Election Day: Who Would Marvel and DC Vote For?

After Green Arrow / Green Lantern, Spider-Man (Peter Parker), and Batman (Bruce Wayne), Captain America, Iron Man (Tony Stark), Daredevil, Deadpool, Catwoman, Superman, Fantastic Four, and Luke Cage ....it's already been a busy day.

But for those of you just showing up, we're doing an expanded version of the 2012 post where I broke down comic book characters by politics. Because the 2016 election has been a joke since the nomination process.

This was an all day thing. One post per character ... mostly. The shorter ones will be grouped together. After all, there's no much I can do with Deadpool.

The ones done for this year include...

Captain America

Green Arrow / Green Lantern.

Spider-Man (Peter Parker)

Batman (Bruce Wayne)

Iron Man (Tony Stark)

Daredevil -- with Wilson Fisk (of course)

Deadpool -- Includes Norman Osborn and Two Face as bonus rounds

Catwoman -- with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn

Superman -- and the Hulk, and even Nick Fury

Fantastic Four -- the Penquin, Mr. Freeze, and some nonstarters

Luke Cage -- this one will surprise you

Deathstroke -- this one may not surprise you as much.

Nonstarters

These are nonstarters in general, and I couldn't really scrounge up enough of these folks for their own entry.  They are both heroes and villains. And, while I would have loved to title this post "WWJVF: Who would Joker vote for," well, he's not really that complicated.

People who I have considered and rejected doing this time out include.

The Punisher: 
He's too easy. Frank Castle doesn't care. He wants his guns, and no one will take them away. Not the mob. Not politicians. No one. Ever. He's like a Honey Badger, he just doesn't give a darn. Trump? Hillary? He would probably take one look at everyone and tell them to simply leave him alone. Or they would be dead. Period.

Doctor Strange: It is too tempting to pull him in, since his film just came out, but really, would it help that much? I'm sure he would hate Obamacare, and what's been done to the healthcare industry in general, but as Sorcerer Supreme, I'm not even sure he's registered to vote anymore. And in what dimension? Hell, have you seen how he dresses? Imagine that walking into a voting booth. Then again, he does live in Greenwich Village, so would anyone notice?

Wolverine: Canadian. And unlike Deadpool (who I'm told is also from up North), he would let that stop him.

Jessica Jones: She's too drunk to vote. Otherwise, she'd vote Hillary, or Johnson, if she was feeling more nihilistic than usual.

Joker -- As noted, he'd probably kill everyone in the polling place, and vote Johnson.

Lex Luthor -- Would vote for himself. He was President once, after all.

Wonder Woman -- won't vote, since both candidates have no military service.

Thor -- Not a citizen, and therefore, can't vote.

Loki -- As a demigod of chaos, you can almost lay money that he would vote Bernie

And, while we're all here....try Murphy's Law of Vampires, sequel to the second place Sad Puppies 4 nominee for best novel, and Dragon Award nominated novel Honor at Stake came out yesterday. 

Enjoy.

Election Day Special: Who would Green Arrow Vote for?

As I said in the last post on Captain America, as in 2012, am going to break down comic book characters by  politics and concluded who they were voted for.

And 2016 is going to get it, too.

In the spirit of going completely and utterly over the top, I will take it one step further. However, I'm going to tell you right now that this is a joke from minute one to minute last.

But then, the 2016 election has been a joke since day one.

One of the differences between this and 2012 will be that this will be an all day thing. One post per character ... mostly. The shorter ones will be grouped together. After all, there's no much I can do with some people.

Oliver Queen, aka Green Arrow (DC Universe). 

Why, yes.
I do think I'm Robin Hood

For those of you who don't know Green Arrow from the comic books (not the tv show Arrow).... he's sort of like the anti-Batman. Or, as Novel Ninja Matthew Bowman put it, the comic book Green Arrow was like Batman if he had been bitten by a radioactive Robin Hood.

While also from a rich, industrial family, Oliver Queen is Left-Wing. I don't mean Democrat, I mean Left-wing, pseudo-socialist.  Half his conversations with the Justice League involve him screaming "You're all a bunch of fascists!"

I'm not even certain he knows how serious he is about such things.

In any event, it's kinda clear that he'll vote for the most Left-wing politician there is. The only politician like that who will reliably show up on the national stage, including Queen's fictional Star City, would probably be Barack Obama.

However, since Ollie had been Mayor of Starling City once, he'd probably put himself on the ballot, and promptly vote for himself.

And, since Bernie Sanders had been the nominee, and the Hillary emails indicate not only that she managed to rig the system in her favor, but that she also hates him and his supporters, Oliver Queen would probably scream that she was the corruption inherent in the system.

VOTE GOES TO: Either Hillary, Bernie as a protest vote, himself, or the farthest Left-wing candidate available.

Bonus round: Who would Green Lantern Vote for?

Hal Jordan, aka Green Lantern (DC Universe).


This one is a quickie, mostly because this one isn't really even a question, now is it? Hal Jordan is a military pilot who flies fighter planes.

In fact, he flies experimental planes at the company run by his girlfriend's father.

He's going to be voting his paycheck. Duh. It's going to be a vote for Trump. It would mostly be on the issue of, well, his paycheck. Unless he's not even going to be on the planet, in which case he might not even vote.

No, I didn't like the Ryan Reynolds movie either.

VOTE GOES TO: Trump. Or he'll be off trying to keep the planet from being destroyed again.

See the previous post: Captain America

Or, while we're all here.... Murphy's Law of Vampires, sequel to the second place Sad Puppies 4 nominee for best novel, and Dragon Award nominated novel Honor at Stake came out yesterday. 

Enjoy.

1000 Posts Later: The Best Posts Of the Blog

And now we're here. And now we're at post #1000.

Who knew?

Now what?

Well, as per tradition, I note all of the top ten blogs of all time.

1. Who would Captain America vote for? An election special.

Four years later, this is still on the list. Originally from the 2012 election, I this one was probably carried more by Alex Ross art than anything else. But it's still going strong as the #1 blog of all time.

This was fun. I was just going over the top and insane.

But here, Captain America punching Hitler in the face.

Can we have one of Captain America punching Osama in the face? Really. Pretty please?

Yeah, I know, I should probably do this again for 2016, but no. Have you seen the cesspit of this election? No one would vote for either one of these people. I think even Captain America would punch both of them in the face. Repeatedly. The 2016 election would make Tony Stark run for President as a 3rd party candidate, and win.

2. Sad Puppies Bite Back

From April of last year, and it jumped to the #2 spot immediately. This is so successful, I made this into a novel. Yes, it's a book now. Please, feel free to to buy it.

If you have no idea what SPBB is ... click here. It is a really, really, really long flipping story. It was a one-shot that spiraled so far out of control, I really didn't see the end of it.

But people are still coming to the blog just to read them.  Well, here you go, enjoy. 

3. Sex, DC Comics, and ... wtf?

Yup, it's still in the #3 spot, and shows no signs of leaving. Ever, really.

This was right after the dawn of DC's New 52 Universes in 2011, when the comics had gone into a sideways spiral of strange. 

Catwoman screwing Batman on a roof? Check. 

Starfire becoming an amnesiac slut? Check .... except that they're not even that clear, and backtracked, rewrote, and I'm not even sure that DC Comics know what the hell they were doing then. 

I think this the popularity of this had something to do with sex being in the title. You don't even want to see what the search terms look like.

4. Disasters to Marvel At: A Comic Discussion.

From 2010, I ripped apart with every stupid decision that Marvel comics had made for the previous 5 years.  Sadly, some of those decisions are still going strong. But it's hard to figure out which ones. 

Except for One More Day. F**k that, and them, and Joe Quesada.

I think I have to do this again. Because, well, Captain America as Hydra. Gah.

Seriously, Marvel, stop it.

I'm told that OMD might be reversed. I'm not holding my breath, though.

5. Review: Tom Stranger, Interdimensional Insurance Agent.

Yay, we have a new one. Yes, a new entry. who knew? But yes, this was the review of Larry Correia's really strange audio book, narrated by the awesome Adam Baldwin.

This was almost bizarre and hilarious, and the entire review exploded onto the top ten list in a matter of days, and it took a little while longer for it to make it to the number 5 spot.

But yes, I do recommend it. It's hilarious.

Also, Wendell the Manatee.

6. Sad Puppies Bite Back (Part 2)

This one is still on the list. Again, as new as last year, but still, it's here. And, obviously, you do need to buy the book to read the whole thing now, sorry.

Historically, though, this is where things started going really odd. And I probably should have seen it coming that things were going to really go sideways ... "sideways" as in "The Puppies have taken over my blog."  I think part one got suggestions of nominating this for a "Best related" award from the Hugos. 

I would have enjoyed watching the Puppy Kickers go insane. But we can't have everything. 

Oh well. Heh. 

7. Cry Havoc! And Let Slip the Puppies of War!

From April of 2015, this was after Entertainment Weekly's libelous article about Sad Puppies, written and published without talking to anyone within Sad Puppies. At all. Yes, really.

Believe it or not, in retrospect, this was not what got me really into the Sad Puppies bandwagon. That was when someone decided to go after Brad Torgersen's wife. Then, then I had a meltdown, and decided someone needed a stern talking to.

8. #MakeItStop -- please, make the stupid stop

From this June, 2016. This is months old. Heck, in the course of a week, this shot up.

This is what happens with the use of hashtags.

I'm still blown away that, well, this was a political post. I don't do politics here. I tend to avoid them. I'm surprised anyone bothered.

And all I did was round up arguments I've seen others make online. 

Funny thing? The douchebags whining in the comments are pretty much invalidated by the existence of the truck attack last week in Nice, France.

Shocking, huh?

9. Puppies Come to WorldCon (SPBB III)

Still here from last year. This was going to be The End. Period. Dot. Final. The last straw. The Puppies were going to come to the Hugos, and it would have to end there. Why? Because there would be nothing left for me to write until the Hugos came out. It was a perfect out, right? Right?

Yes. And that worked soooo well.

10. The Dragon Awards are Here, vote Early, Vote Often.

This was a simple announcement about the Dragon Award nominees from this year. That was it. This also made it on the top ten list in a matter of weeks, if not days.

Looking over this list, I've come to the conclusion ... that I should probably make this blog all about sex, Sad Puppies, politics, book reviews, and comic books.  But then, I reach that conclusion every few hundred posts or so.  We'll see about doing that sometime next time around.

Sadly, I'm all out of Puppy material. Tomorrow, more Codename: UnSub.

Enjoy.

Stupid Writing Cliches, the revenge: Political cliches

I seem to be going after a lot of cliches lately. First there was the Christian cliches from a few weeks ago, now this.

ILLEGALS.

Want to give this alien a work permit?

This pisses me off because I'm a New Yorker, and I know how the world works on this. At least in New York City.

The usual cliche is "Oh, illegals can't come forward on crimes because they might be deported!"

WRONG! When pigs fly. When this is pulled on tv, you know it's crap.

For the past 15 years, New York has been an "asylum" state for any and all undocumented / illegal immigrants. Deportation doesn't happen. Period.

If you want to make the argument "They don't trust cops in their countries, because it's all corrupt where they're from,"  fine. You can make that argument. It's even a valid argument.

But to suggest that anyone is sending any illegal back anywhere? That's just a joke in most of the country, since the federal government has to ship them back home, and they haven't even thought about it in six years.

But this especially rings false in New York -- which is where you usually see the cliche anyway.  Hell, we can't even ship back criminals who enter the country illegally. Some of them make Al Pacino's Scarface look like a documentary. (I prefer Paul Muni, myself)

Also, the good, pure and virtuous illegal? Don't believe it. In the last year, tens of thousands of the undocumented immigrants are members of gangs, like MS-13, who traffic in drugs and people. These are not nice people.

Now, if you want to give me a story of the men and women who come to America, put in the time, energy and effort to become legal citizens? That's a story I will happily read, and happily wallow in. Because that's a story worth reading. And one that's far, far more believable.

The Infinite Crisis of DC Comics.

Ah, DC Comics..... You didn't think I had a grudge with Marvel, did you?

Last week, I took a look at Marvel comics, and how they've tried for yet another Marvel “event” every other week.

At the other end of the comic book universe, in DC Comics, there has been a crisis or two … hundred. They had an Identity Crisis, an Infinite Crisis, a Final Crisis, and one, three year War of the Rings (a Sinestro War, a Corps War, a Blackest night).

Spoiler Alerts all around.