Top ten blogs of all time (2020)

Once upon a time, I used to do this every hundred posts or so. But last year, I was busy with the books, and remembering to do a mailing list when I  could, and self-publishing novels. 

These are the most popular blogs of all time. I can't even tell you how most people found them. But people have liked them. A lot. 

And if you're new here, this will give you a sample of what it's like to be here on a regular basis.

Here we go.



10) The Story of Moira Greyland continues

If you don't know who Moira Greyland is, you will soon. All this blog post was about was simply a discussion of Moira's largely biographical work The Last Closet -- I say largely because she bounces from her life to various and sundry issues behind and around her life.

9) Building Catholic Vampire Lore (Honor At Stake)

This was basically how I built my vampire universe for the Love at First Bite series. Elements I've stolen from philosophy, theology, a Star Wars video game called Knights of the Old Republic. There was a lot of miscellaneous theft going on that tied together in a nice neat little deranged bow.

8) Newsflash: Hugo Awards Swamped by Crap

The 2017 Hugo Awards were about as bad as you'd expect. I think that was the last time I paid them even a modicum of attention.

7) A Short Biography of a Catholic Vampire

Another Love at First Bite post. As a historian, I do so enjoy the hidden world genre. It gives me an excuse to get creative with history -- all of the fun of alternate history, without having to write a full butterfly effect of what happens next.

6) Sex, DC Comics, and ... wtf?

2011 is when DC Comics unveiled their New 52 lineup of comic books ... and stopping just short of an R-rating,. with bad character design, bad artwork, and bad choices.

5) Sad Puppies Bite Back

The fever dream that started it all. 

Take a fracas going on in fandom, a rash of SWATting happening in the real world, and throw it in for mental processing when someone can't sleep at two in the morning.

4) Who would Captain America vote for? An election special

I posted a few days before Election 2012. So I can guess why this made it so high.


3) Disasters to Marvel At: A Comic Discussion.

This was the day I got fed up with Marvel comics going to pot. It had less to politics at the time and more to do with really terrible decisions by the writers. This included all of Civil War and One more Day.

2) A Review of Death Note (Anime)
This is exactly what it says in the title. 

This one also came out of no where. Posted in 2017, it only picked up steam last year. Every day between April and July, it maintained hundreds of hits PER DAY. There was no particular place it came from or reasons for it. It just was.

1) Politics Kills Mercedes Grabowski (August Ames)

This is the story of a woman in pornography, bullied to death by leftist douche bags of Twitter. And it pissed me off because she was only 23.

I can guess how this made the #1 spot. I mentioned porn. Apparently, it's popular, even when people are reading about non-sexual content. Who knew?

Anyway. I hope you find them enjoyable. 

You can check out any and all of my latest books here. 

If you like, you can sign up for my mailing list here. 

Politics Kills Mercedes Grabowski (August Ames)

Let me tell you about a girl. She was born Mercedes Grabowski. When she was 17 (maybe 18) in Canada, she tended bar to make ends meet. She also liked liked Justin Bieber, a comedian named Daryn Jones, and followed MTV Canada. There's no accounting for taste when you're a teenager, so there will be no jokes about Bieber or MTV.

As you can see from her photo on the right -- taken from her long-abandoned Twitter account of 2011, @MercedesGskiii-- she was a pretty girl, even underneath the photo filter.

Her career would be unconventional, to say the least.

In 2013, she entered the world of "adult entertainment."

IE: Porn.

Mercedes worked under the professional name of August Ames. Now I can't say that I'd be a particular fan of hers, were I a connoisseur of the genre. She seems a little augmented to me in many of her photos (see below pic). But, as you can see, left, she's a pretty girl.  She has pretty eyes and a nice smile.

Earlier this month, she declined a scene with a male actor who had done male-on -male porn. I'm specific about it because I cannot merely say say "gay porn"--Miss Grabowski has been with girls during her 4 year career, so calling her homophobic is insane.

Like I said, a bit augmented -- the lips.
Again, pretty eyes.

Earlier this week, she pointed out on Twitter that her issue in starring with a man who's done other men was a simple health concern. Apparently, (her argument went) unlike the heterosexual porn market, the male-male scene does not require blood screening, or heavily utilize condoms, so this has red flares going up all over the place as an STD warning. Growing up in a house of microbiologists, PAs, pathologists, and medical educators, I can't help but concur with her issues.

Miss Grabowski posted about this on Twitter at the start of the week.

SJW jerks lost their minds. How dare she not sleep with a bi man! How homophobic must she be! Again, this about a girl whose been with other girls, so they should check their privilege, namaste, yo, right?

But no, SJW trolls came up from under their bridges and tried to feast upon her soul. Even other members of her profession decided to virtue signal their little hearts out in an attempt to shame her into compliance.

Three days later, on December 6th, Mercedes Grabowski, aka August Ames, hanged herself.

She was 23 years old....

...One more time.

She was 23 YEARS OLD. And she gets driven to suicide by a bunch of mealy mouthed sons of bitches on the internet because she wouldn't sleep with who she was told?  Funny, ain't leftists supposed to be the party of "it's my body, nobody tells me what to do with it"? But oh no, refuse to sleep with a guy of the approved victim group, and they break out the torches and pitchforks. Gee, isn't the pro-porn argument that these are consenting adults who can sleep with who they like? Isn't the difference between porn and sex slavery HAVING A CHOICE IN THE MATTER? Isn't that the choice between porn and RAPE?

But it's Liberal Leftist jerks, they're "pro-choice," but make only the choices that they like, or to Hell with you. Literally.

I'm sorry, this pisses me off more than I can intellectually grasp. I don't think I could have picked her out of a line up if I passed her on the street, and I had to look up the details about her life so I could write this blog post. I knew nothing about her when I heard about her death, and this still makes me angry.

She was 23 years old, damn it.

She was a kid.

She was entering Kindergarten when I was entering college. Even if you don't approve of her profession, that's THE PROFESSION. Personally, I don't approve of the job. But I don't like the job of "politician" either. There's usually a good reason for people doing what they do. Miss Grabowski suffered from depression, according to her friends. For all I know, her career was self-medication. I neither know or care. It was her decision. Heck, I can think more than a few of her coworkers who retire, raise families, have careers, get degrees, and have a real life after porn.

But no, all those options are gone because SJW schmucks decided to pick on someone with her own mental health issues. Great. Just great. Hope they're proud of themselves.

She was a kid who was was maliciously hounded to death by creatures of the night who decided that her rights ended when they conflicted with the ideals of the shallow beasts who call themselves "Liberals," but wouldn't know anything about Liberty if it bit them on the ass.

Hell, I have seen more kindness and understanding and sympathy for this poor dead girl from her fans and some of her coworkers on Twitter than I have from the butthurt Leftists schmucks who drove her to it. In fact, I've seen some people online saying that they wished Miss Grabowski didn't kill herself because THEY HAD MORE TO EXPLAIN TO HER.

"I wish she didn't die, I could have talked down to her more."

What sort of inhuman monster does that?

And, of course, this was the same time period the #MeToo crowd was popular on the internet, and these same people Tweeting "#MeToo" .... were going to bully someone into sex she doesn't want to have. Nicely done, you leftist douche bags, you really are rape culture. Thumbs up, all the way.

Thankfully, those self-same asshats are busy crying "brutality" now that all of Miss Grabowski's fans know that she's dead, and who drove her to it. Fun fact: bullies don't like it when they get ganged up on and beaten like a drum. A gang-bang if you will.

I have friends who have stated that there will be criminal charges over this. Hopefully, there will be.

In his Inferno, Dante wrote that those people who drove people to despair were planted upside down, up to their ankles in in boiling excrement. This is why.

Surprisingly, Miss Grabowski was more forgiving than I would have been.

If you find being mean to people-bullying them, degrading their appearance or otherwise is okay- I am sincerely and commiseratively sorry for you. I hope you find your own personal peace🔺🔻🔺

— August Ames (@AugustAmesxxx) December 2, 2017

Pity she wasn't allowed to find any peace of her own.

6 Years. and 800 Blogs later, Still alive

When I started this blog five years ago, it was to drum up publicity for A Pius Man: A Holy Thriller, book one of what would become The Pius Trilogy

After a while, it was the only way to sell my books.

Then I went rogue from my agent, and did the entire Pius trilogy myself. Books two and three came out in 2014.

Now, six years since we have started, and 800 blog posts later, I guess we should be looking back and asking: what the hell are we still doing here?  Especially now that the Puppies have taken over the blog?

You'd think that this would be something obvious.  Look above, under the giant blog banner. You'd think I don't get much clearer than that.

But, when I posted one of my Sad Puppies Bite Back posts over in the comments of a blog called File 770, I was met with some ... interesting replies in the comments. Including derision, people who thought that SPBB was about threatening the anti-Puppies, and people who wondered what the site was even about.

And people wonder why I don't read comments on most websites. The term "cesspool of stupid" comes to mind. Who allows these people out in public? There should be a license to be on the internet some days.

Not that I'm cynical or anything.

But, it did occur to me that there would be some people confused about what this site's common thread was, considering we've veered so wildly from the original point of glorified marketing.

So, what's it all about?

It's about stories. How do you create them? How do you shape them?  How do you assemble dreams when the world is so busy trying to stomp on them and take them away from you? That's why I dissect political opinions of Superheroes, or examine bad comic book storylines, or try to predict where things are going.  That's why I look at faith in fiction, to see just how much of the writer goes into the story, and how much should go into the story.  This blog will also address the Catholic faith in particular because, well, I'm Catholic -- it's part of me, and who I am, and part of my stories, so it comes with the package.

But, as fiction is not just about how a story is made, but also about the process of selling it. That's why I look at women in fiction, or the politics of publishing, etc.

Also ... it's about marketing. I'm not dead yet and I'm still writing and publishing books. I have a publisher now, and I'm not afraid to use them.

(Honor At Stake, now #2 suggestion for best novel for Sad Puppies 4 -- subtle plug, subtle plug).

That's why I allowed my brain to be taken over by a parody universe that won't leave me alone. I mean, it's not like I can make money on Sad Puppies Bite Back yet, despite how popular it is.

Okay, I may not be able to make money on it at this point. May. Not.  Why not?  Because I use the real names of real people, like George RR Martin, and Scalzi, and the Haydens, David Gerrold, Moshe Feder, and additional psychos.

Yes, they're parody -- and boy, are these guys a parody -- but there are also lawyers, and you don't need to have a leg to stand on to file a lawsuit. And while I would probably win any lawsuit, and any countersuit, the legal fees would probably kill me before we got to the countersuit phase.

However, there might be a few ways in order to rub the serial numbers off of this. Only if I scrub really, really hard. If you've looked at Set to Kill, you probably have a good idea of what I can do for Sad Puppies Bite Back, if I work at it.

And, of course, now that Sad Puppies Bite back is up for two different Hugo awards? I should at least consider publishing it.

If it gets a Hugo Nomination? It's more than likely I will publish it. Why? Because it would be a Hugo nominated work, and I don't think anyone would want to draw attention to the fact that they are so thin-skinned, they can't take a joke.

But, one disaster at a time, folks. One disaster at a time.

However, even if I can't sell it, Sad Puppies Bite Back has brought hundreds of people to my blog, and has improved my sales a lot. It won't get me into the big money territory, but it's a lot more than I've been getting.

It's also gotten me some interesting friends along the way, which is an improvement for an introvert like me.

So, to the trolls who lurk under the bridge at File 770, that's what the blog is about.

As for all you newcomers who want a laugh, or want a book recommendation, or some music to listen to as you pen your destruction of an alien civilization, or comic book trivia, or just want to look into the brain of a deeply deranged writer, welcome, my friends, to The Pius Geek.

The party is just warming up.

Because of this mischegas that is my life, I've made some great friends, like Sarah Hoyt,  Ann Margaret Lewis, Karina Fabian, Daniella Bova, Daria Anne DiGiovanni, Margot St. Aubin, Dawn Witzke, and Matt Bowman, the Novel Ninja.

I've read some awesome books, like Amy Lynn, Ordinance 93, The Watson Chronicles, the Book of Helen, Stealing Jenny, and a whole slough of others. Slew? Slough? Oh, you get the idea.

Kia

And these people.  Wow.

Heck, due to Kia Heavey, I have a new model for Manana Shushurin, now that the previous model is far, far too respectable to be associated with the likes of me.  She was before, but I guess she finally figured that out. :)  Kia is an author, and I recommend her books. Heck, I have.

Ann and Karina have been responsible for dragging me into the Catholic Writer's Guild. And if they weren't (it's been so long, they may not have), they're a large chunk of the reason I've stayed.

There's the CLFA, and that's also a long story.

Margot was largely responsible for the gun shop visit of 2014, and accompanied me to the first Catholic Writers Guild conference that I was a guest at.

I've lost some good friends.  One of my first beta readers for A Pius Man died before it was published. The first artist for the site, with whom I was acquaintances since college, and I drifted apart.

This blog caught me one of my best friends, author Rebekah Hendershot, and we managed to burn that bridge, with each other still on it. Heck, we burned that bridge so thoroughly, I think I've completely edited her out of the history of the website, with perhaps one exception.

Yeah. When things go badly, they go badly.

This blog has gotten me some of the best things in my life, and has taken away a few.  It's been a bumpy ride, almost from day one.

Along the way, I've shared with you how I invest myself in my work, dissected my life to show you how it enters my writing, given you the story of everything that has been important in my life. You folks know when I'm single, when I'm hurting, and when I'm going to lose myself in video games.

Mandy

I've shared my wonder at emerging technology, my irritation at politics and the comic book industry, my love of reading and even the music du jour.

I'd like to thank you all for putting up with me that long. I never thought I was that interesting.  This blog has lasted has still longer than some relationships I've had.

And now, I have an almost constant readership of over 4000 people a month, give or take a few hundred.

Now if only you would all buy The Pius Trilogy, Honor at Stake and Codename Winterborn....

Yes, I'm joking.  But you can't blame a guy for trying, can you? :)

Looking back on some of the strangeness, these are the all-time top blogs ever read on this site as of this minute.

1) Who would Captain America vote for? An election special:
This one is still on top. Odd though, huh?  Written back for the Presidential election of 2012, I was fed up with politics, and thought it much more amusing to speculate on what comic book characters would vote for who. I still like it better than most modern politics.  The hits on this one used to equal an entire month of viewership on the blog....

But then #2 happened.

2) Sad Puppies Bite Back.
The first journey down the rabbit hole. Yes. It was a one-shot that spiraled so far out of control, I really don't see the end of it. But people are still coming to the blog just to read them.  I'd publish these, but I'd really like to avoid being sued by David Gerrold or John Scalzi, or any of the other Puppy Kickers.

This is where it started, with Larry and Brad and Sarah.  And from what I've found? All of them I've SWATted found it funny.  Who knew?

3) Sex, DC Comics, and ... wtf?
Yup, it's still here. Right after the dawn of DC's New 52 Universes in 2011, the comics had gone into a sideways spiral of strange. I think this had something to do with sex being in the title.

4) This one is also still here.  Waaaay back in 2010, I ripped apart all of the Disasters to Marvel At: A Comic Discussion, with every stupid decision that Marvel comics had made for the previous 5 years.  Sadly, some of those decisions are still going strong.

5) Sad Puppies Bite Back (Part two)
This is where things start going really odd. And I probably should have seen it coming that things were going to really go sideways ... "sideways" as in "The Puppies have taken over my blog."  I think part one got suggestions of nominating this for a "Best related" award from the Hugos.

6) Cry Havoc! And Let Slip the Puppies of War!
This was after the Entertainment Weekly's libelous article about Sad Puppies, written and published without talking to anyone within Sad Puppies. At all. Yes, really.  Believe it or not, in retrospect, this was not what got me really into the Sad Puppies bandwagon. That was when someone decided to go after Brad Torgersen's wife. Then, then I had a meltdown, and decided someone needed a stern talking to.

7) Puppies Come to WorldCon  (SPBB III)
This was going to be The End. Period. Dot. Final. The last straw. The Puppies were going to come to the Hugos, and it would have to end there. Why? Because there would be nothing left for me to write until the Hugos came out. It was a perfect out, right? Right?

8) Snarky Theology 4: "Things that go boink in the night."
Yeah, this one is still here.  From the Easter of 2011, it's still on the top ten list. I can't get rid of the damn thing. I had tried to play nice and explain my faith, and tenets of Catholicism to the average person.  That ended in disaster and a flame war, and a few other things going wrong along the way.

But, once again, Sex scores well on the site.

This is still freaking strange for a blog all about Catholic thrillers.

9) Sad Puppies Bite Back XI: Puppies with Teeth

Yeah ... I'm not sure what part brings people to this chapter of SPBB than any of the others. Is it SWATting Jim Butcher or Peter Grant? Shadowdancer? Having a final reckoning with Andrew Marston?

Yeah. I have no idea.

10) And a surprising newcomer, a post I only published about three weeks ago: #SadPuppies ask -- who's rabid? It was a brief look at some of the psychosis among Puppy Kickers ... maybe Puppy Kickers adjacent ... and John C. Wright, Vox Day, and File 770 linked to it.

This is going to be an interesting year.

April is the busiest month [in review]: killer puppies, Daredevil, and more.

Yikes, a lot happened this month.

The Political Cliche's in writing, in which I bitched about the various and sundry mistakes and forced crap shoved into the faces of your standard television watcher.  It was a follow up to the one about Christians.

This was before the attack of the puppies.

The month of Daredevil, from the trailers to the series itself.

Then, of course, we had the Puppies of April. First we let slip the Puppies of War, then we watched the backlash go insane.  Then again, the Puppies are responsible for my FANifesto. Sort of.

Then there was the week of the trailers -- Batman v. Superman, Ant-Man, Star Wars, and the post script for my Daredevil review.

Then I had my analysis of porn ... yeah, that was odd.  Then again, that came after my Rape article, as well as my sword video.

And of course, there was my update -- my book is about to be published.

Then, of course, there was the epic return of Lindsey Stirling to the blog.

8 blogs, 3 weeks, and we're not even counting the six music posts.

I seriously don't know how Larry Correia does the 1000-word articles every single day.  Yikes.

Pornstars are People Too

It's occurred to me that this blog has had a sudden uptick of porn lately.

This is sort of odd for a Conservative-ish Catholic who writes novels about Vatican ninjas and hates sex scenes in mainstream fiction.  Had you told me I'd be talking about porn on my blog when I started it, I would have laughed in your face.

But, first we had retired actress Celine Tran, doing a nice sword fight video.  Then there was Sarah Garlits and the blog on rape.  It's starting to look a little strange. I can almost hear some people saying "Declan, is there something you want to share?"

Let me elaborate a little on my history with porn ... That sounds worse than it is. It's actually much stranger than that.

Before The Pius Trilogy ate up a quarter of my life, I had other projects I wanted to work on.  In fact, the one-volume A Pius Man was going to be the end of a series of books, with each of the characters appearing in other novels.  My series about the Secret Service Agent and the CIA assassin featured Father Frank Williams, the Pope, Giovanni Figlia, IRA leader Deaglan Lynch, the author Matthew Kovach, Scott Murphy, and mafia kneebreaker Jon Koenig, scattered in various and sundry parts throughout.  It's where the FBI computer hacker Blaine Lansing first appeared with Jennifer Lance.

It Was Only On Stun! was the first novel with Sean A.P. Ryan, and the first of a trilogy. If you've read the book (and I don't blame you if you haven't) I like dropping Sean into places where he is out of sorts and uncomfortable. The second book was supposed to feature protecting someone who was NOT Natalie Portman during her time at Harvard.

The third book was supposed to be Sean protecting a porn actress. Which would be hysterical.  He's not a prude, but he is really uncomfortable being around a naked woman he's not involved with. I figured it would be hilarious.

However, I knew nothing about porn.  But, having been to an all-male high school that shall not be named, I had heard the name Asia Carrera.  It was someplace to start.

Rape is Not Entertainment

[Do I even have to say "trigger warnings ahead"?]

I have some odd followers on Twitter.

I have members of the Catholic Writer's Guild who follow me, because I'm a Catholic writer.

I have conservatives and libertarians follow me, because I'm politically ... complicated.

 I've been re-tweeted by Larry Correia, lord of gun porn.

Sarah Garlits

And then there's Sarah Garlits, aka Sarah Blake. Who's more ... porn porn. Sort of.

For those of you who don't know Madam Garlits, yes, she is an adult entertainer. No, I don't mean porn actress ... she used to be, but now does burlesque variants. It's complicated.

And I'm getting off topic...

How we tripped over each other on Twitter, I don't recall. I don't know why she follows me, but I find her interesting. And if you're new here, for me, "interesting" is a compliment.

She is also a rape survivor.

Garlits maintains a blog for abuse survivors, and she's very, very well-adjusted, considering her back story. She documents her day-to-day recovery, researches the topic thoroughly, and it's always an interesting day when someone on the internet teaches me something.

Sword Saturday, with @Katsuni and Lucy

This has got some great dancing.  Quite elegant. The guy is the stunt man/ coordinator on films like Lucy. The woman is Celine Tran, who is a French actress who specialized in adult content under the name Katsuni ...

Yes, a fancy way of saying she was in porn (retired). I gotta tell you, with swordplay like this, I really don't care. This is some nifty dancing.  Why do I bring it up?  Because if I don't, someone else will in the comments. I just got here first. Now, just watch the video, it's awesome.

THIS! IS! 500!!!!! Thanks, and the top ten list

Cedar

This is the 500th post for this blog.

We've done a LOT since last time.

The Pius Trilogy has finally come to an end.  Each of the books, A Pius Man, A Pius Legacy, and A Pius Stand have all had great reviews, with only one prick who decided that I had kicked his puppy or something. Though if he really wants Sad Puppies, go here.  Cedar, Larry Correia and Sarah Hoyt can really make puppies cry. MUAHAHAHAHAHA

Margot

I'm sorry, where was I?  I was distracted by crying puppies.

Oh, yes, 500 posts.

I've been trying to sell these books since 2007, and I've been running this blog -- or vice versa -- since 2010.

Because of it, I've made some great friends, like Sarah Hoyt,  Ann Margaret Lewis, Karina Fabian, Daniella Bova, Daria Anne DiGiovanni, Margot St. Aubin, and Matt Bowman, the Novel Ninja.

I've read some awesome books, like Amy Lynn, Ordinance 93, The Watson Chronicles, the Book of Helen, Stealing Jenny, and a whole slough of others. Slew? Slough? Oh, you get the idea.

Kia

And these people.  Wow.

Heck, due to Kia Heavey, I have a new model for Manana Shushurin, now that the previous model is far, far too respectable to be associated with the likes of me.  She was before, but I guess she finally figured that out. :)  Kia is an author, and I recommend her books. Heck, I have.

Ann and Karina have been responsible for dragging me into the Catholic Writer's Guild. And if they weren't (it's been so long, they may not have), they're a large chunk of the reason I stay.

There's the CLFA, and that's also a long story.

Margot was largely responsible for the gun shop visit of 2014, and accompanied me to the Catholic Writers Guild conference that I was a guest at.

I've lost some good friends.  One of my first beta readers for A Pius Man died before it was published. The first artist for the site, with whom I was acquaintances since college, and I drifted apart.

Snarky Theology 4: "Things that go boink in the night." Catholicism on Sex and Gays

This one may have slightly less snark.  We'll see how it turns out.

I hear from a lot of people that the Catholic Church is obsessed with sex.  I usually hear this from people who aren't Catholic, or Catholics who haven't been to church since they left their parents' basement.  I've been going to church every Sunday for about 20 years.  That's approximately a 1300 masses, with holy days ... and I'm adding this note at 2:30 in the morning, so don't nitpick my math ....

In all 1300 masses, I don't think I've never heard the priest talk about sex unless there was a reading that involved adultery, or someone begetting someone else.

This month, I turn 29. I believe I am one of the few male beings on the planet, and maybe the only person in New York City, who is deliberately a virgin.

I put special emphasis on deliberately, since being one involuntarily is not really that impressive for a nerd of my caliber. I've been given the option, and I have expressly said no.  I don't think this is a gloating matter, and I don't mean it to be "Haha, I'm more virtuous than you," I mean it more in the context of "Whew, I dodged a bullet."

My reasons for avoiding sex are numerous. For starters, I'm not married.  I have personal reasons (I've met too many people where sex has taken normal people with slight personality quirks, and turned them into full-on neurotic messes). I have practical reasons (my parents are both in the medical field, and I ask far too many questions when I'm at a microbiology conference--did you know that there are 25 difference STDs, 50 with varying mutations, and that condoms have an 85% failure rate against pregnancies, and viruses are many, many times smaller than a sperm cell? Oy!)

Also: I've got this strange notion from my philosophy and my faith that has said that, “Sex should be the perfect union of two people, so that they are linked biologically, psychosomatically, psychologically, and spiritually, making them one.  You don't do that with just anybody.”

Hey, I warned you I was a romantic sap. You should expect some of this tripe every so often.

But this is just me. What about the Church of Rome?

Oh, yeah, apologetics.

My last, "philosophical / religion" position, is the same position of the Catholic Church, which isn't half as obsessed with sex as the average American. To expand on that original premise, sex should be such a perfect union, only undertaken by two people in a committed relationship. And, sex should also fulfill all of its natural functions.  I briefly covered this topic before.

Thus, the Roman Catholic Church is the only one where sex is a sacrament.... Something blessed by Christ that gives god’s grace

Yes, you read that right. You get married, you are supposed to have sex. Children should be an end result, but timing is everything, isn't it? There are usually enough signs and portents in the average hormone cycle that self control is the best method of birth control available.

For the record: sterility doesn't really enter into the equation. The married couple having sex is doing everything right, it's just a matter of equipment failure.

And now you know everything about the Church's, um, position on sex … Tab A goes into Slot B.  The Church doesn't care where else it stops on the way, it doesn't care if whips, chains, exhibitionism, or anything else is involved, as long as the end result adds up to Tab A in Slot B.  It doesn't matter how it starts, it matters where you finish. 

And, personally, not only do I not care, I don't want to know.

In sum: sex that has no possibility of procreation is considered a deliberate violation of the natural order of things, and hence considered a sin.  Save sex for marriage, and after that, knock yourself out.  Have fun. Thank you, the end, goodbye ....

What? You mean I missed something?

Philosophy, Religion, and Sex.

Dear Pope Benedict, I've been a fan of your career since you worked under John Paul II.  The press hated you because you were hostile to them, and for that I applaud you.  But you have to stop having statements come out so close together, it messes up my schedule.

Last week, I explained why the Catholic Church wanted to hire exorcists.

This week, because no one in the Vatican can shut up, I'm going to try explaining something else that was recently in the news.

The New York Times recently reported that, "Yippie, the Pope is giving in and endorsing condom use."

The old gray hag of The New York Times has, once again, gotten it wrong.  One day, they may actually try to get a theologian to explain theology to them.  Unfortunately, given most theologians, that may not help much.

Let's start at the beginning: Why does the Catholic Church have an issue with condom use?  Or any contraceptives?

It basically involves philosophy ... bare with me a minute, I'll keep it short and comprehensible ... and what is the function of "a thing."  In the case of sex, the mechanism of sex is "insert tab A into slot B."  The "function" of sex is procreation, and a darn good time, if you're doing it correctly.

Contraceptions mess with the natural function of sex by removing elements that are inherent to the act -- procreation comes with sex.  The Vatican position is, that if you mess around with it and start taking out elements, then you are messing around with things that are not yours to mess with.

If you are pondering what the Catholic church's advice is on STD prevention when you have sex with your boy/girlfriend, the Church's position is that you should be having sex with your spouse, only with your spouse, have a nice day, thank you.  Under this rubrick, STDs are not a problem, since if you only ever insert one tab A into one tab B, STDs are not an issue; pregnancy remains in effect, but in the Catholic church, marriage is a contract to have sex, have kids, and spread the spawn around the globe, carrying the faith with it.

You are currently up on previously held positions.


The NY Times said, on November 21st .....

“Pope Benedict XVI has said that condom use can be justified in some cases to help stop the spread of AIDS . . . .”

However, George Wiegel, papal biographer and general Vatican busybody, corrected the Times report.  You can find the full text online, but since that will take forever for you to read, I'm going to translate it for you, gentle reader, into something easily comprehensible.

The pope's actual statement, in context, was during an interview.  The pope mentioned how the Catholic Church runs more AIDS hospitals, and stresses "prevention, education, help, counsel, and accompaniment."  IE: The pope pointed out that, unlike pontificating reporters, the Church actually does something,

The pope even stressed that "we cannot solve the problem [of AIDS] by distributing condoms. Much more needs to be done. We must stand close to the people, we must guide and help them; and we must do this both before and after they contract the disease."

The pope continued:

.... people can get condoms when they want them anyway. But this just goes to show that condoms alone do not resolve the question itself. More needs to happen. Meanwhile, the secular realm itself has developed the so-called ABC Theory: Abstinence–Be Faithful–Condom, where the condom is understood only as a last resort, when the other two points fail to work. This means that the sheer fixation on the condom implies a banalization of sexuality .... the attitude of no longer seeing sexuality as the expression of love, but only a sort of drug that people administer to themselves. This is why the fight against the banalization of sexuality is also a part of the struggle to ensure that sexuality is treated as a positive value and to enable it to have a positive effect on the whole of man’s being.

Short version: sex is important, has an effect on a person, and is also for the purpose of expressing love.  Throw in a condom, and you just make it another way to drug yourself into a stupor.

The part where the NYTimes gets confused is probably in the following section:

There may be a basis in the case of some individuals, as perhaps when a male prostitute uses a condom, where this can be a first step in the direction of a moralization, a first assumption of responsibility, on the way toward recovering an awareness that not everything is allowed and that one cannot do whatever one wants. But it is not really the way to deal with the evil of HIV infection. That can really lie only in a humanization of sexuality.

When asked if "the Catholic Church is actually not opposed in principle to the use of condoms?"  Pope Benedict XVI answered that "She of course does not regard it as a real or moral solution, but, in this or that case, there can be nonetheless, in the intention of reducing the risk of infection, a first step in a movement toward a different way, a more human way, of living sexuality."

Short version: If it's someone infected with AIDS, yes, the Church would rather that they NOT KILL PEOPLE by infecting them further.

Basically, it's like robbing a bank -- if you rob a bank, the Church would rather have someone use an empty gun; it'll lessen the risk of someone getting their head blown off.

So, despite news reports, the Catholic Church's position hasn't changed.

With luck, we can all move on to something important now.

Sex Scenes, Novels, and A Pius Man

[PG-13/ R. And, for the record, this is a completely amoral blog post—preaching morals gives me a headache and upsets my ulcer.]

1. Sex. What is it good for?

Were this a song parody, the next line would be “absolutely nothing.” But, given that I've had bad experiences with song parodies, I will forgo that.

But, seriously, sex... why bother?  In the context of literature, almost any novel with a sex scene in it has been, in my opinion, a horrid waste of time, energy, and irritates, at least, this reader.

A Pius Man has no sex scenes. Why? Because I find them boring.

I am not certain how much of this is my own personal opinion and how much of it is a critique of how sex scenes tend to be inflicted on the reader.

One of my major problems is the OSS, or the Obligatory Sex Scene.

In the Douglas Preston/Lincoln Child novel Mount Dragon, our protagonists, after having found shelter and water in the middle of the desert, after nearly dying from thirst, while on the run from a nutcase with a gun.... are so happy they start having sex...

Huh? What the Hell?

The OSS I just mentioned is quick. If it's longer than half a page, I'd be surprised. But it was just dropped into the middle of the book, and was so jarring it broke the pace. It had been a nice, solid thriller, our heroes on the run from a psychotic killer with a rifle, and then.... they're stopping to have sex? Really?

Looking at it objectively, what is the point of an OSS?

“Physical intimacy shows the the relationship involved has gone to another level and has thus impacted the characters.”  Perfectly true, but does that necessitate a five page sex scene? Or even a page? If one wanted to tell the reader that, yes, two people slept together, I can do that right now: “X and Y fell into bed, kissing passionately as they stripped each other's clothes. They then turned off the lights and hoped they wouldn't wake the neighbors.”

Done. Two lines and a bit of smart ass can carry something a long way.

“Things can happen during the scene that are relevant to the rest of the novel.” True, but rarely does it necessitate going into intimate details. In fact, I would suggest that anything interesting that happened could be covered in the next chapter. “On reflection, s/he noticed something odd while lying on his/her back. S/he didn't really notice it at the time, but now that it's quiet.....”

Done.

Exceptions can be made to this rule, obviously. If the couple rolls off of the bed as someone walks into the room, be it with room service or with a gun, then that is a useful detail.

There are moments when character can be served, strangely enough. I've seen sex scenes done well. I don't mean the sex scene in the novel Darkly Dreaming Dexter, where he dwells on a nice neat serial killer, his girlfriend comes in, starts kissing and disrobing him, and the next line is, literally, “How did that happen?” I mean a sex scene, rating R to NC-17.

John Ringo's “Paladin of Shadows” series (Ghost, Kildar, etc), has sex scenes and nudity. However, the point of the hero, nicknamed Ghost, is that he is not a “nice guy;” he hangs out in strip clubs, and some of his contacts are strippers... it's rather amusing reading a scene where a stripper is informing him of pertinent information during the course of her duties.

The sex scenes themselves are surprisingly thought out. The first novel, Ghost, is a series of vignettes. The second vignette is described as "two-thirds bondage porn and deep sea fishing, and who knows which is worse" (I'm paraphrasing there). Before the sex scenes take up whole chapters, the character Ghost has a discussion with the two young ladies he's dealing with... and their parents. The conversation that follows is one part dissertation on bondage subcultures, and five parts comedy routine.

After that, you can skip read, unless you really want to learn more about leather goods than you ever really wanted to.

So, here we have someone who makes sex funny without it being gaudy. In fact, the amount of thought put into his later sex scenes shows a lot of character, intelligence, and humor.

Even then, are they necessary? Surprisingly enough, some are, and two are crucial to the stories they show up in. Almost all of them impact the characters in some way. And almost all of these scenes can be entertaining for reasons that are anything but sexual.

Why Ghost does what he does (and I don't mean sexual maneuvers or positions) tells the reader more about the character than a hundred pages of sex scenes from any given novelist....

Laurell K. Hamilton, I'm looking at you.

Laurell K. Hamilton created a novel series about Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter. It was a nice, solid series, set in St. Louis, with a well-constructed, detailed world, where vampires were public figures, werewolves are treated like HIV cases in the 80s, crosses work against vampires, and demons aren't the actor in a suit you see on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

For nine novels, the series went well. There was sexuality here and there (a major character was a French vampire, after all), but it never really got in the way of the story. By book seven and eight, the main character was sleeping with both a vampire and a werewolf, but the OSS's were few and far between, and they were easily skipped by turning a page. Quite painless, overall.

After book #9, Obsidian Butterfly, I was warned off several novels because they opened with a hundred pages of vampire rituals of who gets to have sex with who. I went back for book #15, because it featured the return of Hamilton's best, scariest character: a mild mannered, white-bread fellow named Edward, a mercenary who started hunting vampires because humans were too easy.

However, I had to skip a hundred and fifty pages of the novel. It was one, long and drawn out OSS. Not a menage a trois, but a bisexual sextet among Vampires and were-creatures. Much of the rest of the book had pages of Anita Blake defending her sex life. “The lady dost protest too much.”

When the author herself was asked about the overabundance of sex during a Barnes and Noble interview, Hamilton's best defense was that “I only get complaints from men. I had two reviewers tell me that they're disturbed that a woman is writing this sort of stuff. ”

Ahem...

Dear Madam. Hamilton: I get disturbed with John Ringo writing about a man and two coeds on a boat with bondage gear. For the love of all that's Holy, what makes you think that a bi-sexual sextet with were-furries would go over any better, no matter who or what you were?  So, you're going to defend yourself against criticism with some kind of strange faux-feminism based off of two reviewers?  How about "I want more plot than sex scene," are you going to blame that on me being male? Really? Really?

Again, I'll go back to John Ringo, only a different series -- the Council Wars.  One short story is seriously NC-17, and reading through it, I would be hard-pressed to see how it could be written otherwise. With Hamilton's novels, I could skip over a hundred pages and not miss a single plot point. That's screwed up.

Make it sextets with were-furries, they're even worse.