Showing posts with label zombie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label zombie. Show all posts

Monday, October 30, 2017

New Release: Lyonesse Volume 1

Those of you who might remember Silver Empire's Lyonesse short story service now have the ultimate sampler pack: Lyonesse, Volume 1, bringing you the best stories from the first run. It has psychics, time travel, gods, and sci-fi battle angels. We have a woman with the power to raise the dead. A man stranded on another world, fighting all alone for a lost cause. Zombies invading New York. Alien artifacts. Sci-Fi battle angels. Samurais fighting demons. Interplanetary detectives and lost unicorns.

Featuring the Dragon Award Finalists Kai Wai Cheah, L. Jagi Lamplighter ... and me, Declan Finn.

This collection, for the low low price of $2.99, includes the following 16 short stories:
  • Four Weddings and a Funeral by L. Jagi Lamplighter
  • The Dreaming Wounds by Anya Ow
  • The Dragon's Teeth by David Hallquist
  • Zombie Jamboree by Declan Finn
  • The Artifact by Dean Abbott
  • We Bury Our Own by Kai Wai Cheah
  • Number 43 by Jonathan Ward
  • The Last Winter by A.R. Aston
  • Shini Tai by C.L. Werner
  • The Case of the Unicorn by Nora M. Mulligan
  • The Harsh Mistress by Mike Murphy
  • St. Lucian's Star by Dawn Witzke
  • A Day Without the Horned Goddess by Kieran McKiel
  • In Another Life by Morgon Newquist
  • Moonset by S.D. McPhail
  • Mile High Murder by Declan Finn
Zombie Jamboree opens with
New York City’s first zombie on record walked onto the train platform at Queens Plaza at 6:43 in the morning. Nobody noticed the zombie for one reason: it was a fresh zombie, and thus indistinguishable from the rest of the commuters shambling onto the platform during rush hour.
Heh. Yeah. I had fun.  One review even noted, "I loved it, and I don't normally like zombie stories. A great read."

And Mile High Murder is the story of a murderer running around an airplane, stalking his prey. Very Alfred Hitchcock. 

I recommend Lyonesse Volume 1. Do try it.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Review: John Ringo's Black Tide Rising



If you haven't read John Ringo's awesome Black Tide series, you're missing out. It started as a trilogy, spun out into a quartet, then inspired an anthology....not that I would know anything about that. Heh.

The premise is simple: Imagine if The Walking Dead was reasonable, and the characters smart and likable. It started with a not Zombie plague, even though the airborne virus turns the majority of those infected into violent, mindless savages with a bad tendency to bite. Due to stupid squishy policies (like a ban on shooting to kill the "poor unfortunate souls who are merely sick" .... ow. I just rolled my eyes too hard), the infected are allowed to survive until they are so numerous, civilization collapses.

Of the original quartet, the heroes are the Smith family, a group of preppers who have a survival plan for everything. Their solution to zombies? Hit the water on a boat.  For those of you who insist that Fear the Walking Dead came up with that, Ringo did it first, and screw that show.  If you don't like that fact, tough.

Moving on.

This anthology, Black Tide Rising, is mostly a slice of life of the rest of the world during the Zombie Apocalypse, with authors from all over the place, including John Scalzi.

First, the good.

Never Been Kissed, by John Ringo. It's a three page short story, mostly just a setup for the rest of the anthology, and a reflection of the world that the survivors have left behind, and all of the missed opportunities. And all of the teenagers who have never been, and will never be, kissed. It gets four stars, doing an awful lot with very little.

Up on the Roof, by Eric Flint. This one was just plan fun, and takes many of the elements that people have liked from Ringo novels -- the details of how things get done. A family in Indiana have to figure out how to survive the infected, and the plague. Their solution? The nearby tank farms (tall structures with flat roofs, and minimal ways of access). It was fun, complete with all the questions of how to improvise a quarantine zone, a secure location, as wel as maintaining the sight lines for shooting incoming enemy. Five stars.

Staying Human, by Jodi Lynn Nye.  Making a vaccine for the plague has only one source: grinding up the spines of those are already infected. This follows the story of one hunter of the infected, who has her own agenda: she's out to get the infected who slaughtered her family. I'd give this one three stars.

Do No Harm, by Sarah A Hoyt. I've only read the occasional short story from Hoyt, mostly in the Chicks in Chain Mail series. But this one made me want to buy her collected works.  This was basically the Black Tide universe meets the tv show, The Night Shift (if you have not seen that show, go out and watch them. You won't be disappointed. That show is awesome). The setting on this one is a Texas hospital in the middle of the infected outbreak, and the shift must fight its way out through the former patients. This one was tightly written, fast paced, and it even had a proper appreciation and understanding of what a Physician Assistant is (you have no idea how much I like that). Five stars. Though it's also odd when there were people I know dying on the page -- last October's Radio show guest Jonna Hayden is one of our bite victims, among others. So that was fun.

Not in Vain, by Kacey Ezell.  This is the story that inspired the cover, cheerleaders with guns. The basic premise is that a cheer coach (former USAF) and her team have come back from a meet, and they're on their way to the nearest hospital to make some vaccine with a doctor friend of theirs. I think the gunshots stared on page 2 and the story didn't slow down until it stopped. In fact, the only problem I had with the story is that it stopped at all. I really would like the continuation of this plot thread in the next anthology. There will be a next anthology, right, Mr. Ringo?  Five stars. Make it six.

How do you solve a problem like Grandpa?, by Michael Z Williamson. This is every prepper saying "I told you so." We start with the younger generation worried about their grandfather becoming a hoarder -- he has stockpiled MREs, a few hundred guns, and the pile is growing. Then the plague hits. And grandpa has the last laugh. Four stars.

Best Laid Plains, by Jason Cordova, Eric S. Brown, This was the comedy portion of our show. Thieves are about to break into the Louvre during the outbreak, and have to go through a lot of infected to do it. Four stars.

The Meaning of Freedom, also by Ringo himself. The heroes of the original quartet make a discovery about the infected, and some possible uses for them. Then it enters into a moral quandary that is going to look grizzly. I think five stars, mostly on the grounds of how much thought went into this.

These are the good stories. In fact, the great stories. These are the stories I want the follow up to. There was a great execution, and a perfect presentation, making me care about people I only spend a few minutes with, and I want to know what happens next. I want to see them survive. Even if we're not making it a day to day, minute by minute followup. I just want to see what it looks like five years later. Maybe even one year later.

The less than good.

On The Wall, by John Scalzi and Dave Klecha.  How did this story get into this collection? This one wasn't merely phoned in, it was called collect. Standard writing tells you who, what, where, when, why, and how. This one barely has "who," Early Perry Mason novels were described as being transcripts, but this one barely even had identifiers on who's speaking at any one time. Where is it? When is it? No idea. We barely got a Who! Which means Doctor Seuss would have done better. This story wasn't even substandard, it was subpar. I've seen more effort put into books written by James Patterson. Who am I kidding? There are court transcripts that had more effort put into the writing of them than this. There was zero context -- seriously, I couldn't even tell that this was in Ringo's world unless it had been in the anthology. It was paint by numbers all the way, and it felt like a bad episode of F-Troop. And yet, somehow, it had to be written by two people? Seriously? Hell, I should have tried my hand at a story. No stars. In fact, negative five stars.

Battle of the BERTs by Mike Massa ... better than Scalzi's short story, but that is a bar set so low, you're more like to step on them and slip on it like marbles. BERTS are Biological Emergency Response Teams, who hunt down and capture zombies, in order to remove their spines and make vaccines from them. Unfortunately ... stop me if you've heard this one: a city during the apocalypse is being run / kept safe because of either big business or the local street gangs, who are themselves in conflict. If that sounds like RoboCop, or Escape From New York  (Or LA), or any other random dystopia, you'd be right. It even has the standard downer ending. It annoys me because it is filled with the despair that never really took hole in the series.  Black Tide was all about the hope of survival, by any means necessary (actually, no, it was all hope of civilization, not just survival).  This one actually made me feel cheated. It covered aspects of the world that I wanted to know about from book one that Ringo never followed up on ... and it failed to really follow through on it. This could have gone several different ways, and it chose the least daring, and most obvious, conclusion. Two stars.

The Road to Good Intentions, by Tedd Roberts -- I'm not entirely certain what to do with this one. I really don't.  I didn't really like it, but then, I'm sure I missed something, somewhere, because I'm not entirely certain about the ending. We have an engineer and his wife out in their little backwoods cabin when the outbreak hits, and he's linked up with the local community, with their local preacher, who's treating this like the genuine, religious apocalypse. I'm not certain if the punchline was the standard "atheist in a foxhole," or the creation of a new zealot, or what. Three stars, I think.

It's actually made more confusing by the next story.

200 miles to Nashville, Christopher Smith.  A prison transport carrying a hitman falls into the middle of a pocket of infected, and have to fight their way through them, as well as a religious cult insisting that they have the cure to the plague. It's disorienting, especially since it takes place in a similar neighborhood to the Roberts story. The Roberts story ends with a radio broadcast, this one opens with a radio broadcast, and if you blinked, you could almost swear that Smith's story is the continuation of the Roberts' story-- that our scientist has become an end times cult leader, and playing a game of Deliverance in the back woods.  It's a three star story, though I won't say it was the best of the bunch, it's nowhere near the worst.  In fact, I think I would like to follow these two characters in another story down the line. The characters were interesting, I'm just not entirely certain if I liked the story then were in. Heck, I'd say that this was a four-star story, I may just have been too tired at the time to fully appreciate it.

At the end of the day, this was, on the whole, a net positive. In fact, on the strength of the good stories alone, I think I'd give this an enthusiastic five stars.  Even with most of the not-as-good stories, on balance, it would be a slightly less enthused five stars. But Scalzi's tips the balance downward, to four stars.

However, don't take my word for it. I may have misread or been in the wrong frame of mind for the latter stories. Buy the book, read the book, because the good stories alone are well worth the price of admission.

Monday, June 13, 2016

#E32016, #UbiE3 and #PlaystationE3 Rule Day 1

So I covered Xbox's abysmal opening.  What about the rest of day 1?

Ghost Recon: Wildlands

You may not recall this from a while back, but it looks good, really.



And then some gameplay



They went into depth. They had details! Not just a CGI trailer!  We have plot: SpecOps taking out Bolivia and the drug dealers. And the graphics are almost exactly what the CGI trailer looks like. Yikes.

However, it's not showing off the multiple level approach to each level that was promised in early trailers, but other than that, I'll take it.

My problem? It's a four-player co-op demo.  So ... it looks like more Multiplayer. Argh.

And then, time to find some brave new worlds.



Yes, VR Star Trek.  With Levar Burton, Karl Urban, and Jeri Ryan. Yikes. Not bad for just a stae reveal.

And then, something from a while ago... For Honor



I saw this last year, I think. It's ... basically a hack and slash. But it looks shiny as heck.

And then there was ... this.



And for the love of God, they should tone down Watchdogs 2. It's coming off as way more pretentious than it has any right to be.

Granted, the world and the graphics look GORGEOUS, but then again, from a AAA game had better be at this point. And if they screw up this time, this is a dead franchise.

They've added parkour, but they're still apparently using a politician as a bad guy. Again? Why? Also, An evil social media network rigging an election?  Are we kidding? It feels like this theme is being driven into the ground.

We can hack vehicles this time.  Oh yay.  [I'm sorry, my eyes rolled so hard, they nearly fell out of my head.] I mean, seriously, "Screw the man! People are drones plugged into THE SYSTEM!!!! SCREW THE MAN!"
Hmm, wait, Anonymous and San Francisco. Really? Are we kidding? I thought San Francisco was the lefty capital of the universe, and they want to have us believe that the anti-Establishment hackers are the good guys? They basically ARE the establishment of San Francisco.

Honestly, I know that Ubisoft is run by the French, but this just takes the pretentiousness to a whole new level. "Oooh, a hip young black guy who comes with his own iPod mix. How trendy ... For the 1990s."

Sigh.


PLAYSTATION


DAYS GONE



Huh. Interesting. On the one hand, more zombies? On the other hand, the tone is different.

Then again, I halfway expected this to be a Walking Dead game. Again.

Then, to my great surprise, there was this.



A God of War game that looks interesting, and I don't even like the series. It seems that after Kratos, ghost of Sparta, is done with his vengeance, he tries to settle down and be a person. Good luck, dude.

Horizon Zero Dawn looks even BETTER than last time.





Detroit Become Human



How very blade runner. I don't know how you become human in Detroit, but I try to inquire too closely.

Batman Arkham VR



Yes, I know this is just an announcement, but it's worth it just to listen to Mark Hamill chews the scenery.

VR Star Wars X-Wing VR missions



Sadly, it'll probably suck, just like the last Battlefront did.

And finally, Farpoint 




No, don't worry, I don't know anything more than you do right now.

And finally, guess what film is coming up.

Sunday, February 7, 2016

The Catholic Geek: Superbowl Edition

The Catholic Geek: Superbowl Edition



Host Declan Finn once against tackles a broadcast all by himself by completely ignoring the Superbowl, but does stop to make fun of Liz Bourke of Tor, Marvel's tv shows, and deliver some news about Deadpool, the Hugos, and maybe even do a reading from his work. Again.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Dual Review: Neeta Lyffe, and I Left My Brains in San Francisco

Today will be a dual review.  Why? Because it's hard to review one book without reflecting on the other.

Yes, parts of this are cannibalized from an earlier review, but it's been a while.

You might remember that, a while back, I had been involved in a Catholic Writer's Guild online conference. I ran a workshop on fight scenes, and ran a discussion on creating a villain. During the course of that latter chat, I mentioned that it helped if the villain had the brain. Mindless, shambling zombies were not really that much fun, as villains go … Then I remembered that one of the people in the chat was Karina Fabian … who had written – surprise – a book about a Zombie Exterminator.

Now, if I had had my wits about me, I would have noted how, in zombie films, zombies are generally NOT the main bad guys. They set the scene, they act as cannon fodder (for an action franchise like Resident Evil, where the real villains are the Evil Corporation du jour), but most zombie movies are more about the people in the Zombie Apocalypse du jour rather than about the zombies. The zombies are window dressing.

Instead, my witless wonder moment had me hasten to add "Though I can't speak for every zombie storyline, I have yet to read Karina Fabian's." I think I inserted a smiley and went on from there.

Within two minutes, I heard an email click. I had just received an e-copy of Karina Fabian's Neeta Lyffe: Zombie Exterminator.

See, when I shoot from the lip, I have no idea what'll happen.

Neeta Lyffe: Zombie Exterminator, takes place in the 2040s, several decades after the zombie outbreaks started. There are no zombie apocalypses here.  It never happened. However, the undead can be annoying, so exterminators have to be called in -- exterminators with chainsaws.  Zombies are attracted to certain strong smells, and they don't like standard household cleaners.... don't ask.

Neeta Lyffe, a second-generation exterminator (motto: "I want to be buried like my mother, with my head cradled in my arms") is sued after an extermination call went into property damage. Now, in order to generate income, she's agreed to do the most terrifying thing in her life..... host a reality show.

Yes, you read that right. The reality show Zombie Death Extreme, where Neeta is stuck with a handful of exterminator wannabes, training them to re-kill the occasional nests of undead that threaten LA (then again, if parts of LA were turned into shambling mindless hordes, would anyone notice?). Also included: re-grief training ... for when you have to mourn for loved ones a second time, when they come back; and flash cards to tell the difference between a stroke victim, a drunk, and a zombie.  And you can probably guess, this has a sense of humor, unlike most zombie films ("We throw the grenades on the count of 3. 1, 2, 3."  Second person shouts "Five," and throws the grenade ... sorry, Monty Python joke.).

Karina, with chainsaw
The cast looks like it should be stocked with the standard cliches: an ex-marine, a farm boy with a stutter, an African-American woman from an urban environment, an Afghan emigre who's first language isn't English (he speaks it perfectly well, but the producers want him so speak more like Hasan from a Bugs Bunny Cartoon). The Producer of the show is the standard two-dimension cardboard cutout, which means he's drawn very accurately -- however, he's never had to negotiate with someone who carries a chainsaw on a daily basis, including the occasional brainstorming session for the show.

All of the characters are vivid and brightly drawn ... and heavily mocked, in some cases. Everything you have ever hated about reality television is skewered ruthlessly, and wonderfully.

Possibly one of the best parts of this book (and there are plenty to choose from), use the running excerpts from a documentary on the rise of zombies, detailing a somewhat funny look on the matter, down to and including Darwin Award winners who tried to play tag with a zombie. That was fun.

In short, it's one part satire, one part action, and all parts fun.

5/5 stars.  Best zombie book ever. Period.  Buy it now.

Friday, October 9, 2015

Guest Post: Entertainment or Importance?

So, Karina Fabian is back.

So are the Hugos.

BWHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA


Entertainment or Importance? 

The Hugos are over, the asterisks have been handed out, and the respective sides are gearing up for what I hope will be a more civil contest for next year.

All the back-stabbing and politics aside, one of the prime arguments the Sad Puppies and the “CHORFs” have is, which comes first – the importance of a book or the entertainment value? They don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

Many years ago, I came across this great blog by A. Lee Martinez called "The Han Solo Factor."  He talks about the dangers he sees in taking fantasy too seriously. He says it better than I but in a nutshell, he finds that when people--perhaps as an apology for writing "kids' stuff," are too focused on making their fantasy stories Important, they lose the joy of the story itself. He holds Han Solo as an example as a hero that can be serious (or bring in the serious issues) while still being awesome and fun.

I agree with Martinez. You can be important while you entertain. I think it’s harder to entertain while striving to be important. At least, it is in my experience.

I don't worry about my theme. I enjoy torturing my characters for fun and plot-fit. Yet sometimes critics surprise me by finding social, political or religious commentary in what I thought was a cheap (albeit funny!) joke. Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator is a prime example.

I think a lot of it has to do with two things: letting your characters live the story, and not writing to make/preach a point or to explore an issue, but to enjoy an adventure. Not that you can't explore issues, even intensely, or hammer home a point, but when you let it be organic to the story, you can have deep themes and excellent adventures.

There isn’t a dichotomy between being important and being entertaining. Stories can do both. However, I think that if you strive to entertain while being true to yourself and your characters, your readers will find the importance in your story.

And if they don’t, they still get several hours of entertaining escapism. And that’s just fine by me.




Thursday, October 8, 2015

I Left My Brains in San Francisco audio book tour

This will be taking over the blog for the few days. Karina's on another book tour rampage!  Runnn!!!!!!




I Left My Brains in San Francisco
(Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator 2
Author Karina Fabian; narrator Becky Parker
From Damnation Books

Zombie problem? Call Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator--but not this weekend.

On vacation at an exterminator’s convention, she's looking to relax, have fun, and enjoy a little romance. Too bad the zombies have a different idea. When they rise from their watery graves to take over the City by the Bay, it looks like it'll be a working vacation after all.

Enjoy the thrill of re-kill with Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator.


BIO

We could tell you Karina Fabian is an award-winning author, that she writes science fiction, fantasy, horror, and devotionals (15 books and counting.) It would all be true, but makes for a boring bio. If you really want to learn about her stuff, go to http://fabianspace.com. She has book trailer videos, excerpts from her books, and pictures of her dogs and her Mazda Miata, all of which are more fun to see.
However, if you’re interested…
Karina is a native Coloradoan who lives in Utah because she and her family like it better. With 270-degree view of the mountains and the Great Salt Lake, great neighbors, lots of geeky conventions (Salt Lake City Comic Con rocks!), what’s not to love? She works full-time at Top Ten Reviews, where she is a proud member of the business team (Business Badgers, unite!). Honestly, researching mortgage companies and the like is deadly dull, but her coworkers are nerdy and funny. It’s like what she imagined high school would be in a perfect world.
She’s married to Robert Fabian, a retired Colonel, project manager for BAE systems and VP of Propulsion for Rocket Crafters, Inc. She definitely married up! Her first words to him were “Live long and prosper,” and they have been ever since. They have four great kids who love to pun, watch anime, read fantasy and play D&D. Their bedtime stories were often her rough drafts, but no one’s gone to therapy for that yet.
Everyone likes to know about pets! They currently have two dogs: Toby and Marley. Toby, the coon shepherd, is beautiful and soft, and Marley, the lab-basset, is bassadorable. Toby’s favorite pastime is pulling 2x4s from under the porch and running across the yard with them, while Marley dreams of killing chickens. Again.
Oh! And the Miata. Bright red, hardtop convertible… She will drive it in 20-degree weather with the top down. After 21 years of minivans, it was time for a fun car, and it’s the most fun she’s ever had behind the wheel.
Karina is founder and active member of the Catholic Writers’ Guild, and she teaches writing live and in monthly webinars. Check out the website above. She’s always glad to do guest appearances.

Excerpts 

"Hi! Welcome to Zomblog! It's ‘Time to Re-kill!’ This is Kelsey Gardenberger, and we are reporting to you live from Fisherman's Wharf, where zombie exterminators Rii and Hi Lee of Bay Exterminations have been called in to take out a zombie."
Police held back spectators who had cell phones to film the event. On the ground lay a man in a black-and-white striped shirt, black pants with suspenders and gold makeup on his rotting skin. He pounded on the air with imaginary fists, and then felt along imaginary walls with his hands. Where he should have had fingers, only mangled skin and bare bones showed. Rii and Hi, both in protective gear, watched the prone figure and spoke among themselves. The zombie continued his act unconcerned, except to pause now and again and make drinking motions before pointing to the top hat waiting beside him.
"It looks like Rii Lee and Hi Lee have decided on their strategy. Despite the fact that the zombie appears so docile, it could turn violent at the slightest provocation--and if you don't believe me, check out 'Don't wave that thing at me!' on the Zomblog archives. They're starting!"
While Rii stood by with a power blaster of anti-zombie foam, Hi ambled up to the prone zombie, sword relaxed but ready in his left hand. He watched the undead mime its struggle against the imaginary coffin, nodded appreciatively, and tossed a twenty into the hat. The Wasted Mime started clawing with fervor, dug himself up, and brushed himself off.
Some of the crowd in the front stepped back.
It picked up the hat, checked the money.
The crowd took in a breath.
It faced Hi.
Hi bowed.
The crowd gasped. Cameras flashed.
The zombie bowed back, deeply and theatrically.
Hi lashed out with his sword, its blade cutting deeply and theatrically into the zombie's neck.
The re-killed corpse folded over.
The crowd broke into wild cheers.
Kelsey smiled big for the camera. "And there you have it! Looks like a mime isn't such a terrible thing to waste after all."


Find Karina at:

Find I Left My Brains in San Francisco at:





Monday, February 9, 2015

THIS! IS! 500!!!!! Thanks, and the top ten list

Cedar
This is the 500th post for this blog.

We've done a LOT since last time.

The Pius Trilogy has finally come to an end.  Each of the books, A Pius ManA Pius Legacy, and A Pius Stand have all had great reviews, with only one prick who decided that I had kicked his puppy or something. Though if he really wants Sad Puppies, go here.  Cedar, Larry Correia and Sarah Hoyt can really make puppies cry. MUAHAHAHAHAHA

Margot
I'm sorry, where was I?  I was distracted by crying puppies.

Oh, yes, 500 posts.

I've been trying to sell these books since 2007, and I've been running this blog -- or vice versa -- since 2010.

Because of it, I've made some great friends, like Sarah Hoyt,  Ann Margaret Lewis, Karina Fabian, Daniella Bova, Daria Anne DiGiovanni, Margot St. Aubin, and Matt Bowman, the Novel Ninja.

I've read some awesome books, like Amy Lynn, Ordinance 93, The Watson Chronicles, the Book of Helen, Stealing Jenny, and a whole slough of others. Slew? Slough? Oh, you get the idea.

Kia
And these people.  Wow.

Heck, due to Kia Heavey, I have a new model for Manana Shushurin, now that the previous model is far, far too respectable to be associated with the likes of me.  She was before, but I guess she finally figured that out. :)  Kia is an author, and I recommend her books. Heck, I have.

Ann and Karina have been responsible for dragging me into the Catholic Writer's Guild. And if they weren't (it's been so long, they may not have), they're a large chunk of the reason I stay.

There's the CLFA, and that's also a long story.

Margot was largely responsible for the gun shop visit of 2014, and accompanied me to the Catholic Writers Guild conference that I was a guest at.

I've lost some good friends.  One of my first beta readers for A Pius Man died before it was published. The first artist for the site, with whom I was acquaintances since college, and I drifted apart.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

My radio career has begun!!!

In case you were wondering what the bloody Hell I was doing for the last week, well...

I was getting ready to host a radio program.

I explain below.

Check Out Writing Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with Writestream on BlogTalkRadio

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Review: I Left My Brains In San Francisco

Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator, is back in Neeta Lyffe 2:  I Left My Brains In San Francisco.  After hosting the show Zombie Death Extreme (which has spun off more copies of the franchise than anyone in the book can count), Neeta is back to her job Re-killing the undead.  However, for this book, she's off to a Zombie conference in San Francisco. There will be scientists, government researchers, fellow re-killing experts, as well as enough vendors to outfit a small armory.

Also tagging along is her business partner and sort-of/maybe boyfriend Ted, who had been a cameraman on Zombie Death Extreme, and has joined her as an exterminator with a penchant for setting things on fire. Usually zombies.

But there's something out in the dark waters of the bay that is restless, cold, and dark, and hungry.  And Neeta is about to have a busman's holiday from hell....

No, that's not the summary from the back of the book, that's the short version of my own summary.

Now, let's start with all of the good things about this book.

The details put into this world is impressive, and even reminds of me of early Laurell K. Hamilton (when the books were dedicated to building up her character's world, not her list of sex partners).  The global politics are well put together, the various legal systems regarding zombies, etc (and, sadly, I can see some idiot passing a "no eco-profiling" act). I liked the shots she took at the Occupy movement, and creating degrees in professional protesting (since anyone who read my self defense columns knows my opinion there), and, once the book gets started, they have a solid, amusing running gag involving a group of eco-terrorists.

There is also a ton of details and thought put into the development of anti-zombie weapons systems, from monofilament swords (model such as "the Buffy," or "The Highlander", and, of course, the "Inigo Montoya"), to specialized squirtguns, and flamethrowers.  There is a talking GPS named Majel (Star Trek joke), and a whole bunch of little moments that make this book quite enjoyable. And, of course, having recently been to DragonCon, I could easily believe some of the panels at this particular convention.

And, frankly, Madam Fabian may have already spoiled the best scene in the book for you the other day in her own guest post. [more below the break]

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Interview with Karina Fabian, author of "I Left My Brains In San Francisco"


So, round two. Yesterday was the guest blog for Karina Fabian as part of her virtual book tour for I Left My Brains In San Francisco.

The premise?

 Zombie problem? Call Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator--but not this weekend.
On vacation at an exterminator’s convention, she's looking to relax, have fun, and enjoy a little romance. Too bad the zombies have a different idea. When they rise from their watery graves to take over the City by the Bay, it looks like it'll be a working vacation after all.
Enjoy the thrill of re-kill with Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator.

Q: The first NL was a great satire of reality shows, with just the occasional shot at politicians. What made you go to a Zombie Exterminator Convention in San Francisco? Why San Francisco?

I’d just gone to World Fantasy Con in San Francisco, and my brother-in-law worked at a refinery in Richmond, and thought it’d make an awesome location for a zombie attack. (He’s been promoted and lives in LA now; no connection to the book). Plus, my publisher lives in San Jose, and she loves San Francisco, so it was an easy choice.

Q So it wasn’t just an easy way to slip in more political shots along the way? If that's the case, was DC taken?
California is an easy target, but it was the thought of zombies at the famous tourist sites that I enjoyed, although I didn’t get in as many as I’d expected. The story demanded other locations. Still, there are some great vignettes at famous spots. Maybe someday, I’ll write some short stories of the other sightings that didn’t get in the book.

Q: In the first NL, the EPA was going after detergents that Neeta thought was most effective about fighting zombies. Did you throw that in to imply the EPA would go after it *because* it could fight zombies, or was it just for fun?


They didn’t go after it because it would fight zombies, but because they’re hard on the environment. That was kind of the point—never mind that they’re our best defense against zombies; in large quantities they might affect the Spotted Peeing Mouse or somesuch. Of course, the whole idea of bleach being an effective zombie repellant is pretty ridiculous, so the real point is fun.

Q: The Neeta books seem to be your most political. They take swipes at the EPA, trial lawyers, eco-terrorists, the Occupy movement, and I'm sure a few other political targets that I'm missing.
I should have a contest to see how many things I poke fun at in these books.

Q Why Zombies? Were vampires taken?
Zombies were not my idea, actually. Kim Richards founded Damnation Books and asked folks to write stories for an anthology called *The Zombie Cookbook* to kick off the publishing company. So I wrote a funny one called “Wokking Dead,” which was more food puns and silliness than anything, but people loved Neeta and she asked me to write some novels.

Q: In the last book, the main adversary of the book seemed to be general stupidity -- be it of reality show producers, or everyone who seems to think they know better. In this, it seems to be eco-terrorists of the group called TREE. What made you decide to focus on them as a primary bad guy?


I needed a reason for zombies to attack a fuel refinery, and by the logic I’d already set up in Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator, it couldn’t be random coincidence. They had to have a reason to make the effort to go there, and to do damage once there. Eco-terrorism just made sense.

Q: This blog's latest release has been about a murder mystery at a science fiction convention -- essentially, humor via culture shock. What's your approach to it?
To humor? Twist cliché’s, take a trend to ridiculous extremes, puns, and generally amusing myself as I strive to amuse others.

Q: Did you have to work VERY hard on all of the in-jokes? The GPS voice named Majel? The monofilament sword called "The Buffy"? That sort of thing.
Oh, no! That’s the easy part. Those come to me as I write, but I (and my family) crack those kind of jokes all the time, so I have lots of practice. Ditto with puns. We used to reward our kids for coming up with puns. Rob and I actually fell in love during a pun war while eating pizza and watching Looney Tunes cartoons at a Shakey’s in San Angelo, TX. Humor is important in our house.

Q: What's next for Neeta? A. Zombie for Presidential candidate?
Zombies are not considered persons—there was a lot of debate and work on that, and even in the 2040s, there are still some who try to get them registered to vote. (And some that rise from the dead in hopes of completing their civic duty—amazing, I know!)

The next thing for Neeta and Ted is a ski vacation in Utah. Unfortunately, when a ski team killed in an avalanche returns from the dead to finish the competition, it turns into a working vacation. “Shambling in a Winter Wonderland” will be a story written in serial to raise money for Operation Homestead. Folks will find it in mid-November at http://skizombies.karinafabian.com

Q So, what's next for you?

Right now, the serial story. When that is finished, I’ll probably finish Gapman, a super-hero spoof in my DragonEye, PI universe. I’m also toying with publishing some of my novellas via Kindle.

Q: What've you been reading lately? In fiction, or non-fiction, or politics?

I just finished *Monster Hunters: Legion* by Larry Correia, which was an awesome book—definitely “popcorn” reading, but fun! I also have been reading a lot on the space industry, so Space News, Nations Space Society, etc. I’m blogging about it at http://fabianspace101.blogspot.com , Rocket Science for the Rest of Us. I get enough “politics” via Facebook. I’ll be glad for November!

Monday, October 1, 2012

Guest post: Karina Fabian on Zombies


So, when Karina Fabian offered to write a guest post for the blog, I figured I'd take her up on it. After all, I was slowing down after all of the DragonCon posts.

The topic I gave her? I wanted to know why the heck anyone wanted to be bothered with zombies.

She sent me the following.

Keep in mind, I think the following includes the best scene in her latest novel, Neeta Lyffe 2: I Left My Brains In San Francisco.


Why Zombies? Using the absurd in fiction to show the absurd in life.

Survival Hardware hadn’t seen such a rush of customers since the last Armageddon prediction coincided with Black Friday.
Manager Clint Sanders rubbed his hands with glee. Oh, Marley, if only you hadn’t gotten drunk and decided to go zombie hunting. Was it only last Christmas?
He hurried to Customer Service, crafting an announcement in his mind. “You want to live! We want to live! That’s why you are going to file calmly to the back if you need a suit.”
Yeah. Sense of urgency, plus that “We’re in this together” crap.
He got to the counter and nodded at Bitsy, who had rung up a chainsaw and a half-crate of bleach.
God bless survivors. Clint continued to the back. Out of habit, he checked the exit door, even though it was always locked from the outside. He needed to delete Marley's old code from it.
He cleared his throat. “Listen up! You want to live! We want to live!”
The exit door clicked.
“That’s impossible!” he declared. The store fell silent.
“Boss?” Bitsy’s voice ended in a squeak.
“That’s not what I meant! Security team to customer service!”
He reached under the counter for a shotgun. Bitsy grabbed the chainsaw. They had filled them that morning—another example of the excellent service at Survival Hardware.
The door swung open, and the zombiefied remains of his late business partner, Marley, staggered through.
Clint to blasted him with the shotgun. The impact knocked the Marley out the door.
Clint used the gunsight to scan the parking lot. “He brought friends! Call Nine-One-One. I’m putting this place on shutdown.”
“Screw that! I’ve been prepping all my life for this!” With a howl of challenge, Bitsy dashed out the door. She swung low and decapitated her former boss before moving on.
Thundering footsteps signaled the customers following in her wake.
He gaped at the carnage while Dirk called 9-1-1. It’d be too late by the time they got there. All that’d be left was to clean up the zombie parts and get the customers back in to pay.
God bless survivors.
---From I Left My Brains in San Francisco, by Karina Fabian

In the 2040s, zombies have become a reality. They rise from the grave, intent on eating brains or sometimes completing something that they didn't finish in life--even if it's a beer and a TV show. And, true to so many phenomenon in life, we are caught unprepared and unaware. That's how I started the world premise, and I let the story take me from there: People want to understand them, defend them, study them, use them--but above all, they want those vermin out of their yard! Thus, the hero of the story--Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator.

It's an age-old science fiction writers' trick--use the future to discuss an issue of today. In my case, the zombies are just part of a world gone a little loopier than it is now. You’ll find a great example of government waste and bureaucratic infighting in the Broken Bridge, started as a cooperative effort and halted with 120 feet to finish—and one side 60 feet lower than the other—because neither side communicated with the other. Video blog sites have exclusives on banned videos of a gruesome carnage—but only for members. California has subsidized protesting; and everyone gets an Adult Starter Allowance until they’re 25, as long as they aren’t working, of course. The newest environmental theory is Global Fattening, and the hot new protestors, the undead!

All of this makes a delightful mishmash of insanity into which to drop one woman who just wants to protect people by rekilling the undead--and hopefully making a little money and having some kind of social life while she's at it.

I hope you’ll enjoy I Left My Brains in San Francisco. It’s all in good fun, but if any of it comes true, I’ll be back in 30 years to say “I told you so!”


Bio On The Author





If there’s such a thing as ADD of the imagination, Karina Fabian has it—in spades. Craft books, devotionals, serious science fiction, comedic horror and chilling fantasy—she follows her interests and the characters that tell her their stories. 

Even before she could write, Karina strung tall tales about everything from making human pyramids in Kindergarten to visiting alien worlds. Her first attempt at novel writing was in fourth grade; she completed her first novel in college. However, her first published work was an anthology of Christian science fiction, Leaps of Faith, an EPPIE finalist for best anthology in 2006. Her next anthology, Infinite Space, Infinite God, featured Catholic characters and themes and won the EPPIE for science fiction. The second Infinite Space, Infinite God anthology came out in 2010. 

Watching the comedy improv show, Whose Line Is It, Anyway, inspired her noir-style dragon detective, Vern. Vern and his partner, Sister Grace, have solved mysteries and saved the Faerie and Mundane worlds numerous numerous times in the DragonEye, PI stories and novels. Their serial story, World Gathering, won a Mensa Owl; and the novel, Magic, Mensa and Mayhem (Fabian’s first published novel), won the INDIE for best fantasy in 2010. The second DragonEye book, Live and Let Fly, came out in April 2012. 

At a friend’s request, Karina wrote a funny story about a zombie exterminator, which grew into the Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator novels. The first, Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator, won the 2011 Global E-Book award for best horror, and was runner-up in the eFestival of Words for best YA. 

She also writes serious science fiction. Her SF novels, Discovery and The Old Man and the Void, are currently under consideration, and she’s working on the next DragonEye novel, a superhero spoof, Gapman. 

Karina has a strong faith, which she explored in her devotional, Why God Matters: How to Recognize Him in Daily Life, which she wrote with her father Steve Lumbert, and which won the 2011 Christian Small Press Publisher Award. She also writes Catholic school calendars and has written three craft books for the Little Flowers/Blue Knights clubs. 

Fabian is married to Colonel Robert A. Fabian of the USAF, and they are currently enjoying a long distance relationship while he’s stationed in Iraq. They have four children, an overgrown pup, and a harried cat. When not writing, teaching writing, or chatting about writing, she’s hanging out with her kids or swinging a sword in haidong gumbdo. 

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Review: Karina Fabian's "Neeta Lyffe: Zombie Exterminator"

You might remember that, a while back, I had been involved in a Catholic Writer's Guild online conference. I ran a workshop on fight scenes, and ran a discussion on creating a villain. During the course of that latter chat, I mentioned that it helped if the villain had the brain. Mindless, shambling zombies were not really that much fun, as villains go … Then I remembered that one of the people in the chat was Karina Fabian … who had written – surprise – a book about a Zombie Exterminator.

Now, if I had had my wits about me, I would have noted how, in zombie films, zombies are generally NOT the main bad guys. They set the scene, they act as cannon fodder (for an action franchise like Resident Evil, where the real villains are the Evil Corporation du jour), but most zombie movies are more about the people in the Zombie Apocalypse du jour rather than about the zombies. The zombies are window dressing.

Instead, my witless wonder moment had me hasten to add "Though I can't speak for every zombie storyline, I have yet to read Karina Fabian's." I think I inserted a smiley and went on from there.

Within two minutes, I heard an email click. I had just received an e-copy of Karina Fabian's Neeta Lyffe: Zombie Exterminator.

See, when I shoot from the lip, I have no idea what'll happen.

Neeta Lyffe: Zombie Exterminator, takes place in the 2040s, several decades after the zombie outbreaks started. There are no zombie apocalypses here.  It never happened. However, the undead can be annoying, so exterminators have to be called in -- exterminators with chainsaws.  Zombies are attracted to certain strong smells, and they don't like standard household cleaners.... don't ask.

Neeta Lyffe, a second-generation exterminator (motto: "I want to be buried like my mother, with my head cradled in my arms") is sued after an extermination call went into property damage. Now, in order to generate income, she's agreed to do the most terrifying thing in her life..... host a reality show.

Yes, you read that right. The reality show Zombie Death Extreme, where Neeta is stuck with a handful of exterminator wannabes, training them to re-kill the occasional nests of undead that threaten LA (then again, if parts of LA were turned into shambling mindless hordes, would anyone notice?). Also included: re-grief training ... for when you have to mourn for loved ones a second time, when they come back; and flash cards to tell the difference between a stroke victim, a drunk, and a zombie.  And you can probably guess, this has a sense of humor, unlike most zombie films ("We throw the grenades on the count of 3. 1, 2, 3."  Second person shouts "Five," and throws the grenade ... sorry, Monty Python joke.).

The cast looks like it should be stocked with the standard cliches: an ex-marine, a farm boy with a stutter, an African-American woman from an urban environment, an Afghan emigre who's first language isn't English (he speaks it perfectly well, but the producers want him so speak more like Hasan from a Bugs Bunny Cartoon). The Producer of the show is the standard two-dimension cardboard cutout, which means he's drawn very accurately -- however, he's never had to negotiate with someone who carries a chainsaw on a daily basis, including the occasional brainstorming session for the show.

All of the characters are vivid and brightly drawn ... and heavily mocked, in some cases. Everything you have ever hated about reality television is skewered ruthlesly, and wonderfully.

Possibly one of the best parts of this book (and there are plenty to choose from), use the running excerpts from a documentary on the rise of zombies, detailing a somewhat funny look on the matter, down to and including Darwin Award winners who tried to play tag with a zombie. That was fun.

In short, it's one part satire, one part action, and all parts fun.

Coming Soon, Netta Lyffe: I Left My Brains in San Francisco.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Self defense review: Zombies, Women's self defense, Barbara Sheehan

This has been a really weird month for me, truly. And how is that difference from any other month, you ask?

 To start with, most of my self defense review materials turned out to be comedies.

Taking this month in chronological order will probably make the most sense.

To start with, I discovered a new Women's self defense, every Sunday.in Manhattan.  It's Krav Maga for women -- which is actually more advanced than going for straight, plain-old Krav Maga, believe it or not. It has to be for some of the techniques to be effective.

And then, of course, there was the little incident of Barbara Sheehan, battered women: which is always a problem.  In New York, you can't kill anyone and get away with it. That includes if you kill someone in self defense. Even if a jury let's you go, the New York District Attorney's office will find some way to throw you in jail, without remorse.

But, then again, the odds of that happening are more likely when you consider that Barbara Sheehan shot her husband with his own gun while he was shaving, after she just came back from her next door neighbors. Click the link to read more.

After that, things got a little weird. Yesterday, I covered the latest in Catholic Conspiracies, with Occupy Wall Street.  I also did several articles about them kicking around.  I not only did articles about protection from them, and how dangerous they may or may not be (answer: mostly harmless) but how they can protect themselves -- both from each other (ie: how NOT to have your $5K laptop stolen), and their own stupidity (eg: DON'T ATTACK THE POLICE!!!!!).

I also discovered that the same people who brought you last month's self defense seminar has a new one: knife and stick defenses.

And last, but not least .....

Okay, I have to deal with a lot of strange stuff in New York. That's because it's New York.  Nothing here is really "normal" here.

And then there's the CDC creating the Zombie Preparedness kit ... and the comic book for it.

I can't make this stuff up.

See you all  next week.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Music: Blog like it's the end of the world.

I didn't have anything else to blog about today, so I figured I'd just throw a music blog in here ....

First up, Tom Smith .... describing what this job feels like some days.




So, what would happen if you, one day, became a Jedi?

Come to the dark side, we have cookies.





Monday, January 10, 2011

What Do You Mean There's Philosophy in A Pius Man?

I'm a simple fellow. Simpleminded, at times. Which is why there are a lot of people who know me and say, “I can't really believe you have a degree in philosophy. You don't spout out gibberish about how the table isn't a table..”

MIRA FURLAN (BABYLON 5) PHOTO DELENN
Hegel never looked
this good.
I understand that. I do, really. Try to read Hegel, and you get stuff about consciousness-- which is the key turning point of his entire philosophy-- and you basically get gibberish, since his terms are undefined. (If you are a science fiction fan, look up Minbari theology on Babylon 5, Hegel is the same babble, only without the reincarnation bit). Read Descartes, who basically said that you had to look at every little thing with a highly skeptical eye, and start with what you know for absolute certainty, concluding that the only thing you can ever really know for certain is that “I exist,” the rest is negotiable. (Popularly known as “I think therefore I am.” Does not cover instances of drivers during rush hour, who obviously don't think, but are real enough to get you killed.)

I'm sorry, Mr. Descartes, I'm slow and stupid. If I get hit in the head with a rock, I'm going to think that the rock is real. And that someone threw it at me. And that I will have to hurt someone.

Which is why I am a Thomist.

At which point the audience asks, “A what now?”