallone, Ving Rhames, Michelle Yeoh, as well as a magic user.

Does anyone think that Marvel wants to waste these three actors on cameos? They are heavy hitting actors, after all.  And one of them uses Doctor Strange level magic.

I don't think so either.

My best guess right now is that they're an army that they're holding in reserve for yet another end-film epic space battle. I had originally considered that, if anyone uses the Defenders in a film, they'd basically be holding off footsoldiers. It could be that they use Ravagers instead, depending on the context.

But yeah, I could see another space battle with the Ravagers to the rescue. We could see them in anything involving Marvel Cosmic -- Ragnarok or Captain Marvel.

Ragnarok

From what I can see, Thor: Ragnarok will serve as I predicted -- performing the same purpose as Civil War by moving players off of the chess board.

At least PART of Ragnarok should have Thanos. At the very least, it should have him in a final, post-credit scene in which he goes through the wreckage of Asgard, coming up with the Infinity gauntlet, and probably the Tesseract. It would basically be the final post credit scene from Age of Ultron. 

Since GotG 2 only talked about Thanos, this must be the movie that shows off what a threat level he truly is. Yes, I know that the one attacking Asgard in the trailer is a woman named Hel, or Hella, but if she's sent there by Thanos ... well then, if she's a lacky, imagine what he's like as the boss?

Doctor Strange


Again, Strange has an infinity gem.

But, more importantly, we know that Strange ends up helping Thor (and Loki) in the post-credit scenes of Strange's film.

So....
  1. Does Thor come to Strange in the middle of Ragnarok?
  2. Does Thor meet up with Strange between Ragnarok and Infinity War and we don't see what happens? Thor just shows up and bellows, "This is Strange! He is a mighty warrior and friend! Who helped me find Odin!"
  3. Or do Thor and Loki come to Strange during Infinity War?
Good questions. No idea. It all depends on how they want to play it. I'd like to see Strange in act 3 of Ragnarok, but I can't guess too

Black Panther


Again, check the previous post on this one.

Again, possibly, this might have Infinity Gem #6. Because let's face it, Wakanda has to run on something  as a power source.

Avengers: Infinity War, Part I

Depending on how this plays out, by the time this film opens, Thanos will at least have one out of the 6 gems-- and my bet is on the Cosmic cube.

It might be easy for him to get #2 from the Collector.

It'll be trickier to get #3 from Xandar. In short order, the Nova corps will be under attack in the first half of this film. Unless Thanos is going to bluff and trick his way into the good graces of the Nova corps -- however, since some people already know the name Thanos (like Drax) I think it's unlikely he can just smile and charm his way through the front door.

In short: expect a full on war as the opening gambit.

Obviously, it won't be too much like that. Remember, Thanos is playing a long game, and the opening of Infinity War could be similar to the opening of the first Avengers: a little bit of a monologue about the plan. Maybe they'll show us Thanos as a villain connected to the rest of the films, and his motivations along the way?

But after Asgard, the Collector, and the Nova corps, Thanos should be on his way to Earth. Vision has the Mind gem, and Strange has a gem of Time. If Thanos wants to collect the whole set, he has to go through the wielder of at least one, if not two gems.

Which means Thanos is going to have to go through a half dozen low rent Avengers (ie: Iron Man's Avenger team)and the sorcerers of Doctor Strange.

As I said last time, I suspect the bulk of this movie will be picking up the pieces of Civil War, bringing everyone back on board. I suspect it will also bring Stephen Strange into the Avengers (whatever may or may not be left of them).

Expect the last scene of the movie to have a money shot of every last superhero gathered in one space with the obligatory "Let's get to work" or even, maybe,just maybe, "Avengers, ASSEMBLE!" Yes, that would be one crowded room.

If I took Marvel seriously when they insisted that Coulson would be back for Avengers 3, right after "Avengers Assemble," Coulson should appear out of nowhere and answer "Whatever you say Captain."

.....But I don't have have that much confidence in them.

For all I know, this one could open with Thor crashing into Earth after Ragnarok, and playing Paul Revere: Thanos is coming, Thanos is coming! It's time to mount up.

At the end of the day, part one should be about getting the band back together.  The Russo brothers (in charge of the franchise right now) have already said that more characters will be coming in with this one. That would make a certain level of sense.

Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)

The fact that this sequel takes place in between films makes me think that Thanos may not be on Earth by the end of Infinity War Part I. Otherwise, nothing else would be going on.

Though it's possible that the film will take place before the opening of Infinity War, but who knows?

Though the end of this one might have an Avenger knocking on his door saying "Suit up. We have work to do."

Captain Marvel


Captain Marvel, Carol Danvers is, essentially, an Inhuman (as seen on Agents of SHIELD) an alien weapons program that tried to turn other races into living weapons of death.  In the AoS franchise, the official Inhumans license is due to the Kree ... in the comic books, the Skrulls created Captain Marvel, but we haven't seen the Skrulls, because Fox still has the license for them.

If we're going to do yet another flipping origin story (please God, no), we may start with Carol Danvers being abducted by aliens to be experimented upon. She gets powers, she gets loose, she goes to town on her captors as she fights her way back to Earth.... or she can get a ride back to Earth in an after-credits scene with Christ Pratt. Perhaps.

If the GotG aren't already in Infinity War part 1, I will lay money, right here, right now, that Carol Danvers will be given a ride home (in a post-credit scene), by the Guardians. Because this is another way to bring this particular band of misfits to Earth.

Right now, we need a link between Marvel Earth and Marvel Cosmic. Thor and Marvel are really the only places that it can happen outside of Infinity War.

Infinity War Part II

Welcome to the End of All Things.  This should be the biggest, baddest, most epic shootout ever.

Again, I've heard that Thanos will have every gem by the end of Infinity War Part 1. Yes, I know it's not the title anymore, so shoot me. I don't have a better one, unless it's Infinity Quest.

But since we were told one thing and got another for Guardians 2 (Facebook remembers all), I'm not going to place money on being told the truth from anybody at Marvel.

So my options are.
  1. The Avengers are in a beat-the-clock chase to collect all the Infinity Gems before Thanos can get them, 
  2. We're going to defend the gems of Earth!
  3. "Thanos has all the gems, and the gauntlet, and we're screwed."

If it's #3, this might be their excuse to start recasting certain actors (like Robert Downey Jr., who is both awesome, and getting too old for this, and reaching 9 Marvel films by this point).

Yes, Infinity War #1 could end with Thanos getting the final infinity gem. Except I've read the original comic book. Think of it this way: any one of these gems seen thus far can destroy a planet, if not the universe. Now collect all six....

It will be bad for our heroes. In the comic, when Thanos had all six gems, he won. Against everybody. And then he did something truly stupid.

Obviously, the people who have gems will feature heavily in this one.  Vision and Doctor Strange may not be enough, even if they're both at their full potential.

If they're lucky, this battle will take place in outer space, and not on Earth.

If it takes place on Earth, let's hope it takes place in a desert that doesn't have a lot of people.

Also, remember all of the street-level fighting that happened in The Avengers? If the Russos really want to play ball with every character ever, then we should have NetFlix meet up with The Avengers. Especially since The Defenders show up this year. They could dealwith the street-level, "Save the civilians" work while the heavy hitters try to stop the threat. However, given how little interaction there has been, I'm not holding my breath.

My money is more on the Ravagers acting as the infantry.

I think that's all I have right now. We'll see if I'm right about any of this. But there are pieces of the puzzle starting to emerge, though I'm surprised at how many are still in the shadows.

We'll see.


The Dragon Awards are open and ready for nominations, and I have a list of suggestions you might want to take a look at. If you already  have a good idea of what you want, just click here to go and vote for them. The instructions are right there.


The Love at First Bite series. 


    

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Thor: Ragnarok, a Teaser falls

For all those women who have been awaiting the latest in the Shirtless Hemsworth series, I give you: Thor: Ragnarok



In the original comic books, the Ragnarok storyline was all about getting Thor off the map for the Civil War event of 2005.

Mysteriously enough, at the same time, also before Civil War, Hulk was shipped off planet, via rocket ship, to land on an alien world where he would eventually rise to become ruler.  The title of THAT event was Planet Hulk.

I guess that the films decided that they were going to do two of them at the same time.

For those people who remember, when we last saw Loki, he was taking over Asgard disguised as Odin. And here, we see Hela, queen of Hel trashing Asgard. This version may or may not be related to Loki, like the original myths, but it's a really long story or Marvel doing whatever they like with mythology.

So, Hela trashes Asgard. Thor becomes a gladiator on an alien world but by Jeff Goldblum, and runs into Hulk. There will be smashing.

I suspect that the three act structure of this one will be-- Asgard is toast at the 40 minute mark, Thor, Banner and Loki are able to get away from the alien gladiator world by the end of act 2, and act three will open with Strange consulting/

Yes, Cumberbatch is confirmed to be in this movie as Doctor Strange. In fact, if you look at the IMDB page, the cast list starts with Loki, then Strange, Idris Elba's Heimdall, Cate Blanchett's Hela, and THEN, Chris Hemsworth.  He's getting fifth billing and he's the title character? Oy.  Obviously, this will not be in the credits for the film, they'll have a different arrangement, but still....

SPECULATION: As I said before, just going off of the title, this will enable Thanos to get his hands on the Tesseract / Cosmic Cube from Avengers. Or, as I said,
This means that Ragnarok will either have Thanos attacking Asgard, or will have Thanos in a final, post-credit scene in which he goes through the wreckage of Asgard, coming up with the gauntlet, and probably the Tesseract.
Now that we know Thanos is not attacking Asgard (directly), I expect that his post-credits scene from Age of Ultron will be the actual end of Ragnarok

With Thor going to other planets in this one, will Marvel take this opportunity to has him run into the Guardians of the Galaxy? I would, if only to bring them more into the fold.

Also, right now, we have five Infinity gems accounted for, there's one outstanding. When last we looked, Dr. Strange has one, Vision has one (putting two on Earth), The Collector has one, Asgard has one, and the Nova corps has one.

Guardians 2 and Ragnarok are perhaps the best opportunity for Thanos to get three out of six -- but there is Captain Marvel and two more Avengers films that should provide ample opportunity. At the very least, I expect to see the final infinity gem revealed this year. (Yes, I also said that it's possible it could show up in Wakanda. If it doesn't show up in the main MCU films this year, that's the only option left)

But we'll see.

Speaking of superhero like topics
My books
The Love at First Bite series. 

    

Monday, May 23, 2016

Marvel after Civil War

After Age of Ultron, I did a post on the rest of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Where would it go, what would we see? What would the movies consist of?

If Civil War is anything to go by, every film from now on has the potential to be an Avengers movie, so I should probably do another one.

It goes without saying that everything from here on out is going to have spoilers for the franchise to date. If you've seen Civil War, the only spoilers will be speculation that I might get right. Also, perhaps some comic book spoilers.

If you don't want spoilers, STOP NOW.

Now then, where were we....?

After Civil War, I am curious about how much the future films will be Avengers tie-ins.  Especially the Black Panther movie. But we'll get to that.

The Line up

As we've seen in the previous films, the Infinity Gems have been the major MacGuffin devices in the series. The Tesseract / Cosmic Cube was the main plot device in Captain America and The Avengers. The "mind gem" was in Loki's staff in The Avengers, and was responsible for Ultron. The "Aether" of Thor: The Dark World turns into a third. And Guardians of the Galaxy was driven by a fourth (held on the planet of the Nova corps).

For the record, there are two others out there. And there's a reason Why Avengers 3 is Infinity War, part one and two.

Phase 3 will be all about the build up to Avengers: Infinity War.  Why? Because it has to. To this point, the villain, Thanos, has been a background character in only three films: Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, Age of Ultron, and that's about it.

Thanos is supposed to be the villain behind everything since Avengers ... okay, not everything, he's not Moriarty, but still, he provided Loki an army, unleashed a crazed Kree on the universe, and .... he showed up for a second after the credits of Age of Ultron. That's it. On screen, we know nothing about his character, his goals, or why he wants the gems.

From now on, Thanos has to appear in several of the upcoming films. Must. Why? Because by the time Inifinity War comes up, we will have been building towards him for a decade. (Iron Man came out in 2008).

The lineup thus far (and it's been changed in last year) is

  • Doctor Strange (2016)
  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)
  • Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
  • Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
  • Black Panther (2018)
  • Avengers: Infinity War Part I (2018)
  • Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)
  • Captain Marvel (2019)
  • Avengers: Infinity War Part II (2019)
  • Inhumans (TBA)

If you're wondering what happened to the Inhumans movie, Agents of SHIELD happened, that's what.

And yes, Spider-Man, even though he's shared by Sony, will be part of the MCU from here on in.

We'll also know that there are two Infinity gems left in play.

Dissassembled

They're all still running.

Civil War split the Avengers team right down the middle. In fact, odds are that Captain America won't be seen again in any film until 2018, because he and his people will be on the run. Bucky's on ice. Hawkeye will probably go back to retirement. Ant-Man is a fugitive on a good day anyway. In short, none of these people will be able to pop their heads up without getting it shot off.

Now imagine what happens when Avengers comes up again. That's a lot for them to overcome, considering the events of Civil War. Because trust me, what I know of Thanos, and the Infinity Gems, they're going to need all hands on deck. And then they'll need even more.

Which leads us to ....

Doctor Strange

With the infinity gems, supposition is that one of them is the "Eye of Agamotto," a talisman that Doctor Strange uses. He'll have #5 of 6.

Gotta catch them all.

Other data is TBD. I suspect there will be little tie-in to the rest of the series, outside of having an infinity gem.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2


We're now at the point where Thanos must be explored as a character. Why? Because this is the Marvel Cosmic Universe, where Thanos mainly exists. And if Thanos isn't brought in at this point, well, he's barely been in this franchise.  Despite his appearances, even in Ultron, all he's done has been to back Loki in Avengers and the Kree in Guardians. He's had a handful of lines in the three films we've seen him in. If he's had a full page of dialogue, I'd be surprised. At best, he's a consulting supervillain.

GotG 2 would give him his moment to shine, and show off just how much of a badass he is.... Oh, hell, one of the last lines in the GotG movie was about Thanos. We should at least get a CV on this guy.

Personally, I think at least part of the plot should have Thanos attacking the Nova Corps to get the MacGuffin gem from GotG, if not getting his hands on gem #6.  However, if they're following the original 1991 Infinity Gauntlet storyline, I expect a man named Adam Warlock to appear here. Then they're really going to get strange ... Stranger, anyway.

Spider-Man: Homecoming

... Pass. I have nothing.

Seriously, how is Spider-Man going to have something that impacts the MCU? Beuller? Beuller?

Short version is that this will be a thorough introduction film, without any origin story. Thank God. That's the best part about Civil War -- Spider-Man will have already been invented. I don't have to see yet another Uncle Ben die. And they've done their best to avoid the line "With Great Power comes great responsibility."

We'll have to see what happens.

Ragnarok

Dollars to doughnuts, Thor: Ragnarok will serve the same purpose as Civil War did. It's going to start moving players off of the chess board. It'll at least be something else to overcome for Avengers: Infinity War. Because not only will this have Thor, it will also have Bruce Banner in the cast.

Yes, I know Natalie Portman won't be back for the next film, and honestly, who needs her? When We last saw Thor fly off, he was going to investigate his visions in Age of Ultron, with the potential end of Asgard and the Infinity Gems. Honestly, where would Jane Foster fit in all this?

Where would Bruce Banner fit? Easy. The "Tesseract" (the Cosmic Cube of the comics) emitted gamma radiation (Avengers), so expect the other gems to have something similar.

I suspect that part of Ragnarok will, in some instance, feature Thanos. Let's face it, right now, the Tesseract is being sheltered in Asgard. In fact, last time we saw the Infinity Gauntlet (the user interface for all six Infinity Gems), it was in the vaults of Asgard. Thanos has to get his hands on it somehow.

This means that Ragnarok will either have Thanos attacking Asgard, or will have Thanos in a final, post-credit scene in which he goes through the wreckage of Asgard, coming up with the gauntlet, and probably the Tesseract.

One way or the other, Thanos should end up with the Cosmic Rubix Cube, and we should see Asgard falling apart under the rule of fake-Odin. If GotG 2 just talks about Thanos, this must be the movie that shows off what a threat level he truly is.  If an entire civilization of aliens who are all on the level of Thor are going to get trounced by Thanos, what hope does everyone else in the universe have?

Black Panther

This will be ... interesting, depending on how they want to play it.

Option 1: Civil War 1.5.  Large chunks of Captain America's Avenger team (Secret Avengers, if you will) are hiding out in Wakanda. Since Wakanda is basically an entire country running on Stark-level technology, anyone who wants to get their hands on it will want a piece. This could be Hydra, AIM, or any other sinister organization.

Option 1a: People discover Bucky, on ice, in Wakanda.

Option 2: This has nothing whatsoever to do with Civil War, and will involve T'Challa dealing with people a) stealing Wakandan technology or b) peddling Wakandan tech on the black market. Expect to see Andy Serkis' character from Age of Ultron make an appearance. Probably with a cybernetic hand. After all, Serkis' character was a Mister Klaue (pronounced "Claw"). Insert your own joke here.

(Side note: In Age of Ultron, when Serkis has to deal with a CGI motion-capture character, you have to wonder if he thought So this is what it feels like to be the real character when the other is a green screen effect. He and James Spader must have an some interesting conversations. All I'm saying.)

My money is on some variation on #2. If Serkis isn't in the film at all, I'll be a little disappointed.

Unless...

Option #3 (a joke post): Black Panther moves to Hell's Kitchen to take over for Charlie Cox's Daredevil.

..... BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.  It'll never happen.

(PS: If it does happen, I was only making a joke based off of Black Panther doing the same thing in the comics)

Possibly this might have Infinity Gem #6. Because let's face it, Wakanda has to run on something  as a power source.

Avengers: Infinity War, Part I

If my previous guesses are correct, by the time this film opens, Thanos will have 2 out of the 6 gems.

This should either bring Thanos to Earth, or he should be on his way by then. We know that Earth has the Mind Gem with Vision. If we're right about Doctor Strange, he's also got a gem.  If Thanos wants to collect the whole set, he has to go through the wielder of at least one, if not two gems.

As I said last time, the bulk of this movie will be picking up the pieces of Civil War, bringing everyone back on board, bringing Stephen Strange into the Avengers (whatever may or may not be left of them). Expect the last scene of the movie to have a money shot of every last superhero mentioned above gathered in one space with the obligatory "Let's get to work" or even, maybe,just maybe, "Avengers, ASSEMBLE!" Yes, that would be one crowded room.

If I took Marvel seriously when they insisted that Coulson would be back for Avengers 3, right after "Avengers Assemble," Coulson should appear out of nowhere and answer "Whatever you say Captain."

But I don't have have that much confidence in them.

In short: this one should open with Thor crashing into Earth after Ragnarok (assuming he hasn't been blasted into another plane of existence by then), and playing Paul Revere: Thanos is coming, Thanos is coming!

It's time to mount up.

At the end of the day, part one will be about getting the band back together.  The Russo brothers (in charge of the franchise right now) have already said that more characters will be coming in with this one. That would make a certain level of sense.

Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)

Will this feature Ant-Man on the run? No idea. Seriously, no idea. Though Scott Lang has been a fugitive so long, being wanted by the government might not be a deterrent.

But the fact that this sequel takes place in between films makes me think that, no, Thanos will not be on Earth by the end of Infinity War Part I. Otherwise, nothing else would be going on.

Scott Lang will probably be off doing something else of minimal importance in the middle of all of this.

No, Ant-Man doesn't impress me. Civil War was the first time I really liked him.

Though the end of this one will probably be an Avenger knocking on his door saying "Suit up. We have work to do."

Captain Marvel

Captain Marvel, Carol Danvers is, essentially, an Inhuman (as seen on Agents of SHIELD) an alien weapons program that tried to turn other races into living weapons of death.  In the AoS franchise, the official Inhumans license is due to the Kree ... in the comic books, the Skrulls created Captain Marvel, but we haven't seen the Skrulls, yet (or we have seen them, as the Chitauri, depending on who you listen to).

This can go a few ways.  The film can start with Carol Danvers being abducted by aliens to be experimented upon, and the powers she's given cause her to break loose and wreak havoc upon her captors as she fights her way back to Earth, thereby causing another uniting factor between Marvel Earth and Marvel Cosmic.

.... or she can be a bit player freed by the Guardians of the Galaxy in their sequel. Which may work. Maybe. 

Otherwise, if the GotG aren't already in Infinity War part 1, I will lay money, right here, right now, that Carol Danvers will be broken out, or given a ride home (in a post-credit scene), by the Guardians. Because this is another way to bring this particular band of misfits to Earth.

Infinity War Part II

Welcome to the End of All Things.  This should be the biggest, baddest, most epic shootout ever.  I'm not sure if it's going to be (1) the Avengers in a beat-the-clock chase to collect all the Infinity Gems before Thanos can get them, or (2) if it's them defending the last gem, or (3) if it's "Thanos has all the gems, and the gauntlet, and we're screwed."

If it's #3, expect casualties. A lot of them. In fact, this might be their excuse to start recasting certain actors (like Robert Downey Jr., who is both awesome, and getting too old for this, and probably reaching 8 Marvel films by this point, if not more).

Originally, I thought that the Infinity War #1 could end with Thanos getting his hands on the final infinity gem. Except here's the problem. I've read the script ... okay, I read the original comic book. Why will this be "bad" if Thanos has all of the gems?  Think about it: Any one of these gems seen thus far can destroy a planet, if not the universe. Now collect all six.  Yeah. It will be bad for our heroes. Unless someone can trick Thanos into being very, very stupid.

In the comic, when Thanos had all six gems, he won. Against everybody. And then he did something truly stupid.

Obviously, the people who have gems will feature heavily in this one.

In Civil War, Vision wanted to master the gem he wears. Expect Vision to master his gem here. Really master it.

Also expect Doctor Strange to feature heavily. He'll be on Thor-level power by then.

Also? Both of those might not be enough.

If they're lucky, this battle will take place in outer space, and not on Earth.

If it takes place on Earth, let's hope it takes place in Nevada, or the Sahara, or some other location that doesn't have a lot of people.

Also, remember all of the street-level fighting that happened in The Avengers? If the Russos really want to play ball with every character ever, then we should have NetFlix meet up with The Avengers. Especially since The Defenders show up the year before -- with Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Iron Fist, et al. They should be dealing with the street-level, "Save the civilians" work while the heavy hitters try to stop the threat. However, given how little interaction there has been, I'm not holding my breath.

If done well, this will be epic, with each Infinity War film being 3 hours or so.

If done poorly, expect a train wreck. But after Civil War, my money is on epic.

Inhumans

Who cares? We'll see if it even happens. Agents of SHIELD will have probably killed that franchise possibility, especially since the ratings keep dropping each season.

And let's face it, after the Agents of SHIELD and Infinity War, who will give a damn?

And that's ... all the guesswork I can come up with.


Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Strong Female Character Problems

You have probably already seen this Rogue One: A Star Wars Story trailer, but in case you missed it, here it is.



This inspired the question among some friends of mine: what the hell is it with these really freaking tiny women adopting the "strong female character" trope?

Now, if you've read my novels, you know that I have no problem with strong, kick ass women. I've defended against that stupidity from feminazis often enough. Look at my defense of women in military science fiction. Or my article on SFCs. Or when I beat up on the idiocy of Tor writer Liz Bourke.

On the other hand, there is a major problem with the Strong Female Character that's being used lately. Because, sorry, when I create a woman character who is ALSO a bad ass, I also make certain that these women are either a) not a size zero, or b) fighting in creative, indirect ways.

Why? A few reasons. To start with, even among well-skilled (and equally skilled) male fighters, the bigger fighter is probably going to win -- the odds are nearly certain. There's a good reason that Loki rarely, if ever, directly engages with Thor -- Thor has got at least fifty pounds of muscle on him. Depending on the comic, the Joker is not squaring off against Batman and exchanging punches most of the time, because Batman is twice Joker's weight.

Hell, if you have two pro-wrestlers, how many of them fight exactly the same? When you get out of different weight classes, the changes are extreme. But you're not going to have a 5'6" wrestler like Rey Mysterio take on the 6'11" Undertaker in a direct fight -- the smaller wrestler will be bouncing around the ring like a ping pong ball, and trying to catch him is a pain in the ass. Small people fight different than bigger people. Simple as that. If you're small, you go in, strike something critical, then get away from them as soon as possible. If you're big, you close with the opponent, and crush them.

So, why are women being treated so much differently than men in this area? Seriously, there are weight differences between men, but somehow, all women are allowed to fight exactly the same way as men in media, even though women are naturally 50-100 pounds lighter.

Granted, in some cases, this works -- when these well-trained kick ass females are going up against untrained hoodlums, there is no contest. That's superior skill versus brute strength. I'd take a dozen marines with handguns versus three dozen MS-13 members armed with SMGs any day of the week.

But, somehow, as I go through my collection of media, which grows larger with each passing day, the kick ass woman are getting smaller, and their opponents (many of whom are supposed to be of equal talent and ability) are getting bigger.

For example, look at Jaimie Alexander, who is basically playing Jason Bourne on Blindspot -- who can kick the ass of almost everyone she comes across. She is possibly better known as the Lady Sif in the Thor films.

Jaimie Alexander

Okay, yes, she's very pretty. But I didn't pick this photo for the underwear value. Look at her arms. Now look at her legs. Where's the muscle? She's 5'9", but she's also a toothpick. I am never happier than when she's using weaponry, because her shooting someone feels more believable than her bringing down a 6'3" thug with her bare hands.

Enter the other 5'9" female bad ass who has spent her days swinging a sword.



Yeah, I know Xena is a stereotype, but please look at these two actresses, and riddle me this, Batman, which one looks more believable in terms of being able to hold her own in general?

She's not a toothpick, she's not "a guy with breasts," and she had this bright light in her eyes right before she wiped the floor with everyone in a berserker rage, and she looked like she was having fun. (Yes, I'm ignoring some of the later seasons. I think I ditched the show somewhere around the time she met Lucifer ... or when she was crucified by Julius Cesar, after having only met King David ... yeah, that show hurt my brain after a while).

And even after all you do the compare and contrast in build, why are the "strong women fighters" straight-up brawlers? When you consider that not even all men fight like this, why are all women fighting like this? Are the stunt coordinators that stupid? (Unlikely). Or are the directors and writers? (That's where my money is).

Hell, the closest we have to a Lucy Lawless type these days is Adrianne Palicki. She, sadly, was wasted on a Wonder Woman pilot from David E. Kelly (seriously, who allowed the lawyer show guy to make Wonder Woman?), and is currently being wasted on Agents of SHIELD.  People who have better things to do with their lives might recognize her as Perkins from John Wick.

Adrianne Palicki

Note, from this photo, three things.

1) Her body type is not "Toothpick."

2) She is 5'11" in body armor.

3) She is holding an improvised weapon, because people who fight have weaponry.

Thank you. Was that so hard?

Frankly, I think I would have preferred her to being Wonder Woman in the films than Gal Gadot. Why? Because Wonder Woman was many things, but never a toothpick. Heck, I would have even taken Hayley Atwell (Agent Carter), who is 5'7", and not a size zero.

Does anyone remember Antje Traue from Man of Steel? I mean, look at this woman.



Oh wow, look! Muscles!

Height? 5'6"

Can we have her in some of these films? I know everyone in Star Wars is British, but still, can we make an effort here, people?

Seriously, Hollywood, what are you doing to get these toothpicks as actresses? It's very offputting. There's "thin" and then there's "good God, please eat a hamburger, I'm expecting you to break."

This is why, at the end of the day, the most believable kick ass woman in current  media is, well, Scarlet Johansson's Black Widow. Why? Because despite her being 5'3" (yes, she's that tiny), she's 1) not a toothpick and 2) she fights in so many varied and sundry methods and styles, she never takes someone on directly and / or bare handed. She's jumping on people and breaking necks, or dropping them with a gadget, or just shooting them.

Hell, remember Black Widow in Avengers, where she just stood square against Hawkeye and exchanged blows with him? Of course you don't, because it never happened. She jumped all over the place like a freaking rubber ball, and catch her if you can.

Don't get me wrong, there are places and points where not only should these smaller women be used, the can, and have, been used WELL.  Black Widow is brilliantly and intelligently executed. Remember Rey in The Force Awakens? She was tiny, short, and the managed to be victorious in her light saber duel because she fought smart -- she spent most of the fight strategically maneuvering to better positions, using her environment, and was fighting a partially trained Sith who had already been shot with the SciFi equivalent of a howitzer.

Frankly, the best points where getting these tiny, tiny women to perform great feats of strength is, really, science fiction or fantasy. Whether it's the Bionic Woman or Summer Glau as a Terminator, or Buffy the Vampire slayer, it's impressive because they're so small. Supergirl is fine, because, well, she's a freaking alien. But this isn't how normal people operate.  Hell, Buffy was supposed to be stronger than your average bear, and she still jumped around all over the place.

Why is Buffy the Vampire Slayer better executed than some of these more "serious" thrillers, like Blindspot?

(Hell, I'm actually surprised that Jaime Alexander isn't better built, considering she has to carry what looks like at least twenty pounds of plastic armor in the Thor films. I didn't expect her to be that tiny.)

For a moment, let's look at my books ... with normal characters, because I'm not counting the vampire as "normal." That's covered under my "science fiction and fantasy" exception.

(Though I should note, Amanda Colt is not the toothpick Jaimie Alexander. I think I would rather have Scarlet Johansson, if she were a little taller. Anyway...)

If you haven't read / don't recall The Pius Trilogy, I have three women who have gotten into fights.

Exhibit A) Wilhelmina Goldberg: Five-feet tall (really 4'11") Goldberg is a computer nerd. She used to work for the NSA, but went over to the Secret Service to audit security, since she's not tall enough to jump in front of Presidents. Her fights included: punching someone in the balls, and dropping low and cutting their Achilles tendons.

Exhibit B) Maureen McGrail: somewhere around 5'9 (because I don't recall), imagine Jaimie Alexander with about thirty pounds of muscle on her, and a broader frame. She's ridiculously over skilled. Even though she has more black belt levels than Chuck Norris, her fighting style boiled down to: attack joints, attack eyes, and deflecting, rather than blocking attacks.

Exhibit C) Manana Shushurin: 5'7" or so. Also insanely well-trained. Her primary form of fighting?Shooting people in the head. Yes, really. She may have gotten into three actual physical altercations in the entire trilogy, but most of the time, she just shot her enemies. Because bullets are your friend.

Seriously, at the end of the day, can we have a collection of characters and actresses who look, well, healthy? I'm tired of the cliche. It's getting problematic, and the execution is getting more and more lazy as things go on. At least in the Thor films, Alexander's Lady Sif is covered in body armor to bulk her up. But in general, the actresses seem to be getting smaller and shorter, and becoming more like empty-handed, bare-knuckle brawlers. And it really needs to stop.

Monday, February 29, 2016

Flashback blog: Strong Female Character Syndrome

Yes, today is the last day of voting for Sad Puppies 4 nominations. Yes, I know that this is a thing that can lead to all sorts of interesting possibilities. And yes, I'm recycling a blog. Why? Because time. And radio shows. And because I fisked this latest one in October. And I'm having heart palpitations just thinking about SP4, okay? Just vote or read, please.



I believe it was Stuart West who told me in private correspondence that he appreciated how many strong female characters I have. I was a little thrown there because it took me a moment to figure out what he was talking about.

In my novels, I have Manana Shushurin, who's a spy that's more James Bond than George Smiley.  She reads, likes music, has a degree from Wittenberg university .... has no social life, and technically, lives with her mother (technically, I say, because she really lives in her office). She also has a secret that's eating a hole in her life.

I also have Maureen McGrail.  She's an Interpol detective, local Dublin cop, relentless, tenacious, and she knows about three martial arts.  She's also pining for a guy who came into her life, swept her off of her feet (just by being himself, really) and disappeared, without showing even a hint of romantic interest in her.

Then there's Wilhelmina Goldberg, who is 4'11", computer nerd, daughter of two esoteric languages nerds. She likes science fiction and fantasy, programs her computer to talk like characters out of Lord of the Rings, and has a subscription to Security magazine.

In context, I should point out that Stuart was using the strong female character comment as a segue into a completely different point, an issue he found in my writing. (Apparently, I shouldn't be putting in bust size as far as describing a female character.  I neglected to tell Stuart that if I knew anything about clothing, I would probably include men's jacket sizes to paint a clearer, more accurate picture of them, too. But I don't know any men who are the sizes I need. Me? OCD?  Nah....)

In any case, the SFC term struck me, and stuck with me.

And then there was this article, entitled I hate Strong Female Characters.  If you read through it, you might find a few points to agree with, and a few problems.

Now, I agree with the author on the initial point.  I also have problems with the SFC label. I really do, because it tends to detract from, oh, the point. In the example they used of Buffy-- she was smart, witty, with outside the box solutions to non-vampire problems (shall we start with the fertilizer bomb in the high school, or the rocket launcher?).  But "Strong" is the only descriptor one can come up with?

In my own work, I spent so much time on developing characters like Manana and Wilhelmina, their quirks and habits and hobbies, that I feel a little awkward if the best description anyone can come up with about them is just "strong."

Though you want my problem with this author?

Monday, October 19, 2015

Agents of Suck, DOA

That's it. I'm done with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  Period.

We know that, with Fox holding the license to X-Men in a stranglehold / death grip, AoS started using the Inhumans in place of mutants.

I just didn't know they'd be doing so much of the X-men plot -- not the awesome plot where they're fighting intergalactic empires, but the plot where people with superpowers are persecuted, and whine about how they have awesome powers and no one understands them.

Yeah. That.

You know what? When they started using SHIELD in place of the X-Men in an attempt to put together Secret Warriors from the comics, I should have known they would go the same exact route as X-Men -- angsty "WAAAHHHH, I'm a monster" bullcrap.  I'm sorry, Mr. "I shoot lightning, but I just want to be a surgeon," get off your pansey ass, grab some spandex, and throw lightning at some bad guys. "Waaah, I'm a Monster?" yeah, well, so's the Incredible Hulk, and the movie Bruce Banner is a lot less whiney than you are.

And you know what? That wasn't the only problem.  The problem was the entire plot is being effected by this. The whiney is spreading.

The last episode pretty much put a nail in the coffin for me. We had two stories -- which, right now, have nothing to do with each other.  Nothing. At All.

One's a swaggering badass. The other is on Agents of SHIELD.
On the one hand, we have an Inhuman from the camp led by Skye / Daisy / Quake's mother last season.  He's an MD who shoots lightning out of his fingers.  Really. And we spent the entire plot thread following this sky, who spends most of the time brooding and on the run, and he doesn't do it half as well as Bill Bixby. And, of course, once "Daisy" tracks him down and starts making out with him...

Wait? What?

Friday, July 17, 2015

The Politics of the Damned

I think we should talk.

Yeah, that's never a good sign.

I generally don't do politics on my blog. Okay, I haven't until recently with the Sad Puppies (click tab above for more details), but this week, I need to cover something. And it shouldn't offend you, because if it would, I'm reasonably certain you wouldn't even be reading this blog. You'll see in a minute.

But I have to ask. When did life become an evil? Don't leave just yet, because this has actually become a thing, and I'm seeing it more and more as time goes on. Life is not worth living and people are not worth allowing to live.  I'm not talking about a John Ringo novel where the stupid are eaten / blown up / killed in various horrific ways. No, that's a straight up Darwin Award.  I'm talking about a general contempt for life and living human beings.

Don't believe me? In 1998, there was a book called Rainbow Six. I'm going to spoil the book and the video game based off of it because it's 17 years old now, if you haven't read it yet, what are you waiting for? The bad guys in that novel were eco-terrorists who figured that the world would be just fine without human beings, and if the terrorists were the only human beings left alive to inherit the Earth, then the Earth would be just perfectly fine.

Our heroes couldn't arrest these sickos, so they invaded, took them outside of their modern compound in the midst of the rainforest, stripped them all naked, blew up the compound and said "Fine. You wanted nature. You got nature. The nearest town is a week thataway. Good luck."

Fast forward to 2013, and He That Shall Not Be Named wrote a book called Inferno that Dante would be offended by. The good ending for the novel was that 1/3 of the planet had been sterilized, and, "Oh well, the bad guys have a point. There really are too many people on the planet."

Uh huh. Yeah. You read that right. The bad guy was right. It would be too much trouble to fix it, and there are too many people anyway, so screw all of them.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Fall television is here -- already

NOTE: I WILL HAVE MY OWN RADIO SHOW, THE CATHOLIC GEEK, STARTING JUNE 7TH.



Fall television is here ... in fact, SPRING television is here. 2016 already has trailers.

First up .... Lucifer?


Yes, you saw that correctly, this is a real thing. Lucifer is bored with running Hell, so he moved to LA. How he can tell the difference is beyond me.

Anyway, Lucifer is also fed up with vice directly affecting those around him, so he's going to help the LAPD.

I'm not sure if this is inspired or a train wreck in the making. The side of my that likes bright shiny things is going "How many in-jokes and references to Dante can they make?" The side of me that has a degree in Catholic philosophy is going "My brain hurts, precious."

Apparently, this is based off of a comic book. Which just goes to show that comics are even stranger than you ever thought they might be.

However, two things. 1) I have no problem with him being vaguely British. 2) Why is Sympathy for the Devil not playing over this trailer?

Blindspot


First of all, if the actress looks familiar, picture her with long hair. With battle armor.  And a Valkyrie.  Yes, this is lady Sif from the Marvel movie universe, Jamie Alexander. I guess somebody saw her on Agents of SHIELD and said "She looks good on tv .... and she stole the episodes. We can forgive the petty larceny."

However, someone covered in tattoos, each of them telling a story. There's a part of my brain that's saying "Wasn't this The Illustrated Man by Ray Bradbury?"

While I find the premise intriguing enough to give it a go, my gut reaction is "This is going to go the route of Lost, isn't it?"

Then there's The Player.


My first thought is "Wasn't this a satiric Tim Robbins movie about a Hollywood producer?"

My second thought is "Why is Wesley Snipes employed on television? Did the IRS really nail him for that much?"

Theoretically? This could be fun.

Realistically? I'll see what it's opposite of before I invest.

Also .... more pre-crime stuff? Curse you, Person of Interest, for starting everyone on this again!

Speaking of pre-crime.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Marvel After Age of Ultron

UPDATE 2: Every time I look around, there are more characters.

UPDATED: The Cast of Civil War has been confirmed and tweaked accordingly.

So, what's next?

Yes, we've got the upcoming movie list, but what can we expect to see, given what's come out thus far?  Obviously, there will be SPOILERS from Age of Ultron, so if you're like one of three people who haven't seen it yet, this blog post is NOT FOR YOU.

THE RETURN OF DOCTOR ZOLA

Yeah, remember him from The Winter Soldier?  When last seen, the former Swiss Hydra scientist was stuck in a 1970s supercomputer.

In the comic books, Arnim Zola was in his own mechanical body, usually appearing in a giant television screen. If only there was a way to put electronic brain patterns into a robot body....

Oh, wait.


I think that some of the Marvel movie people might be able to fit that in.  Somehow.  Just a guess.

For those people who have said that Zola was blown up in The Winter Soldier ... you're new to comic books, aren't you?

CIVIL WAR IS COMING

For those of you who have read my disasters to Marvel at, you know that the Captain America: Civil War storyline and the movie will have little to nothing to do with each other. There aren't nearly enough heroes to pull that off.

In a post-SHIELD and post Age of Ultron universe, superheroes aren't going to be the most popular people in the world.  Thanks Tony, for pissing off the planet.  Hulk trashed Wakanda, so he's not too popular either.  It shouldn't be too hard for the "World Council" (who gave SHIELD orders to nuke Manhattan in Avengers, and seemingly wiped out in Winter Soldier) to convince world governments to pass something against superheroes.

HOWEVER....

It is far, far more likely that the majority of the "Civil War" elements will be between Captain America and Tony Stark.  Why?  Because it was implied in The Winter Soldier that Hydra killed Tony's father. Who, exactly, was doing all of Hydra's wetwork at that point?


Oh, yeah.  Captain America's good and dear brainwashed friend, Bucky, the Winter Soldier.